Adjusted Reality

What else would a normal person do at 430am whilst on round 2 of colonoscopy prep but catch up on blog writing?

I mean, after that sickly sweet cherry flavored “gonna poop myself” drink and being up most of the night anyway with allergies? It just makes sense to write something in my delirious state killing time between bathroom breaks.

Soooooo… yeah, that super rough March went pretty much as expected and more. I posted my last missive right before we left for GDC. It was actually a great experience, both professionally and personally, but kinda took a toll. We stayed in a room – the first few nights – with other major quirks, but most importantly only one full-size bed. Not a queen, not a double, a full. One step away from twin. That didn’t work out for two grown ass adults. First night I turned in at a reasonable hour and just tossed and turned. After that, I figured I may as well indulge in the after parties, as it was the only way I was getting sleep. So, three nights of piss poor sleep, 8am-midnight+ meetings and then social events which were pretty much meetings with alcohol and food, and 20k+ steps per day and we were just exhausted to the bone.

We had planned two more nights/three days of fun and sightseeing for just us, and we were so tired we didn’t do a lot of it. I pretty much slept and read in the room on Friday after a few morning meetings except for a quick trip for dinner the Stinking Rose – one of the first nice places we had a “date” on vacation 25 years ago. It was really delicious, but we got sat in a corner by the window with the sunset coming in and kinda blinding us and were ready to leave once the food was in our bellies. We had snagged a rooftop suite for pennies (since the convention was over) and the plan was to get a bottle of wine and enjoy it on our patio… we enjoyed falling asleep for 10 hours each night instead. We made it through a bit of hiking but Joel didn’t have a ton of energy, so we called it at 8 miles Saturday (Golden Gate Bridge Trail to Fisherman’s Wharf) after a hearty crab chowder in a breadbowl and 3 miles in the Botanical Garden in Golden Gate Park on Sunday before completely unremarkable pho for lunch.

After the flight home (which landed after midnight), Joel woke up the next morning sick sick and I was kinda sick but not in a normal way. I never had any symptoms, but the level of tired you get when you get the flu or covid or something? Yeah, I felt like I was wading through sand mentally and physically for about 3-4 days. So, besides work? I slept. A lot.

I finally felt some energy back right around the beginning of April and started feeling like runs. Lots of them, but short. I think the first week back I ran like 5 times in 7 days (but between 1-3 miles a day). It actually was quite nice just to think “hey, I’ve got 15, 25, 35 mins right now, I’ll just go for a jog” and not worry about the length, if it wasn’t that much, I’d just go again the next day. I’m going to try to keep up that mentality. Getting a 2-mile run in isn’t usually all that’s on the plan, but it’s a really nice way to wake up if I can make it happen!

I took almost 2 weeks break from weights. I had planned for that during GDC – doing a super back bicep chest shoulder workout the day before I left and then just having “legs” be the 20k steps a day and hills that were San Franciso, but when I got back, see the “work and sleep only” plan. I tried, y’all, I really did. On Tuesday, I brought the weights to do a back and bi workout in my office. That was enough of a workout. I just kind of stared at them on Tuesday. And Wednesday. And Thursday. I finally picked them up on Monday the next week, and I’ve been good for the last two weeks and don’t see that stopping.

I mentioned allergies – those hit on Thursday and have been bugging me since. It’s all springy and pretty and I’ve been tromping around my house to get my mile walk in this weekend because it’s positively YELLOW with pollen outside. Colonoscopy prep + allergies has been super fun too. I already am doing weird things to my body by eating like I’m on a cruise and forgot what vegetables are, plus I also can’t sleep well because all the snot is dripping down my throat and making it all angry-like. I honestly cannot tell if it’s a mild cold or bad allergies but considering the status outside and everyone else in Austin whining about it, I’m going with allergies.

If I sound like a sad sack, I’m nothing compared to what Joel’s been going through. Instead of just “weirdly tired” he was sick sick the week after we got back. He felt better, so the next Monday, he accompanied me on a 2 mile walk and a 10 minute swim, which pretty much knocked him out for the first half of the week. Later on, he felt better so we increased his walk a little and had him walk 3 miles on Sunday. The next day, he was just shattered. So, to the doctor he finally went, and she diagnosed him with previously having the flu (which I assume I was spending time just fighting off) and then he caught bronchitis. He got 5 days of super-antibiotics. And just the last few days he’s finally felt like a real person again (just as I have devolved into the angry phlegmy pooping goblin!).

The good thing is that if I follow Joel’s trajectory for recovery after this procedure, I’ll be back at it very soon (maybe a day or two) and he’ll finally be ready to join me (slowly – first building up the walk to 3 miles without fatigue before doing anything else). I’m looking forward to a little bit of normalcy!

So, brief words about where I’m at with all the things:

#1 The Unwanted Kettlebell

I think I’m about the same weight as the last time I wrote here, which is actually not bad considering the week of ridiculous foods in San Franciso and not feeling well. My back-half-of-April resolutions are:

• Get caught up on my Trendweight. I’m months back and it would be nice to be able to legit track some progress here instead of guessing.
• I specifically didn’t track my calories the last three days of prep so I didn’t get anxious about having to eat weirdly, but back to it tomorrow (after getting whatever the eff I want after 36 hours of clear liquid diet crap)
• I have actually been not doing terribly at 1200 calories + activity, but I’ll start tallying my weeks now for reals.

Basically, now that I’m getting back to normal times, I’m going to do the normal things. I’ll get a baseline in April and try to set some goals from there.

Total tangent: I had truly wondered what the “cleanse” part of prep would do to my weight… let me tell you, after the liquid diet part of the day, I was one lb UP from the morning of, and after the first round of the evacuations – the bloating more than overcompensated for unclogging my digestive system, I was a few tenths up over THAT. So, the whole “do this cleanse and rid yourself of all this weight” malarkey going around? I’m going to say it’s nonsense. Eat healthy, stay hydrated, poop a few times a day, and you’re fine.

#2 Sporty Stuff

After feeling better and before allergies/colonoscopy prop, I had a pretty good groove here which I will aim to return to.

• 3x weights per week
• 2-3 bikes per week
• 3-5 runs (some real short) per week
• 1 swim
• 1 mile+ day of walking

I’ve had some pops of not just easy running and riding over the last month and a half, I’m looking forward to making that a habit. I had a really nice baby speedwork session – basically run hard down the hills, jog the flats/uphills. First 5k under 11-minute miles in a while without me really trying to push a pace!

#3 Adulting

Geez, I’m getting my butt looked at, what more adult is there? Besides that I even:

• Got my registration taken care of
• Got my eyes examined and got new glasses (on the way)
• Cleaned up my new office at work so it’s not a complete trash heap of boxes and bags

Going to give myself a pass for the rest of the month on must-dos and make a few goals for May.

#4 Hobbies

• Book – 75.4k (about 5.4k more than last time). It’s less progress than a good focused day, but I haven’t had a good focused day, I’ve had stolen hour or twos here and there. And forward progress is forward progress.
• Haven’t really touched much else besides voraciously reading the Villian’s Code series. I’m a few hundred pages from done on the last book and that’s pretty much been my hobby time since I’ve been sick or tired or pretending I’m sick so I don’t get sick. It’s been pretty relaxing.
• I’d like to finish my diving pictures by the end of the month so I can start something new.

#5 Work Life Balance

I can’t explain why this one has been so difficult, but it has been. I think I’m past the worst of it now, but I can’t lie, I’m almost looking forward to this procedure, so I get an extra day off guilt free. Sounds like I need a vacation – holy geez, I do, and I have one planned, but need to make sure we’re healthy for it. I had booked time off in a few weeks but not the accommodations/travel, so we’ll see if we can actually go then. I think I’m not going to wait though and take an extra 3-day weekend not this weekend (too many social things planned already to actually get the relax time I’m looking for) but next weekend.

No matter what, I resolve to have the plan, by the end of this month, for some time off to destress.

Whew, only been to the bathroom about 7 times since I started this post, let’s go for number 8. It hasn’t been the funnest weekend, but not quite as bad as I expected (at least in the prep part, DO NOT RECOMMEND doing with allergies keeping you up as well). Once I get er done, and get some dang food, I’m sure I’ll be a happy camper and feel relieved even my butt is healthy!

March is like the best month and also the worst month.

Case in point:

• Spring! Flowers and chirpy birds and one of the best times of the year (total pro)
• Wide variety of weather from 30 degrees to almost 100 degrees (pro and con but mostly pro, better than just cold and grey or just hot hot hot)
• Everyone’s birthday happens and its celebration time! Again. And again. And again. (pro for fun things, con for trying to eat healthy)
• Boss came out first week, traveling for a convention third week (pro for networking/collaboration, con for trying to eat healthy and also staying on top of focused work)
• Three shows (well, two, we missed the first one due to sheer exhaustion). (pro for fun stuff to do, con for eating healthy)
• D&D and Family Time (same, pro for fun times, con for eating healthy)

Also, the social overextension is real. I’m only through half the month and already reserving the first weekend in April to tell all the humans to GO AWAY. And I’m an extrovert (my job just pushes even the extrovert-iest extrovert to the limit). I am truly truly truly just looking forward to April so I can get back on track and stop gaining weight. It’s not that I’m not trying, at least half-assedly, I just really need a few weeks with nothing going on so I can actually get some momentum here.

I usually look forward to March but this year I was dreading it because of how packed it was, and it hasn’t disappointed in terms of how it is full of ALL THE THINGS. Just 15 more days to go. 🙂

#1 The Unwanted Kettlebell:

What can I say about this month?

• I am not weighing regularly and when I am, I am pretty sure it’s going up. Certainly not going down.
• I am not tracking my calories regularly, and when I am, they are more over than under 1200 + activity
• I am not entirely eating junk food, but I’ve had more than normal.

I think I’ve boiled my problem down to the fact that I’m almost always hungry, especially when I’m adhering to my calorie deficit, no matter how healthy I eat. What makes me lose weight (or even maintain, sometimes) is not enough to tick the “I’m satisfied” switch. When I eat healthier, I am definitely less hungry – it’s like the equivalent of a dull constant ache versus a sharp pain. Which is easier to manage. But like, I could pretty much always eat unless I have already overeaten (and even sometimes then).

While I can do my best while traveling next week, this is one of those situations where I have very little control over what I eat or when I eat it, so the only thing I can do is moderate how much I eat. And when you’re stressed, overtired, and constantly starving, that’s a really difficult thing. I am going to do what I can but not be overly worried about a few days of eating probably a giant bagel in the morning because it’s the only real and reliable meal of the day, snacks and coffee sporadically from 9am-6pm, and whatever appetizer/dinner is provided at the parties at night.

So, once I’m back from the convention and I’ve had a good day or two of sleep (I get back at like midnight on Sunday and turn right around for work the next morning), I am back to doing what has worked:

• Track my calories as I eat them
• 1200 calories + activity per day
• Eat all the veggies and fruits

The nice thing I can report though is that I’ve taken my blood pressure a few times a week and it’s been doing well enough to have my blood pressure consistently in the normal range, and not even right at the top.

#2 Sporty Stuff

I’ve been doing alright here – but my activities have degraded in March because – see above. ALL THE THINGS.

• Week of February 17 and 24 – 3 weights sessions, 1 swim, 3 bikes, 3 runs (exactly as planned)
• Week of March 3 – 2 weights, 1 swim, 4 bikes, 1 run (not as planned)
• Week of March 10 – 3 weights, 0 swims, 2 bikes, 2 runs (not as planned)
• Week of March 17 – going to try to squeeze one of each thing on Monday, then just an insane amount of walking the rest of the week.

I have a pretty solid schedule down though when I’m not disrupted from it:

• Monday – Easy 5k run AM, weights/walk to the gym and back after work
• Tuesday – Easy bike 30 mins AM, walk after work
• Wednesday – Walk and weights PM after work
• Thursday – Easy bike 30 mins AM, walk after work
• Friday – Easy 5k run AM, walk to the gym and back lunch
• Saturday – Walk
• Sunday – Bike Church (spin class), treadmill progression run, swim

If I make all these sessions, it’s a pretty good week. In the coming months I’d like to start doing one of those rides outside after work, and I’d like to make one of those runs not just easy but speedwork. However, I’m happy if I can nail the sessions first and make them habit.

#3 Adulting

…next.

#4 Fun Stuff

Since I last posted, I have…

• I’ve written about 5500 words in the book. This is like one really good day of writing, but I’ve broken it up into enough sessions that I honestly thought I’d barely written a few pages. That’s a good thing, since I’ve made progress while barely feeling like I’ve exerted an effort. I’m just a few hundred words shy of 70k. That doesn’t suck.
• Got back into editing my cruise and diving pictures from December
• Maybe picked up my guitar once (oops) but I did pick up my office Friday so I can actually GET to my guitar stuff again (yay).
• And done lots of social things including Sailor Moon: The Super Live show and going to Top Golf with coworkers.

I’ll possibly set some goals here next month but for now, see above with the March Challenge

#5 Work/Life Balance

This is not the month for it. 🙂 I really need a vacation (like a real one, not a long weekend with another agenda like a race or a wedding or really anything social around people). Once we have our launch dates locked in, I’m looking forward to getting all the fun travel planned for the year.

If I sound exhausted, burnt out, and frustrated… well, yeah, that’s where I’m at right now. Everything is too busy, so many things are up in the air, everything is inconvenient towards my goals, and basically everyone in the world is annoying me. And that’s not the greatest place to be, but I have confidence it’s temporary and I’ll be able to get back to a normal healthy mindset soon. But need to get through March first.

Somehow, with how casually we took the training for Rocky 50, it didn’t hit me that this was going to be the second hardest race ever, second only to the Ironman in 2018.

The lead up consumed my life a lot less than training three sports, but hike/running sunup to sundown definitely was reminiscent of some of the Ironman long days. Just at lower intensity. The recovery from these training sessions and the race itself was so much less (a week later, I’m pretty happy, the Ironman took like SIX WEEKS). However the day of? Very very difficult effort.

Instead of retyping a lot of things I’ve already put words to, I’m going to copy some of my social media posts leading up to and after the race for posterity.

20 miles at Town Lake -> 20 million lbs of cheese.

A while ago, we saw an eatery (right next to our gym, ?) called Deluca, which is a Brazilian Pizza restaurant. Yes, this is what it sounds like – instead of a steakhouse, they just bring around slices of pizza. We were ultra running curious at that point and said when we did our first 20 miler, we’d come here for dinner.

Well, today was the day. We set out around 1030am, and the weather was impeccable, and so was the people-watching. Most memorable was the end, with a guy standing on the railing of one of the bridges (drenched, as if it wasn’t his first illegal jump) and a dude in a toy tesla truck (NOT a little kid). We started with a “run 0.1 miles, walk 0.4” cadence but started increasing this once we gained a little confidence. Both knees and ankles felt cranky at times, but the broken parts rotated throughout my legs, so that means it was nothing serious and while I am generally sore all over, nothing is too bad. For, ya know, doing 20 miles.

Feeling confident (at least more confident) about the 50k in February. I think if I had someone feeding me through the whole day I coulda kept going. 11 more miles? Well, we’ll find out. And I have a few more of these planned to test this theory.

We finished around 430, and headed home to clean up as quickly as we could and then consumed lobster bisque, arugula salad, meatballs, and I think I counted 13ish small slices by the crusts left… about a small pizza’s worth. The Turkish lamb pizza was the best and I’d go back maybe even for the Ala carte if not the full gluttony.

I die now. I have a personal trainer appointment at 10am tomorrow and I know one thing for sure – it ain’t leg day. ?

First 20 miler (Dec 29th)

Been a really super by-the-books build to a 50k. ?

For example, we had 22 miles on the plan because, idk, it was somewhere between 20, which we did last time, and 31.1, which is race distance. We had tentatively planned to do another long run/walk and picked 25 miles because our longest training runs for a marathon are 20 miles, and then you add 10k on race day. Samesies here.

So, because time is an illusion these days, I had our 25 planned for last week in January, which actually ended up to be Feb 1, which was 7 days out from the race. Oopsies. And the next two weekends don’t really have time for stuff like this, so when I asked @jetsers if he could wrap his head around 3 more miles he pretty much did this ?and our counter went from 17 more miles to 20 more miles at mile 5. Glad I have such an adaptable adventure buddy.

My nutrition plan for the race is basically 2x some kid’s school lunch. I ate two chicken salad sandwiches and two bags of chips, maybe a scoop and a half of tailwind, and a few handfuls of candy. I burned about 2800, ate a little over 1k, and felt pretty good the whole time. Definitely need fewer calories to walk/run than just run.

The first 13 miles were awesome. We started the first 3 faster to warm up, running half a mile, and walking half a mile. Then, we took the whole 10 mile Town Lake loop with the camelback after a change of shoes (I’m breaking in new trail shoes so lots of changes today) with about a .2 mile run, .3 mile walk cadence. By the end, Joel had crampy calves, and sadly a pit stop and nutrition didn’t fix it, so miles 14-20 were mentally rough. I can’t walk as quickly as he can without something cramping myself, but I still possessed the power to run, so I just turned on the headphones and let him pass me, then I caught up and got ahead until he caught me over and over.

The next stop was just after 20 miles and I changed shoes again and we agreed on at least 3 more and somehow finished up 5 just as it was getting a little sketchy to see with my sunglasses on.

Pretty fun day overall, and had the best Indian food for dinner. We ordered 3 entrees and an appetizer. Some came home but not as much as you might think.

Bring it on, Rocky 50k! But… um… not right now, thanks.

Impromptu 25 Miler (Jan 12)

Twelve hours from now, we will attempt to go further on foot than we ever have before! ???? ????

After a lovely morning but also stressful morning of work, we shut it down and started to prepare for tomorrow.

50k race prep is something different:
-Get ice, like 50 lbs of it, so we have enough for the camelback twice even if some melts
-Nap. Totally important part of today
-5k walk back and forth to packet pickup and race briefing, and dropped our drop bags off
-Eating alllll the food. My body somehow knows what it’s in for tomorrow, and I think I ate four full meals today
-Race nutrition prep: using an entire half loaf of bread to make chicken salad sandwiches and sunbutter jellies for Joel White as well as all the chips and candy
-Kinda feels weird laying out a tank top and shorts for a Feb 8th race, but here we are with a high of 83 tomorrow. It’s better than 30 and rainy for a trail race!

Everything is now locked and loaded, all the stuff is packed, and only one more sleep until Rocky 50! Woo!

Day Before Rocky 50 (Feb 7)

Rocky 50… ??

I was unprepared for the adventure that was to be. I mean, I trained for it. But I highly underestimated the difference between the trails I trained on vs the Rocky course. It wasn’t the elevation, as this was pretty mild, but… the roots. They mentioned them but I was like, whatever, trails have tree roots. This course has ROOTS.

For some reason at the start, my legs weren’t feeling fresh and it never really got better, but sometimes that’s what the day gives you. I have no shortage of training on tired legs so it was what it was. Joel thought we forgot his sandwiches in the camper, so we took a .75 mile detour and found they were in his pack. D’oh for both of us forgetting to check. We kept a nice pace the first loop, enjoying the aid station buffets – normally there’s PBJs and fruit and chips and pickles, but bacon at mile 9 and 15 was a treat. I ate my chicken salad sandwiches as planned and noted some candy when spirits got low. I was a hydration champ and even ran my camelback out between the 6 miles between stops, which is not normal for me but I guess that’s what a random 85 degree day in February does.

I also had my first trail fall around mile 14. My foot caught something invisible and I went down… but thanks to 13 years of gymnastics muscle memory kicked in and I just tucked my head and rolled over my shoulder. It freaked Joel out but I was fine (sorta, have a nice little bruise on my shoulder today but it didn’t even register on the list of hurts yesterday) and we proceeded after I unsuccessfully tried to brush the dirt off.

At the halfway we had a little sit and reapplied sunscreen and used the potties and were off again with just about a 12 min stop. Our pace continued to slow but it was what it was. At 18, we stopped on a bench to eat and I took my socks and shoes off to try to clean out some trail gunk as I felt hot spots starting to form. Wildly unsuccessful but it felt nice. By the 21 mile aid station, I was having a rough go of it. With training, I was done or at least almost there and I still had 10 (actually 12 <>) to go and that’s a lot of miles. This one was the highlightfor me as the had super salty ramen AND mashed potatoes made with chicken broth. Not for Joel though. They accidentally fed him a quesadilla with peanut butter, which was bad news since he is highly allergic. I watched him for the next few miles to make sure we didn’t have to call it. Everything was fine. Ish.

This was the low point if the race for me. 21 miles is a lot, and in training I was either done or almost done. I had 10 (actually 12 ><) to go and that’s also a lot of miles. The time between this aid station and the next at 26.5 was approximately 10 years. However after a sit, a refuel and refill, and rubbing some trigger point on my aching knees and back, I felt better.

We left there at 6pm, which was about our anticipated finish, and still had miles to go, and I was thankful we had packed our headlamps just in case. Unfortunately they were both decade+ old, and mine was dim and Joel’s died quickly. So, he used the flashlight on his phone with me behind, calling out each rock, root, muddy spot, whatever. I spent 2.5 hours looking at the ground directly at my feet. It’s honestly the most monofocused I’ve been able to be in a long time. Root. Root. Rock. Mud. Step down. Step up. Nothing existed beyond the two feet in front of me.

So we plodded. And plodded. Root. Root. Rock. Mud. Step. Step. I made an exception to my complaint rule when the girl that passed us said she thought there was 2.5 miles to go and my watch was already at 30 miles. But nothing to do but plod forward in the dark and quiet. Root. Root. Rock. Mud. Up. Down. And then finally the dark became light and there was the finish chute and medals and cake.

More thoughts about the aftermath and the future later, but I am certain this was the second hardest race I’ve ever done, coming in just after the full Ironman in 2018. It’s nice to be back to doing difficult physical challenges again.

Today is about ice packs, relaxing, and eating and drinking all the things.

ROCKY 50 Day (Feb 8)

50k tales continue!

After the race, we hobbled around to collect our stuff and sadly, the drop bags weren’t there yet (next time we’ll probably skip it… if there is a next time). So I convinced Joel not to just take a lazy shower in the sink but an actual shower. I navigated the camper stairs and grabbed shower stuff – he walked the extra quarter mile to the truck, it was only fair, and oh boy, that was an absolutely wonderful crappy campsite shower. After we got our bags, we made microwave cheese enchiladas and had a few beers to ease the ache in our legs and then slept like the dead.

Sunday was an awesome day of reading and napping and eating and repeating all that again. These long efforts at lower intensity are definitely serious in the moment, but recovering is so much easier than running marathons or Ironman, even halfs. My biggest complaint was the giant blister on my toe (might post in the comments, it’s impressive and two days later HASN’T POPPED YET!), some chafing, and yeah, sore muscles, but I’m not hobbling or anything.

All the wonderful calories I consumed didn’t mix well, and I was up for a few hours feeling icky last night, but I woke up today feeling great! We had a nice, eventful ride home, stopping at a gas station burger shop that was AMAZING (all the beef came from the ranch behind it). And now, we’re unpacked, showered, and having one last hurrah at Pinthouse Pizza before calories matter again tomorrow.

My thoughts on 50ks: I am pretty sure this isn’t a one and done for Ultramarathons, but I’d also like to get stronger on trails first at shorter distances before I try again. Eyeing the half marathon we did in June last year as the next trail race (mostly for the excuse to camp again). Playing on trails for the morning sounds nice. Thirteen hours was a lot. ?

For now, hikes and walks get to go back to being for fun/activity, and after a week or two, I may reintroduce myself to my bike and the pool.

ROCKY 50 After the RAce and day after (FEB 8-9)

And a week later, admittedly a week of just walking and weights, we went on a 12-mile Walko Taco and I’m prepping to return to running tomorrow. All in all, it was a pretty cool experience to push myself that far again. A nice reminder that I can do the difficult stuff physically, even if I may not be in the peak physical condition I was pre-pandemic. I’m looking forward, as I said last post, to establishing more consistency vs the “weekend warrior” type training we did for this race, but it was super fun to go out and spend 4, 6, 8… 13 hours on our feet persistently moving forward to remember that sometimes, it’s just all about being too stubborn to quit.

I had a feeling this year wasn’t going to start out hardcore progress towards weight loss.

Let’s not call me a pessimist, but a realist. And, shocker, REALISM won out over progress.

• Week 1: surprise visit from the parent parent company CEO. Ended up being a very nice meet and greet, but it added a twist to what’s normally a week of just remembering how to human again after the holidays. Cold AF weather. Also, impromptu 25-mile training day when I realized that it was my last chance with the coming weeks ahead.
• Week 2: Theater outing and then a trip to Houston for a wedding. Less activity and more “sometimes food” than normal. Also, work begins to escalate.
• Week 3: More cold AF weather. Work ramps up to insane levels of insanity, we have D&D night and hosting the parents in the same weekend (social overextension, engage!)
• Week 4: Work gets even more stressful, last training day of 10 miles, allergies hit hardcore in Austin and I want to die.
• Week 5: Weather drama! 50k race! (post forthcoming) Work stress! Oh my!
• Week 6: 50k race recovery and uh… nonsense. More cold AF weather. Work reaches a crescendo where it feels like a four-day work week was at least two months. But… there is light at the end of the tunnel as some things have come to a conclusion.

So, here we are approaching Week 7, where it’s time to reset, stop the nonsense, stop making excuses, and get with the program, and make some progress. Now, to be fair, there needs to be a program again to get with. This has been solved.

#1 The unwanted kettlebell

I maybe had one week where I did good, every other week has been… eh. Either I’ve fallen off tracking or at least failed at keeping the numbers in balance. I have proven to myself time and time again if I don’t measure what I eat, I will overeat and gain weight. It’s just the price I have to pay to be me. It’s no big deal if I keep up with it every day, taking wayyyyy less time than doomscrolling or my Duolingo sessions. So, back to it. No excuses. 1200 calories + activity (and looking to average about 1500-2000/day depending on what I’m doing now that I’m not doing 5+ hour training sessions with some weekdays where I’m only walking 1 mile – workouts should have more consistency).

Due to various reasons above, I haven’t had that chat with whiskey yet. That happens today and the pins come out. I have a set number of drinks I’ll let myself have in a week, and each time I have one, I move the safety pin out of a glass in my kitchen. When the glass is empty… I’m done for the week (just like calories – when my calorie bank account is gone, I’m done eating for the day).

I have been so/so on lots of fruit and veggies. When I go out of town it disrupts my normal eating, and then also disrupts when I do a grocery order/get Snap Kitchen. Both trips we put off getting groceries a whole week. I need to aim to replenish my produce quicker once I’m back or I end up eating junk/takeout. The good news is that when I’ve taken my blood pressure, I’ve been normal. The one thing I have stuck with is not salting my food, and that seems to have been enough to keep that in line.

So, the big thing here is just go back to measuring things and re-establish the good habits. Today honestly feels more like New Years Day than Jan 1 did because I knew what I was up against early in the year. I mean, it’s not going to stop and it’s never going to be the perfect time. I’ve got March coming up which is always challenging (everyone’s birthdays! I’m going to GDC this year! office grand opening so we will have EVENTS! so many social obligations I’m already dreading the overextension!), but I have a few weeks to get there with some better practices and momentum. So, let’s make that happen by focusing on those.

#2 Sporty Stuff

Now that we’ve conquered the 50k, training will go back to being more reasonable than 5 to 8-hour hike/walks. I’m actually excited to get back to a little bit of triathlon training, if for no other reason than the variety. Trails have made me super strong and sturdy, so I don’t want to give them up completely, but maybe once a month for the hikes and for a few hours instead of most weekends for half of the day, and for fun, not trying to keep a specific pace.

I also am ready to re-acquaint myself with my bike (and possibly swimming). I can count on one hand the number of times I rode my bike since Kerrville, and I don’t need any fingers to count my trips to the pool (zero). I had thought PERHAPS I’d just gravitate towards one or both of those for extra inside activity but hopes and thoughts here did not work.

I need a plan. So, I’ll do that. Here’s what my next week will look like:

Week 1. Weather sucks Wed-Fri (Sat may be a little cold but not quite as bad).

• Monday – Run 5k, walk to the gym and back, lift chest and shoulders
• Tuesday – Bike 30 mins, walk 1+ mile
• Wednesday – lift back and biceps at home, walk 1 mile on the treadmill
• Thursday – Bike 30 mins, walk 1 mile on the treadmill
• Friday – lift legs with trainer, swim (???), walk mile inside
• Saturday – 5k+ run, walk a mile
• Sunday – walk

And now, let’s be honest about all the challenges to do this and get back to a calorie deficit.

• Monday – weather will be beautiful, and I have the day off. No excuses here.
• Tuesday – I’ll do the bike in the morning, so I don’t skip it. Weather looks nice for a walk outside so that should be enjoyable.
• Wednesday – Weather will suck, so not planning to leave the house for workouts. I can do all this between meetings at home.
• Thursday – Weather will suck, so I’ll do this in the morning at home so there are no excuses later.
  • We have a filmed interview that afternoon for work and a happy hour. I’ll plan to eat healthy foods at home (no going out for lunch or dinner too) and enjoy a few drinks as the calories allow.
• Friday – Weather will suck so this will all be inside. I have a trainer appointment anyway so I’m going to at least bring my swim stuff and TRY to swim.
  • D&D after work which means snacks. I’ll stick with the least offensive calories ones (pretzels/veggies/dip) and not buy anything fancy. Something like a big salad and brothy soup for dinner so I’m full on less calories than a normal meal.
• Saturday – I want to run so I will suck it up in what will be something like 40-ish degrees, with a walk cool down.
  • Family day. Woof. This one is difficult. Big meal, dessert, and in proximity to second helpings and snacks for 6+ hours. So, I guess I’ll make it a game. Every hour, I can pick at something but no more than that. If we eat lunch at noon, I can have a spoonful of extra veggies at 1. I can have a bite of chex mix at 2. I can pick up an extra slice of protein at 3. And… a small slice of whatever is dessert. I always feel sick after eating sweets, I really just want a taste not a full serving.
  • After the previous 3 days I will be socially overextended so plan some calories for a few drinks while reading my book and not talking to anyone.
• Sunday – Day off of everything (besides walking). Make sure to have a plan for Sunday morning food that fits in the calorie budget instead of ordering whatever for delivery. It does look really nice for a walk though, so enjoy it!

Yeah, it’s a lot. But at least thinking through what the week will entail helps me anticipate the situations where my plan will go off the rails. Weirdly enough, the week after has beautiful weather and NO social obligations, so it may look more like this:

• Monday – 5k run, walk to gym after work and lift back and biceps
• Tuesday – 30 min bike morning, 1+ mile walk after work
• Wednesday – lift legs at home, 1+ mile walk at lunch/after work
• Thursday – 5k run, 1+ mile walk at lunch/after work
• Friday – walk to gym, trainer chest and shoulders, swim
• Saturday – bike ride outside for the first time in forever
• Sunday – beautiful walk in the sunshine

…but, we always want to reset the plan the weekend before because who knows, I could have a long lost relative come into town or the opportunity to fly to Fiji or nuclear winter could happen (in which case, I probably have bigger problems).

Another thing that helps with this is using our “The Plan” spreadsheet where we would put all this stuff before, so it wasn’t a surprise what we were eating or doing or how we were working out that day. So, I’ve resurrected that as well.

In terms of the other stuff:

#3 Adulting

• We (mostly Joel!) cleaned out the nonsense in the cubby under the coffee table one day. It’s been bugging me for years. Most things were just junk but found some gems (old game CDs, etc).
• All the goodwill stuff went to goodwill, and the Christmas stuff got taken down… later than I’d like to admit but we got there!
• Doctors!
  • I had my checkup (I am a healthy human specimen, yay)
  • Had my pre-visit for the 45-year-old thing (colonoscopy) which I will have in April like a good girl even though I really wanted to just go for the “poop in a box” route (at least will do the actual procedure for the first one)
  • Had my moles checked and none are worrisome. Also yay!
• Lots of truck and camper drama to get us to the 50k race (again, mostly Joel) but everything is taken care of now.

For the next two weeks, I’m going to focus on the first two goals (building good habits) rather than more chores, but I do have some spring things I’d like to do so we’ll get back to that soon.

#4 Fun Stuff

I have been MOSTLY consumed with work, prepping for the 50k, cranky because of the weather and other stuff, and feeling socially overextended so I haven’t done a ton here. But, to not sell myself completely short:

• Saw two theater productions – Clue and Les Miserables
• Weekend trip to Houston for a wedding and a day of sightseeing in the city
• D&D with friends (and again this week)
• Family day (and again this week)
• Worked on the book at least once (and planning to this weekend as well)
• Picked up the guitar a little bit, but annoyed with the state of my office and the state of my guitars
• Some photo editing in there as well but definitely not that much
• Camping trip to Huntsville TX for the 50k race and relaxing after
• Walko Taco Day #2!

I have spent a lot more time reading and staring off into space to relax vs creating. It’s ok. It feels like the circle is coming around again. I shall restate my intentions and move along:

• 1 hour minimum of book work per week (more is great, but not to any point where I feel frustrated or burnt out)
• 1 guitar song per WFH day
• Get back to editing some photos while watching silly TV or just as a way to wind down after work vs doomscrolling

I think everything else waits a bit to be in focus. Trying to do all the things at once usually fails spectacularly.

#5 Work/Life Balance

This was absolute rubbish the last few weeks. I worked a full day in Houston only quitting an hour before leaving for the wedding. I reversed half a PTO day the day before the 50k because I just couldn’t NOT work. These were acute issues that have since resolved themselves, but it sucked that I couldn’t do a trip without work yet this year.

In the next two weeks, I resolve to swing the other way – putting work in a box when I leave and picking it up the next business day FOR REALS. I have done a good by keeping a solid to do list, have occasionally shut down Teams chats long enough to get focused work done instead of doing it badly while distracted, and I did schedule myself the 4pm hour daily basically to strategize on problems I don’t have time for otherwise, do correspondence I’ve been putting off, update my To Do list, and start winding down for the day. Not to say I can always leave by 5, but it’s the start of my wrap up most days.

So, yeah. February (the rest of it at least):

• Track the food, track the booze/empty calories (and aim for less of it), treat both things like a bank account that cannot be borrowed against. Make a food plan.
• Make biking and swimming a thing again and follow the workout plan.
• PLAN PLAN PLAN instead of winging it and then being surprised when things surprise me.
• 1 hour/week on the book, edit some photos, pick up the guitar but like the first three things on this list are the most important.

…and then we will deal with March things in March and figure out how to navigate birthday and traveling fun times without killing my momentum. But first, establishing that momentum with New Years Day Take Two!

Usually around the first few days of January, I do this big, long post with all my ambitious yearly goals.

I meant to do it, like, at least 15 days ago if not 20. I was thinking about it. And then… I just kinda got busy doin’ stuff over the end of my holiday break and it didn’t happen. Let’s at least rectify that in a half assed way on January 20th, shall we? *Ahem*. Let’s start up the goal machine! Does it look very similar to last year? Yep. We call that… CONSISTENCY!!!

#1 The small kettlebell I’m carrying around that I don’t want to be.

While trying to lose weight continues to feel like banging my head against a brick wall, the other option is giving up, which is not going to happen. I did that for like a month in December, and I gained back most of what I lost last year. Bad idea, 2/10, do not recommend. So… here we go again!

• Track food daily, aiming for 1200 calories + activity, averaging out to this or lower on a weekly basis
• Many, and many different types of vegetables, and reintroducing fruit into my life as snacks
• Breakfast salads are the bomb, keep up this trend
• My favorite brown relaxant (whiskey) and I need to have a talk. As is per usual, I spent the end of the year stressing, then celebrating, so we spent a little too much time together. We need to set some boundaries with each other.

Like, I know how to make all this work. It’s just maddeningly difficult to put into practice with enough consistency to make progress. Usually in January I sound so hopeful about this. This year, I’m just not. I don’t have a number goal because it feels futile. Regardless, we shall continue on, rebuilding the good habits I had in months like last Jan/Feb and Nov, where I started to see progress, and see if I can keep these practices up more months than not to get some momentum that I can’t manage to undo in a month.

#2 Sporty Sports Goals

This is a fun one because my big scary goal is scheduled in 3 weeks. Yep, just getting that 50k out of the way February 8th! Then, the name of the game is, you guessed it, CONSISTENCY. Right now, we’re doing these big, long weekend hike/run things where I’m recovering for half the week after (just walking). When I get back to shorter stuff, I can run (bike?) (swim??) almost every day for 30-60mins instead of just being a weekend warrior (better for injury prevention, fitness, and calorie burn). Not that I’m not having fun doing what I’m doing right now… I totally am. But I’m ready for long days to be like 2-3 hours vs 7 and to have non-walk activities on the calendar more days than not.

So… goals.

• Complete a 50k trail race
• Continue to lift 3x week and walk at least a mile per day (since the treadmill is now in play for this streak, I need to be extremely injured or on my deathbed to break it)
• Maintain run fitness so a 10k run wouldn’t be a stretch (maybe a little bit of a stretch between July and Sept because of the weather but not too much of one)
• Bring biking and swimming back into my life in Spring (like once a week? just so the tri training in summer isn’t a shock to the system)
• Race a triathlon in Sept
• Figure out what other races I’d like to do and sign up for some stuff! More tris? Road races? More trails? A… bike ride? Who knows?

I don’t see this as a “smashing PRs” year, I think I’d be really happy just to stay relatively injury free and maintain some good fitness. Maybe that mindset will change throughout later on but I’m happy to complete a 50k then just kinda have some random race goals to keep me active and fit and burning calories CONSISTENTLY.

#3 Adulting

The year started off with some major adulting when a rodent utterly and completely chewed through our 2012 Xterra’s wiring and totaled the car, so we had to replace it. We weren’t happy about the unplanned cost and were fine with what we had, but now we have Truck Truck (final name TBD) and absolutely love it. You wouldn’t think that a truck could feel like an absolute luxury vehicle, but it does! It can start with an app, basically can drive itself, and is soooo comfortable. And unless we get a 4-bedroom trailer or something, it can tow darn near anything reasonable if/when upgrade the lunar lander.

Even though we went with the cheapest (new) option that could comfortably tow what we wanted, it was still a large chunk of change, so we are probably going to hold off on big new expensive projects this year. But still… stuffs we’d like to do

• Even though the truck can’t fit in the garage, we still need to clean it out – this is a spring goal (once it’s not cold AF and also once we move Joel’s work office stuff back into his work office)
• Same spring timeline – also get everything cleaned out of my office that is not my work stuff, music stuff, or retro gaming once I can move my work office stuff back to the work office.
• Joel’s office set up – but I am letting him set the goals, the timeline, and when he’s happy with it. Til then, we’ll just close the door when company comes over 🙂
• Small cleanouts:
  • The coffee table and the end table drawers
  • The bar cabinets – probably don’t need stuff we haven’t used/drank in 10 years!
  • Probably some other stuff

We usually do this stuff in a fit of motivation over the holidays. Hopefully, we can make some time to do this stuff by doing what we did over vacation – spending an hour or two on it just to get some progress made instead of it being this big scary thing we need to start and finish.

In non-decluttering goals:

• Consult with a retirement planner instead of just Wealthfront’s chart to make sure we’re on track.
• Figure out WTF to do with the pool. When it came down this year it wasn’t completely broken but wasn’t in the best shape either. Live with it? Get a new cheapo pool? Get a new nicer pool? See above with the “already spent a lot on the truck” but we kinda need want something.

I’m not sure I have any other major adulting to do. I’m caught up on my Dr. appointments (I do owe myself a vision appt but I’m only a month or two late on this). I’m even getting myself a referral to a dermatologist to start doing the mole checks again next month since I’m out in the sun a lot. Look at me, being responsible!

At some point, we want to redo the flooring and redo the patio, but for now, I think that’s future us’s projects. On the horizon, we also would like to consider an investment property of some sort to have passive income as a safety net/retirement plan, but I also don’t feel like the time and climate in 2025 is right for this one yet but obvs will stay open to opportunities if they fall in our laps.

#4 Fun Stuff!

It’s super fun to predict travel and then see how it actually pans out, so here we go:

• Houston weekend (wedding) in January (just got back!)
• 50k race/camping in Huntsville, TX (Feb)
• Another camping trip in spring TBD
• Bonaire diving trip in Apr/May/June
• 4th of July camping trip at Krause Springs
• If we go to EU for work: mediterranean cruise
• Kerrville camping for the race in Sept
• If we don’t go to EU for work: Oct fall foliage cruise on the east coast

I think this about uses up my vacation time if I plan to take Thanksgiving week and some time at Christmas off as well, but I can certainly see the possibility of some shorter camping/weekend trips not planned here. There is a small chance I might end up in the Philippines for work, which would mean a diving trip there (instead of the cruises, probably), so we’re not booking anything yet and are open to pivots.

I also keep having this idea of “vacationing in Austin” – getting a hotel downtown and doing the touristy things I haven’t done yet. Could I do this without a hotel downtown? Sure. I live less than 10 miles away. Will I? Probably not. I’m an enigma, I know, but vacation mindset (go see/do all the things) is so different than home mindset (let’s workout, work, relax, stay close to home, etc) and I think it will take staying right in the middle of all that so it’s all a walk away, not a drive, to make it happen.

In other hobbyist pursuits – I have enough going on that I don’t need to stress myself out about turning these into side hustles with progress checkpoints, but it’s also fun to see where I am in a year with various things and keep myself motivated to do these things vs scroll social media incessantly, so here’s some words!

• Pace myself with my writing, doing it consistently enough so I can pick it up and make an hour of progress on it at a time (not taking 1 hour to get back into it because I put it down for a month). I’d like to finish book 3 for sure (that’s a softball goal) and there’s no reason I shouldn’t be able to at least have a great start and/or finish book 4 in a year, but consistency is the most important thing here.
• Guitar – my goal is to play one song every WFH day. Right now, I’m getting my callouses back so that’s all I can really tolerate. But… hey, consistency. Also, probably more under adulting, I need to get the electric repaired (which is what made me stop playing in the first place last year).
• Photo editing – I’d like to have all 2024 projects done before I go to Bonaire, then after that just not get too far behind. Also, at some point, I should figure out something to do with all these pictures I’m editing but for now, they can live on Facebook, my hard drive, and my backup hard drive. 🙂
• Play lots of Warhammer games with Joel with a goal to have fun and learn the rules. Don’t focus on winning, I mean, winning is nice, but we are SPARRING. My ego isn’t so fragile I have to be the champion at everything.
• Painting? Do I do this anymore? I just have been diverting my creative time to other things, I suppose, but would be nice to pick up a brush this year. Maybe just make the goal to paint my bloodbowl team that’s still in the box a year later.

I’d also like to continue to do stupid stuff like Walko Taco (15 mile walk to all the taco carts in the area) and go to the Taco Museum and otherwise be slightly less of a hermit and go out with friends on the weekends occasionally. Maybe for tacos because that seems to be a theme. But doing random silly stuff because we are silly makes life worth living.

#5 – (Mental) Work Life Balance

I have done a pretty good job establishing great work/life balance in 2024 in terms of work hours, taking time off, etc. However, sometimes I’ll keep work problems with me mentally over nights/weekends and ruminate on it and get cranky about it and it will really affect my mood and productivity and cause me to lose motivation on both work and non-work things. I used to be really great about putting that stuff in a box and taking it back out during office hours. I dunno if I can be THAT perfect about it again, I have a little more of the weight of the world on my shoulders in this position, but I don’t need to sit on the couch on Sunday night when I’m trying to relax and instead overthinking strategy on how to fix whatever the current issue is (and then feel burnt out on Monday when I should be rested and ready to tackle it).

So, my work/life balance goal is to do better at putting work away MENTALLY when I’m done for the day. Maybe schedule me 30 mins every workday to ruminate on the problems instead? Like, can you schedule worrying? If you call it strategizing, of course you can, right? Otherwise, maybe only let myself do that while I’m running or swimming (both great places for me to solve the world’s problems).

So, after putting this together, I think 2025 is about consistency. Track the food daily. Do the workouts that keep me active daily. Clean something out, or at least do some of it every few weekends. Write for an hour most weekends. Play a song every WFH day. Pass on having drinks once a week or every other week when I usually would. Meditate most workdays. Little actions make habits eventually, good or bad ones, and I’m aiming to keep the good and ditch the bad in this year of CONSISTENCY.