Adjusted Reality

As a moody, brooding teenager, The Crow was one of my favorite movies.  It had all the elements of awesome – sticking it to the man, industrial music, gothiness and leather pants, and lots of cursing.  However, the song I listened to on repeat often was It Can’t Rain All The Time.

I still get my gothy out sometimes, but usually it’s just Halloween…

I had a really, really terrible training week.  Tuesday was the perfect, perfect day to run and I had it scheduled but I couldn’t drag myself outside.  You don’t understand, it wasn’t laziness, it wasn’t just being tired (but there was that), it was like this mental block.  Best I could do was the trainer.  I got out for 4 whole miles Wednesday, and rode the trainer at night.  Actually felt like a training day.  Thursday, I got up and eeked out 6 miles (which were actually decent, but took FOREVER to get going) before I shut it down for the week again with the lack of motivation and just couldn’t face the pool, the road, even the trainer.

I figured I was saving it all for the weekend.  I didn’t even have anything lengthy planned, but a feat of strength speed – trying to see how close I am to my 5k PR.  Let’s just say it didn’t go well.  I’ve ran about the same pace in half marathons.  I made about five mistakes:

1. Lack of motivation to get up, like I had all week, put us outside starting after 10am, which Saturday meant no breeze and mid 80s.  I was sweating standing still.

2. Y’know that one day of the month where you have no energy and feel awful due to cramps and hormones and whatever?  Yeah, that was this morning.

3. Trying to PR at Lake Pflugerville is like running on quicksand for me.  I’ve learned to love the crushed trail for easy runs, but running fast on it, I feel like my feet are slipping every step.  They don’t grip it like pavement.

4. To add to the 80s and no breeze, this route has ZERO shade.

5. We forgot to hydrate properly before (it’s just a 5k, right?) and bring enough water.

I was a little bummed with the result, but the slight sensitivity I had all day to temperature made me realize that I’m glad I backed off a little.  I don’t need to burn it all on a training day and end up with heat sickness like I had last summer.

Instead of getting depressed about it, “It Can’t Rain All The Time” popped in my head and I realized two things:

One: 5k’s are great because you could feasibly race one every weekend and recover pretty quickly.  So next Saturday, I’m going to give it another go.  Closer to sunrise.  On pavement.

Two: While the 29:31 is up there with some of my worst standalone 5k race finishes ever, it would be one of, if not my best triathlon 5k split ever.  Considering I was already tired starting, and it was balls hot, it replicated the conditions quite well.  That provides some silver lining.

What’s a little more concerning to me is this lack of motivation and fixing it.

Me, sportily, I really and truly am about 1 week past where I need season to end and break to begin.  It’s hard to get up in the morning, hard to get on the bike or to the pool at night, and I’m dragging myself to training a lot of the time in the last few weeks (minus the last week where I just didn’t show up half the time).

The solace is that a) I feel good once I get going so I’m not physically over-trained (minus the 5k) and b) I only have this week and next week, which is a week for taper, and then two races and I get the break I need.  Light, meet tunnel.  I’m not having the overall freakouts (omg, how I am going to make it through all this), which is good, but there is a lot of half assing or skipping sessions.  The exception seems to be the trainer.  The only reason I’m able to make myself trainer with any intensity is that I can put on TV and convince myself it’s not that much different than being on the couch.

I’m pretty happy with the length I’ve been able to string this latest season along without more than a week break/second week easy after races (Jan 2013-now).  I’ve also measurable and solidly improved in all 3 disciplines.  It’s nice that I am really and truly just showing the signs of burnout now, but it’s definitely rearing it’s ugly head just a few weeks too early.

My focus these next two weeks is to get hungry to race again.  Right now I have to realize it’s not time to pile on the volume even though I want to cram just one more solid workout in before the races, before offseason, before I lose fitness, before whatever.  I’ve grown as much as I’m going to grow as an athlete right now without a little rain (rest).  However, I need to remember, it won’t rain all the time.

Switching Focus:

My plans for offseason are as follows…

1. Run 5k twice.  Fast, slow, outside, inside, whatever.  Put feet in front of the other fast enough not to be walking for approximately one hour a week split up into two sessions.  I really think a full month off running will do bad things and I’m scared of completely losing this nice base I have.  From what I have read – just a little is much better than none.

2.  Weights twice a week.  The other component to not completely losing fitness.  Lift heavy things, and enjoy the fact that I don’t have to hold back because I have to also do x workout after and then x in the morning.

3.  Probably not get up before work to do workouts much.  Aka – enjoy lots of sleep.

4. Be active a few other times a week, but do what sounds fun.  Kayaking, SUPing, ice skating, climbing, roller skating, walking to the store, whatever.

5.  Nothing that would qualify as long distance workouts.  Unless it is TRULY in the spirit of fun (a slow bike ride meandering around all day, etc).

6.  Cleaning up my damn eating.

Number 6 is key.  I know it’s not a true offseason if you don’t get a bit fat and lazy, but my eating right now is completely out of whack.  That was the first sign it was getting to the end of my motivational rope – the 4-6 weeks nothing has been off limits, in terms of food choices or portions.  I ate what I wanted, when I wanted, and how much I felt like.

By and large, the biggest percentage of what went in my mouth was healthy food because that’s what I keep around and that’s what I like.  But slowly 90/10 slipped to 80/20… and then over Memorial Day weekend I forgot what vegetables and fruit tasted like.

It is time.  This last week, I tracked my food and assessed diet quality.  No rules, no limits, just step #1, being, actually be accountable for what I ate.  Honestly, it wasn’t too, too bad in terms of calories, but the diet quality left something to be desired.  Baby steps.  I’m going to actually get on the scale this week sometime to assess where we are with that as well.

I’m going to continue this until after season ends.  Then, I’m going to get all diet quality on this mother, but I’ll save that for another post.

And, for added randomness, I give you cool stuff May!

Racing Texasman in the blistering heat

I got to go see Warhorse care of Yelp and Texas Perfoming Arts.  It was spectacularly awesome!

Distance PR for outdoor swimming: 2.75 miles

Impromptu BBQ party and bush cutting and gorilla suit happy fun times (I love my random crew of people)

Birthday Crab Boil for our neighbor’s birthday!

Distance PR for outdoor riding: 70 miles

Had one of those nice long chatty, easy runs around the like where it feels like just a long walk with friends.  I haven’t had one of those in a while since I usually get antsy and push the pace.

Volunteering for Cap Tex Tri at the packet pickup was a LOT of fun.  Talking to all sorts of athletes – pro to newbies, and got a good dose of race energy.  So, so glad we didn’t volunteer the day of (it was pouring rain).

Having our friends from Denver in town over Memorial Day weekend kicked ass.  We got the gang back together two days in a row and played games, drank beers, ate good food, and had a blast.

New blender means a lot more blendy drinks.  This is a good thing (I think).

Lotsa good food, both batch cooked, and new Costco finds.

Talking to a bunch of teenagers about getting into the tech industry.  I love to talk, and they seemed geniunely interested about me sharing my experiences and wisdom gained in the last 13 years.

Game Jam! Work set aside 3 days for us to work on a side project, and I got to team up with my husband.  We never get to work together because of the married couple stigma, and we spent 3 days making a kick ass board game.  There are actually some pretty cool prizes for the winners, and it will be really cool to see what everyone did!

And, because it’s Texas, here’s the random wandering cow picture taken right outside the steakhouse.

With that, I’ll leave you – send me good mojo thoughts or leave me a comment telling me what you do to get your mojo back in a pinch!

This post goes all over, you have been warned. 🙂

I have had so many different travel-related webpages open on my browser in the last few weeks.  These include…

• An all inclusive dive resort in Roatan, Honduras
• A groupon for New Zealand + Fiji
• A Bahamas diving video
• Stuff on tours in Peru, Bangkok, Costa Rica, probably other places I’m not thinking of.
• Trips to Europe – London/Paris, Italy/Greece, etc
• Stuff for our Portland/Rockaway Beach/Santa Barbara trip in a few months
• Potential cruises out of Florida in December after the marathon
• Potential trip to South Padre island instead of one of those exotic places in October.

I’ve got some serrrrrious wanderlust right now for some of this.

The problem is I’ve been to some stellar places already and want to go back, too.  It is seriously not fair that there are so many cool places around the world to check out and so little vacation time, and some of them take sooooo long to get to (Australia, I’m looking at you :P).

I love my job, I love my house, I love my life, but I think if I had the opportunity to pick up and go travel for a year and could do something productive with my time (write a travel blog/book? take pictures and sell them? host a tv show at remote locations? find something that I could work at remotely?), and could survive monetarily, Zliten and I would just go do it.

I’m sure it is partially that tri season is winding down for the year and it’s close to offseason.  I didn’t feel the need for it until about a week ago, when I realized that I’m pretty tired mentally and my body is taking longer to come back from this race than the others this year.  I definitely have one more quick sharpening of the knife in me to try and bust out some PRs at the Sprint and Olympic distance next month, but I’m really glad I’m taking a month off after to refresh the energy and motivation stores.

I’ve been able to prolong this season quite a bit because I have been smart about taking time off after each major race, but it’s finally catching up with me in some not so good ways.

I’ve lost motivation in the dietary department, I have definitely given into the junk food lately, and while it’s not majorly manifesting on the scale just yet, it will if I don’t quit this shit.  I’m not tracking calories and I’m not tracking diet quality, and that means I ate things like pizza and breadsticks and cake and not-whole-wheat tortillas and chips and dip this weekend, not to mention a double digit amount of drinks over Saturday and Sunday.  I am finding it easier to eat crap because I’m not accountable.

I’ve found this week that I’m finally, actually curious about my calorie intake again instead of not giving a fuck, so I think after memorial day I’ll be back on the straight and narrow.  I was giving myself through the end of tri season, but I think I’m going to be ready sooner.  I definitely didn’t want this junkfoodarama to overlap with the off season where I’m not doing much, lest I see the scale jump.

However, waning motivation does not mean a lack of training.  I’m still pretty motivated there after a week of slackitude after the race.  Since we have some time in between the last race and the next one, we wanted to try two “feats of strength” in terms of distance.

1. Swim 5k in open water.

I’ve swam just over the iron distance before (2.45 miles) last year but we wanted to do a full 5k/5k (swim then run).  I kept about a 40 min/mile pace pretty solid and felt fine, but I saw Zliten head in before the last short lap I needed to do so I called it at 2.75 in about 1h 54 min.  Personal distance record!  We were short on time so we did not run.  I wasn’t too pooped right after, but I felt a deep tired for the rest of the weekend from it (this was 6 days after racing the x-50, so that was probably part of it).

2. Bike 100 miles outside.  I’ve done 110+ miles on the trainer twice, but have yet to ride more than 64 miles outside.  We got going, and my legs were just shredded from the get go from the first week back at full volume.  We stopped at 55 miles to take a rest and I ate so much food (a whole orange, half of a sandwich, and so many cheetos – and I had been fueling on the bike with blocks) and got back on the bike – it was hot, we were miserable, and we agreed that a personal distance record was enough, we didn’t have to hit the 100, so we called it at 70.  I was not prepared to hurt that badly to get to triple digits.

So, while we’ve gone further than we have before (yay!), we fell short of both goals (boo!).  It was for the best.  I’ll have to keep chipping away at riding my bike a long time and maybe rest a little more before the next attempt – I’d done about 7 hours last week already and was sort of sore and tired already going in, so that didn’t help.

I’m not dumb enough to try to go run super long like 20 miles (talk about some serious recovery time, especially since my comfort zone is only around 10-13 miles), though we do have plans to “run long” with a friend who was flirting with the 20 mile distance, I’m also prepared to cut it any time after 10 that I feel like I would be overdoing it to go further. I hope.

I’m spending this one last week of volume  (20 miles running, about 5k swim, ~125 bike miles, and 2 weights sessions), and then next week decrease the volume a bit and up some intensity to prepare for shorter, faster efforts.

The rest of the weekend (besides the epic bike ride) was for relaxing.  Zliten and I spent the day ordering a pizza, watching triathlon videos, hanging on the patio when it cooled off, drinking beers and blendy drinks, watching Rocky Horror around midnight (it had been a while) and then (a little drunkenly) singing unofficial karaoke.

Sunday, we did slept in and did chores and then went to our next door neighbor’s house for a crab boil.

It was as spectacular as it looks, and it was a great way to wind down the weekend.

In other news – I got to give a talk with some other folks here at work to a group of girls who attend a technology focused school.  It was really bizarre to squish my 13 years of industry experience into a little 5 minute introduction (and, um, most of the other folks took the not telling their life story route, so mine was WAY the longest, what can I say, I like to talk).  It was also really cool being able to impart some of the knowledge I wished I had, like:

1. Go ask for what you want.  Be bold.  If people brush you off, go ask more people.  Be polite, be patient, but keep telling people what you want to do and asking for help getting there.

2. Negotiate your salary.  Don’t take the first offer if it’s lower than you want.  Men tend to negotiate.  Women tend to settle.  There is usually a range of salaries for positions, so it’s rare that it’s their final offer.

And also sharing how it used to be a big bummer for girls in the industry, like when i first got my first job, I got gawked at a lot.  It was really cool to be a part of, and they seemed pretty interested, and not just because we gave them cookies, so it was a great Friday morning.

So, what’s up in the future tense?

The one last feat of strength (speed?) we have left is to go run a standalone 5k sometime between now and before the Lake PF tri.  I KNOW Zliten can PR his (his half marathon pace is speedier than the last 5k he ran), and I’m probably pretty close (26:31 is mine from YEARS ago, the best I’ve done recently is 27:58, and that was in 2012), so we’re going to give this a try (probably just on our own, not a race).  Mcmillian thinks I can at least get close to a PR with my most recent mile time (and that was off the bike), but we’ll see.

Got some good new food from Costco that is rocking my world.  I know prepared stuff is not as good as cooking myself, but that whole waning motivation thing… yeah.  The fish burgers, the chicken skewers, and the veggie/quinoa bowls are fabulous.  I’m just trying to not eat them too fast.

This week, I’ve taken down about 50 quality trainer miles on the bike, 3 fast running miles (but lots more planned this week), and as of this evening, I’ll have finished my two swims and weights sessions for the week.  Besides some more spinning when I can fit it in, the rest of the week is about my love right now, running.  I’m ready for it to swing that way.  I did such a good ab workout I’ve been playing the “cramps or ab soreness” game where I have to ice my lower abs at night to fall back to sleep.  Bleh.

This will be a busy 3 day weekend.  Saturday, we plan to do said long run with a friend and then go hit up Barton Springs for either a real swim or just an “ice bath” paddling around.  Then, we’re traveling down south to hang out with some friends, and the agenda is smoking pork belly, beer, and wine.

Sunday, we volunteer at packet pickup for the Cap Tex Tri (which we’re NOT doing) and then we’re hosting a BBQ with our friends from out of town and expect to make use of my new blender for margaritas, eat tacos, sing karaoke, and play some cards against humanity.

Monday, I think we’ll try to get some trainer time, but other than that, I expect to do jack and shit.  Looking forward to a lot of fun this weekend!

…and I think that’s all the random I got.  I’ll be back soon with, uh, probably more random.

Question: if you work remotely, what do you do?  Is it full time regular (aka, with benefits, PTO, like working in an office) or contract/part time?  Where would you most like to work remotely from?