Solution:<\/strong> Allow some things to slip to the back burner.\u00a0 New accomplishments at work were something I hadn’t even anticipated making strides with this year.\u00a0 I chose to not do the marathon of my own volition and instead chose a very worthy alternate goal, an olympic triathalon, which sounded like much more fun to train for and just about as badass on the proverbial athlete resume.\u00a0 The book thing?\u00a0 Also kinda fallen by the wayside with work.\u00a0 I have doubts about how kindly my company would take to me being a published author while employed there, and I think the urgency there was a desire to find some way to support myself in lieu of my current career.\u00a0 Now that I’m lovin’ it again, sadly, it’s going to go back to someday.\u00a0 And that’s ok.\u00a0 There is a reason for all of it.\u00a0 I’m not just a worthless slob.<\/p>\n Problem: <\/strong>And let’s elaborate on the weight thing.\u00a0 I am killing myself here and I’m barely in the 150’s.\u00a0 Before I ditched the scale a few weeks before the half, I was around 157.\u00a0 Then all of a sudden I woke up 2 months later at 163.\u00a0 I cannot fathom how I gained SIX lbs.\u00a0 And as much as I have an ethos of trying to forgive and move forward, I just can’t here right now.\u00a0 And my friends – losing 10 lbs is SO MUCH HARDER than losing 100.\u00a0 At 100 to go, you obviously have a lot of changes to do that make sense.\u00a0 Y’know, not washing down your double cheeseburger with a chocolate shake and eating veggies instead of french fries.\u00a0 Losing 10 lbs is hard because I don’t have easy big changes to make.\u00a0 It is really one little decision that tests my willpower and resolve after another and another.\u00a0 It’s tiring.\u00a0 And frustrating because I’ve seen all these numbers on the scale before.\u00a0 So it’s not like *woohoo, a new low* it’s *oh, I’m here again…* which is not nearly as exciting.<\/p>\n Also with the appearance, I am really frustrated with half my closet not fitting right.\u00a0 Never thought 5-10 lbs would make that much of a difference, but it does.\u00a0 Some pants that fit fine before give me a pooch.\u00a0 So I can only wear them with looser shirts.\u00a0 And some shirts that were perfectly fine in length are now too short.\u00a0 So I’m back to wearing my size 8\/10\/12s instead of my 6\/8\/10s.\u00a0 It makes me mad because I have worked SO HARD to earn the right to have a closet full of clothing that fits me and looks good.\u00a0 I guess I just can’t have nice things.<\/p>\n Solution: <\/strong> I just gotta keep on keepin’ on.\u00a0 I will continue on with my current plan.\u00a0 It’s slow going but it seems to be working on a month by month view.\u00a0 To appease Zliten (and to combat my crazies) I will try to whittle my exercise down to 5 days per week of training, and request that one other day we do something cool like a walking adventure or skating or climbing or something active.\u00a0 So bike\/swim one day, weights\/swim one day, long bike one day, long run one day, bike\/run one day, I guess.\u00a0 All I’m missing is one session of weights and I can just wrap those around some of the other workouts in 10 – 15 min segments.<\/p>\n As for the food?\u00a0 I’ll just keep taking stabs in the dark until I find the magic formula.\u00a0 And not deviate too much from what I’m doing because it’s going (painfully slowly) in the right direction.\u00a0 Then I will sell it and be rich!\u00a0 Muahaha!\u00a0 And really?\u00a0 I need to remember that as frustrating as it is to me, 10 lbs is really and truly cosmetic.\u00a0 Wah me, I’m a size 8 not a size 6.\u00a0 Some of my XS shirts don’t fit anymore.\u00a0 It’s not the end of the world.\u00a0 I’m going to keep on towards it, but sheesh, not something to get my panties in a wad about.\u00a0 Easier said than done, but here’s hoping.<\/p>\n Problem:<\/strong> I’m frustrated because I haven’t tackled the “finding somewhere to swim” yet.\u00a0 If it were completely up to me I would be at a different place every day or 2 checking out pools but there is only so often that work\/other obligations\/can drag Zliten with since he’s joining up somewhere too.\u00a0 I think it will probably be next Tuesday before we can make another attempt because we have other plans and priorities.\u00a0 So my lovely idea to swim twice this week?\u00a0 Absolute fail.\u00a0 And getting access to a pool is going to cost us a lot, not to mention lessons… it just feels overwhelming.\u00a0 Running was easy because all I need is shoes.\u00a0 Biking, I’m getting over the whole “need Zliten to go with so I feel safe” thing and also getting over my hatred of gym bikes.\u00a0 But of course, the swimming thing is what I need to work on the very most, and I don’t have a way to do it.<\/p>\n Solution:<\/strong> This Sunday if at all possible (I think I found a loophole in our schedule) I want to check out the Y up north that supposedly has an awesome lap pool and evaluate whether it’s worth the drive 2x week.\u00a0 If not, next Tuesday begins the gym-ocolypse to see if we can find a good home that’s not too pricey.\u00a0 With a nice pool.\u00a0 That maybe offers lessons so we don’t have to spend an extra 50 bucks a month on that.\u00a0 Argh!\u00a0 I don’t know why this is stressing me out so but it is.\u00a0 I just have to take solace in the fact that I was able to rock the full distance of the swim for the tri on my first… try (badup, ching!) so I should be ok in a pinch.\u00a0 It’s really a priority when I go from sprint to olympic but that’s 2 months from now.<\/p>\n Problem:<\/strong> My hair is repulsive right now.\u00a0 It’s at a really bad length where it doesn’t look good no matter WHAT I do with it.\u00a0 I haven’t been bothering washing it more than once a week because it really doesn’t matter, it looks gross either way.\u00a0 And I seem to be putting off and subconsciously scared of doing something about it.\u00a0 Y’all, I’ve never been to a salon.\u00a0 Maybe supercuts here or there in a pinch, but my hair has been tended to by my mother, and then by Zliten.\u00a0 And I’ve had the same haircut since I was 14 – shoulder length or longer, all one length.\u00a0 I am really wanting something *different* but terrified to go somewhere hip that will do something that requires a lot of maintenance and doesn’t work for working out.\u00a0 Or that just looks god awful.\u00a0 And with all this talk about pools costing a ton of money, I don’t want to spend 100 bucks on a haircut.\u00a0 But I told myself I was going to not do the Zliten cut this time, I was going to do something different.\u00a0 So here I sit.<\/p>\n Solution: <\/strong> First step – Zliten is cutting my hair tomorrow.\u00a0 Asking for it a little bit longer than I really want it so I’m still motivated to go get it styled eventually, but if it’s really making me this unhappy, I need to deal with it.\u00a0 And since I’m obviously not mentally ready to let someone else touch it yet, forcing myself into it is not the best idea.\u00a0 It may be such a minor thing to y’all, but it has big significance to me.\u00a0 Even when I was at my fattest, I was the chick with the cool long hair.\u00a0 Now I don’t care for it to be long anymore, but I’m so afraid of getting a cut that makes my face look rounder.\u00a0 Or ending up with something so high maintenance to make it look decent (hi2u late 90s jennifer anniston cut that looked HORRIBLE and took forever to grow out) that I just look like dog poopy for months.\u00a0 Any of you girlier girls out there, I need HELP here.\u00a0 What would you suggest for this mug with naturally wavy hair?\u00a0 I just can’t do the “get up and style my hair” every morning thing – so it has to be get up (maybe put some product in, and possibly brush it) and go.<\/p>\n Problem:<\/strong> I’ve come to terms that I AM actually pretty bitter about the half marathon earlier this year.\u00a0 Training so precisely and so hard for 3 months just to get sick sucked balls.\u00a0 Plain and simple.\u00a0 I want revenge.\u00a0 I at least want a PR.\u00a0 I mean, I’m terribly proud of my level of fitness that I could even consider running 13.1 miles hacking up a lung with a sore throat, and even come within 3 minutes of my previous time, but still.<\/p>\n Solution:<\/strong> The marathon I was going to run in November has a half.\u00a0 I think I can do it with less training – especially if I’m just coming off training for an olympic tri – I’ll have great endurance and pretty fresh legs.\u00a0 If not, I’m targeting a weekend of crazy – half marathon trail run one day, duathlon the next (with a campout in the middle).\u00a0 That’s a special level of hell I will just be proud to finish.\u00a0 It’s been the year of non-traditional road races so far, it might just continue.\u00a0 But I need to rock another half marathon soon.\u00a0 It is inevitable.<\/p>\n There are a couple more personal things I’ve worked through too and have a plan for.\u00a0 It was a very productive thought day (and a very productive day at work, apparently I can have deep thoughts and crunch numbers in spreadsheets really well together).\u00a0 So my take on negative thoughts: have ’em.\u00a0 If you’re upset about something, be upset.\u00a0 It’s healthy to be unhappy about things that aren’t right in your life no matter how trivial they are.\u00a0 But make them a call to action rather than an excuse to wallow and be destructive.\u00a0 In a former life I might have berated myself for being too much of a wuss to get a haircut.\u00a0 Now I realize there are only so many scary things I can take on at once without breaking down, and this is not something to get upset about.\u00a0 Make a to do list, and check them off as you can.<\/p>\n Your turn.\u00a0 What’s got your panties in a wad?\u00a0 What’s your plan of action to restore happiness and harmony?\u00a0 If nothing – how do you plan to accept yourself as is?\u00a0 And 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