Adjusted Reality

“Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.” – Mark Twain

Month: April 2009

Biggest Loser Gripes

So one of my guilty crap-tv indulgences is The Biggest Loser.  I’m not sure WHY I watch it.  Maybe, it’s because I used to have a lot in common with the people on the show – I felt so heavy and out of control and like I’d need a miracle to get my weight under control.  Now, of course, I know that all I needed to do was have some patience and make little changes that added up and stick with it, but back then – I had no faith that I could lose 10 lbs let alone 100.  It might be a selfish thing – as in, hey, I look better than the people on TV  – since normally comparing my physique to anyone on TV is as useful as comparing my cooking skills to the chefs on Food Network – I might think I look pretty cute today and might have enjoyed the spicy lentil soup I cooked up, but these people are making careers of it.  Of course I can’t compare.

It also might be that in a world of ridiculous reality TV, at least these people are getting some sort of benefit out of the show.  I think that’s why I like Top Model too (this has sound, be warned) – as twisted as it is, Tyra is helping these girls live what is for most of them a life long dream.  Stuff like Rock of Love or Charm School or Tool Academy (things that would NEVER grace my TV, but I can’t help what’s on TV when I’m at the gym.  I have to look at SOMETHING and the wall that says Austin, Texas gets boring), no redeeming value whatsoever.  These people are being given what a lot of us former marshmallows dreamed of – a fresh start in a skinny and fit body by the end of the show, and an opportunity to continue the rest of their lives with what they learned.  Even though a lot of them end up gaining weight back because, well, easy come, easy go – at least they get a chance.

However, the minutiae of the show sometimes gets to me.  I really hate the obvious product placement – not that I mind them advertising healthy food/items, but it just seems so fake and contrived trying to slip it in as part of the show.   I know the show is a game as well – but it just gets to me when they throw a fit about only losing, like, 5 lbs in a week.  I’d be happy with 1 lb.  Really.

One episode, they were making lower calorie versions of fast food like pizza and burgers.  This is good!  I have learned how to cut calories on many indulgences by making them at home.  What irked me was one team that made a burger of some sort, don’t remember what was on it, but it had a little ramekin on the side of mustard and ketchup.  When they were grading the submissions, they lost on calories and the food guy supposedly giving them tips said it was because of the mustard and ketchup on the side.

Excuse me?  I don’t know what’s up with that.  I’ve heard that from a few people that eat their burgers dry because they think mustard and ketchup are what’s bad for you on a burger.  Each tablespoon of mustard is essentially calorie free, under 5 for sure.  Each tablespoon of ketchup is about 15.  So a normal human will ingest MAYBE 20 extra calories if they ingest a tablespoon of each.  Who can eat a burger dry?  I can’t.  I would honestly rather eat something else rather than go without my 20 calories of condiments.  I’ll concede that ditching the bun, while not my thing, does offer significant calorie savings.  Ditch the plastic cheese for about 60 calories less – fine, I don’t need cheese.  Like it, but don’t need it.  Forgoing the squirt of ketchup and mustard – not significant.  What else are you going to put on it?  Mayo at 90 calories per tablespoon?  Ranch or Bleu Cheese Dressing at 75 calories per tablespoonBBQ sauce at 20-25 calories per tablespoon gets a bad rap too – seriously?  Wanna tell me we’re all fat because of BBQ sauce?  No!  It’s the bacon, cheese, and mayo on that burger that’s killing you.  I promise.  Leave freaking mustard and ketchup alone!  What a horrible example!  If I didn’t know better, I would think, “crap, I’d never eat a hamburger without condiments.  I guess I’m just destined to be fat”.

What really got my goat though… there was one show where one team got 24 hours of luxury.  They started with dinner, and then went to the bar, and then had late night munchies.  One of the women, god forbid, had a few puffs of a cigarette, and actually put it out because she said it tasted gross.  Sure, they went overboard, but wouldn’t you if you were essentially trapped in diet deprivation hell for the 10 weeks prior?   They came back and got totally lambasted by Jillian for indulging.  She looked like her eyes were going to pop out of their sockets while she was yelling at them about fried food, tequila shots, and other bad stuff.  She went on and on about the woman who took 2 puffs off a cigarette.  Really?  You’re going to tear down the woman who was curious, had a puff, and then actually drunk-as-a-skunk put it out because it tasted crappy and said she was done with smoking?  Commend her.

The funny thing is – the team still won the weigh in.  I’m glad that after all that, it still shone through that one day of indulgence is just that – one day.  In the grand scheme of things, if you are good 80% of the time and not so good 20% – you’re making progress.

It’s not all crap though.  Two weeks ago they had all the contestants run a half marathon (I didn’t see it until WAY after I decided to run my own, so I’m not copycatting, I swear!).  Most of them are obviously strong for their weight because of all the workouts they’ve been doing, but they definitely did not look like the type of people that roll up to the starting line at your local race.  The lightest gal was about 180 and the heaviest man was around 330.  Only one guy did not finish (and it was due to his knee problems more than just his general overweight-ness), and two finished actually pretty respectably – around 2:15.  I’m glad it showed that you don’t have to wait until you’re the perfect weight to go after something ambitious, which is something I’m still working on myself.

I just wish it wasn’t 2 hours.  I mean, I love watching it on a Sunday morning while I’m making the grocery list because it only needs half my attention, but it’s usually afternoon by the time I finish the show!  Anyone else out there watch TBL?  What do you think of it?  Am I banished from the kool kids klub for admitting I watch it?

April (Not Fools) Plan – Half Marathon, Baby!

First of all, let me call out that this is NOT an April Fools post.  If it was, I’d probably post that I was going to try one creation from here daily.  Or that I was going to try the Acai berry stuff the ads keep pushing on me.  If you don’t know what I’m talking about here, you must have a good ad blocker, so I won’t even bother with a link.  Nope, this is the real deal folks.  I am going to attempt to run 13.1 miles approximately 12 weeks from now.  I can currently run just over 6.  Crazy?  I know…but sounds like a good challenge.

How did I arrive at this?  Blame Fitness Magazine.  I’ve commented various places that I really don’t care for fitness-y magazines, but Zliten has made it a habit to collect all of our Coke point codes and put them into the website.  Since we didn’t really want them to send us random Coca Cola merch and kitchy things to clutter up the house, we started getting bathroom fodder, I mean, uh, magazine subscriptions.  So we got through Wired and EGM and decided the next one was Fitness, I mean why not, it’s free.  I have to say I’ve actually enjoyed reading it, I found a really awesome curried veggie and chickpea recipe I want to try, though there is a lot of crap in it (one article criticized a subject’s fridge because they didn’t have whole grains, but the next recipe had white rice).

However, last month’s mag had something that caught my attention – half marathon training.  They said that you could start from nothing and run a half marathon in 2 months.  The training schedule seemed a little weaksauce to me – I think it jumped from 10 or 11 miles as the long run the week before the race right up to 13.1.  Personally, I do NOT feel comfortable with that at all.  Two months to more than double my distance also seemed like the stuff major injuries are made out of, so I set it aside.  Sorta.  Instead, the idea of running anything with the word marathon (even if it’s got the modifier half in front of it) sounded awesome and empowering.  So I decided that instead of what I had planned this month, I was going to look into a half marathon training program, though one that seemed a bit more sane.

After reading through training programs from Runner’s World, Hal Higdon, Jeff Galloway, marathontraining.com, marathonrookie.com, and Cool Running, I frankensteined together my own plan taking into account that I don’t want to drop my 2 sessions of yoga per week or my 2 sessions of strength training, I don’t want to run 5, 6, or 7 days per week (cross training for the win), I don’t feel comfortable increasing my mileage more than 1 mile per week.  Actually, I barely feel comfortable increasing my mileage more than 1 mile a month, but this is where the experiment is – reaching out of my comfort zone here.

Since this is a 3 month endeavour, this is going to eat up April, May, and most of June’s experimental time.  Every Monday, I plan to post about my training for the last week and what next week’s schedule is.  Since I started 2 days ago, here is this week’s plan:

Monday: 3 mile treadmill run + full body weights at the gym

Tuesday: yoga and 4×400 pace run at the track (1 lap warmup, 1 lap 5k pace, 1 lap jog, repeat pace and jog 3 times, 1 lap cooldown)

Wednesday: 30 minutes DDR and yoga

Thursday: 3 mile outside run + full body weights at home

Friday (or Saturday): 5 mile run

Saturday (or Friday): Rest

Sunday: Rest

Total week 1 mileage: 13.5.  Rest may or may not involve a bike ride one of those days.

If you’re interested in the nitty gritty details – I’m going to be tracking everything here as well.  Because the site is kinda nifty and sakkath sent it to me.

This is actually a pretty mellow week for me.  I was all pumped on Monday to start on this endeavour and then I looked at the training spreadsheet I made myself (yeah, I am a project manager, sue me) and realized – yep, except the fact I’m running 4 out of the 5 days, this is actually downgraded a bit from my normal workout.  No matter, I’ll have enough weeks of crazy soon enough.

Weights:

Just to change things up, I’m going to start varying my weight routine.  I mean, I change exercises and up my weights and reps, but I really wanted to try something different.  So, I’m going to change one day a week to either 1 set to failure instead of 3 to a certain number (so instead of doing 3 sets of 32 calf raises, I’m going to sit there and calf raise until I cannot… do… another…, and then move on to the next exercise), or 1/2 the reps, double the time per rep (which I hate, hate, hate – I think weights should be secondary cardio and I try to hit as many muscles/machines as I can in the time I have).  This week, I’m going to try 1 rep to exhaustion on Thursday.  Should be interesting!

Eating:

Well, I’ve found that I am just not happy when I limit myself so much the weight falls off at the rate that makes me happy.  So I can either be happy with the amount of food I’m taking in and feeling fueled for my training, or I can feel happy when I jump on the scale and can say that I am of normal BMI sooner than later but feel exhausted and cranky.  I choose, for the next 3 months, the former.  While I’m not going to try and stop losing weight, I am going to boost up the amount of calories I eat by a little, and try to be a little more intuitive.  At the end of the day, if I’m still hungry, I’ll allow myself another serving of veggies/fruit/lean protein to satiation even if it’s a little more calories than I would like.  I think I screw myself when I go to bed hungry and have that hanging over myself the next morning.  Now, if I am hankering for an ice cream but fruit sounds nasty?  Then, I can let it go, because obviously THEN I’m just cravey.

The plan is to start at 1500 calories per day (average, if I have a crazy weekend day then I just have to balance it out) and follow my appetite.  When I’m running 20+ miles a week, I’m pretty sure I’m going to also need to have a little more fuel.  My little sparkulator thing says I can eat between 1350-1700 calories to lose 1 lb per week, and goddamn if I wouldn’t be thrilled doing that right now.  So there it is.

The culmination of this endeavour in late June?  Well, since it’s hotter than hell here in Austin there are no half marathons between April and October.  Either I’ll search around and find an official race to run and travel, or I’ll host my own.  I’ve already recruited some friends to sit in my front yard that morning and drink beer and hand me water and gel packs, and I have a fantastic 2.7 mile lap around my neighborhood I’m comfortable with.  Plus, seeing my friends lounging and drinking beer will probably make me want to run faster, so I can after that, lounge and drink beer.

One final note.  I am still at approximately 1 pack of American Spirit Lights per week, the majority of which are consumed with major amounts of booze.  As always, I’m trying to continue to whittle down my smoking until I can take it or leave it (and then leave it), but I am also interested if a very casual smoker can actually do the mileage.  I figure somewhere before marathoning I’ll have to make a choice (smokes or distance/times), but I’m curious when that will be.

Anyone out there done a half marathon?  Anyone want to talk me out of my insanity and instead have April be a “sit on the couch and eat ice cream” experiment?  You know where to find me…

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