Adjusted Reality

So, I always hear that the holidays are the hardest part of the year to maintain a healthy lifestyle.  And by holidays, I mean the last quarter of the year being Hallo-anksgiv-mas.  Which might as well just be Christmas, since ALL THE FREAKING STORES have their Christmas decorations up already.  Some were up in August.  Does that just piss anyone else right the fuck off?  Christmas is a holiday on December 25th.  Christmas season is from black Friday to Jan 1.  I DO NOT WANT TO SEE CHRISTMAS SHIT IN OCTOBER!

Ok, grinchy rant over.  Anyhoo, I so don’t agree – I think summer is the hardest for me and I regularly LOSE weight during the holidays.  The first year, I took off 15 lbs between Thanksgiving and NYE.  Last year I took off 7.  I’m hoping to continue the trend although my track record hasn’t been that great this year.  Honestly, the holidays are only as big of a deal as you make it.  Here are how I’ve gotten through them.  As always, your mileage may vary.

Healthy Lifestyle Problem #1: There will be candy, cookies, and other random non-healthy eatings around in abundance.  Yes, it would be nice if we gave out protein bars for Halloween and made Christmas Salad for santa, but sadly, it’s not the case.  There will be food all around that is not necessarily good and healthy for you.  It might even infiltrate your house via significant others picking up some sale Halloween candy or neighbors bringing over Christmas cookies (yes, people in our neighborhood still do that, isn’t it cute?).  How do you deal with sweets being shoved in your face 24/7 for the greater part of 3 whole months?

Tips:

• Allow yourself an occasional treat.  Sure, Snickers aren’t the epitome of good healthy eating, but if see it and want it, you’ll go nuts about it if you’re like me.  If I see something like that, I’ll grab it and stick it in my desk drawer at work until I can work it in my calorie count for the day.  I still have a reese’s peanut butter egg from easter in there somewhere.

• For baked goods others are offering, I have a guideline – if it’s from a store, skip it.  If it’s homemade, at least have a taste.  If someone took the time to make homemade cookies from scratch and is offering them directly to me, I’ll find the smallest one and eat half.

• If something gets in your house, really think long and hard if you can be trusted around it.  If not, take it to work for others to enjoy, ask your significant other to keep it somewhere besides the house, or failing everything, just throw it away.  It is not the end of the world to put something you don’t want to eat in the garbage.  It is not doing the starving kids in China ANY GOOD to pad your own hips more.  This is probably the most freeing thing I learned during deporkifying.

• If you find you can’t escape a situation, lie.  If your coworker Jeannie McPushypants is INSISTING you eat one of her storebought cookies because they are JUST SO CUTE, tell her you have a mild allergy to flour so you don’t indulge very often because it makes you feel ill (which is not TOO far from the truth, if you ate every cookie offered, you’d indeed feel ill).  For some reason, people seem to respect allergies where they don’t respect trying to be healthy.  Go figure.

Healthy Lifestyle Problem #2: Parties, parties, parties.  First there is the “let’s all get together and hit the haunted house and go out” this weekend and then the halloween party proper next weekend, and then the actual halloween weekend will have more parties.  Candy and sweets and witches brew in various forms (adult or not).  Let’s not even mention the multiple thanksgivings that most people have (work, friends, family, other family) as well as Christmas parties (again – work, friends, family, etc).  How do you cope with the “awww, we’re all celebrating – loosen up a little” being thrust in your face every freaking week?

• Don’t participate.  It’s not an option I invoke very often (I like parties!) but if the party isn’t meaningful to you and is just going to set you off, find something else fun to do (so you don’t feel deprived).  Or if it’s a work potluck, just have some last minute lunch plans during that time you can’t cancel.

• Some people say to eat a healthy meal before, but if you’re like me, I eat a healthy meal before, then munch and drink at the party too.  I compromise and make sure I eat a super healthy filling lo cal snack, but leave some room to taste the best of the best yummies.

• My plan already allows for 1 or 2 higher calorie days on the weekend with lower calorie days during the week – I just make those the party days.  In that vein, if you make sure and be pretty much saintly the day before and after said party, you shouldn’t have problems.

• Get an extra workout in or go extra hard to burn some extra calories.  Gonna have a few glasses of wine tonight?  Run a few miles.  Too much turkey?  Say hi to the elliptical.  Just make sure you’re not overtraining if you’re already on a pretty rigorous workout schedule.  I’m signing up for a race on Thanksgiving morning and already have half marathon training runs scheduled Christmas Eve Morning and the 26th.

• If it’s the holiday proper, enjoy yourself and don’t think too hard.  Eat a nice, filling, healthy breakfast and then sit at the table enjoying the company instead of obsessing over how many calories each slice of turkey has, please.  Thanksgiving and Christmas are generally days where a lot of love and tradition goes into the preparation of a big meal – one day is not going to kill you.  Just make sure it’s that ONE day.  Again, if you’re saintly the day before and after, it’s not going to kill you.

Above all, my biggest tip would be…

YOU ARE GOING TO SCREW UP.  Yes, even you Ms. Perfect over there who is convinced your willpower will keep you on celery and hummus through the WHOLE holiday season.  Ok, maybe not this guy, but still.  Most of us mere mortals will have a day or two where we eat and drink more than we should.  Know this…

IT IS OK.  I promise.  You are not kicked out of the healthy lifestyle club for falling facefirst onto a stack of cupcakes or having a big two three helpings of mom’s famous mashed potatoes rife with butter and gravy at Thanksgiving, or having 6 glasses of wine at the company Christmas party instead of the 2 you had planned on.  Just don’t blame me if you get fired, tee hee.  You enjoy your moment of indulgence, wake up the next morning (or next meal or next moment or whatnot), and go back to the healthy living you know and love.  This means…

NO GUILT.  NONE.  No feeling bad because you screwed up so you’re going to mope around and you feel worthless so you might as well just eat a cookie because you’re never going to lose any weight with your lack of self control anyway.  Well, since they’re there, you might as well finish the bag so you can start again tomorrow… sound familiar?

The best aha moment I ever had was recognizing this (I still succumb to it but not nearly as often) and telling myself, “Self, we had a good time last night!  Those sweets sure were divine and it was certainly fun to get a little tipsy, huh?  Let’s make sure to be extra good today so it doesn’t put a damper in our week, right? Right.”  And be done with it. And dear fluffy lord – if you’re NOT enjoying the cookie or the wine SPIT IT OUT (preferably not on anyone nearby) and throw it away.

What are your tips for surviving the holidays?  Does anyone else think I’m crazy for thinking the holidays are easier than the summer?