Adjusted Reality

Settle in, this one will be a long post.  Get yourself a cuppa something and come back… we’ll wait.

Ok.  So, while the overall year goal is 24 races in 12 months, and we wanted to complete the Texas Tri Series (done!!!), and I wanted to do a century ride and a marathon (6 weeks left, ieeee!), this was really my biggest goal race of the year.  Ever since I bagged the second attempt at marathon training in January, I have been focused on ramping up from a sprint triathlete who did one olympic two years ago and pretty much died after to having half ironman endurance.

I knew it would be a long road so I did lots of run training and ran multiple half marathons until  was extremely familiar with the distance, and really didn’t ever drop below being able to bust out a half at any time.  Then, the bike.  I had only done one ride last year over 30 miles, and certainly hadn’t done anything before or after it, I was pooped.  I ripped that bandaid off pretty quickly doing two century rides in the spring that I really, really wasn’t ready for.  I got through them, but I was so wiped after I didn’t know how I was going to take my bike shorts off, let alone run a half marathon after.  The swim I was comfortable with, but I knew I could use some form improvement so I was less tired after even if I wasn’t faster.

Long story, well, still long but less War-and-Peace-like, we got a trainer and rode at the lake and rode the veloway and did a hilly group ride and rode on the trainer some more and finally about a month ago I really had confidence that I had this shit.  It took six months of training, but the key workouts I finished that really boosted my confidence were – the two century rides for sure, but then the really hilly 30 mile bike + 10 mile run in the heat, the 56 mile trainer + 13 mile run (with 120 miles of trainer the next week), the 50 mile outdoor ride at the veloway where I finally proved to myself I can keep a decent (15mph) pace, the Olympic tri (where I didn’t die after, I was training again the next day), and finally the great 16 miles outside in Seattle (not blogged yet, sorry, September was just that epic I’m still catching up), where I proved that my slowness/wussiness on the run really was heat induced.  Those made it easy to forget shitty sprint races and rough training sessions.

I was paranoid as fuck though this week so it helped a bit with my taper crazies.  Everyone at work was sick this week.  I threw my lower back out Sunday cleaning, but a trip to the chirocracker fixed me up.  Then, on Thursday’s easy 4 miler, I had something in my eye and I kept fucking with it and on my last workout before the race – I popped out my upper back.  Back to the chiro Friday, and she said it was really out.  She said it would likely have fixed itself on the swim, but there was a chance that I could have made it worse and really painful.  I was totally ok with a 20 dollar copay not to play the odds.  I spent a lot of time refusing to do anything but couch, ice, electro-shock, and take valerian root and requiring Zliten massages every night which he gave out like a trooper.  Laziness FTW!

Also, I spent a fair amount of time weather-stalking.  There was rain in the forecast but it was supposed to clear up before the race and be a low of ~60 and a high of 78.  Unicorns and rainbows in my perspective.

By Saturday when we left I felt better.  The drive was uneventful, we picked up our packets, dropped our bikes off, drove the bike course (and got incredibly lost so it took almost as long as it did by bike), checked into the hotel, and dropped our T2 bags off.  The day’s work being done, we had a traditional pre-race meal (salad, bread, filet mignon, and mashed potatoes) and ordered some to-go desert for the next day (carrot cake for me, buttermilk pie for Zliten), and shared some spumoni ice cream.  We figured we were ordering a scoop, and this is what we got.

We took half that to go too.  Didn’t want an icky belly.  We settled in bed early, drank some sleepy juice and watched TV and dorked on the tablets.  We were sharing one uncomfortable queen bed, so it wasn’t great sleep, but sleep it was, and we woke up and got going.  I maintained being 90% excited and 10% nervous the whole time, and I just couldn’t stop saying “it’s here, it’s here, it’s here” and dancing around.  I knew one of the major things I had to do was just get myself to the race with no injury (close call), no illness, a working bike, and a good attitude, and the rest would sort itself out race day.

We did a warmup run, I ate as much as I could stomach (a PR bar, half a honeymilk in my tea, and we hit the breakfast buffet and I nommed some fruit loops and a piece of bacon), pooped a bit, then walked down to set up T1 (it was right outside the hotel which was AWESOME) and they were playing gangahm style and I danced around a bit, went back to the hotel to drop stuff off and try to poop again, and got back in time to turn on my garmin, try to poop one more time, and hear the national anthem and it was time to race!  They weren’t letting people in to do warmup swims which made me sad but it was what it was.

It was definitely a different caliber of folks here than the normal tri – lots of Mdot tattoos, my bike was probably the cheapest by far on the rack, I was one of only a few non-wetsuit people (its usually too hot for a wetsuit in the TX).  I suppose in a different mindset that could have psyched me out but I was really set on running (tri-ing?) my own race.  It was me + the course.  Everyone else could do what they would.

Zliten’s wave was only 4 minutes before mine, so after hugs and kisses he went to do his half ironman thing and I put in my earplugs and focused on the day to come.  That was new this race – get used to hearing me be dumb and trying new things on my biggest race ever, but all for reasons.  I don’t swim well to my left side without earplugs due to water in that ear bugging me, and with my back being all wonky,  I didn’t want to aggravate it.  It worked like a charm though.  I was afraid that I couldn’t hear or they’d be annoying to deal with but I had no issues.

All of a sudden we were in the water, I started near the back since I wanted to start conservatively, and the horn went off and we were swimming.

It was really really really nice to be able to swim to both sides, but I think it slowed me down, as the only time I do a 3-stroke is slow recovery swimming in the pool, and it took me a while to break out of that and get to something like a race pace.  As I suspected, the first ~500yd out I was like “woe is me, everyone is passing me, I must be the last one in my wave”, then after the turn around I started realizing that people were way spread out and I was indeed not the last one, passing people, and even some people in waves ahead of me.  So I felt better.  The only thing, besides just going a little faster, that I would change was my brain.  I kept thinking about the bike and the run, that I still had a long day ahead of me, and I was ready to be done swimming so I could get on with it.  I also had stupid gangahm style in my head which is not useful because I don’t know the words, and it kinda annoyed me.

Then, about halfway through, I got myself out of that and realized that I loved swimming, I loved swimming in that lake, and there was a long day of AWESOME ahead of me.  Apparently I passed Zliten (he said he saw me) around the ~1500m turn around, swam strong into the finish, got righted by the glorious volunteer helper people, got my earplugs, swim cap and goggles off, put my sandals on my princess feet, and jogged up the hill.

Swim: 53:55 for 1.2 miles.  Slow and steady.  Not quite the 50 I was looking for, but still solid.

When I got my sandals, I noticed Zlitens were still there, and I was surprised not to see him in T1, but hey, I must have had a decent swim then!  I took the extra 30 seconds to put on my arm warmers as it was still in the 60s, did my normal transition-y stuff, piled everything into the T1 bag, and clomped off to start the second leg.

T1: 4:15.  Again, could have been faster, but I struggled with my arm warmers for a bit and took it a little slower than normal because – hey, it was going to be a long day.  Less than the 5 minutes I allowed myself.

On the bike, I noted that I wasn’t nearly as cold as last year.  The arm warmers were totally worth the extra time.  I chatted with a few people as I got going and threw a chompy in my mouth.  Sadly, one person blew past me and then just totally wrecked into the curb on the first mile.  She was ok, but dang… not a great way to start the leg.  The course was essentially a slight 14 mile downhill and then a 14 mile slight uphill.  It was pretty flat as courses go but there were a few things in the back half to be ready for (thank goodness for driving the course).  It was a little confidence busting that I didn’t pass a single person in that 14 mile downhill stretch but a) I was making it a point to ride conservative the first loop and b) I had a 19.5 mph pace.  I wasn’t coasting along.  So on I went.

As we went to the back hilly half, I finally passed my first person, and started turning on some effort.  I warned people when we got close to the sneaky hills – one was across a bridge and then up around a turny corner that you couldn’t see, and there were two more like that later in the course.  Nothing I couldn’t handle, and nothing like carnage, but I did have to get out of my seat on the last two for a bit.  No big d.  I was feeling great, and by the time we met up with the sprint course I was 3 miles from being half done with the bike, and had a great pace – if  could keep the same pace on the second loop I’d be around 3:10 – 20 mins earlier than my A goal.   I got super jazzed and had a shit eating grin even up the last big hill and around to the finish/lap 2 split.  One of the pro women passed me as she was coming in for the run, which made me happy – she was the only woman who lapped me! 🙂

On the second lap it got a little lonely.  Everyone in the pack with me was on the Olympic, which was one loop, and I couldn’t see anyone ahead of me for miles.  Also, it started spitting and the wind changed to be at my face.  I was ok with it since it was downhill, but I didn’t pick up nearly as much speed as I did the first time.  I got back up to 17.5 average from 16.5, but I knew I was going to have to book it on the back half to make up the time.  And then the wind changed again.  In my face.  Rude, rude, rude.  I encountered many loopy people, some were talking to themselves or singing to themselves, but so was I, so we were in good and looney company.

Also, very proud that I spent a lot of time (~10 miles?) in aero.  I am not very comfortable in aero on roads, but it got to the point where I needed to switch around how I sat and I feel like I leveled up a bit on aero-ing yesterday.  I still need to play with the fit and I may want to switch out my curvy handles for straight ones, but it was working for me.

I started losing track of eating, though, anytime I realized that I ate something, so I got down two packages of chomps, half a pack of honeystinger chews, and most of a honeystinger waffle (some of which fell as a sacrifice to the road gods), and I felt nice and fueled even if I didn’t stick to my strict every 2-3 miles put food in my face plan.  I also never got off the bike to pee or get aid and had what I needed so I never had to make a bottle grab, so that was good.

Also, 2+ hours on the bike started wreaking havoc on first my lower back, and then I really felt my quads tighten and then start hurting. It really became clear to me that a) I need become more comfortable with 50+ miles.  I feel great with 30-40, but I only did a handful longer than that, and ~45 is where I started to break down.  Since I had been having back issues that week, I put an emergency “cocktail” of 2 ibuprofen and 2 303s (herbal muscle relaxers) in my bento box just in case of emergency.  I’ve never taken either during exercise but figured having would be better than not.

By mile 50 I convinced myself that this was an emergency.  My back and quads were feeling pretty rough.  I didn’t know how I would make it through a half marathon.  So I grabbed it out and was about to take it and realized I don’t have those skillz on the bike.  I reminded myself to take them in transition.  I would have a waterbottle in transition.  Don’t be a dummy and forget to take them in transition I repeated to myself.

I got through the last 6 miles as fast as I could and didn’t drop below 16 mph avg (my A goal) until right when I hit transition.  Considering my centuries earlier this year were both above 5 hours for 5-10 miles more, I was stoked.

Bike: 3:31:23.  Nailed it. ~1 min over A goal is just fine with me.

In transition, I stripped off the arm warmers (they stayed up the whole time and made me extremely happysmiley), popped my cocktail, chugged a little extra nuun as my camelback had run out at 54 (perfect timing), did my normal transition-y stuff and headed out, shuffling, and hoping that I could knock out a decent half marathon.

T2: 4:09.  Way slower than normal, but I was fiddling with pills and arm warmers and a little shell shocked from 4.5 hours of DOING.  Still under the 5 mins I had allowed myself.

Something strange happened.  I got out on the run and I WAS FINE.  The pills couldn’t have kicked in yet, but the work I did to really try to keep my calves and hammies fresh on the bike and only waste my quads really worked.  I was out and down the first hill fast (well, 10-somethings – more than I had hoped for).  I realized I was feeling a little nauseous so I backed off on any nutrtion as gatorade or coke wasn’t really working, chomps or gels sounded like the worst things ever, fruit slices sounded soooooo good but didn’t sit well, and pretzels just got spit out.

I finally saw Zliten coming back from my first loop, and he looked rough.  He said “loop 1?” and I said “me too”, and I saw him each time and we high fived and exchanged words each time.  I was hoping I could catch him on a loop and run with him for a while but we were just off enough that I would have had to really book or he would have had to slow down a lot and that never happened.

I was doing great though, my pace was around 11:10s and the painkillers had kicked in.  I was loose, happy, not feeling any ill, and each mile that ticked off, I was like, ok, 13-n more like that, and kept plugging away feeling strong.  Then, around mile 5.5 the lack of nutrition hit hard and I got a little dizzy on the second loop uphill.  Nausea I can race through, but I take dizziness seriously, so I made plans to walk the next aid station and got two orange slices and gatorade.  At a walk pace, I was able to get them down and felt better.

On loop three it was clear I wasn’t going to be able to book through 11 minute miles.  If I wanted to finish, I had to take it slower.  I walked each aide station, getting down as many calories as I could in orange slices and gatorade, and then shuffled along.  Then, apparently, all the acidity of the oranges (plus maybe the ibuprofen?) just wreaked havoc on my stomach, so it became walk when I had to, run when I could.

But the thing I’m damn fucking proud of is I never let it get me down.  I was smiling and joking with the volunteers, dancing at the girl playing LMFAO on the sidelines, and smiling and feeling (besides the obvious issues) great!  Even though I saw my under 7 goal slipping away, I knew it wasn’t just me being a wuss and damned if I wasn’t going to enjoy my day.  I rounded the turnaround the final time and was pumped!  I ran down the hill only stopping for the aid station, hi fived all the volunteers, walked when I had to, ran when I could, and told everyone on the way back that I would see them next year and tried to run all the way uphill.   I had to stop for a bit as Cthulhu had definitely taken root in my stomach, but around 12.6 I went for it and took off with all I had, giving the horns and cheering, and hi-5ing everyone along the way.  I ran through that chute with my hands up and celebrated!  Oh my god I actually did it!

Run: 2:50:29 (13 min/mile)  It is what it is.  I need to work on nutrition on the run as while I can rock a half with nothing in my belly, after 4.5 hours of swim/bike, not so much.  Also, need to train and try the muscle relaxers and/or ibuprofen to see if that’s what did it.

Total time: 7:24:13.  I finished!  In like, over an hour and a half after the cutoff!  And I smiled and kept a great attitude the whole way.  Being my first, it’s an auto-PR.  It will be easy to beat next year (I am so doing another 70.3 next year).  I stayed mentally in it and made the best decisions that I could at each moment to finish strong and smiling and thrilled about racing and proud of what I had done to get there.

However, my tummy issues sadly didn’t go away.  I got my medal and the chip off and I was HUNGRY.  I went to the food line, and just couldn’t wait, so I grabbed some beanito chips and took my water and sat waiting for Zliten.  I ate some chips, felt ill, drank water, cheered on finishers, got hungry and then went OMG chips, ate more, felt sick, cheered on people, went OMG chips and kept up that cycle.  I saw him as I was about to finish and he was on his last lap and he said that it might be another hour until he finished at his pace so I knew I might have a wait but I kept hoping he just picked up his pace.

Finally, I saw him at a distance shuffling and I went and ran him in (my legs were working! yay!) and he said he was going to be ill and asked me the best place and I said I didn’t know, off to the side somewhere?  I split off to give him his finish and asked the guy at the finish where I could get into the finisher area and he said just to go through the finish line since it thinned out and I ran up and did the hands up things again (after he did) and the volunteers were confused because I had a medal and no chip and I told them I was running someone in and they told me just to go through again.  So I will have two finisher pics!  Whee!

He went to the med tent and got ice and held his cookies down.  We tried to get food which wasn’t working for either of us, but then we got beer, which is the first thing my belly liked since the bike all day, so I got down two of those.  We checked our results and got times, and had a little post race de-briefing on the benches together, and then realized we had to deal with our bikes.  In that they were 2 miles away from the hotel and we had no vehicle and the shuttles had stopped.  We were lucky enough to happen on some kind triathletes that took Zliten and his bike to the hotel while he got the car, and I chilled out on the sidewalk and cheered in the last finishers.  He collected me, and we went back to the hotel to get some of the most wonderful and painful (chafing, chafing everywhere, and why the fuck did I forget SUNSCREEN) showers of our lives.

We wanted nothing to do with our to-go deserts (a day full of nothing but sweet calories does that), so we got some tacos to go, which were probably just above taco bell quality, but OH MY GOD THEY WERE THE BEST TACOS I EVER HAD.  I was happy dancy (oh god tummy) happy dancy, but Zliten was a half a dude.  We shared a bottle of champagne and talked (mostly me talking and he nodded a lot) and then grabbed some drinks, and neither of us could get them down. 70.3 was officially the first distance we couldn’t party after.  We ordered to go from the restaurant at the hotel and ate a little of it (went between OMG SO HUNGRY and OH SO SICK every few bites) and then passed out.

I slept fitfully (crappy small bed, sunburn, tummy issues) and then got up, got some breakfast buffet (bacon, biscuits, and hash browns which were awesome, and then a glass of juice which made me sick again due to the acid) and packed up and left.  I was very disturbed because usually I have an iron tummy (half iron tummy? :D) so we stopped and got some pink stuff, and I felt better and then sitting in the car made me sick again, and then we got home.  Ahhhhh…

We hit the gym hot tub to relax the muscles, and then Zliten got lunch and I actually couldn’t think of anything I wanted to eat besides mac and cheese, so I went to the grocery store and grabbed anything that sounded good – including mac, a sandwich, baked fried shrimp, salad, mashed potatoes, guac, chicken and stars soup, and a couple other things.  So far, today, I’ve downed most of a package of mac and cheese and some beers, and am working on some tater chips and a sandwich and while it’s not the picture of health, or anything close to what I normally eat, it’s doing my belly good.  No more sickies!

I definitely want to give some love to Zliten.  Not only is he supportive of what I do, he’s joined me in my crazy and it’s pretty cool being able to spend QT with your husband on the trainer or on a morning run or lifting in the gym, or swimming laps.  It’s cool being able to finish a long training session or a race together on a weekend and then go drink and dissect it on the patio.  It’s amazing when you’re in your pit of despair from a peak week and he’s having a good day and he pulls you out, and vice versa.  I thank him for trusting my mad leet amateur coaching skills to get him from 5k to half marathon in the winter to half ironman in the fall and not complaining.  Too much.

As I wrap triathlon season ’12, I have probably another post of forward looking to what I learned and next years goals, but let’s leave it at this for now.  Also, I have my first damn marathon to run in 5 weeks and 6 days (ieeeeee).  However, I had the dude rooming next to us say that at the end of this, it feels just like a marathon, which just means I need to take it slow and careful, and just worry about keeping my ass smiling.

If you’re still reading, I commend you.  Off to down a few more beers and some more calories and enjoy the perfect temps on my patio and bask in the glow of being damn (half) ironpeople together!

…while I’ve loved recapping my vacation, which has allowed me to hold onto a little bit of it, it’s time to get real in the whole foods parking lot.

This is the one for all the marbles.  If someone told me I could only do one race this year, this would have been it.  I’ve been training since April officially, and really since last November when I ramped up my run miles, for this one day.  I’m tapered and ready to go.  I’ve had some weird back issues this week, but nothing that will affect me on race day.

So, since it’s going to be a 7 hour race, it’s worth putting some words to blog about what I hope to accomplish.

Pre-race Plan/Goals:

I think I’ve gotten really good at this but my plan is…

-get packet and check bike in as early as they let us (1pm)
-eat a normal pre-race meal (meat, taters, veggies) early
-get a pre-race swim and short run in since I need to re-lace up my shoes with my trick laces.
-drink sleepyjuice and get to bed around 9pm
-up around 5 to have chai late and bar and bathroom
-set up T1
-get warmup run in late enough so I don’t get cold
-drop warm clothes at the last minute (low of 58….)
-get warmup swim as late as possible
-drop flip flops
-freak out a little that I’m actually doing this race
-calm down and center and get ready to do this shit

Swim Goals:

My problem with the swim is I usually go too easy and leave the water thinking “why didn’t I push myself more?”.  The answer is simple – I’m afraid of blowing up before the bike.  However, this year I’ve discovered that spending money on the swim doesn’t necessarily leave me a deficit on the bike, they’re very different.  However, however, I am not going to really try and test that this race. Also, I loved swimming in that lake last year and felt very peaceful about it, so I’m looking forward to going back.

My swim normally goes:

0-300m – working out junk, I hate swimming, everyone is passing me

300m – end of race – hey, I love swimming!  I’m passing people!  I’m following feets!  I don’t want this to end!

So this time, I’m just going to make two goals: swim strong (swim aggressively and steady) , and don’t get stuck in a rut – if I feel like I can speed up in the second half, I will do so.

Time goal: I’ve said 1 hour for swims + transition.  So, under 50 mins for the swim is my goal as I imagine that I can certainly transition under 5 minutes each time.

Bike Goals:

This was the segment  was most worried about coming into training.  I love swimming long, I’ve done a billion double digit runs, but I did my first ride over 35 miles in March.  And it wore me the fuck out for days.  And then again a month later.  And it still wore me the fuck out, but perhaps a little less.  It took all summer to feel good about the distance, but after over a thousand miles on the bike (seriously), I feel ready to ride 56 miles and live to tell the tale.  I was considering pulling my nice bike shorts over my tri suit, but then I got a new, better tri suit and I did 30 miles with them without much ladybit aggrivation, so what’s 26 more, right?

While the course profile scares me a little, I think I can handle it.  Basically, it 11 miles of elevation going slightly down, and then 12 miles of going slightly up with a few actual “get out of your seat” looking moments.  I think it will be ok.  It’s a two loop course, and I do well knowing what is to come, so I really and truly think miles 12-24 are going to be my roughest ones and that’s usually where I’m the strongest physically.

Foodwise – I’ve done well eating a LOT on the bike.  Goal is putting two chomps down as soon as I get going, and then a chomp every 2-3 miles.  It sounds like a lot of eating but it’s worked well for me.  I’ll have a nuun in my camelback.  As backup, I’ll have a honeystinger waffle (I’ve found these are a nice pick me up around 30-40) and some cheese nips if I want salt.  The goal is to get most of my calories in on the bike.  Love eating on the bike.  Hate eating on the run.

Time goal: I’m torn.  I want to hit 3:30 because that sounds like a nice round number and gets me well on my way to the finish time I want.  However, my goal was a 15 mph pace.  Which is 3:45.  So let’s say 3:30, A goal, 3:45 B goal, and before the bike cutoff is my C goal.  I suppose another goal is to not get off and walk and power up all the hills.

Run Goals:

This is the huge wildcard.  If I’m having an awesome day I could run 2:15 but that’s really rainbows and unicorns talking there.  If I’m dragging, I might be 2:45 but I’m pretty sure I can go faster than that.  However, this is what I’m trying to remember on the run:

-Walking is a choice.  My goal is to not make that choice.
-Running very slowly (12-13 min/miles) actually helps my legs recharge faster than walking, it’s just mentally tougher.
-Pain now is temporary, pushing through this run will make me happy about this race forever.  Champagne is sweeter with a side of unicorns…

My goal is to take in as much aide as possible at stations, but I’ll stash some chomps in case I need a pick-me-up.  They also have a fuel station each lap, so I’ll check my attitude each time I pass it and see if I need to take in more calories.  I don’t plan on bringing my camelback on the run but am leaving the final decision for it as a gametime call.  If I’m feeling overheated or like I need it, I can just open it up at the first water stop and throw a bunch of cups in.

The good news is that it’s a 4 loop course.  I love loops.  I expect this to help me.  I am good at covering the same ground over and over.  I like familiarity.  In my mind I can count down “2 more times up this hill” and somehow it’s better than if it’s unknown.  I’ll know where the aide stations are and can expect them.  I can know where to expect to slow down and speed up.

Time goal: I’m just going to say my A goal is 2:25 – which is 11 min/miles.  My B goal is 2:40 – about 12 min/miles.  My C goal is any pace, but no walking.  I expect around 2:30.

Transition Goals:

These are old hat, and the only thing I’m adding is arm warmers on the bike since biking wet in the 60s is a foreign concept to me.  I just want to be able to check these off as “as expected”.

Secondary goal – catch Zliten in T1 (he starts 4 mins before me)!

Time goal: Giving myself 10 minutes for both, but I think I can get through them around 5.

Overall Goals:

C goal: finish by the cutoff (8:30) crawling across the finish line any which way I can.

B goal: swim strong, bike steady, and run without walk breaks and finish upright.

A goal: finish under 7 hours. (50 min swim + 3:30 bike + 2:30 run + 10 mins transitions)

Parting thoughts:

I know going in this will be the hardest race I will have ever done.  No matter how slow or fast I go, this is going to be incredibly mentally and physically challenging.  The good news is that I know this going  in and this is what I signed up for.  I’ve got 7-8 hours with just me, myself, and my head with no music or Zliten to distract me.  I know I’ve mentally grown as a triathlete this year – now I get to really put it into practice.

So, bring it on.  2.5 more days and counting.  Even my toes are ready!

Tuesday: Got your Bear Mace?

Woke up feeling… well, I’d love to say awesome, but the cold weather was making me feel a little off, and I was a little apprehensive – I’ve been heat training for like 5 months, so 40, windy, and rainy was really foreign to me.  I kept saying I was glad I had my adventure pants on when I scheduled this, because I really just wanted hot chocolate, a fireplace, and my book.

But we do these things for the mental fortitude, the blog posts, and the facebook pics, no?  So on we went.

Backing up to the morning, we had a small carby breakfast (taters, english muffin, and of course BACON) and then a safe lunch of white carbs like pasta and bread and potatoes, eschewing all of the delicious spicy food and poop inducing veggies.  We then got off the boat and grabbed a cab to the planned spot.

I had done a ton of researching, and picked the Treadwell Ditch Trail.  It started and ended at a ski resort, and was rated as hiker, runner, and bike friendly, and only had 700 ft of elevation change.  Perfect!  Except….not so much.  At all.  The cabbie started driving us there, and kept asking if we had bear mace, a gun to fight off the bears, any food (yes, which included…HONEYSTINGER WAFFLES AND GELS, which I’m sure the bears would have hated).  Then, after almost 30 bucks of cab fare (I thought the shit was only 6 miles away – maybe 6 miles UP into the sky, but it certainly was further than expected), and the cabbie taking down our descriptions in case we didn’t come back and then losing reception… we called it.

I may think myself a badass, but this was verging on a whole ‘nother level of stupid.  I can do many things, but wrestling a bear is definitely unknown.  Maybe I could, but maybe it would end badly.  So, begrudgingly, we asked the cabbie to turn around and had him let us off close to town.  We got out, it was cold and rainy and windy and I really bummed and thought that I was either going to just go back to the fucking ship and treadmill double digit miles or do what I really wanted to do and drink spiked hot chocolate and cry.  We started running toward the ship and I warmed up and started feeling better.

A backup I had researched was a trail that started just outside town, so we climbed through town and crossed a gorgeous bridge and found said trail waiting for us.  Tim the enchanter dog blocked our path barking at us, but we slowed to a walk and he quieted down, so we knew we were going to be allowed past.   He tried to lead us to a gift shop (shill dog?) but we headed to the trail and told Tim we would be back that way on the way home (it was a lie, we took a different way back and didn’t go past it).

You trail runners may have something here – I am a BIG FAN of pavement and really hate gravel and sticks and shit that is not flat and road normally, but this was pretty magical, if even my slowest 10 miler EVAR.  We passed waterfalls and saw mountains and streams and flowers and plants and amazing cool scenery.  The rain and wind and squishy and rocky footing didn’t even bother me after a few miles, though there was definitely walking at steep or really weird parts.

BTW, best running picture of me ever.  Zliten seemed to find the one moment that I don’t look like a special needs kid crossed with a slobbery puppy while running and captured it.  It is proof!  However, it started raining HARDER and we wanted to make sure we got back by dark so we turned around about 5 miles in and headed back just in time for it to start clearing up (oh well).  Apparently, all the Juneau-ians had gotten off work and were running the trails with their dogs.  All Alaskans apparently are required to own at least one gigantic dog.  For bear bait, I guess.

We finished up going through town dodging tourists and finished up our 10.2 miles and ducked into a gift shop to get Zliten some socks.  My legs were seizing up (and understandably – we had 5400 ft of climbing overall, and went from sea level to 1200 ft up at our max elevation so this was not a jaunty 10.2 miler around the house) so I just walked around outside hanging out with the Sarah Palin (not appearing in this post) standee and all the tourists, who I’m sure were wondering why I smelled like trail and sweat.  Sarah Palin herself did not comment on either the tourists or my odor.

Then we headed back to the boat and got some food at the buffet (half a honeystinger waffle in 3 hours does not a satiated Quix make), and then we ran into friends who wanted to go to dinner, so,  yeah, we called that a snack and headed to the dining room with them.  We had some wine and greek salad and soup and some red snapper and some birthday celebrations for our friend P (who we always end up on trip with during his b-day – lucky!!!).

He wanted cigars and cognac for the afterparty, so we obliged and went to that bar.  I didn’t feel right in jeans so I classed it up a bit, but no one told me that I had so much damn ass hanging out.  Oh well.  At first they didn’t want to sell us cigars cause we were too close to port but Zliten made it happen.  We knew we had to ride the next day, so we called it early, after going to the casino to play a bit and letting the boys obsess over the win-an-ipad machine that probably got 100$ collectively from our group.

Wednesday: White Crabby Knuckles

Did the same deal as the day before, carbalicious breakfast and lunch (though I was a little more adventurous, bike butt is less finicky than run butt), and lots of reading ensued (I think I was on about book 3 by that time…. love me some sci fi), and then we headed to town mid-afternoon.

I am a scaredy biker, so again, I was glad I had on my adventure pants when planning this, as the cold and rain made me want to just skip it entirely, especially with the trauma the day before.  However, we kinda figured that back home and we had actually reserved this and paid for it, so off we were, up to bike up a damn mountain in the rain.

We got to the shop, and they got us going… but sadly, they didn’t have the right clips for us so it was Zliten in his running shoes and me in my HIKING SHOES and toe cages going up on rental Trek road bikes.  The first part wasn’t so bad, but then the bike lane collapsed into a teeny tiny strip, the climb got epic, and it started pouring.  We made it up the first two climbs (the first I walked a bit because I am lame and take a while to warm up my legs) and stopped at a vista… it was so pretty and we could see the famous train.

However, then we looked ahead at an epic descent with another epic climb and decided to call it (the smile hides the immense terror I was feeling).  I am ok climbing, but it’s the down that scared me.  So it was time to face the 2000 feet of down.  White knuckles.  OMG.  In the rain, with the tour busses, on the side of a highway, with bikes with questionable breaks.

I think I could have done better on evilbike because I know how she handles, but when I got to a point where I felt like I couldn’t stop when I wanted to, and all I saw ahead was descent, I hopped off and ran my bike down (it was too steep to walk).  When it settled, I got back on, rinse and repeat until I saw town.

Zliten, the bad ass, white knuckled it the whole way down.  Although, here, he his trying not to hurl after a particularly epic climb….

As you can see it was MUDDY.  Gratuitous butt shot.  Also in the mud was gold flecks.  Well, I guess we were in Alaska… not sure what else to expect…

When we got back to the flats we decided to check out town a bit and it was sooooo cute.  There was even a window/door fence!  It almost felt very “little Austin”.

Also, we decided we needed to get a drink to erase the memory of our descent because… OMG FREAKY AS FUCK.  I got a sweet purple shirt from the bike shop to remind me of the trauma fun day and Zliten got some socks.

We went back to the boat, showered and changed, and then went back out to grab an irish coffee and a local beer, shop a bit for bric a brac to bring back, and get some damn CRAB since we had spent 2 days in alaska and no one had yet shoveled it in our face (how rude).  We heard rumors of an awesome place from a drunk guy and got a little lost getting there, but found it eventually, and nomnomed on a plate of expensive red alaskan crab (we split it).  And we hugged the moose.

In case you’re curious, the Skagway bar patio scene is hoppin’.

Then, we got our books, headed up to a bar with a view, and sailed away reading and sipping on mint juleps.  We had a mellow, just us two dinner of soup, salad, and meatloaf with a few bites of pecan pie and lemon sorbet, and I almost crashed in the room.  However, the “White Hot” party was that evening, and I bought a dang pair of white jeans for it so off we went.  Zliten knew I needed to wake up, so he bought me a liquid cocaine shot (which had some 151, jagermeister, and a bit of window cleaner from the taste), which did the trick.

(EDIT: one posted – proof I actually own something white besides tech tees) Waiting for friends to post pics because there are some hilarious ones from that night, but we danced a lot and drank a lot.  We hit the white hot party (in the Spinnaker lounge), the after party (at the night club. more dancing), the after, after party (us, in the casino), the after, after, after party (us, in the cigar bar, which had a table to play dice on, with bar pizza delivered!), and the after, after, after, after party (hitting the mini bar for refills+ the outside decks).  Once I saw the stars start to go to bed, I decided that was it for me and headed to the room.

Thursday: Glaciers are Cold and Loud

Apparently this guy wanted me to wake up and see glaciers at like 7:30 am.

Since he was still up.  Quix-y don’t play that.  I slept.  Until the glacier park tour guide came on to talk about what we were seeing on the ship’s intercom about 9:30 and was loud and crap and I woke up to see what the commotion was about.

Ok, ok, that was worth losing sleep over.  We got up on deck and got some breakfast and froze our tootsies and handsies off and looked at some beautiful pieces of ice.

Me, in my stretchy pants, and Zliten in his track suit.  Can you say fashionable couple?  We then met up with some of our friends who had a balcony, so we had a better view.

More glaciers, and some of my bedhead at the bottom.

Glacier viewing is cold and requires a lot of mint tea.

Then, we left that glacier area and cruised to another one, and we napped in between.  We ended up on another friend’s balcony to view this one.

Mountain peaks and blue snow.  Our pictures suck and don’t really capture it, but it was really cool.

We saw a bear, which I didn’t get a picture of because it was uncapturable by our 79 dollar special underwater camera, but we did see the elusive J-wahl.  A fierce creature.

There’s me with the tiniest iceberg.  I kept saying “I’ll never let go… I’ll never let go… arghlgughlghg”, especially after it broke in half.  Then we had a random elevator encounter with our newlyweds, and they took us up to their suite and we watched the rest from up there, drinking mimosas and eating the rest of the wedding cake.

Had a little bit of lunch around 2:30 from the buffet (if you would have guessed soup and salad and bread….dingdingding) and then took an epic nap of epicness, woke up, read, ordered room service (I was feeling like I just wanted a light dinner because I had eaten so dang much so I ordered an appetizer greek salad and ate half of a turkey sandwich), and read more and went to bed.  After so much excitement the last few days, we crashed hard and it was marvelous.

We had to be up early for our organized shore excursion at 7am, doing one of the typical things that you do when you go to Alaska.

Wait, what?  Not everyone goes snorkeling in Alaska?  More on that next time… (and oh dear, I think this may be a 4 parter depending on how much I can squeeze into the next one.  Sorry!)

Usually, after I come home from vacation having enjoyed, but very happy to be home.  I know this was a particularly fantastic one because even after 11 awesome days of adventures, I wanted moremoremore.  More days.  More adventures!

I’m thinking this is probably going to be about a long, three part post.  So, buckle your seatbelts and expect that this may get pre-empted by some race reports and goal posts and speculating, oh my, because, oh yeah, my HUGE MAJOR A RACE is in 10 days.  *flail*

Saturday: Getting There

I had epic planz to be up at the crack of dawn (literally) and knock out 16 miles.  Well, I slept in and woke up in time for about 12, max.  Then, after I got out, I had a miserable day.  Little body niggles everywhere, heel in effect, and a poor choice of food made it so I just felt ucky.  After the second bathroom stop at 6.35 I called it with approximately a 12 min/mi pace (yeah…).  I wasn’t going to jeopardize my vacation being awesome to get in a certain amount of miles.  I rescheduled 16 for the next Monday and made final preparations and then hopped a plane after a “last Texas meal” of bbq beef, with our lightly packed bags in tow (we each brought 2 bags, and 3 of the 4 were over 45 lbs).

The flights were smooth and uneventful.  Zliten loves talking to people on the plane, and he found a lady with lots of stories to chat with.  I however, was in antisocial book read mode.  I conquered the 8th Galaxy Unknown book and I started another Sci Fi series called Annihilation.  We got there on time, and as we were flying over Seattle, I was impressed at how pretty it was.  The sentiment continued as we taxi’d from the airport to the hotel.  We got a text en route asking if we would make the rehearsal at 6… not so much.  However, right after we checked in and as we headed to the elevator, we saw half of the wedding party!  Success!  We made it to go to dinner with them on time!

We noshed on amazing pizza (my favorite was essentially a greek salad on top of a pie, but no surprise there), and got to hang with some friends we hadn’t seen in a while, and ended up with some gorgeous bridesmaids gifts – the bride had contacted someone on etsy, and gave them some simple descriptions on a necklace for us.  Mine was something like “classic, timeless and sparkly”.  I am in love with what happened.

(EDIT – think this one may show it better…)

And, this was our friends, so there was a lot of wine.  Then, some of us moved up the street to another bar to have the after party, so more wine.  And then a few of us moved back to the hotel bar for the after, after party.  Then, we retired to the room and I made use of the nice garden tub.  There were bath salts.  I didn’t eat anyone’s face though, except maybe the complimentary rubber ducky that we kept.

Sunday: Mawwiage and Hallway Pizza

Woke up feeling a *little* worse for wear, but I can sip wine like a pro without a crushing hangover, so I was up really early, and started getting pretty for the wedding, which involved actually blow drying and straightening my hair.  It happens a few times a year.  Soon, it was time to go, so we cabbed it to the dock and OMG I forgot to check out.  *facepalm*  They were nice enough to do it over the phone at least.

We got there, and we’ve now decided that each cruise, someone needs to get married.  We were given our own little boarding area, and we got to get on the boat first.  It was AWESOME.  Then, we were able to converge on the bride and groom’s suite and HOLY FUCK it was amazing.  It was on the top floor, it had a huge balcony with a hot tub, it was the size of a HUGE hotel room (which, if you’ve ever been on a cruise, you know it’s a BIG DEAL because the rooms are teeny tiny) with a shower and a garden tub.  The gals finished getting ready up there, we donned our peacock feathered hair clips and our awesome homemade bouquets, and we got goin’.

We had practiced how to come in, and as the wedding started… the music we walked in to was the Star Wars Imperial March.  Ha!  They both met doing QA on a Star Wars Game, so while it was good and nerdy, it was also really symbolic (and the music we walked out to was the Cantina Song – loved it!).

It was a very sweet and short ceremony – although the officiant did call my friend Anita (which is NOT her name) during the ceremony, and the ring bearer spent about half of it playing with the petals on the ground, it was just perfect.  Then, our work was over, the bride changed into her sparkly blue converse (and me into my knee high black boots) and we started eating and drinking and toasting and a little dancing.

And hugging.  Somehow, this tradition started at our wedding, I think, and it’s an awesome one! 🙂

All too soon it was over, and our non-sailing friends had to leave.  We decided to go back to the room and check and HELLS YAH we already had our luggage.  Being fairly obsessive about my clothes being straightened, we were able to get completely unpacked and settled by the time we had to do the boat drill.  After that, our duty performed, we sat on the deck drinking champagne and eating french fries and enjoying the fact that we were footloose, fancy free, and setting sail.  However, the minute we set sail it went from nice to COLD and I knew that part of it was already starting (let me tell you, it was weird being on vacay and not breaking out a swim suit and coming back paler than I left).

Pretty soon after we sailed, we hit dinner.  It was a nice first night of cream of broccoli soup, ceasar salad, seafood canneloni, and key lime pie, with a bottle of red wine split between 3 of us.  Our friend J’s wife was tired and went to the room, so we indulged him and went and hung out and watched the end of a football game on the two-story screen.  I gave excellent commentary the whole time and kept myself extremely amused.  Then, we ended up walking through the shops as they were doing a drawing, and I won a bottle of champagne!  This day is even more magical!  We tried to meet up with some friends at the ultralounge/nightclub area, but they all looked pooped and went to bed pretty quickly and it was just J and Zliten and I.  We hung out at the bar after that for an inordinate amount of time, and then had to check out the 24 hour food.  By this time, things are hazy, and I remember being there, and ordering something.  Possibly with cheese?

Then, we hit the mini bar in the room, and hallway pizza happened.  So – they advertised that you could pay 5 dollars, and get a pizza delivered anywhere on the ship.  J was OBSESSED with this and the concept and goal of hallway pizza was born.  A pizza, delivered to the hallway outside our room, just because we could.  And, around 3-something AM, we met our goals.

And then, having eaten and drank like an asshole all day, I passed the hell out.  Check my soft hands.  Thank you gymnastics and dance for perfect form!

Monday: Don’t Rock The Boat.  Really.

…and slept until 11AM.  I can’t remember the last time I slept that late – some people begrudge the interior rooms of the cruise ship because they can’t see light – I enjoy the hell out of it since my bedroom wakes me up no later than 9 most days unless I try reallyrealyreally hard.  We both woke up going “FOOD NAOW” because obviously 3 meals and pizza wasn’t sufficient yesterday, so we grabbed some soup, and I made an epic salad from their salad bar, and I noshed on some fresh bread.  However, the captain rudely did not understand that I had tied one on last night and kept rocking the boat which was not making me thrilled, and I couldn’t eat very much of it.

I pushed through and we met up with J and M to play some Phase 10.  J had beginners luck and he won… sadly I never got a rematch.  After enough hot tea and adrenaline pumping game playing, I started feeling better.  Since I couldn’t eat my lunch, we hit up the 24 hour diner and I snacked on some wonton soup, fish, and coleslaw.  We retired to the room after and I curled up with my book and napped and read and napped and read all afternoon.  It was fabulous!

It was dress up (or not) night, and we brought lots of fancy clothings, so we got up and put on our fancy duds but I got lazy with the makeup and didn’t even put in contacts.  I think I did alright.  We took fancy pics and one actually turned out, so we got it.  We swang by the karaoke and found the bride and groom and hung out with them for a while waiting for dinner – we were all going to teppanyaki that night.  When we met up with the flower boy and A, she and I were wearing the exact same setup, same color/cut of dress, same black bolero, same color shoes and tights, and practically the same jewelry.  It was uncanny how good her taste is!  Sadly, no pics (EDIT: of both of us but here’s Zliten and I lookin’ swanky)

But oh, the teppanyaki was pretty epic.  We started with miso soup and seaweed salad, and then we got veggies, fried rice, and I got filet and shrimp.  Perfectly cooked, and the show was fun – he tossed eggs at the boys to catch in their mouths, and was incredibly talented.  Then, we got some amazing green tea cake and ice cream.  So, so, so good, and it was fun to dine as a group – the whole wedding party and both sets of parents, our whole cruising party.

After that, our peeps headed to the bar to drink a bit, however, since we had tied one on two days in a row, and we were running long the next day, we sipped mint tea while we chatted, and bowed out early.  More reading in bed, and then we drifted off dreaming of what adventures we’d have on the Juneau trails tomorrow.  If only we knew what was in store…

Part 2 of the Epic Vacation saga soon!

Hey dudes and dudettes!

I’ve been in Seattle, Alaska, Canada, on planes, boats, bikes, running trails and even on a spaceship on stilts!

(ganked picture courtesy of the lovely bride…)

I saw glaciers, bears, sea lions, otters, puffins, jellyfish, and the best wildlife of all, my good friends get mawwied.

I wore everything from a bridesmaid dress to a wetsuit.

Right now, though, since I completely unplug on vacation, I am behind on everything from email to laundry to cycling miles on evilbike… so let’s chat more this weekend, eh? (I was in Canada for 5 hours, I’m allowed)