Adjusted Reality

“Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.” – Mark Twain

Month: January 2015 Page 1 of 2

January Wrap Up

Quick recap of January even though we have 1.5 more days…


Overall, January was a challenging month from many angles.  Allergies hit me hard.  We had weeks at a time where it was grey and drizzly (great for running, but bad for anything else).  Work had a few twists and turns (understatement), and I fought some fear at the unknown.

However, it was a really great month in terms of training.  I cooked some great new recipes.  I got on board with some new habits.  It was a bit of a shaky start, but I think 2015 has some real promise, using January as it’s foundation.


Did not jump into either race I was considering (Rogue 30k or 3M half).  Trying to save money.  If I do the same cycle next year, I will probably aim to do the Rogue 30k as a supported, faster, long run.  I really want to do 3M but we’ll see where my priorities lie with racing next year.  Either way, didn’t race, and I’m happy with that.



Long runs: got a 15 miler on the treadmill, failed a long run the week after (3.5, 2.5 on two tries that weekend, was just exhausted mentally and physically), 21+ miler the next weekend after some rest, and hoping for another long run this weekend (pegging 17-20 depending on weather, how I feel, etc).

Run streak: check.  5 weeks straight.  I learned a lot of things from doing this, but I’ll save that for another post.

Volume: Looking at 40, 33, 39, and low to mid 40s this week depending on long run.  This was one long run missed, and a rest week kind of squished between two weeks (Saturday – Friday instead of Monday – Sunday simply due to listening to my body’s exhaustion).  Overall, I’m already at a huge monthly mileage PR for January even before this weekend’s long run, so I’m stoked.

Swim: Twice per week.  Much better than the once per week goal.  Zliten doing a swim streak helped.  Getting in the water weekly even for just a short swim does great things both for my run recovery and my swim paces, and I’d like to keep this up.

Stretching/Strength/Recovery: Stretching and recovery, I’ve done well.  Strength…eh… I started well but have slacked off.  Baby steps.  I’ll keep this one on the docket for next month.

Cycling: not even 100 miles this month, and all of those were easy trainer miles.  But that’s ok.  I ran over 1.5 times more miles this month than I biked.  That never happens.  Fun!


Tracking: I did well at the beginning of the month but fell off.  I think I need to take a different approach in February.

No booze January: this was a major fail.  With the shit that went on this month, this was the equivalent of trying to cut out sugar completely over the holidays or trying to quit smoking during finals week.  We made it 11 days, which actually helped accomplish one of the primary objectives of lowering our tolerance, but we had drinks 4 times this month.  We also found that the days we drank before we called it off completely – we REALLY DRANK.  So my friends, I’ll continue to do moderation here.  I didn’t see any positives here for all the negatives.  That’s why we try new things and we don’t always keep with them.

Food quality: better than December, certainly, but still working my way back to squeaky clean.

I ended up doing a lot of fluctuating this month and not weighing regularly.  Lowest was 175.2 and highest was 183.2.  Yeah.  I’m hoping to stabilize more next month.


Work Stuff:

I got my promotion, and I know what my 2015 looks like, so now the waiting game is over and it’s time for action.  And so I shall act.

I went through two phases this month.  Early on, I was in a pit of worry/depression/indifference, which if I was a perfect person, I would have still made forward progress, but I didn’t.  Can’t dwell.  Then, once the smoke cleared, I had days, like today, where I have wall to wall meetings.

It’s all excuses though.  I need to continue to push on myself to play when I have downtime.

Life Stuff:

My car is now clean.  Hurrah!

I haven’t made progress on my closet, but I think the problem is that since I’m not at my normal weight, it’s hard to make judgements on what to get rid of since not as much looks good right now.

I’ve done a *little* in the kitchen, but not enough. Tupperware still resides on the butcher block (thought less).

While I can attribute a lot of this to waking up with allergies in the middle of the night, I’ve rocked through well over 1000 pages of reading this month (maybe closer to 2000).  We’ve played some Mass Effect, and I’ve played some Clash of Clans.  Not a bad month for leisure time.

All in all, some good goals, some good progress was made, though I was overly ambitious in some areas.  Baby steps.  More on February soon!

Sometimes it all comes into focus

Saturday morning (ok, at like 11:40 but still technically before noon, OK) I set out to decide my fate Feb 28th.

If it was another failed long run, either due to motivation or my toe or shin or whatever else the hell has gone wrong lately, I was going to cut my losses and change down to the half.  While I feel like 5 weeks of some speedwork would probably get me into shape to at least fight for a PR, which seemed like a noble enough cause and a lot of fun to pursue, it also felt like giving up.  So I gave little bunny foo foo one more chance to stop scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head do a marathon training run.


I spent 10 mins spinning out my legs on the trainer first, and then headed out into the sunshine.  There would be no day but today.  Perfect temps in the 50s and sunny, and a low allergy count left me no excuses.  Today, it was really only me who could get in my way.  I took off, slow but deliberately trying to avoid the gremlin in my head (and legs) that had plagued a lot of recent runs.

I wore my garmin simply because it’s hard to keep track of all the loops and twists and turns to get in a long run that ventures no more than 2 miles from my house.  And also, Zliten asked me to so he could analyze the data and live vicariously through me.  By the way, he takes his first run this week after his bear fight 3 months ago.  I’m both excited for him and know he’s going to need a huge hug after because that first run back SUCKS.  So does the second, and the third.  Somewhere around the teens it starts feeling like you actually own your own legs again.

The first mile was very stiff and slow.  While this streaking has taught me a lot, I still haven’t learned how to run a super slow mile on the treadmill, and Friday’s mile still lingered in my legs a bit.  When the first few mile splits popped up, my first instinct was “ewwww” then “nope, that’s ok” because I didn’t care if I was running like a turtle today if it helped me get my miles in.  I didn’t have my HR monitor on, but I’m sure the average would have been in the 130s.  Not at one point was I breathing hard.  This was pure frolicking in the sunshine, friends.

The miles kept ticking off slowly (around 11:40 average) and I ducked back into the house a few times to drop off clothing and potty and refill bottles and get gels and remember aquaphor before it was too late (yay minimal chafing).  Finally around 12, I decided I had best head away from the house before it got hard and tempting to stop and I decided to take on the key route.  I also got the number 22 in my head, because 10 more miles from that point didn’t sound too bad.

This route embodies three of my least favorite things – going uphill, lots of turns, and uneven roads.  My pace slowed even more for miles 15-18 working my way around the teeth of the key.  It got hard, but I didn’t walk, I didn’t stop, I just kept plodding.  I may have been really, really happy when the light went red as I got up to it and got a quickie rest, but crossing that street twice was my only stopping point in the last 9.5 miles.

I kept willing myself away from the house, so I wouldn’t stop prematurely, but soon I ticked over to 20 miles, my bottle was empty, and I was starting to feel the “I’m almost running a marathon” fatigue begin to nip at my legs, so I turned home and finished at the end of my block and hit the stop button on my garmin at 21.3 miles.  Much more of a random distance than I usually do, but I just decided I was done and that was enough.

I walked a quarter mile to cool down, spun 10 mins on the bike (yessss… this did wonders for my legs), and then took my victory chips and coconut water into the bathroom for the most painful ice bath I’ve ever taken.  I was convinced my feet had frostbite by the end.  Beer, couch, and delivery sandwiches ended the day rightly.  #lessboozejanuary not #noboozejanuary in full effect.

I’ve realized some things.

I’ve got this huge wide base now.  The kind of base where I can knock out this long run without much ramp up and also without dying.  I may have holed up on the couch for a few hours and asked Zliten to bring me everything, but today I’m up cooking breakfast and batchcooking food for the week and plan to run and maybe swim or bike later.  I’ve got some soreness in my legs, but nothing out of the ordinary.

In five weeks, I’m going to run a marathon.  I’m not sure how fast or slow I’m going to go, but I’m going to toe the line with the intention to enjoy the journey through these 26.2 miles first, and race it second.  Between allergies and work stuff and unpredictable weather and some lack of motivation to trudge/frolick for multiple hours solo, this has not been my most consistent training block, except in the fact that I have ran every day, and that has saved my ass.

I’d like to finish with something like 4:59:xx or better, but if not, I’ll coast in whenever I feel like it.  Yesterday’s pace would have clocked me around 5:07.  The pressure is off.  I’ve learned so much useful stuff from this training block that it seems like the only way to celebrate it is with 26.2 miles whichever way they come.

Sometimes, you simply have to cast an ultimatum into the universe, or at yourself, and see where the dust settles.  Last week, I was having a lot of mental torment because I went ahead and cast two of those thoughts out there – one with the marathon, and one with work.  Obviously, one was more important and life-altering than the other, but both came back with the same result.  Stay the course.  Hang in there.  Continue on.

And continue on I shall.  Pressure off.  Running on.



I wrote out this really emo whiny post, and then I got busy.  I feel a little less like listening to Death Cab for Cutie and putting on eyeliner, but I feel like I should chronicle where I’m at.


I got a promotion at work, with a nice title and salary bump.  I had been playing the “what if” game for a while, but that solidified the 2015 plan is to be Senior Producer over multiple projects.  Hence, things got busy as of Tuesday when that got made official.

We’re dealing with a lot of change, just when we got to the point where we were a comfortable, well oiled machine.  It sucks, and it took some time to get adjusted, but I think we’re moving on with life and finding the new normal.

I’m finding a weird part of this marathon training slump.  I’ve never been this consistent with mileage, and I’m not finding any issues with motivating to get a run in every day, but the idea of running for more than two hours kinda repulses me.  I was able to knock out a 15 mile run on the treadmill (I know… it wasn’t even as terrible as I thought it would be).  However, last week, I had no runs over 7 miles, but I had 33 miles total.  Starting last Friday, I felt super flat, like when I started running, I just felt… deflated.


I forced myself to do a longer run (7 miles) Wednesday, and the first half I felt like a half-full balloon, but the second half was awesome.  Same with yesterday’s run.  I’m hoping this is the upswing.

The fact is, I really only have 4 weeks left to long run before taper.  This means I need to hit 4/4 runs, or I really should bust down to the half.  This was an emotional touchy subject with me last weekend, but I’ve come full circle and accepting that it is what it is.  Tomorrow, I’ll set out to run and see what comes from it.  From that, I’ll decide if I continue to pursue the marathon or start playing the “get in half marathon PR shape” game.

I’m ending the running streak Jan 31st (5 weeks).  I had considered going longer, but I’m not.  I’ve learned that the world does not have to align just so for me to go for a fucking run, which I think sometimes I would wait for in the past.  Going forward, I’d like to run most days.  Getting in 5-6 miles at lunch is tops.  I think getting in random miles on the treadmill or outside when I have a few minutes around the house really adds up.  But, I also think I really need a cross training day the day before a long run (15+), though I don’t think an easy mile or 3 is a bad idea the day after.  I also think that a better goal going forward may be run, bike, swim or weights/stretch every day.  Something something.

My swim is improving like woah without even trying.  I’m rocking the sub-2:00/100m pace without even concentrating on it (get in, swim while thinking about other stuff and listening to music, steady pace).  Can I swim this marathon instead?


I am itching to be a triathlete again.  I want hard swim sets, biking outside, harder trainer rides, and for the lake to be warm enough already for fucks sake.  I can’t wait to really start the training to kick ass at the short stuff this spring.

No booze January was a bust.  With everything going on at work, I made it 11 days.  It’s Jan 23rd and I’ve had drinks twice and probably will on Saturday.  I’ve learned some things about myself and trying to a) not have drinks b) not eat crappy and c) not go out and spend money does not work at the same time.  I have not been quite as unhappy and bored as I remember the last two weekends at home, sober, and worrying about work/life stuff.  I had thought perhaps it would make me more productive, but it didn’t.  I had no fun and didn’t like it.


Less booze January did have some benefits though.  In that 11 days, my tolerance went way down, which is great.  It’s been a long time since a single beer did anything but make me burp.  Also, breaking the established habits of “I always have beer on this day” makes it to be a celebration/commiseration when it happens, not just because it’s Thursday.

The scale is all over the place (175 one day, 182 the next).  I have done a shitty job at tracking food, and honestly, I have no idea what my goal is with that because I’ve not yet found a calorie count that’s reasonable where I steadily lose weight.  I can definitely tell I feel fat lately because my instagram is all random pictures of other things, and not selfies.  Workin’ on it.

I’m about 50/50 with my goals for January.  They were probably a bit ambitious, so I’m pretty happy with that.

And, that’s that.  Heading off to run my requisite one mile, stretch and foam roll and maybe some core, and then rest up for tomorrow’s run.  Happy Friday, y’all!

I’m not that kind of person.

Recently, I stepped back on the scale after the holidays.  I’m not going to lie and say it was pretty, but 180.8 is not the worst I’ve ever been, and I needed some time to relax the food rules in December, and it’s a starting point.  Onward and downward.  At least, I’m trying to keep this attitude, but Zliten can attest to the fact I’ve had some mini-tantrums about it.  Rational brain does not always triumph over the feels, sadly.

Then, I think about where I’ve been.  I write a similar post most Januarys, and perhaps I should just link those and be done with it, but every year I gain a different perspective of what has happened over these last 8 years (gosh, has it been that long?) since I just barely fit in size 24 jeans and made that fateful new years resolution.

This year I had an epiphany on a run, as I am wont to do now that I rarely listen to music outdoors.  I really should stop saying this phrase:

“I am not the kind of person who…”

Because I end up breaking the rules I set by saying that often.  Year by year, I break down a lot of these barriers.  If I stayed “not the kind of person who” of 2007, I’d be a very very very different person.  For example…

2007:  I’m not the kind of person who…

…is fit and active.  I started the year here, at 265 lbs…


…and ended here.  At 210 lbs I still had a long way to go.


However, the difference was night and day.  I went from a walk around my apartment complex taking my breath away to 4-5 days of cardio and 3 days of weights being just part of the routine.  Tracking my food (which I started using Spark People in September) helped me limit my intake enough to steadily lose weight.

2008: I’m not the kind of person who…

…weighs less than 200 lbs as an adult.  I hit “onederland” (199) right before my 29th birthday in February.  Best birthday present EVER.

And, I continued to ride the momentum all the way down to 160 by the end of the year.


…is a runner.   I don’t know why, but this year I decided I wanted to try and run a mile, something I hadn’t done since 8th grade and certainly not something I ever enjoyed doing before.  I almost passed out after, but I ran that mile in about 12 minutes – a far cry from my best of 7:50 of my childhood, but I kept at it and could run 5-6 miles at a time by the end of the year.

2009: I’m not the kind of person who…

…runs races.  I did my first 5k in Februray and the bug bit me HARD.  I was sure I would be the oldest, heaviest, and slowest one there.


Not so much.  In fact, I followed someone that could be my grandpa the whole race and couldn’t catch him, but I placed decently well in my age group (top half, IIRC).  That year, I completed 3 5ks, a 10k, a half marathon, and a 5 miler.  Zliten joined me for one of the 5ks and that sparked a desire to do triathlon at some point in the future.

…wants a froofy white traditional wedding dress.


Funny that, when you feel like you actually look gorgeous in your dress, most little girls revert back to wanting to feel like a princess.  Who knew?

2010: I’m not the kind of person who…

…is into triathlons.  After a disappointing second half marathon when I got sick, I thought about the idea of training for a marathon, and those long runs over the hot summer sounded terrible.  However, I wanted to sufficiently large goal to tackle, so I signed up for my first sprint and olympic triathlon at the same time.


After battling the terror of open water swimming, and the most painful 4 hours and 4 minutes of my racing life (and coming in something like 3rd to last), I was so hooked.

…can be the leader of a team.  Well, it took a lot of guts for me to ask for the promotion when I wasn’t sure I was up to it, and even more blood, sweat, and tears to constantly do things that professionally scared me (read: talking on a microphone in front of the company, leading meetings, etc), but it was an exhausting and enthralling year getting my legs as a Producer.

2011: I’m not the kind of person who…

…would lose weight and gain some back again.  I hit my low of 150 one day in April of 2009, and from there, it slowly crept back on, and this was the year I started to really notice and couldn’t stop it.  My body found it’s happy set point around 175 and it still doesn’t seem to want to budge without drastic measures.

However, I’m also not the kind of person that lets myself get so frustrated about that and give up and regain back ALL the weight.  175 and fit is so much better than 265 and without hope.


…would have a husband that’s into racing.  Well, that changed quickly once he got a taste of triathlons this year.  For someone who hated running and swimming, he sure did like racing tris.  I wasn’t one to question.

2012: I’m not the kind of person who…

…wants to really do long distance races.


True, I have fondness for the short stuff, but I completed a metric century, a half ironman, and a marathon.  And I didn’t hate any of them.  Kind of the opposite.

…races every other weekend.


We did 24 races in 12 months born out of a silly idea we had while drinking one night, and while it was TOO MUCH RACING, it was fun to conquer a huge big goal like that and stay healthy enough to start and finish that many races in a year.

2013: I’m not really the kind of person who…

…doesn’t smoke.  I had gradually whittled down my consumption to only when drinking and switched to the organic kind (which sounds like bullshit even to me, but I could SO feel the difference in comparison) but letting go of it completely was hard.  But I smoked my last cigarette at a 2012 NYE party and haven’t had once since.

DISCLAIMER: I still use an e-cig while drinking sometimes.  I’ve done my homework.  The juice I use is not the one with all the harmful crap in it that’s all over the news.  Nicotine is a stimulant similar to caffeine in terms of effect and danger without all the other crap in it.  The delivery system is essentially like a rescue inhaler.  I won’t say it has no risks but as an experiment of one, I see a WORLD of difference between that and cigs.


…has the balls to scuba dive.  It sounded awesome and terrifying at the same time, but after some conversations with Zliten about our upcoming vacation, which included a trip to Bonaire, which is one of the most beautiful places to dive in the world, we spent valentines day in class and on my 33rd birthday, I got certified.


So worth it.  I still have trouble getting down sometimes with touchy ears, but it just takes patience.  I’ve now seen 40-80 feet underwater in Aruba, Bonaire, Key Largo, Cozumel, and the Bahamas.  It’s worth it to see this stuff up close.

…does something dumb enough to get injured enough to DNS races.  I now have a few rules: a) try not to get that drunk b) don’t get that drunk ever on cruises c) don’t get that drunk ever on heels.


I would definitely say I have a healthy respect for what it takes to come back from an injury and will do all I can to not get there again either through being an idiot while drunk or being an idiot with overuse.

2014: I’m not really the kind of person who…

…places in my age group.  Well, I usually don’t.  But as of this year, I’d racked up a women’s OA win at the indoor tri, a 1st place at a 5k, a 2nd place at a half marathon, and finally placed 3rd at Gatorbait, my first AG placement in a tri.  I’m finally at the point where I’m at least considering fighting for 3rd at small races, which is fun.


…could give up grains or batch cook.  This was the second year of batch cooking and I feel like I hit my stride.  I stopped attempting the super fancy stuff (tikka masala from scratch is phenomenal, but takes so long) and went with easier stuff that didn’t take all day.


I don’t want to say what I did was low carb starting in August, but I ditched the rice, pasta, and bread, and turned to fruit, corn, and potatoes as carb fuel.  I wanted to hate it, but I ended up finding it kept my stomach more even, helped my triathlon race nutrition, and took some weight off (before I went on vacation and holidays and fucked it up).


…volunteers at races.  We’d done it once or twice, but this year, we did much more.  It’s a lot of fun being part of a triathlon while not always racing it.  Plus, cool tee shirts and stuff!

In 2015, I wonder…

Currently, I’m not the kind of person who keeps an uncluttered house.  But I’d really like to be, if I can find a way to do it without giving myself an ulcer about it.

Currently, I’m not the kind of person who runs every day.  But for 17 days so far, I have been and I’m kind of loving it.

Who knows what kind of person I’m not – but I will be by the end of THIS year?

What kind of person are you not?

The Triathlete Rules

The triathlete rules – in no particular order…

1. If you swim outside in the winter, you always have to emphasize things in this order: 1) the feels like temp, 2) pace/distance, and less importantly 3) how heated the pool is.


2. Everyone eats junk food on the bike.  I don’t care if everything else you put in your mouth is organic free range natural fair trade pristine food.  During a multi-hour bike ride, you will house a coke, a slurpee, oreos, doritos, pb pretzels, or cupcakes, and they will be the best damn things you’ve ever tasted.

3. The dizziness at the end of the race isn’t the beginnings of heatstroke, it’s explosions of how awesome you are.  But your awesome probably needs an ice bath.

4. Post long run/race, it goes water, coconut water or gatorade, chips + beer, then real food.  Don’t fuck with the program.

5. Garmins are stopped while in the bathroom, waiting to cross the street, waiting for a train, bending down to tie a shoe, adjusting goggles, or anything else that stops your forward progress.  For accuracy of pace, of course.

6. The way to get into an outdoor pool in the winter is the patented roll and push.  Sit on the edge, tuck and roll into the water, push off the side, and start swimming.  Saves that awful non-moving getting into the water time where you’re freezing your ass off.


7.  Beer is a recovery drink.  It’s not the only recovery drink, but it is A recovery drink.  To suggest otherwise would be sacrilege.

8.  Medals are to be worn the rest of the day of the race no matter the location.  Particularly long/challenging/triumphant finish race medals can come out when drinking for the next month or so, but not out of the house.  When really drunk, it’s appropriate to wear all the medals from the last year, but also not out of the house.


9. Race tees are to be only tried on before the race, you can’t actually wear them until you cross the finish line.

10. Anyone who smirks at you in your tri gear/cycle kit/running gear is just jealous.

11. Bodily functions are a totally valid and appropriate subject matter.  Also, having as many near misses as a potty training toddler is, if not a subject of pride, at least a perfectly normal and natural subject.

12. Do not question our need for a fourth or fifth meal, a snack the size of a meal, or ordering two entrees at dinner.  It’s called peak training weeks, and no one else’s metabolism (save a teenage boy) cannot comprehend how large the pit in our stomachs (or our calorie deficit) is right now.


13. Also, the answer to post long workout food is almost always Mexican because chips and salsa before the meal.  Don’t judge us for the amount of salt we’re pouring on them.  If not Mexican, the answer to “do you want any appetizers” is YES.  Do not dick around with a hangry triathlete and meal plans.  There is no waiting for an hour for whatever. We may literally bite your head off (or at least steal your bag and root around in it for anything edible).

14. I earned the right to be lazy by being very unlazy earlier and running, biking, swimming and/or lifting heavy things in some combination.  So that’s why my house looks like this or I can’t go to your thing that starts at 9 at night far away from my couch.

15. Sunrise is wakey time and sunset is sleepy time in the summer.  Winter… well, let’s just say they make headlamps and treadmills and trainers for a reason.


16. Running on Thanksgiving is mandatory, race or not.  Also, if you have a bike or swim or day off planned on National Running Day, you run at least a mile anyway, because, holiday.

17. It’s always called a brick in training, even if it takes you 20 minutes of futzing to put up the bike and pee and change and drink gatorade before you start running.

18. The day you leave your flip flops in transition instead of by the swim exit is when you graduate from tri newbie to triathlete.

19. The day you leave your bike shoes on the bike and do a flying mount/dismount is when you graduate from triathlete to veteran triathlete.  (I hope to be a veteran triathlete someday…)

20. Do not be rude to the volunteers, even if they’re clueless about things.  They’ve been told their specific job and MAYBE some general tips.  They are not paid, they’re not getting anything out of this besides maybe a tee shirt and some breakfast tacos.  They are moms, husbands, children, friends, injured athletes, or nice people that just want to come out and make your race happen.  Smile and say thank you whenever you can (even if your face is twisted in pain and it sounds mostly like “ak ouuu”).


21.  If you are wearing a garmin, thou shall not quit unless the last digit is a 0 or a 5.  5.62 mile runs are bullshit and you must at LEAST get to 5.65 if you can’t be arsed to get to 5.7 or (better yet) 6.0.  That being said, if there are two or more garmins present, you always calibrate to faster pace (see above’s 20 mile run).

22. If I cannot see the finish line, I am not almost there.  Stop your fucking lying.

23. Be honest with your estimates during a self seeded swim start.  I should not be swimming over people who started 5 minutes before me. (Same with corrals and running races – if you’re walking in the first mile, you probably shouldn’t be in the 9-10 minute mile pace group)

24. There is no porta potty guilt.  Everyone waits in line so everyone can take as long as they need to do what they have to do.  If I have to take 5 minutes to poop, it’s only so I don’t come back and clog up the line again.  Also, see rule 11.

25. If you pass someone on a bike, say on your left.  If you pass them a few times, say something funny because they are now officially your bike buddy until a) you drop them or b) they drop you.  Also, if you pass someone, don’t be a dick and immediately slow down.

2014-09-27 16.24.12

26. Any other swim stroke besides freestyle is bullshit.  And that is not because we can’t swim any of the rest of them.

27. Swim caps are hot.  Swim caps should either be a) from races or b) funny.  Buying a plain one is incomprehensible.  If you are out of swim caps, it’s obvious you need to sign up for a race, stat!

28. It’s totally more about the engine than the bike… until you have the cash for an upgrade, and then it’s so totally about the bike.

29. Wearing a race tee shirt is an automatic invitation for strangers to talk to you about that race.


30. Yes, I need all these 100 various different things in my transition bag to be a triathlete.  Shut up and don’t discuss it further.

31.  You’re not dieting, or trying to fit into your skinny jeans in January.  You’re trying to improve your power to weight ratio.

32.  Food and booze on race day has no calories.

33.  Open water swimming is preferable to pool swimming, unless there are lake monsters (aka, lots of nature).

34. If you run, bike, and swim, you’re staying fit or in training.  After you complete your first triathlon, you are a triathlete.  You’re in the club.  Doesn’t matter how slow or fast or short or long it was.  However, we may poke fun at you if it was indoor or had a pool swim and tell you to try a REAL one.  And we may heckle you if it’s been more than a year because we don’t understand how someone could go that long without a hit off the good stuff (racing).

What’s your rule?

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