Adjusted Reality

“Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.” – Mark Twain

Tag: marathon Page 5 of 10

Twenty Miles and Twerkin’

Running Twenty

Twenty miles has always been my benchmark.  Can I make it through a ~4 hour run?  Alright, ok, then, I can make it through a marathon.

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This is my post-20 miler in the rain face.  We’re all a little mad here.

Note the caveat – make it through.  I definitely saw the difference last year between crashing into a whole lot of run mileage all at once (some run/walk action in the middle of marathon #3) and all of a sudden tapering, versus spending months working up to high mileage and a nice, big, fat run base (running every step of marathon #4) and I enjoyed the second one a whole lot more.

However, because reasons (Kerrville was my A race again this fall, and husband wanted a crack at both marathons he missed last year and me not blaming him one bit for it), we’re doing the exact same thing again, and because other reasons (Bonaire vacation, no will to do anything swim/bike/run for 2 weeks and 2 days), we’re even one more week behind on total run volume.

This is my fourth year of a fall marathon right off 70.3 training, so I should be used to it, but after the half ironman haze fades, I’m always like FUCK I’M SO BEHIND!  Thankfully, I’ve found that I can go from 0 to MILES pretty quick as long as…

a) I keep in the lower end of the zip code of my total hours of 70.3 training (10-11 hours tri training = 7-8 hours pure running)

b) I mind the recovery in terms of sleep, stretching, relaxing, etc.

c) keep an eye on my body parts and drop runs if they are not in reasonable working order.

I was happy to get in a 15 mile run in early September, plus two 13s (though the one during the race was run/walk, miles are miles) and a 10.  So, 0 is a bit of a misnomer – I had some decent run volume during tri training, just not *marathon* volume.

Week 1 of training was a little underwhelming on the weekday runs (13 miles total), but I busted out a pretty great 15 miler on that Saturday, with the last 4 miles faster.

The goal for week 2 was to ramp up to peak week-esque miles with a double on Tuesday, a longer run on Thursday and go out on Saturday, aiming for a 18-20 mile run and 46 total.

My body and mind kinda said FUCK YOU to that.

I cut Tuesday’s double run to a single because I felt tired and my knee was cranky.  And then, after I relented and went to the chiropractor, she asked me to cut my mileage to shorter runs for the rest of the week and if all was good, THEN I could consider a long run.  I was very happy she didn’t rule it out, and I felt things feel better as the week went on with everything in the right place and the muscles stop being cranky because my left hip was a full inch higher than my right.  But, I could definitely see how going out for a double digit run right away on that could have thrown everything right back into chaos, so missing those miles was the right thing to do.

Saturday was a bit of a wildcard.  Rain was in the forecast 100%.  I don’t mind running in the rain, but lightning would be a deal breaker.  The plan for inclement weather (like, severely inclement) was a treadmill run.  Let that one sink in.  20 miles/4 hours on the treadmill.  I’ve done 15 but it took multiple Konas to get me through it and this would be the gym where I’d have no control over the TV.  I steeled myself for 4 trips around Monterey Bay, my tunes, and trying to ignore bad TV.

Thankfully, when we got up that day, the forecast was JUST rain.  Pretty heavy and steady rain, but no lightning.  So, up and out we went.

I love running in the rain, and my last two 20+ runs involved some level of rain.  I found a lot of joy in this one.  I was a little worried about my knee holding up, and it talked to me a wee bit on the earlier parts of the run, but it actually felt like it was getting *better* as I passed into double digits.

I made one sock change at about 6 miles in, but realized quickly that it wouldn’t matter.  I tried to avoid puddles at first, but then realized it was futile (and all the juking around was actually making my legs cranky), so I just started forging through them.  It was the most fun option, anyway!  Instead of being cranky at the rain, I spent most of the day smiling and singing and dancing in it, and thanking the universe for this opportunity.  I mean, seriously, as adults, when do we get 4 hours to play in the rain?  Never!

After winding around the neighborhood for 6 miles (and said sock change), we went on a journey, which I love.  We passed as many creeks and bridges as we could so we could see how high things were.  It’s cool to see creek beds that are normally dry gushing with water.

At around mile 15, when we finally crested the 3 mile hill and turned back towards the house, I got my second wind and picked up the pace and pulled away from Zliten (we have an agreement – when one of us is having a good day, just GO).  My last 5 miles were 10:53, 10:57, 11:12, 11:05, and 10:40.  I’m getting pretty good at this fast(er) finish thing and I’m really not even trying.

It’s also the first run I’ve ever done this long without music.  Before, I used to need that distraction to run.  I would legit reschedule a run if my mp3 player was dead.  A year ago, I would have felt the same way.  Now, I still enjoy music while I run at times, but *needing* music is not really a thing anymore.  I was pretty proud that I didn’t have one thought on Saturday about missing auditory distraction.  I didn’t need somewhere to hide, even those last 5 miles.

I really wish I could amp up the mid-week miles a little more because I’m handling these long runs out of nowhere very well, but it may be an either/or situation right now.  I need get my legs under me, and in the timeline I’m in – I’ll take a SPECTACULAR 20 with only 18 mid-week miles to support it rather than only running 7-8 miles a day x 5 days a week (yep, it’s marathon season when I say shit like that).  Soon I’ll be running all the miles.  Just not quite yet.

Last week:

  • 38 miles run
  • Long run of 20
  • One session with some faster miles or segments (4 mile progression – check)
  • 1 dozen + a few stretches
  • Did NOT get to the lake or pool.  I’d claim rain but honestly, I just wasn’t ready yet.
  • All food tracked.  I’ll discuss ratios a little bit below.

This week’s goals:

  • ~40-45 miles of running
  • Long run of 18-20 (lets go volume!)
  • One session with some faster miles or segments
  • 2 dozens + stretch
  • Get your ass to the pool.  Or at least on a bike.  But pool.
  • Track all your food, and adhere to the NEW rules.

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Calorie Twerkin’

So, I’ll be honest.  I have to dial this eating plan back.  I hit a weight that threw up MAJOR red flags (190) three days in a row.  The plan was to allow for a little weight gain, about 5 lbs, which I was ok (begrudgingly) with.  Then it got closer to 10.  I’m now up to about 12-14 lbs up from where I was August 1st, which is NOT OK with me.

Obviously, this means that I’m outeating my training.  I’m reading a lot of pro athlete daily diary blogs, and they consume a lot of carbs… between their 2-3 workouts a day.  Then, they eat like a normal (carb heavy) human for meals.  Running for an hour does not merit the same eating as training many hours per day.

Right now, besides long run day, I am, for the most part running 1-1.5 hours a day with ~2 days off. I do not think that 2700 calories or 400g carbs 7 days a week is doing me good.  So, I’m modifying a little to see if I can get back in the realm of feeling like I don’t jiggle when I walk like a bowl full of jelly, and also fuel my workouts properly.

  • Long run day (3+ hours) – aim for about 3000 calories and over 400g carbs.  These are the days I need to be fueling my ass off.
  • Mid-week long run day (1.5 to 2 hours) – aim for about 2300 calories and at least 300g carbs.
  • Normal training days (1 hour runs) – aim for about 2000 calories and as close to 300g carbs as possible.
  • Days off – let hunger dictate.  Aim for a little less than normal training days, but eat a little more if I’m still hungry.  The day after long runs – I’ll probably be hungrier.
  • Eat as much as I can as close to runs as possible.  I’m doing a lot of lunch runs so this works out SUPER great (get back, pop food in microwave, shower, eat immediately).  Post long runs, I have a new recovery shake and it’s frikkin mana from heaven.  I find the sooner I eat after running, the less “rungry” I am later in the day.

I’ll give this a few weeks, and then see if I need to tweak it further.  I’d like to see my weight eventually stabilize around that “5 lbs up” (181-183) I was promised.  I am 100% still in the mindset that this marathon is a training run, and besides not being a dumbass and fueling my longer runs properly, this is probably a good opportunity to get the weight in check so I’m not running this marathon pushing 200 lbs.  It’s terrifying that this would even be a possibility, but that’s where we’re at.

And, with that, back to my regularly scheduled week.  Vacation part two coming soon.  Promise!

 

 

One Good Run

I know there is some vacation recaps to do and I’m working on that, but honestly, I’m not really ready to admit it’s over and that (plus editing and sifting through 1000 diving pictures <- not an exaggeration) is not happening yet.

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However, as things are wont to do, life goes on, and let’s discuss a little of that.

Having this vacation was the perfect thing for my mental state, for various reasons, one of which is I’ve kind of been in an endurance sport…funk after my race.  As time has gone on, I’ve come to terms with the result and the physical issues.  I mean, come on, if life hands you a bag of shit on one of the most important days of the year, you’re going to eat shit sandwiches.  It happens.  Between womanly issues and the bike crash, it was not my day to sub-6.  That’s ok.

I’m still at odds with two things.

  1. My utter and complete meltdown.  I’m usually a good problem solver during races (at least, I have been lately), and part of endurance sports is enduring pain and keeping a clear head on a long day.  While sub-6 wasn’t happening, I probably could have at least turned in a more respectable 6:45-ish if I would have calmed the temper tantrum on the run.  I’ve never been so close to DNFing a race and nothing was REALLY wrong.
  2. I’m pretty decent at goal setting.  I like to pick something that is my current skill + a little race day magic.  I was one HOUR off what I thought was really reasonable (~6:10).  That’s a little humbling to be so far off what I was capable of that day.

Spending 15 hours in the ocean was healing both for my body and mind, and I started this week as a transition into marathon training with an open mind.

I also decided that I needed to take some of the pressure off.  In my head right now, this marathon is a training run.  I’m going to run as much as I can (healthily) to be prepared for it, but I’m not going in with do or die goals.

I’d like to run the whole thing, unless, of course, I deem that run/walk will get me to the finish faster (which sometimes when I’m dealing with shit, it does).  I’d like to finally have a marathon PR with a 4 at the beginning, instead of the maddening 5:00:57, but if it’s not my day, that’s ok too.

I started the week feeling a little ennui for running, and for starting a 5 month block of marathon training.  That was not encouraging.  It makes sense – our version of fall hasn’t really and truly hit yet, our temps were still in the 90s, and I started back after 16 days off.  I just expected to feel a little more… something.

The thought “you can always drop to the half” rang through my head.

Then, this weekend we set out on our first long run.  I was a little intimidated to tackle 15 miles the first week back, but I already felt a little behind since we race in 6 weeks, so I wanted to go out at least with the intention for something long.

Things came up – I got a hole in my capris and had to change, I had a little heartburn at first (note to self: berries before a run, good… apple… a little too acidic).  It got hot, I got sick of running culdesacs.  The last two, I did whine about that when I started to get low around mile 9, but Zliten made me eat a gel and I was all better.

However, the promise of maybe I don’t suck as an athlete came on around mile 11 when I sped up to the range I would consider goal marathon pace if I was setting one, just on instinct and all on my own.  I ran the last 4 miles 30-45 sec faster than the first 11 without even trying.

Maybe there is a decent marathon in me yet.

I also finally felt a little bit of the joy again.  I couldn’t think of a better way to spend the morning (although I could have spent it a LITTLE cooler, the run ended at “feels like 85”).  It got a little harder at mile 13.5-ish, but not unbearably so.  I guess that muscle memory of all the miles I ran last winter didn’t completely go away and I felt like maybe I could leave my frustrations with Kerrville behind and focus on having the best next 6 weeks possible instead of being full of doubt.

Next week I’ll do things like starting to actually plan workouts and mileage and wear my garmin and HR monitor more (maybe) and eat with a plan and track it and stretch like I’m supposed to and be an athlete with a purpose instead of just going out aimlessly to do whatever for miles.

It was just required to have one good run first, I guess.

This week:

  • 28 miles ran
  • 1 dozen session
  • No cross training yet (though I may hit the lake for paddleboarding today)

Next week’s plan:

  • 40-ish miles
  • Long run of 18-20
  • One session with some faster miles or segments
  • 2 dozens + stretch
  • Get back in the pool or lake at least once
  • Tracking my food and trying to adhere to my ratios

Island Time

Hallo internets.  If you follow me on various social medias (@adjusted_reality on insta or @quixotique on the twitters) this is no surprise but I just flew back from Bonaire two days ago (and boy are my arms tired).

I’m getting back to reality (at least my adjusted version of it), work, and training this week.  Usually I’m ready for it when vacation is over.  However, this one was so epic, so wonderful, so soul soothing, I really and truly didn’t want it to end.

I’ll go into more detail later, because that’s what I do, and I still have to process and edit about a thousand diving shots, but for now, know that Bonaire is awesome and I’m already plotting ways to get back as soon as humanly possible.

Great food.

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Great diving.

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Great adventures.

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But, as I said, work calls.  Running calls.  Life calls.  So… no vacation recap just yet.

I’ll leave you with one underwater thought though…one of my new goals in life is to take pictures so beautiful, so compelling, that it makes more people want to become scuba divers.  I’m nowhere near skilled enough yet, but it’s a hobby I get to work on for the rest of my life.

If you’ve ever had an inkling that you’d be interested in scuba diving, if you’ve liked swimming in the ocean or snorkeling or heck, even just love aquariums, go take a scuba class.  It is absolutely intimidating and scary and they’ll tell you twenty different ways you can be dumb and die in class, but you’ll get over it and the upshot is that YOU GET TO GO BREATHE UNDERWATER.

You get to see turtles feed.  You get to expore underwater wrecks.  You get to have a school of 100 blue tangs swim directly at you.  You get to have a barracuda friend follow you around (who is a little scary at first, but then it’s obvious he wants friends, not food).  You get to play peek-a-boo with eels.

It is SO worth it, y’all.

And that’s why I spent 15 hours last week blowing bubbles underwater – not to mention the 15+ hours doing stuff like hauling tanks, setting up gear, and falling off the side of boats and tiptoeing over rocky coasts to get IN and OUT of the water.  That’s why I am chafed on my fingers and toes and knee and back and fracking everywhere and still have a smile on my face.  That’s why I finished each day of vacation flattened, but in the best way, and I can’t wait to do it again.

2014-2015 Season Recap

Usually I have this big deal about wrapping up my seasons and setting goals for the next, but five weeks ago I just sort of went quietly into #offseason and didn’t really think much.

I think the main reason for that is… it was a pretty great year.  Sure, I can definitely think of some things I want to improve upon, but a PR for every single distance I raced (and every RACE I raced, minus 1 hilly marathon) is not anything to sneeze at.

But, I like to look back at this stuff, so let’s navel gaze, shall we?

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Things I did right:

1. Consistent training. 

I had no weeks where I was completely knocked out by injury.  I had a few niggles here and there, but I was completely doctor approved to run through them and nothing hung around too long.  My body showed up all year and I was able to swim, bike, and run each week from July 28th 2014 to June 21st, 2015 at my discretion.

One of the best things I did for myself was that 5 week run streak in January.  It taught me that I could run in any conditions, that running didn’t have to be a special event.  It taught me how to really do a recovery run.  It made me harden the fuck up and get the miles done because it I couldn’t put it off until a better day.  I also think it’s one reason I was able to run the whole marathon in February.

2. Taking enough time off during season to stave off major burnout.

I had at least one week off after each major race, and one ramp up week after that. I also followed each major race with vacations – in some cases that helped my stress levels and in some cases it didn’t.

  • October – 70.3 recovery – one week OFF, one week low volume (5 hours).
  • December – Marathon #1 recovery – one week OFF, one week low volume (5 hours).
  • March – Marathon #2 recovery – one week OFF, two weeks low volume (3-5 hours).

After that, I took about 1 recovery week for every 3 weeks of solid tri training.  This helped me stay mentally with it pretty much through the end of my season instead of being OVER IT a few months before like 2014.

3. My head game

While I lost it a little bit at times, I felt like 2014-15 was a breakthrough season in many ways because of how much better I got mentally at racing, not just physically.

I did sessions to really focus on keeping my head straight and simulate racing more often, and I think this helped me… y’know, race well.  I was executing by rote instead of constantly problem solving new things I didn’t expect.

I went into just about every race feeling excited, rested, fueled, prepared, and motivated.  It might help that I wasn’t racing any new distances, but I also pursued some lofty goals for each one.

I attacked every race.  I never let myself do the “well, it’s not your race, let’s just jog this one in and forget the time” thing.  If I was missing my A goal, I was doing strategerie calculating how to accomplish my B goal.  This season was the one where I hung the fuck on every race, even if the day wasn’t going 100% my way.

I can’t lie – the marathon results frustrated me.  I still can’t believe I can’t boast a sub-5 PR after everything I did last year.  But I bounced back pretty quickly from both races and was thrilled with what I DID achieve; especially once I started in on the shorter stuff and started obliterating PR after PR.

I also was able to salvage my season even though I lost my training partner for a few months due to injury.  I also think because I stayed motivated and training, he was more motivated to get back into the swing of things quickly.

4. Training Specifically

As a 70.3er and marathoner, it’s really easy to overtrain the easy distance volume.  It seems reasonable if you’re going to do a few long events throughout the year, you should always be ready to race the distance, right?  Multi-mile swims, 3-4 hour bike rides, double digit runs should be done no matter what you’re racing, right?

Sure – if you want to stay the same speed and get burnt out.  Taking a few months to work on shorter distances without so much endurance fatigue made me speedier.  We’ll see how this plays out now that I’m having to ramp up the mileage rather quickly… but it helped me be mentally and physically ready to race each race knowing I specifically prepared for it.  When I’ve been doing 70.3 volume, I’ll show up to sprint triathlons thinking “what the fuck am I doing here, this is a waste of time”.  Not this year.  It was fun!

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Things to improve:

1. Losing a bit of focus during the winter.

I may have consistently gotten out there, but most of my marathon training was literally running however many miles however I felt like running them.  To take my racing a little further, I think I need to put a little more intention into my run training.

There is definitely a time and a place for workouts that involve just running whatever, but once a week I should have a structured shorter workout, and I should ALWAYS have a focus for my long run (even if it is just run 20 miles easy – that should be a choice, not default).

I definitely had some low points during the winter where I wasn’t able to get myself out for my long runs and I just hated everything, but I was able to pull myself together in time.

2. Letting myself gain weight during season

At Kerrville last year, I was pretty lean (for me).  I gained about 10 lbs between October and May.  I’ve got about 5 lbs of that off, but it took a LOT of work.  For most of season, I didn’t track my calories, I didn’t take pre-and post- workout recovery seriously, I ate until I was stuffed, and while I ate a lot of healthy food, I also ate a lot of junk.

Obviously I need to eat a lot to fuel training, but I also need to keep it in check.  I also found at the end of the season that proper fueling before, during, and right after intense sessions helped me to eat less calories the rest of the day.

3. Peaking for my last race about 2 weeks too early.

I’m still not quite sure what happened here or why, but two weeks out of Pflugerville I was so ready to kick it’s ass.  Once the race got there, I was kinda meh and didn’t have 100% mental oomph that day.  The only thing I can think of is that I ramped my volume wayyyy down and dialed the intensity way up too early.  I also started to reduce my calories a bit there, which always fucks with my motivations.

4. Dropping the strength work

Looking back, I did 24 strength sessions last season.  That’s approximately one every two weeks.  That’s not so great.  I should be doing maintenance work 2x week, and I know this.  This is also one reason why I was only able to eek out 9 pushups before failure when I started the pushup challenge.  Let’s not do this again, yeah?

It’s hard to fit in when I’m trying to swim/bike/run as many miles as I can but it’s worth it.

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This year will be a little shorter in terms of focused season but I still have the same big 3 races to tackle.  Next post/soon, I’ll summarize the general goals I have through March.

The Woodlands Marathon – Can’t Stop Won’t Stop (Except for That)

Foreword:

I’m not entirely sure why I’m not ready to let this one go, but it’s been three weeks, so it’s time to post it.  I’m still not sure whether I’m extremely happy or disappointed with this effort.  It feels as if I now have a tool in my arsensal I didn’t before (running a marathon without stopping).  However, the sacrifice there was time, it was a lot slower than I expected, especially without walk breaks.

Either way, I think I need more of my racing year to play out before I judge what was going on here, so, um, here you go – marathon #4 recap.

2015-02-28 05.41.14

***

On February 28th, I ran my first marathon.

I’ve toed the line of 3 others.  I’ve attempted 2 other failed training cycles before that.  However, this is the first time I’ve ran every single fucking step.  It was my second slowest, but I mostly don’t give a shit about that (edit: apparently I do a little more as time goes on).

Since then, I’ve thought a lot about fear.  Being around various women on the cruise, I’ve found that so many of us let ourselves be held back by being scared of things.  “Oh, I’m scared of the ocean, I could never scuba.” “Oh, I’m scared of swimming in open water or riding bikes, I could never do triathlon.”  I am not a completely fearless person.  Frankly, riding bikes in traffic scares the shit out of me.  Getting in open water at the beginning of the year is usually a little squiggly (nature!).  I was also really scared that maybe, for some reason, I’d never be able to actually run a full marathon.  Maybe I just sucked at the distance.

But I do these things because conquering them makes me truly feel alive.  And I prefer to be terrified than bored any day.

Let’s start a little further back than the end of the race though, even though I’ve spoiled the story.  After my 10 miler 7 days out, I stuck to short runs with pickups on the treadmill because the weather sucked.  I did an idiot thing and got drunk and stayed up real late on Wednesday night (intending to only have a few glasses of wine and then get good sleep), and I’m not sure why, maybe nerves, maybe my constant subconscious sandbagging attempts, but it was what it was.  I didn’t get great day before-day before sleep since I was up late packing, but I had been REALLY rested so I wasn’t in bad shape.

Night before night before I did my normal big meal of seafood and salad and veggies.  I did eat two rolls, which I’ll probably try to skip next time, and do more potato type things.  The day before, I had soup for breakfast because it sounded good, we hit the road around noon and stopped for bbq for lunch (turkey, brisket, potato salad, creamed corn), and after arriving and getting packets, chicken, mashed potatoes, and veggies with a wedge salad for dinner.  Early to bed around 9pm with sleepy juice, and fell asleep reading and slept pretty soundly.  All in all, about a B for pre-race care.

Oh, maybe a B-.  I totally forgot my garmin.  Zliten was freaking the fuck out about it.  I was really calm and at first was going to run with just my analog watch as I’d really sparingly used my garmin during training, but I realized I’d be sad not to be able to look at my splits later.  So I borrowed his and he ran his 5k with the phone to track stuff.

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Something wasn’t 100% right with my digestive system that morning, but you work with what you have, so I coconut watered, and ate a kind bar and a small lara bar, and drank purple stuff and tried to be as empty as possible.  Oddly enough, I just kept having to empty.  And empty.  And empty.  Not in any urgent problematic way, but it’s not a feeling you want to go into a long race with.

However, the weather was freakin’ perfect for marathon running.  Finally!  Upper 30s at race start and it wasn’t to get much hotter, cloudy, with very little chance for rain.  I rolled with a very light long sleeve shirt, tights, coeur visor, and throwaway gloves and an old thermal to ditch along the way.

I finally said my farewells to Zliten who was running the 5k (his first outdoor run since November!!!) and got into the corral way in the back, behind all the pacers.  I wanted NO pressure to start quickly.  Between lining up and the gun going off, I acquired the need to pee REALLY bad.  That was weird, because of all the emptying, but I hoped it would go away once I started running.

Not so much.  Once I crossed the start line, I kept my eye out for a bathroom or porta, running easy 11-ish miles, whatever came naturally, and saw all the dudes swing into the woods to pee and cursed them.  I passed mile 1, mile 2, and finally the aid station came up… and they had ONE porta with a huge line.  They said there was more at the next at mile 4.

Well, I was not having that.  I ran up a bit, ducked into a particularly dense part of the woods, and peed.  Peeing in the woods during a road marathon – achievement unlocked.  Mile 3 was just over 12 minutes so it was an incredibly quick stop.  I ditched my throwaway stuff soon after that and settled in.

Right around mile 5 I had been pingponging with an older gentleman for miles and he was weaving all around.  He started chatting with me and telling me about his injured leg, and this was probably his last marathon but he wanted to do it anyway, and all these marathon stories from the 80s about the Houston Marathon.

My first instinct was to freak out a little and try and speed up.  He was going a touch slower than my easy pace (more like 11:40 than 11:20), and I had no experience of actually chatting with someone during a race, because usually I’m either hiding in my headphones or grunting antisocially due to my pace.  However, it was kinda nice to have someone distract me for about 4 miles with stories.  He decided to take a quick stretch break around mile 9 so I said I hoped to see him at the finish line (never saw him again though).

Also, the second thing I realized about that time was this course was NOT FLAT.  The elevation profile and course preview really hid the fact that while there were no steep climbs, damned if we didn’t start going either up or down the whole time pretty early in the single digits, and didn’t really stop until late in the race.

All in all, I felt pretty great, the best I’ve felt in early a marathon.  I tried never to focus on how far there was to go total, but break it into chunks.  The first half, I was just going for a 2.5 hour jog, and it was x-miles until I could put on my headphones and listen to music.  That was a nice carrot early in the race to keep my focus, but it was also lovely running the first half without anything blaring in my ears.  I put down a gel about an hour and two hours in.

Zliten had promised me he’d try to see me at about the 30k mark, so I kept counting down the miles until that after the half.  Marathon brain was starting to get me, so I kept mixing up 17.8 and 18.7, and feeling a little disappointed when I got the math straightened out.  I put down a third gel around mile 15, and felt my first low.  It was an out and back section, and my legs finally started to talk to me, and seeing everyone running at me for some reason made me just…ugh.  I knew I had work to do to beat the 5 hour mark and I needed to pick it up soon and I just wasn’t feeling it.

Soon after we got out on the road, my stomach gurgled and I knew it was going to be bad juju if I didn’t stop.  Shortly therafter, there was a water stop with one porta and no line.  Score.  I ducked in, took care of business, and was on my way quickly.  Another 12 minute mile, but with 10 miles to go, it was totally worth it.  I found the 303s (herbal muscle relaxers) in my handheld and popped them because my legs were starting to talk to me a bit and, well, why not?

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At some point, it sprinkled for a while.  Then, at another point, it dumped rain for another while.  Neither bothered me in the slightest, especially after my 20 miler in the pouring rain.  It was actually a nice change to have something different happening.

I tried to pick it up real hard after the potty break, but my legs just couldn’t find a faster pace than 11s.  I tried a few times and my legs would just start to feel… unstable, so I backed off.  The good news is… I kept running.  11:30s, 11:40s, maybe, but I wasn’t walking.  I took down a fourth gel.  I made a resolution that I wouldn’t walk at the very least until I saw Zliten.  That would be a PR for me in the sense that I’ve never not walked before 30k in a race.

I saw him just after I hit the 30k split mat and I told him I hadn’t walked yet but I was going slower than expected.  He tried to offer me his jacket and gloves but I was totally fine temp-wise.  I handed off my handheld since I had the last one stored in my pocket, and the water stops every 1.5-2 miles were sufficient on a cold day.  I was so done with carrying things.  It felt like a great relief.

Those next miles were kind of a blur.  I kept looking at my watch, thinking this was a running PR for the race, and then after we ticked over to 21.3, that it was just a running PR period.  At that point, I was like, no fucking way am I walking.  I have so little left.  I can do anything for 5 miles.  I never slowed way down, but I never could get that *kick* going on that I wanted.

I saw Zliten again at around 23 and told him that I hadn’t walked yet and he cheered me on and said that I might beat him to the finish with traffic.  I told him that was my goal, I wasn’t planning on slowing down.  Or maybe it was more like “murrf mahf argh google blap”, but that’s what I was thinking at least.

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Pretty much from 16, I knew that 5 hours was going to be really tough that day.  I wasn’t quite sure WHY it was so tough, but I knew that I wouldn’t be satisfied if I didn’t keep trying, so I slammed my last gel and tried to kick one more time.  It actually worked, I found some 10-minute mile pace for a while, but then my legs would feel like they wanted to come out from under me, and I’d ease up a bit.

We came back from the woods into the mall area.  It’s sadly deceptive because you see the start line, which looks like it just maybe could be the finish line, but you still have like .75 of a mile to go.  That just about broke me last year, but I was ready for it.  I saw Zliten running around there, saying he would try to catch me at the finish but it was unlikely.  My garmin was quite off the whole race (clocked almost 26.6), but right as I hit 26.2 and I knew I had a lot more course left, it ticked over to 5 hours exactly.

C’est la vie.  I had run the whole fucking thing in 5:04:29 with almost completely even splits.  However I feel about the race in time gone by, I KNOW there is a victory there.

I crossed the line, got my water and my medal, and at first I thought I was in really good shape… but then after a few more steps I had to stop and stretch, and then again, and then standing got hard, and I found myself sitting my ass on the grass in the beer tent because there was a place to sit, and then after that tiny little beer all I wanted was to gooooo, I was cold, so we did.

March17-1

I’m still trying to wrap my head around how running a whole marathon in perfect conditions equals my second slowest time.  Sure, this was definitely the hilliest one I’ve run.  Maybe my capacity right now is actually better doing run/walk intervals.

However, there is one thing I know.  Yeah, sub-5 may have eluded me this year on two attempts where both times I thought it was a no-brainer to achieve.  However, my ultimate goal is not just sub-5.  I also want sub 4:30.  Then sub-4.  Then maybe a BQ someday.  I just want to keep getting better and better at this distance. And it’s pretty clear that I’m not going to BQ, like EVER, if I have to run/walk the last 10 miles.

It’s been a tough nut to crack, just like the half ironman.  However, the fourth effort at each, I definitely feel like I made SIGNIFICANT progress towards future improvement.  I was definitely feeling down about SpaceCoast 2014, and I think it’s because I made the same damn mistakes I did in 2013.  I went out at a certain pace, let my head get the best of me around 15-16 miles in, and had severe low points in the last half.

This time, I made different mistakes.  Maybe I went out too slow.  Maybe I shouldn’t have run with that guy for 4 miles and let it drag my pace down a bit.  Maybe I should have upped the pace at 10 miles.  Maybe I should have tried a little harder to kick later, but I can tell you my knees still even feel a little unstable 10 days out (edit: better 3 weeks out though!), so it probably was for the best.  I definitely wasted a few minutes on potty stops, but that was literally unavoidable unless I wanted to be in a very messy situation re: my tights.  I know I fueled and hydrated better than I ever have in a race.  I just didn’t have the speed I hoped I would.

However, speed is something I can build with work.  I believe that getting over the hump of having the endurance to run a full marathon without stopping was a huge physical (and mental) barrier for me, and now I’ve got that feather in my cap.  The ability to run for 5 hours without really slowing down at all is pretty key, and I did that.  For someone 6 weeks out from the race who was considering dropping to the half, I will mother fucking take it.

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