Adjusted Reality

…and sometimes, that’s not for the best. Ah well!

But let’s start at the beginning, shall we? Race prep was just fine, I ate all the things I was supposed to, filled myself with an insane amount of electrolytes because of this dang heat advisory, and jetlag still kind of in effect made me sleep like a baby.

The morning also went like clockwork, but I felt a little draggy. Normally, a Starbux coffee pod has me seeing sounds and hearing colors. Not so much. Thinking about it, I’d felt similarly the day before. Once we got to the race, I shook it off, threw down some more sugar, and got myself ready for the swim.

I think it was one of my best since Covid. I sighted well, stayed on feet when I could, passed when I couldn’t, and though it was a bit short (more like 400m), I cannot be displeased of an official time of 8:34 when I normally swim about 11+ minutes for 500m.

I jogged into transition and was pretty hasty… until my bike shoes went on. Lately, I’ve had some wacky cramping issues off the bike, and jogging the super long transition in bike shoes was not going to help things. Yet again, I ain’t mad at 2:26 for the longest walk in bike shoes ever.

We turned left on Weiss Ln, and I was going almost 30 mph without trying. On one hand, wheeeeee! On the other hand, gosh, I’m going to pay for that later. While I sure did, it wasn’t nearly as bad as expected. The course turned in and out of the direct headwind enough that I didn’t have the usual moments of despair. I did not enjoy part of the course that was open to traffic on a busy-ish street, and I feel like my lack of bike handling skills held me back today. Better than last race, though, at 41:02 for just over 12 miles.

Here’s where the wheels were in danger of falling off last time, so I walked my bike back to the rack. It sucked getting passed so much but I didn’t want to cramp. I took a very luxurious 4:41 in T2 but felt like all my parts were in proper working order heading out to run.

Luckily, we got some overcast and breezy moments at the start of the run. However, the wind made the slightly uphill first two miles feel more uphill. This is not my favorite run and my least favorite direction to run it in. However, I was able to run faster than my normal morning 5k jaunt and accelerate as I went. I kept passing people walking, dying in the heat, and thankful I was able to continue at my nice clip even if I wished it was faster. 29:56 for 3-ish miles (course was a little short) is respectable for the gross conditions.

All told, 1:26:42 is a pretty decent time. This is my 3rd best effort at this race, and I’ve done it every year since 2011 (except 2020 and 2021). In such a small field, I was eager to see if I placed. My age group killed me, I was 6th out of 6. Looking at any other women’s age group, I would have been 2nd at the worst. I would have actually even placed 2nd in Joel’s (40-44 men) age group. Bit of a *whomp whomp* but I’m still happy with my own race even if the fast 40-year-olds had to come swarm my age group. 🙂

Ultimately, last year this time I was limping through races. 2023 is so much better!

Better late then never to post a recap, eh?

Yet again, the day before felt oddly strange (the race previous was eight months removed!), but also very comfortable. A swim in quarry lake. Packet pickup. Half a Whole Foods sandwich and salad. Transition practice and packing it all up. Chicken, potato, salad for dinner. Trying to relax. Trying to sleep before the sun went down and failing miserably and having a crap night of sleep. Cursing the morning coming too soon, wondering why we do this while slugging down coffee trying to poop twenty times.

Y’know, the ush.

Once I got to the race venue, I may have spent more time this morning oogling the sunrise at Town Lake than focusing on the race to come. Good thing we got there in plenty of time to do both that and prep for the race with the usual transition setup and, you guessed it, trying to poop twenty more times.

However, it was all business once I leaped off the docks into the pristine and lovely (blehhhh) Ladybird Lake. The swim was as expected – crowded and gross – but I found a pretty good rhythm and actually found feet to follow much of the way. I placed highest here of the three sports, which is nuts, because I can count my pool swims this year on my fingers and my first lake swim since September was… the day before the race.

Ah well, muscle memory FTW. 17:55 for 750m, which was more like 825m on the garmin due to dodging and weaving.

I had a nice quick (for me) transition to the bike and started pedaling. The roads were super wet and while my bike fitness is pretty dang decent right now, my bike handling skills are not. I’ve taken one ride on Death Star outside since September, maybe you can see a trend here. I have been training regularly, sure, but race-specific prep? Not so much. I soft pedaled most of the first lap and gained a little more confidence on the second and started to accelerate… until it started to pour again. I backed off and decided to save my MOJO for the run.

My bike was 41:03, which was 18 mph exactly. Not great for me in a bubble, but considering the crowds, the slick conditions, and my lack of bike handling practice, it was just fine for that day.

When I dismounted, the calf that had been fine for months decided to threaten anarchy, so I walked my bike in, sat to change my shoes, and took 10 extra seconds to stretch. The second transition was a little slower than I’d like, but I wanted to not eff it up by trying to rush.

For some reason, the calf did not want to settle down. It kept growling at me through mile 1, and I switched my head quickly from, “oh no, not again” to remembering what to do to fix this. I ran a little bit more forward, taxing my quads, which thankfully felt rested after the “warmup” on the bike instead of thrashed like normal. I didn’t look at my watch and didn’t worry that I wasn’t pushing maximum effort. Whatever it was, it was. Then mile 1 ticked by at 10:06. That’s not bad. Actually, it’s way better than my normal 5k jaunt. In mile 2, things loosened up a bit more, and I was able to speed up just a little. Then, the last mile, I singled out Pink Betty Girl, who I had been following for a while, and made it a goal to pass her by the end. And I did. Even though the last mile had a big hill I ran it a full min/mile faster and I had a nice sprint to the finish.

The run was 29:24, 9:26/mile for 5k. It’s certainly not my fastest in a triathlon, but it ain’t too far away from the paces I was running in 2018 and 2019. I qualified for nationals rolling approximately that speed (in a smaller race).

My biggest goal was to race with joy or fire, and I feel like I made a fair effort at both! It’s been a long road back from the depths of 2020, and I’m not on form yet, but this is the first race since the pandemic hit where I’ve been proud of how I finished, not just that I limped over the finish line at all. My time/placement is nothing special (1:35:43, 17/38 AG), but I’m happy. And that’s what matters. I’m excited to see where the rest of the year brings, but at the very least, I’m pleased I can put forth an effort like this again.

I have been pouring much of my spare time towards goal #5, but I wanted to take a break from making those words to make these below.

Goal #1 – Weigh 178.0 lbs by the end of the month

Well, I did it once (on Thursday), but my average is still a bit above that.

It’s a bit slow going. I’ve had a few… indulgences. Sometimes you have to celebrate good news before you can share it (and probably be too busy) at Trulucks.

And then, you know when you have one of those days where you just can’t even? I had a few of those early in May. I managed to get my shit together pretty quickly, but I took two full days off workouts, didn’t track my food for three days for the first time since the cruise, and just kind of let myself be okay with not aggressively working towards my goals for just a few moments in time. It was enough to get back on track instead of starting a huge rebellion similar to 2020. And 2021. And early 2022.

Calorie Deficits: Week 1: ?? (I’m going to guess about 0, honestly) Week 2: 212 Week 3: -397

I haven’t been perfect this month, but I’ve been pretty good. And that’s way better than giving up. Things are still going in the right direction. This last week being a bit over is just a gentle nudge to me to stay the course.

#2 – Strength Over Stamina

Another place where I’ve been good but not perfect…. please refer to my garmin calendar.

Here’s some hurrahs:

• I’ve been quite consistent with my swimming, 750y in 14:30-ish minutes for 3 weeks in a row. Improving this isn’t even really in my top 10 things right now, so I’m just happy I’m in the water.
• Staying consistent with strength training 3x week. Seven months now, forever to go!
• FTP test done today, and survey says: 182W. My watts are finally higher than my lbs! 🙂 It was the first time doing the ramp test, I think I have some improvement left (5-10W max) just by knowing what to expect next time.
• I’ve done two bricks this month. Neither were magical (read: runs were 10 min/miles, one day was too hot/late and one day my legs felt crappy) but I am optimistic about what I might be able to do with a little race day magic (and caffeine).
• I’ve been pretty decent with recovery. I’m rolling/stretching 3-4x week and using the massage boots and ice almost every night. All the parts feel like they work most of the time and I know what to do about them when they don’t before it becomes a huge problem (and that’s proper recovery).
• Just running in general is a ‘yay’. It’s been really excellent this month. I tend to have to run just a few minutes after I’m out of bed and haven’t had the time to try a workout when my body and brain feel alive yet, but it feels like there’s good stuff in there if I did!

And the boooos:

• I haven’t ridden my TT bike outside again since the end of April and not sure I’ll get a chance before the race since it’s in a week.
• I also haven’t been swimming in open water since Kerrville last year. I will make sure I do this before the race since I need to see if my swim skin fits now. 🙂
• No practice tri (swim/bike/run) and I am pretty sure I have missed my chance to do this before the race.

#3 Not Just Ignoring My Surroundings

Here is one reason why I blog about my goals. I wrote some excuses about not being able to prioritze decluttering the bedroom, it feels too big, I can’t make myself do this with my precious little free time. And then I asserted I’d be happy with just organizing my jewelry box area and the drawers underneath it. Then, I realized I was about to have my weekly chat with my parents and I could totally multitask.

An hour and a half later, we’d caught up on the week, and that section is clean. I know I’m never going to have a lot of motivation to do this stuff, and if I wait for some mystical force to make me ready, I will be LONG DEAD before that happens. Sometimes, things just take doing.

I will now say that I’d like the next very small section (the rest of my jewelry and hair stuff) done by the end of the month. It may take the same amount of time or less.

#4 Relaxing Hobbies

• Painting: nope. I have been absolutely sucked into my novel trying to barrel towards a full first draft. I’m cool putting this one on pause until later on because of that.
• Blogging: here’s Brussels – and waiting on the camping blog until I edit those photos
• Photo editing: I’m currently in the middle of Day 4 of Paris, and I know I’ll finish that by the end of the month. I may pause before the Louvre on Day 5 as it has over 1000 pictures to sort through and hop over to something else for a while.
• I have played some guitar, but definitely not 3x week. It’s an afterthought, not a habit.
• Meditation – I’ve done it more days than I haven’t, but I’m thinking about 4x week. I think that’s where I’m settling now and just can’t bring myself to do it every morning like I used to.

#5 Write Stuff

I’ve spent almost every moment of free time on this that I can without being a complete antisocial a-hole (and maybe treading the line there the last weekend or two, sorry Joel!). I’m at 65k words and climbing, and I’m beginning to write what feels like the ending of book one. The last words in my draft are “F$%k. We’re running out of time” (yeah, the book is definitely PG-13 right now). I’m excited when I think about the story, but not when I read the words. In my guts, I know it will get there, but I need the crappy first draft done first. I need to know the shape before I can really mold the clay. So, I am racing my way laying out the story and will be SUPER excited to just noodle and noodle and noodle with the fiddly bits once I’m there. Then, I’ll have to set some boundaries on how much I do that before I let in a small audience of readers. I also haven’t done any of those exercises the writing books say to do, so I may do that too.

But first, I need to have the words down. I don’t think I’ll type “the end” before May 31, but I also don’t think I’ll be too far off.

So, yet again, goals for the rest of the month, short as it may be:

• Track every day and try to bring myself back to 1200 + exercise calories consistently to see how close to 178.0 I can get.
• In this order: open water swim at least once (must), ride my tri-bike outside (would be nice), do a practice tri (highly unlikely), then go see what I can do at my first race in a long time where I feel like maybe I can actually kind of… race.
• Clean out my jewelry/hair area of the vanity.
• Play more guitar, at least a few times before the end of the month.
• Keep plugging away at the book towards a finished rough draft.

Ten days left, let’s go!

Our day in Brussels was an afterthought, but an afterthought I’m very very glad we had!

When we looked at train trips from Koln to Paris, many of them stopped in Brussels. Joel started looking for an itinerary that gave us a few hours to explore. I decided to take it even further and got us a very nice hotel to stay in so we wouldn’t have to lug our luggage around. The train trip was extremely uneventful in the best way possible, and we were in Brussels mid-morning. Our hotel let us stash our luggage for a few hours, and we went to go play!

We wandered around a little bit, and then found a cute little Italian place to eat, complete with a house cat that lived upstairs. We split a delicious salami and olive pizza and a pretty rainbow salad for lunch. This may have been my favorite salami pizza of the trip. And considering I had many contenders for favorite salami pizza during this trip, I have no idea why I may have gained weight during it… it’s a mystery.

Once we were fueled for the day, I led us to the Grand Place, which was something the internet said we couldn’t miss. Well, sure, you definitely can’t miss this!

After gawking at the plaza for an appropriate amount of time, we wandered back through the streets and noted a multitude of adorable waffle shops. Some were…. themed.

Why so many phalli? Well, it’s in hommage to THIS GUY, the Manneken Pis. He’s the town mascot.

After some more wandering though pristine streets with beautiful buildings, we found a very nice garden and relaxed here for a few minutes.

The backpacks grew heavier and check in time was near, so we headed back to the Warwick and spent a bit of time in the room. I worked for a bit, then I took a nice, long, relaxing bath in our tub.

After this much-needed recharge, we headed back out in search of food and drink. The brew pub kitty corner to the town’s mascot called our name, and one of the three outdoor tables were unoccupied. It was kismet!

Since we had an excellent seat, Joel resolved to have a sampler of each of the taps. I tasted a few and then stuck to my favorites. We couldn’t pass up a Belgian waffle in Belgium, so I retrieved late-afternoon snack for us- we passed on the phallic variety and instead partook of one with caramel, chocolate, and whipped cream.

It was just as delicious as it looked. After two weeks in Germany drinking very light beers, the ABV in Belgium snuck up on us. Around sunset, we started the search for something to soak up all the beverages.

We were looking to try a restaurant Joel picked out, but they were reservation-only with just one spot available hours later. The need for food was imminent, so we wandered back to the Grand Place to watch the last vestiges of light disappear behind the impressive buildings.

Right there was a restaurant with an expansive menu that looked yummy, so we found a table.

We started with a charcuterie board, and then split a beef stew and fish and chips.

Because, Europe, both actually came with the chips as a side dish. Beef stew for proof.

The view did not suck. After a leisurely dinner enjoying the perfect weather and gorgeous scenery, we retired to our hotel and crashed HARD.

…because we did that, we forgot to buy our train ticket to Paris the night before. This resulted in us waking up, realizing we needed to get going NAOW because the only train trip option remaining left in 30 minutes. There was bit of drama with stops and missed connections when we should have had a very quick straight shot. What could have taken 2 hours took almost 8.

Was it worth it for one night in Brussels? You bet your Grand Place it was!

I blinked and now it’s gonna be May tomorrow.

So, yeah, time to recap April and talk about what May be. And no, I will never get sick of stupid puns, just relax and go along for the ride.

#1 Weigh 180.2 lbs by the end of the month

Well, sort of. I had not one, but TWO weights in the 170s this month, so that was neat! And I was 180.1 today. But… trend weight still sez I’m 182.0. So, not quite.

I’m still moving in the right direction, so that’s all that matters. April was a bit of a challenge to navigate – we had a four-day camping trip and multiple gluttonous celebratory meals/food occasions with people – so I’m quite pleased the line continues its downward trend. My average in early October was around 194 lbs, so I’ve lost a solid 12 lbs in 7 months. 1.75 lbs per month is super snail-y pace but it definitely beats the alternative!

I’m now in a place where the majority of my closet fits, I can put on my skinny jeans (though they still have a bit of a muffin top), I don’t feel my joints sob in agony when I try to run, and I look like me again – not this weird, marshmellow-y person that’s somehow wearing my face. I was heavier than this by a few lbs (though better trained, for sure) when I qualified for nationals in 2018. If I’m being honest with myself about where I was in March 2020, I’m about 5-7 lbs away from where I started the pandemic (records say 175-177 even if my brain had me closer to 170). While I have further goals, losing all the takeout/ramen/pity-drinking weight is the first big benchmark I want to hit. Eyes on that prize first. If I can not screw it up, I’ll be there in the next few months.

I will continue by doing the same thing that I have been doing – 1200 calories + activity, tracking my food daily – as it’s working. My dance card doesn’t seem to be too full of food-related festivities in May, so I’m hoping to get another month of solid progress. My goal is what it always is; to lose 1 lb of trendweight per week. This means, by the end of May, I will weigh 178.0 and that’s heckin’ exciting!

#2 Strength Over Stamina

My weird and wonderful body has worked out the hip issue that sidelined my running much of March. My right hip hurt because my left hip forgot how to activate itself (?). I seem to have retrained it to remember how to hip again. Then, the niggles morphed into a weird arch pain that was okay while running but a bit uncomfortable otherwise the rest of the day, which seemed to be exacerbated by too much sandal wear (?), and also seems to have sorted itself with some targeted icing and wearing shoes (?). All the question marks because these are stupid reasons that shouldn’t make a difference (same sandals I always wear, same hip I’ve had for 44 years). However, I’ll take the glass half full attitude of all’s well that ends well because I’m back to running 5ks three times per week at or below the previously agreed upon pace and not limping afterwards.

This is what the garmin looks like these days. I ain’t mad at 7-8 hours a week right now (remember this skips all my walks, which is now down to probably 2h/week but still nice low-impact activity).

Things to also note:

• I have figured out my window to swim (Monday afternoons, when I am not out of town) and my pace has magically dropped to about 1:55/100y. Not speedy compared to pre-pandemic but a heck of a lot better than anything since. I just need to keep consistent.
• The three times a week strength training streak continues through April. Six solid months of lifting and I can definitely tell in numbers progress (15 lb dumbells became 20, then 25, now 30), and also in how I look and feel (read: the joints not groaning when I run). I will maintain that these are the most important workouts of my week, maybe forever and ever, but at least through 2023.
• I owe myself an FTP test next week. I got a new garmin, so it’s a new test, and I expect the number to change wildly from the last one and use that as the new baseline. Joel’s was much higher than before. I look forward to it.
• Four of five weekends, we rode bikes outside. Three were road bike outings that extended our comfort zone distance a bit (20-30 miles) and this week we had our inaugural outing on our racing bikes which was also outside the comfort zone until I remembered how to ride aero not on the trainer.
• Two bricks done. While I may be lighter than I was in 2018 when I qualified for nationals, I’m not sure I can hold that 9 min/mile pace in the 5ks like I did then (I did a mile and a half and then two miles and gosh, I dunno if I have more of those at that speed in me). I suppose we will see when I’m fully caffeinated with people chasing me.

Pretty stoked in April to have hit most of what I wanted in this category. So, in May, I will:

• Continue with 3x week strength training as my most important box to check
• One brick per week, and one of them needs to be a practice tri with swim, bike, and run
• Ride my tri-bike outside at least one more time before the race
• Swim once a week, and two of those need to be… open water (dun dun dun)
• Maintain the 7-8 hours a week of activity with 5x30mins or more of swim, bike, or run
• Prioritize recovery better. I need to stretch and roll at least 3x week. Those have fallen off in favor of just sitting on an ice pack in the massage boots lately.
• Race with joy. It’s a very large one, so no podium goals, I just want to be happy with my performance after.

#3 Ignoring My Surroundings

Note the title, it’s indicative of April’s progress. My focus has been elsewhere this month. And that’s okay as long as it doesn’t happen every month. I’m going to repeat the goal but also change tactics a bit.

• First priority goal: declutter the master bathroom and vanity area. The “spend 5 minutes a day” thing just didn’t work out. I’m going to take an hour a week to do this instead.
• Second priority: help Joel with the pool and organize the craft/work/dining room whenever he gets motivated to do it.

While we’ve slowed here, I am really happy at our progress thus far. It’s nice to have a guest room that doesn’t have crap all over, an organized and fully usable workout room, and a pleasant and decluttered office I’m actually happy to walk into each day I WFH. When I whine about precious free time spent on the herculean task of the master bedroom, I need to remember how much calmer I’ll feel when there’s not piles of stuff everywhere.

#4 Relaxing Hobbies

First up – let’s talk meditation. I was so, so, so good about this earlier in the year. I know I wake up a better me when I do it first thing. But, I don’t know why, but lately I just get BOOOORED doing it and am excited to get out of bed and DO STUFFS. If I’m being honest, I’m probably down to 3x week. Better than nothing, but still. I need to make it a priority each morning and figure out a backup plan (when do I meditate if I don’t do it first thing?).

The rest of the fun things are appropriately being enjoyed. I am picking up my guitar a few times a week (WFH days as a break or the end of my day works out really well!) and actually started learning a new song (!) for the first time in a year. I blogged about Koln. I finished the minis I wanted to finish in time. While I’m not *quite* done with day 2 of Paris pictures, I’m really far along. I went camping and it was nice to be in the urban woods for 4 days. Fun was had. Much enjoy. Wow.

For May, I would like to:

• Touch a paintbrush to a canvas for the first time in forever and relocate the existing ones to their new home instead of in the corner of the kitchen.
• Edit through middle of Day 5 of Paris (the Louvre). This should get me halfway through what’s left of the 2022 EU trip (before I go back again!)
• Continue WFH guitar breaks, aiming to play 3x week and make sure the new song is in my “known” archives by the end of the month
• Blog on our day in Brussels last year and our camping trip last month

And finally… #5 Write Stuff

I continue to plug away consistently at the book. I’m at 51.5k words again (which doesn’t sound like much progress from mid-month, but it is, I shall explain). I’m at this point with my current draft:

…but from what I hear from one who does it professionally, that’s progress. And I get it. I’m no longer just super stoked that I’m making coherent words on a page, I’m actually able to critically analyze what I’m writing. And it’s all crap right now! Why? Because I’m powering through this part of the D&D campaign where I just didn’t know or really like the character I was playing and it’s all just super awkward. It will get better, little Fork, don’t worry!

Allllso, last week upon some solid feedback, I switched the POV character from third to first person with a quick few hours edit of the draft which knocked a few thousand words off the count. It takes away about 5% of the charm of awkwardly trying to write a gender-neutral character without using many pronouns but solves 95% of the problems of trying to write a gender-neutral character without using many pronouns. Me, my, and I are so easy and comfortable. It’s the right call. But I need to do a better edit now that I have them at my disposal (not just replacing Fork or the bard or they with me, my, and I, but also reworking the language to fit it better).

I have realized the way out is through. Instead of getting hung up on the deficiencies of the current draft, I need to ignore all that noise and power through to the end of the book, even if I hate the words right now. Once I have a full picture of what Fork Files Volume 1 actually IS, I can shape it into coherence. I have the character development sorted, I know where it goes, I know where it ends, I know why it goes where it goes and why it ends how it ends and I know how to set the stage for book 2. This is exciting stuff, folks, to finally have a map and a plan instead of just putting words on a page and hoping they make a story.

I also have a writing buddy, who’s doing the same thing, and we’re trading feedback and war stories about writing, which is awesome and motivating.

My goal in May is to continue continuing. I don’t think I get to the end next month, but unless my progress slows to a crawl, I could be really close. The 12+ hours of travelling each way in June I’m looking at? That is CHOICE writing time and on the way home could be the moment I type THE END (well, not really, since I’ll pick up the story right after in book 2, but y’know what I mean).

So, to wrap up – in May, I may (just kidding, I WILL, this is the year of MOMENTUM, after all):

• Weigh 178.0 lbs by May 31
• Get ready for racing with bricks, riding my tri bike outside, swimming in the lake (and once a week), and one more FTP test.
• Declutter the master bathroom and vanity
• Prioritize recovery (full list 3x week) and meditation (5x week)
• Start a painting!
• Blog on Brussels and Camping
• Continue guitar breaks and Paris photos
• Keep plugging away on my book, with the end in sight this month

Looks like it May be a good month to me 🙂