Adjusted Reality

Sometimes the minutes go slow…

(smiling because I’m NOT on the torture device…)

…especially when they’re on the Stairmaster. If you ever wanted to make 10 minutes last forever, there you go. But the months go fast. I can’t believe we’re over halfway through 2024 and almost halfway through July! I definitely am not quite exactly where I planned to be 6 months ago but also, the view ain’t too bad, so I’ll call it even.

How about them sporty things?

I’d say with my renewed goals (running, walking, weights as priority, biking and swimming on the back burner) I did pretty great!

• Running: 40 miles/10 hours
• Walking: 60 miles/21.5 hours
• Weights: 12 sessions/6.5 hours
• Other Cardio: 6 sessions/1.5 hours (mostly the dreaded stairmaster…)
• Biking: once/7.5 miles (in between runs for triple bricks)
• Swimming: hahahhahaah ok, moving on.

This month I’m giving myself one more of these run/hike/walk/lift/stairmaster at the gym months before I do a short sprint triathlon training block and race Kerrville. I signed up last night. When I reframed it as not the thing I need to do all year long but the thing I was going to do from mid-August through the end of September as a training block to mix things up a little bit, it sounded fun instead of tedious. So, we’re going to get out for a swim a week, do some outdoor rides and bricks, and go see what the 45-49 age group has in store.

After the race, I plan to return to run/hike/walk/lift/stairmaster, pushing miles on foot to get stronger and racing road and trail races over the fall and winter. Which I definitely am. We repeated the same course as the race last month whilst camping and my climbing pace on the big hill that almost killed me was much better. I could keep up with Joel. Screw you/thank you Stairmaster, my frienemy.

Speaking of frienemy, shall I introduce you to the scale? Spoiler alert, July isn’t looking much better either.

Insert my inane whining about how it’s hard and age 45 feels like it upped the degree of difficulty to lose weight and its unfair I burn 3000 extra calories a week and there’s no way I shouldn’t be seeing better progress with how I normally eat. And then I realize that I’m tracking food days later (right now I’m 5 days behind, oops) with probably significant levels of error to the point where it’s not worth doing the “add the calories up” thing I’ve done in months past. Hot pockets have become a normal breakfast food, we’re taking a bit of a break from prepared healthy meals so there’s been more random frozen and air fryer food even if I have been able to keep takeout and restaurant meals to a minimum and many other sins and failings in my life right now. So, I’ll stay true to my word and not be pissed I didn’t lose weight because I didn’t try really hard.

(scenes from a random Wednesday off when it was cooler and rainy last month)

So, this month, I want to eat better quality foods that make me feel good. Moar veggies. Whole grains and stick-to-your-ribs carbs even if it doesn’t seem like it means anything. Vary my proteins – I’m on all chicken all the time pretty much rn, so I want to eat more seafood and find ways that I can get a little more lean beef in my diet since Joel isn’t eating it but once a week anymore. All in all, sort of half-assing it intentionally and doing the best I can to at least not gain weight.

Adulting… yeah. Adulting didn’t happen except SOME of the box pile in the garage. I did manage to do a little closet cleanout to help unearth the pile o stuff on the side of Joel’s new office, but I definitely didn’t do the painting and hardware thing I wanted to do and I just don’t have high hopes for it this month either. For some reason (the reason is probably the heat!), I’m much less productive here in the summer.

July, I did/will do some other things. I finally got all my financial stuff in one place and confirmed I’m still able to retire at 55. 9 years and 8 months to go! We planned and booked trips and things and the rest of the year looks like:

• Vermont in August. Let’s go hike somewhere cooler and gorgeous!
• PAX in Seattle and quick trip to Sacramento to visit the aunt in law in September
• Kerrville Triathlon end of September
• (planned) Great Springs Trail Half Marathon October 12
• (planned) McKinney Falls Camping? November
• (planned) Wild Hare 25k Trail Race November 15
• Carribean Cruise December

Busy/fun/exciting stuff!

Fun stuff is going well. I finished my second revision pass on my book, Joel read it, and I now have feedback to incorporate. I’ve shared with a few more people too, but since most people don’t read multiple books per week on a good week like we do, I’m sure it will take a bit to get more. The goal is to finish the feedback this month and then next month start on… book 3!

I finished the Seattle photos, I finished the Arch photos, and now I decided since I’m going to work on the trip I just took (Krause Springs) and see if I can get that done by the time I’m off to the next adventure (not likely).

So, like, second half of the month.

• Eat good food, track stuff even if its later, don’t gain weight
• 3xweek weights, run, hike, walk, torture device (stairmaster)
• Krause Springs photo editing
• Incorporate book feedback and prepare for book 3
• Don’t let the turkeys get me down
• Get ready to go climb mountains!

Sounds fun, let’s go.

It’s no surprise to anyone who’s been reading this blog I’ve been in a bit of a rut.

I mean, it’s not all bad. I’m running, I’m hiking, I’m training strength regularly and upping weights. Sometimes, I get on my bike when there’s not another better option. Logging 8-12 hours a week of activity isn’t shabby especially when I can scroll back to 2020-2022 and see my average at 3-5. I’m not fast at anything right now, but I feel pretty fit when I can go run 4-5 miles on a random Tuesday if the weather isn’t trying to kill me with oppressive heat and go hike for 3-4 hours every other weekend and still walk the next day. In the five weeks around May, I went ~133 miles and only about 8 of those were cycling, so MUCH ambulation at varying paces.

I’ve logged my food every day, to some level of accuracy. I haven’t been mainlining deep fried bacon wrapped cheese sticks dipped in ranch (sometimes, a cheese stick or two in the air fryer with yogurt dressing… but you know what I mean) or other disgusting food in mass quantities. I’m just not being as diligent as I have been in the past. I’m not losing weight, but I’m not gaining. Admittedly, I’m not trying really hard. I want to want to try really hard, but if I’m being honest, I’m more motivated to whine about it than do it. And that’s not fun for anyone involved.

Work is being work right now. I’ve oscillated in my seventeen years of employment with my current company between feeling true gratitude someone would pay me for the cool things I get to do and leaving each day not sure if I want to come back for the next. I’m somewhere in the middle right now. This is okay – it’s actually quite excellent for work/life balance after quite a few years being megamaniacal about all the things. However, I do kind of live for being ALL IN on something in my life and this isn’t it right now. It feels like that recovery period after the Ironman, where you can’t fathom how you were riding bikes for 100+ miles and doing 20 mile runs even though you were totally doing that ish every weekend before the race. Now, it’s difficult enough to do a light 30-minute jog and you’re still giving your bike the side-eye as it sits alone in the corner of your room, where it’s been since the race weeks ago.

Looking at my life from the outside, one would see me as a highly successful, motivated, well-rounded and really productive person. And it’s not that I’m not – but none of these things have the SPARK right now. They’re not THE THING that wakes me up in the morning, excited to go make progress on some new, exciting, scary, challenging goal. I need at least one of those in my life or I feel adrift.

So, I went and walked/ran in the woods on June 8th for over 5 hours in 90+ degree heat, completing a half-marathon distance in like 4.5 hours (5.25 hours with stops) with 1400 feet of ascent. And this is just the beginning, hopefully.

I’ve always been a little ultramarathon-curious, but it’s never really come up to the top of the bucket list as it’s – in theory – the antithesis to the training I did. I’ve been focused all these years on getting faster and playing to my strengths (flat races in cool weather). Heat ruins my mood really quickly. I suck at running hills. Up is hard and demoralizing for me. I am not the most graceful with uneven surfaces, and that’s putting it kindly. Earlier in my life, the idea of going for a 3 hour walk in the heat ON PURPOSE FOR FUN sounded terrible (still does, but I’m choosing the suck so it feels… better?). Running trails would leave me frustrated with the slow time/pace so I stuck to roads to soothe my little ego.

So, it’s time to attack some of my weaknesses and pursue something new. Time to suck at something new for a while so I can get better at it. I’d like to progress towards traveling 50 kilometers on my own two feet in one day. I want to do the Grand Canyon Rim to Rim in one day. And I have no qualms personifying this meme…

I would be perfectly happy to wander in nature for 10+ hours while gorging on whatever food is available (chips now fuel my long workouts, not gels) and collect my medal at the end or limp to the North Lodge and die, or whatever,

That takes care of the training goal. It’s a long hill to climb (literally!), something new to learn and sink my teeth into. New gear, new races, DFL finishes will be with pride as I learn to be a badass in the wilderness. It will be really fun and challenging and difficult, but I’m looking forward to figuring out how to not die on the ascents (and tiptoe down the descents) and be more capable and confident running on rocks and managing all the craziness that comes along with long days again (without having to deal with all the swimming and biking gear). I still have love for triathlon (maybe just… long distance relationship status right now) and have some hope this will shore up some of my weaknesses there as well. And I’m guessing this will all translate to some really nice gains once it gets cooler and I do some road running races as well.

Even if not, I’m going to try something new that seems like it will fit pretty well with my lifestyle right now. I need a different type of pain cave right now. Let’s effing go.

Now, there’s the scale. I ended April at 183.7. I also ended May at 183.7. I think I may need to shift my focus here as well. I still need to track, otherwise I get… forgive the pun… way off track. But I think I need to give myself the month, hell, maybe even the summer, and stop half-assed trying to lose weight. Either I need to focus on it or not. And I’ve proven to myself that it’s not in the cards right now, for whatever reason. So, this month, my goal is simply not to gain weight and try to enjoy healthy food again (read: ALL THE VEGGIES).

I’ve kinda stopped the constant meal delivery of Snap and Factor because we were just going UGH at them. I have more than a few in the freezer because they were about to expire. I want to focus on varying my diet, making some delicious yummy food that’s not the same 10 meals over and over, and getting a lot of veggies, lean protein, and good carbs that fill me up and make me happy. This week we have some grilled al pastor for tacos and enchiladas and grilled chicken for pitas, wraps, salads, or whatever. Hopefully, that fixes that rut.

In terms of hobbies, the only one I’m really trying to push on is my book, since I’m still really motivated there. I have finished my edit pass, and ready to read it, I’m just giving it a little space first so I can be more critical. After that, I think it’s time to start book 3 (maybe next month?). I also woke up in the middle of the night at one point and put together some notes (let’s not call it an outline yet) for the whole series, so at least dream me isn’t in a rut and trying to be productive!

And, adulting gets to go last. I adulted enough in April/early May with the bathroom. Mostly everything is put back and organized. I haven’t touched paint or hardware but maybe I can get that done this month. We did get Joel squeezed into the guest room and a nice new adjustable desk, and we’ll probably keep it there for now. It’s been pretty cool to be able to leave the gaming stuff up on the dining room table and we may play some longer games (a turn or two a night) because of it! Also, the pool is open and lovely. So, mostly done what I meant to do.

June is already 1/3 done, but here’s what I’d like to do with the rest of it:

• Keep the activity up and not be super picky on what I’m doing, just that I’m doing it. Weights 3x week. Try for at least 2 runs per week. Triple brick workouts sometimes because I can stand the heat better in 1-2 mile chunks. Lots of walks. Long hikes every other weekend or so. We’ll get more serious about this closer to the next race (end of Sept if I race a triathlon, mid-October if I skip it) but for now, move my arse and lift heavy things.
• Track my food but not be as limiting (or at least pretend to try to be limiting). Use a little meal delivery as some easy options but get back to cooking healthy food atop piles of veggies like I used to eat more often.
• Read my book, revise one more time based on my/Joel’s feedback, and start book 3!
• Finish Seattle editing (yeah, my softball didn’t even happen) and start the Arch
• Hardware/paint on doors, and break down the box pile in the garage for adulting

I think it sounds doable! Let’s see what happens, shall we?

My partner in crime, Joel, recently had a change in medication he takes at night. The instructions say, “don’t take within 2 hours of eating and don’t eat for 1 hour after taking it”.

Apparently, no one follows this rule. He questioned his doctor about it, and she said she just stopped mentioning it because no one follows directions. He then asked if it made the medication more effective, and she said yes. So, he (and I, most nights) now no longer eat snacks after dinner besides a small piece of dark chocolate.

Doesn’t make a huge difference for me, calories are calories and count the same at 9pm as they do at 9am, IMO, but a huge change for someone who doesn’t. He started making more weight loss progress all of a sudden and noted that his garmin weight graph for the year was starting to look like an inverted batman, like this steep drop off with a few peaks and valleys but overall heading in the right direction. Can I be thrilled for him and also similarly frustrated for me? Oh, to be a dude and able to eat +500 calories per day… sigh…

I also failed to remember that my progress seems to always follow about 3 weeks behind my habits. While I am not looking at a full inverse batman myself, I’m actually getting my shit together. But also losing my shit a little bit. Maybe let’s go reverse order and talk about the things that are making me crazy first.

Adulting:

We are currently now 3 weeks into our bathroom remodel. The full contents of two bathrooms and a large vanity are strewn all over the house, and somehow, we can’t find anything anywhere. The lovely people who did all the work are done except for some shelves on the work order that didn’t get put up (Monday!), but it’s a huge relief after fifteen workdays of contractors in the house, loud noises to the point I could barely hear meetings some days, bad smells but thankfully not to the point we couldn’t sleep, and playing the “which bathroom can I use” game (and sometimes, especially last week, the answer was none and I did the camping alternative of peeing behind the bush in the yard). I don’t mean to complain as I realize it’s a privilege to be able to do this at all, and especially the full-service version where they are doing everything for us, but holy heck, I am more than ready to have my happy little sanctuary back to the place where it’s all mine (and Joel’s) and things are in the right places.

It’s definitely caused us to be short tempered, easily frustrated, demotivated, and just plain cranky. Week 2 was peak pissypants party time for me, last week was Joel’s. At least we took turns so we could talk each other down, but the spoons, they went rather quickly these weeks. Week 2, I logged an absolute GOOSE EGG in terms of workouts besides walking. I mean, I still logged 5 hours/12.5 miles of walking, so it wasn’t nothing, but zero bikes, runs, swims, weights, or elliptical. That hasn’t happened since Covid. I wasn’t sick. I wasn’t injured. I was just so far at the end of my rope I couldn’t manage to do anything but amble. But at least I did that.

The end is in sight, though. My first steamy jacuzzi tub (hey, we had the wiring from the 1968 jacuzzi tub, we may as well use it) was divine. It is super amazing not to be grossed out by mildew and crumbling tile when I shower in the morning and instead smile at my very nice new bathroom. All that’s really left is to put everything back together. And that starts today.

I will also report taxes are done, we paid less than expected, and our consulted noted that we shouldn’t need to pay quarterly or do anything different than withhold a little more. So we shall.

Getting ready for pool time is already in progress. The pump did an oopsie and reverted all our hard work back to brown pondwater. Something in there is broken, we need to buy a new some-hundred-dollar-doo-dad and for now have resorted to chlorine instead of saltwater so we don’t hatch millions of mosquitos from our backyard.

I knew we’d be very much over responsible things in May, so I already kind of pre-planned a month off. In May we will:

• Put away all the things from the bathrooms back in the bathrooms but take one more pass on better organization
• Repaint all the doors in the house while we have the nice white paint out and replace hardware and hinges.
• Get the pool working on salt again so we can get in it
• Joel can start planning for his office move but that’s not yet

Weight Loss Goals:

Here’s how it’s not so bad. While I didn’t fully make up for March’s indiscretions, I did reverse the trend.

My trend weight today is 183.7, which is just about where it was at my lowest in March before the bloatening started. I feel like I’m behind, because I was making such great progress before, but I suppose in my goal to lost 12 lbs this year, I’m only 0.3 behind (my start was 187.4, I’m now at 183.7). So, instead of trying to set some crazy goal in May, I’m simply going to aim to catch up for the year. I’d like to have a 182.4 by the May 31st. Extra progress is appreciated, but not required.

Sporty Things:

After finishing the Cap10k, I realized I was without any other race plans this year and without a whole lot of enthusiasm. I’m stuck in this place where:

• I am not enthused about triathlon this year. It’s not to say I won’t do one late season, but I’m just not enthused about any of my options early season. The Memorial Day race is crowded and inconvenient. Pflugerville quality has declined over the years. And I’m just not motivated to go crush on my TT bike or swim. And I’m also not in a place where I just feel like participating.
• I am REALLY enjoying walks and hikes. I mean, I spent 19 hours going 50 miles this month.
• Walks are truly the best way to lose weight (if you can walk enough and eat the proper amount of calories). When I walk, I don’t get extra hungry. Run, bike, swim? NOM NOM.
• I am going to need motivation here soon. It’s so pleasant to go for a walk from October to about April/May. Over the summer it sucks. And I tend to pull back on my overall activity because of it.

Couple this with my discovery of the Texas Trail Series. I’ve always been a little ultra-marathon curious, and this definitely isn’t that (yet?) but I think I want to spend some time this year walking (and who knows, maybe running some? I’m still running! I just don’t want to run a whole 13 miles on a trail yet.) for a morning on a gorgeous trail with aid stations and a party at the end. This is probably the first thing that’s sounded fun to me.

So, we’re planning to sign up for the one in June, and see how it goes and decide whether it’s a one and done and we should just go back to doing Sprints like other years, or whether this is a new adventure. Or maybe even both!

For May, I am splitting the difference.

• Weights 3x week. It’s okay I took a week off, but that shouldn’t happen again for a while.
• I would like to swim a few times. I want at least one to be in the lake. Even if I don’t triathlon this year swimming makes me happy and stretches my body out in ways nothing else does.
• Running 2-3x week. I keep trying to convince myself I want to try to claw back to my pre-pandemic 5k time of sub-27 mins, but I know the pain to get there and not sure I’m ready mentally and I’m not sure as it’s getting hot is the best time either unless I go train inside, which also sounds BLEHHHH.
• Biking 1-2x week. Mostly for activity/calories. IDK why because I used to absolutely <3 bikes, but I just can’t get myself excited about going fast or going far. We’ll roll with it for now (or not roll with it? hah) and maybe I’ll be back to bike adventures and chasing people down someday.
• MOST IMPORTANTLY: make a weekly schedule instead of “do some stuff”. If I don’t follow it 100% whatever but I do much better with a plan.

Notice I’m not talking about the hip. 🙂 A week of reset was actually quite nice and it seems to be *knock on wood* happy and well-adjusted again.

And finally… Fun Stuff

After a nice long push to get the first pass edit done in March… I am going a lot more slowly now. Did I need a break? Maybe. Did I have fewer spoons the last few weeks to do something like this rather than something mindless? Also maybe. However, I’m almost exactly 50% of the way through now and the latest material (which I spent more time on) seems to be going quicker than the first ten chapters (which I think I edited very very quickly). I’m excited to get through this and give it another read. Then? Not sure if I give readers a chance to read and move onto book 3 or noodle on this one more. Now that I have the goal to write the whole story before I publish, I know I’ll have a final edit pass over the whole enchilada, so I’m less concerned with it being perfect, while also simultaneously wanting to go tear book 1 apart again. 🙂 Goal for May is to finish the edit pass, read it, have Joel read it, and incorporate our feedbacks.

My final Paris pictures are edited and public. <3 That was such a lovely, exhausting, wonderful bucket list trip. Next up? Seattle from Sept 2023. I only have a few hundred photos there so it’s a softball goal for May, which is perfect!

So, May. Let’s be better than April, shall we?

• Walk alllll the miles, weights 3x week, short runs 2-3x week, and the rest, que sera, sera
• Keep doing all the things to summon my own inverse batman on the scale
• Put all the things in the bathroom back, paint some doors, change some hardware
• Finish edit pass #2 and read and fix things
• Edit Seattle Photos
• Enjoy camping next week and prioritize time to relax

I ran a 10k. It’s been a minute (or something like 10 years) since I did a standalone 10k not after a bike.

Here’s what I wrote on social media that day:

I signed up for the Cap10k this year one for a few reasons. One, I’ve never done it. That’s crazy! Two, I wanted motivation to keep running longer than 5k after the Austin Half Marathon and to push myself to run a little faster.

Not much of that training worked out. After Covid in January, I slowed down to keep my heart rate lower while training. This adjusted my running gait. Doing that knocked things out of alignment, and I developed cranky hip syndrome (this is the technical term for it, for sure), which forced me to stay at that slower (11:30-12 min miles) pace during runs since then.

After some chiropractor intervention, things are much better, and earlier this week I pulled my flat 5k pace back under 11-minute mile pace. Progress! So, I showed up this morning hopeful but ready for a jog if running faster didn’t pan out. Ten-ish minutes per mile felt challenging but doable on the hills, so I pushed myself to stay there even if it sucked running some of those steep hills. Halfway through, I got 1h5 mins in my head as my goal time, but I had to speed up.

Thankfully, the second half had fewer ascents, but GOSH my legs were thraaaashed running up 15th and Enfield hills. I stuck with it and tried to go to the happy pain place. I was close to that 1h5m so I gave it what I had the last half mile or so downhill and came in at 1h5 and 15 seconds. (10:19 pace) Top 40% overall, top third female, top quarter masters, top quarter age group. This race is truly against myself and my own goals since it’s so large but nice to see I’m not doing so terribly compared to the masses.

I don’t hate this at all. Y’all, I’m not a hill runner, up or down, and this is honestly faster than I’ve run even on flat ground for a while. It’s a nice sign that I am ready to push myself this year to do some faster runs because they’re in there, just waiting for me to get over the fact that it’s EASY to go out and run easy. Time to find the pain cave again. Maybe that’s the big scary that I need right now.

Unfortunately, the next day (why is it never the same day?) I was limping around on my hip, and it’s persisted all week. I visited the chiropractor yesterday, and she put me back in alignment but I’m still some days away from running. I also spent the week doing that pouting thing I do, sabotaging myself by eating too much, kinda slacking on workouts, and not doing all my recovery. I also felt draggy as hell for almost the whole week. Garmin said I was sleeping pretty well, but I just felt like my batteries weren’t charging up until literally today.

It’s not been all that bad – I’m keeping up with strength training, I’ve swam both weeks, cycling is happening, and 8-9 logged hours of activity (with walks) doesn’t suck. But, it’s not enough for how I’m eating and drinking, I suppose.

So, I can either be part of the problem, or part of the solution. For the last month or two I think I’ve been part of the problem. Time to be part of the solution.

So, reminders to myself:

• The gym is half a mile away from the house. You have a home gym and bike trainer. You are either home or work from home 5 days out of the 7 and the other two, you’re home at a decent hour. No excuses not to swim, bike, do weights, or do the arc trainer.
• Recovery items like the roller do not function as recovery when you give it the side eye and slink past it
• Stretching only works when you do it, not just think about it, dreading it for more than the five minutes it would take to do it.
• These things still exist after 5pm/after work, even if you wish them and will them not to.

And an additional one:

• Your book isn’t going to get edited by procrastinating it by writing blogs/doing whatever

I hadn’t touched it in 2 weeks before this weekend. This isn’t normal. I made such a solid effort to get to the end of the first draft and the first editing pass, I should probably give myself a little grace here. But, I’ll admit, I’ve been less than motivated to pick it back up, finding other things to do instead. In what I’ve learned with writing, motivation doesn’t always just appear when you ask it to, sometimes you have to force the issue. I need to remember that sometimes the Muse comes to you, and sometimes you have to summon her.

The good news is that I made great strides this weekend and am about 1/3rd done with the second edit pass. I think I’m in a hurry because I want to read my draft again and share it with Joel (and that’s a great sign!). I just need to commit to a chapter, or just some pages, every time I sit down with any spoons left in my drawer after work.

It’s not all rubbish, I promise. Here are some good things I/we have accomplished in the first half of April

• Taxes are done, and we got confirmation we don’t really need to pay quarterly/hire a CPA like we thought and we owed less (and have a plan to hopefully owe MUCH less next year).
• Bathroom remodel starts Monday. This will indeed throw my life into chaos for a bit, which is why I’m reminding myself of all the reasons this doesn’t need to disrupt my fitness.
• The pool is on its way from brown to clean! So, like full scale adulting this April is a go!
• Paris pictures are very much in process. Perhaps it’s a little procrastination of book editing, but it would take an act of god for me to not finish the last 50 or so this month! Now I need to figure out what’s next.
• We are really close to booking our end of year trip to Bonaire! Joel got cleared by his doc (not that there were questions but apparently for men over 45 they can ask for a doctor note) and we’re excited to go for another week of diving after we make sure we get our gear serviced.
• Our plans for late summer are up in the air dependent on work travel, there are probably different options depending on where the origin point is, but we’re considering options there too.
• Debating between camping and Mexico next month. I know, wild variation. Camping was the plan, but we have been over a year without diving so we need to log a dive before Bonaire or they will make us take a refresher course. Less likely when shore diving in Cozumel. 🙂

So, I just need to get back into the habits I had made earlier this year and make the numbers go down.

• Raising my activity levels/daily calorie burn a little. No preference on how it happens (walk, bike, elliptical, swim, run when I can run again), but it needs to happen.
• Eat less than 1200 calories a day + activity and THATS IT. Not “sorta kinda oops too much today oh well”. Do this by logging your food as you eat it, not 2 days later and then acting surprised.
• For the rest of April, back to aggressive recovery. Every day I will: stretch, roll, boots, ice, and do the silly crab walk things. I can go back to two things per day once I’m reliably running again with no pain.
• Go back to doing my meditation at least 4-5 days a week not “oops I did it once this week”.

This blog space is repetitive. I say the same things over and over because they’re easy to say and difficult to follow and re-affirming them in text is a way to get back on track. It’s easy to fall off good habits with a “treat yo self” attitude once or twice and then you realize it’s been two weeks and the trendweight, she’s going up. So, I need to do the right things. I’d like the numbers to go down. I’d like to not be limping around. I’d like to have a second pass readable draft. I just need to remind myself to be part of the solution for these things instead of the problem.

And, not always in the good way.

Not that it wasn’t a very nice month full of very nice things, but a lot of those things had a lot of calories in them and made trendweight very sad. It’s not like this is an anomaly but still, I start every March going, “why yes, I am going to celebrate our birthdays as a day of celebration and not a month, and this will keep me going towards my goals.”

And then…

…I’m over my calories pretty much every day (by a significant margin) until March 17ish. Ah well. What goes up also must come down (or I say it must), so we are back to clean living and abiding by the numbers, not just what I feel like.

• Week 1 (Feb 26): 1249 OVER
• Week 2 (Mar 4): 715 OVER
• Week 3 (Mar 11): 1153 OVER
• Week 4 (Mar 18): 1397 UNDER
• Week 4 (Mar 25): 1 OVER (lets call it a tie)

It usually takes 2-3 weeks of habit to show on the scale, so I’m guessing the weight will start going down – should I continue the trend of not being a jerk with food – this week or next. Hooray! April should be back to normal, not alllll the celebrating, so goals here are same as they ever were – log all foods, stay under calories for the week, and be no more than 182.4 lbs on April 30th (let’s see if we can make up a little bit for a lost March).

#2 Running and Stuff

I keep thinking my hip issue has cleared up, and then it comes back. Right now, it’s feeling great but I keep saying this and then a few days later… BOOM. I really would like this to get resolved so I can get back to running faster and more often. However, my on-again-off-again relationship with running means my enthusiasm for triathlon has resumed a bit. Cycling (indoors and watching Bloodbowl games) is a thing in my life again and with Joel out of town last week, I managed to get to the pool TWICE in March and once this evening.

Things I have learned:

• If I am to ever swim regularly, it is probably going to just need to be on my own initiative/schedule, and let Joel find his times separately. We just never find the time during the day that works for us to go together and lack the enthusiasm at night. Monday night seems to be a magical exception so we will continue to try for weights n swim Mondayz.
• I can absolutely bribe myself to do 30-60 mins of biking with the promise of watching a game or two and some sort of candy snack every 5 mins (like an M&M).
• I think I need to figure out how to change my stride/pace back to run like I did pre-Covid. This issue developed after I got back to running and intentionally slowed down 1 min/mile to keep my heart rate lower. Now, the stupid hip is keeping me at that pace :P. Maybe I just need to force myself run faster? Who knows?

Check out the difference between the first half of the month and the second, especially that week I was on my own.

Now, remember, it doesn’t log walks, I walked 64 miles this month (24 hours) and that’s not nothing. Check those activity times – 8-12 hours a week – I’m walking A LOT. But besides that:

• 1100 yd swimmming (22 mins)
• 47 miles cycling (3 hours)
• 16.2 miles running (3 hours)
• 4 sessions elliptical (2hours22min)
• 11 sessions weight training (5h37min)

So, that means I walked a little over 2 miles per day and did 30 mins of other tracked activity. That’s honestly pretty great and healthy… just not for the amount of food I ate in March. So, I need to either ramp this up a little or ramp that down. Probably a wee bit of both.

In April my goals are:

• 3x week weights, non-negotiable, at the gym as often as possible, up the weights at home if I can’t.
• Swim once a week. Just friggin’ do it. Yes, it’s not an efficient use of my time as a workout due to prep time and waiting for a lane sometimes and all the rest of it. Yes, I’m going to do it anyway.
• Bike at least once outdoors and see if that can resume some enthusiasm with that particular sport.
• Run a 10k on April 7 and then do whatever running makes the most sense to rehab the hip (none, short, fast, treadmill, sandwiched with walking, bricks, etc etc etc)

#3 Adulting

This month we shall do the taxes and get the things for/clean out the things to remodel the bathrooms. All this stuff has to happen in April, no getting out of it, and I’m sure by the end of the remodel I will not want to do any dang thing else for about a month. Only exception is prepping the pool for the summer. We’ll do that. So, yeah, garage and fridge – maybe in June?

#4 Fun Stuff

Everything has truly taken a backseat to Book 2’s completion and first editing pass. And I did it! Kinda. I have two “notes” left (find a good place to add a specific scene/conversation and make the ending better). I believe it’s currently readable as a first draft, but obviously needs some improvement. I spent more time in the second half of the book on my first pass edit noodling over word choices (did it need it more or did I just have more patience? I’m not sure). I did deliver Joel a plane draft at midnight before his morning flight the next day and said “don’t read the last two chapters”. He only read the first 5 chapters and is kinda now waiting on me to give him the go ahead for a full read. I’m stalling. In April, I want to get a full and complete grammar/word noodling and voice pass and re-read the book myself.

I did have a great and productive photo sorting day and have everything from Paris now ready for editing. I certainly didn’t finish this month (still on the Louvre) but the big hurdle (picking which pictures to edit out of literally thousands!) is done. I’m three sets away from done with the Louvre, so my goal in April is to finish Paris and move onto something else.

I’ve looked at my guitar and paints a few times. It’s fine. I’ve been writing and playing outside and it’s fine, maybe there will be more crafty stuff over the summer when it’s too hot to spend hours tromping around the neighborhood.

So, April is about:

• Actually freaking focus on making some scale progress. Track daily, don’t go over calories, weigh almost every day, and stop with the unearned treats.
• Do the normal weights stuff, add some biking and swim once a week, run less but faster after the race
• Get the bathrooms redone, prep taxes, get the pool up and running
• Word noodling pass on the book and Paris photo editing

And… enjoying as much outside time as possible before it gets too hot. All the walks to all the things.