Adjusted Reality

Hello, superfriends. It’s been quite a few weeks since I’ve penned anything here, so let’s fix that, shall we?

Let’s refer back to this part of my last post:

Work has been extra special this month. My logic brain isn’t at full capacity right now, and I keep getting mad about stuff I should be dealing with fine. I actually had to call off sick one day because my body and brain were just kind of shutting down and noping out – headache, nausea, could barely look at a screen. I spent that whole weekend nose in a book and sleeping the whole time. I felt much better after three days of that, but I didn’t realize how burnt out I was until that point and how much all that rest was really just barely enough to get me back to the bare minimum to function.

While, yeah, I’m stressed for reasons, I also have handled stress MUCH better than I have been as of the last 4-6 months, and had a few other symptoms (huge issues with temperature control, my cycle being… well, irregular is pretty generous), so it was time to see the doctor and guess what? I’m just getting old and need some hormone help. I started taking them a week ago and holy wow, my mood, memory, and patience turned 180 degrees almost overnight. The gnawing anxiety edge I’d been feeling pretty consistently just dissolved. Joel said the lack of my stabby attitude was palpable. All of a sudden, a light switch flipped and I could deal again.

The only side effect is that I’m feeling pretty bloaty and the scale is definitely showing it – the last few days I’ve gained like 4 lbs overnight and feel like a water weenie. I’m trying not to freak out because it’s probably just going to take some time to normalize. I am going to continue to track everything, but I realize the next month or so might not go the way I want, even if I do all the right things. I definitely won’t give up, because that’s not an option.

Also, to add insult to injury about my oldness, I had my annual eye exam and I’m now just on the edge of needing progressive lenses (read: bifocals). Way to make me feel even more ancient, universe.

So, for now, I’m focusing on what I can control, which is the fact that my brain is back to normal, happy, peaceful standards, and my body is handling training really well right now. I’ve been back to the gym the last two weeks twice a week to visit the Squat Witch, and plan to keep doing Mondays and Fridays for the foreseeable future (with a home workout in between to maintain the 3x week of lifting). I’ve also been able to run 3x week again for the last month and have been able to increase my distance. After spending almost a full year capped at the 5k distance, between the consistency there and also in the weight room, I’m tolerating some more miles really well. I’m running up to 4 miles for my short runs and my long runs have topped out at 5 miles. And I feel great! I plan to run 10k on Thanskgiving!

As you may guess there is a race goal with it, if things continue to go along at current course and speed. I’d like to snag a medal that says 13.1 on it in 2024, running the whole way. No PRs, I’d just like to participate. I have no further ulterior motives like a half ironman, marathon, etc – just some motivation to increase my long run from 30 minutes to about 2 hours. But I’m not signing up for anything until I get closer. It needs to be enjoyable and fun, not a slog.

I’ve also continued to walk everywhere. Need something from the grocery store? It’s only a 2-mile round trip walk. Wanna go out to dinner? Time to meander for an hour or two on the way there and back (restaurant food MAYYYY have not helped my goals, but it’s been damn nice, and I’ve been trying to keep it reasonable). So far in the eighteen days of November, I’ve walked 28 miles (beating my run total of 27!). Fall being fall is amazing right now with delicious weather for tromping around outside. I’m loving every minute of it. I’ll get back to cycling and swimming soon, but for now, I’m just enjoying being on my own two feet.

To recenter here on goals #1 (weigh less) and #2 (do sporty things):

• Keep tracking, keep active with the runs, walks, and lifting, and don’t freak out if the scale takes a bit to get on board
• Try to get to the pool a few times this month. Mostly for the hot tub after and to remember how to swim
• Ride bikes when it sounds fun (adventures) or when the weather doesn’t cooperate (trainer)

Regarding #3 (Not Ignoring My Surroundings) I have not cleaned out a damn thing. However, this Thanksgiving holiday week I have resolved to clean out my dresser and my nightstand. Baby steps. Maybe if I get inspired start looking up bathroom remodel stuff but that sounds like so 2024 it’s not funny.

On, #4 (Relaxing Hobbies) – this took a bit of a pause when my old laptop died, the damn thing stopped charging. So, I need to find a way to recover my photos and reinstall my photo editing software on this shiny new one and I can start catching up on photo editing and vacation blogging and such.

However, I finished painting a thing! It’s hanging in my office at work. I’m not sure it will stay there but it was super nice to finish something. And now, my goal, this week of Thanksgiving, is to start another canvas, whatever it may be. In the glow of accomplishment before the start of the next holds such gravity; you just always have to begin again so you don’t get stuck there.

We have also agreed to (and have already today) spend a bunch of time immersing ourselves in Baulder’s Gate this week. It’s fun to play a game with Joel (not against Joel) again. I’m back in a Bloodbowl league, and I’m not practicing at all, but it’s still a regularly scheduled reason to play a game per week. I need to remember to play more games in general, so I can remember why I do what I do for work!

And, finally – #5 (Write a Book). When I wrote this goal a year ago, I didn’t really believe it would happen. Now, I’ve officially finished my second pass draft for book #1 that I am pretty happy with, and have sent to not one, not two, but FOUR readers, and I am awaiting feedback. Awaiting is an incorrect term – I’m 16k words into the first draft of book 2 while my readers take their time.

I’m pretty stoked I was able to do this all in one year! If any goal exceeded expectations – it was this one!

Thinking back to a year ago, I had just began to run again, had a nascent 3x week lifting streak, and was just finding some life balance. It’s been a journey, and not one I expected quite the way it panned out, but this 2023 Year of Momentum has in most aspects lived up to it’s name. As I was about to write myself goals for the next few weeks, yeah, I need to clean out some stuff and kickstart a few minor things that have fallen off, but truly, I just need to focus and continue what I’m doing right now.