Adjusted Reality

13.1.  And I’m ok with it.  A little bummed but ok.

This week I worked on another great week of nutrition, more calcium (I eat way more dairy than I used to, but even so, I resumed taking supplements), more potassium (a zico a day keeps the leg ickies away?), stretching, using my shockies (muscle stimulator), and getting good sleep.  I ate my normal pre race meal – steak, potato, veggies.  I slept as late as I felt like.  I read tweets and saw pictures about Houston Marathon Olympic Trials and got pumped.

Then I got out and did my own run.  Zliten and I started together, but agreed that if I felt like I wanted to speed up or slow down I would.  We got a mile in and just after that my legs felt zoomy so I took off.  I was feeling good at about 10:30s so I went with it.  Around mile 4 I realized I had forgotten both my nutrition and my sweatband (and it was hot-ish at upper 60s) so I stopped by the house and grabbed both.  Around 6 I saw Zliten ahead of me and picked up the pace to 9s to catch him.  I did about 6.65 and we ran together for a little bit and chatted, but then I felt zoomy again so I took off.

I got to the bottom of the hill and turned around.  My plan was to do a bunch of loops so I wasn’t going straight uphill for 2 miles but I lost it around 8.5 and walked.  That was when I made peace with my fate. I also couldn’t get the second gel down – it sounded gross and I felt full.  All I wanted out of life was some pretzels or something salty.  I ran/walked up to the house (at about 10.5) and stopped real quick.

I refilled my camelback, as at that time, I wasn’t sure how long I was going to go and was almost out, and mowed the fuck out of some tortilla chips (the first salty thing I could find).  After about 5 mins I felt better and headed back out.

I did another quick loop, and though I actually felt better, I decided to call it at 12.1.  I wasn’t mentally ready to do more.  While the “I don’t have enough salt” thing was a breakthrough to try to implement in the future, I had done enough wear and tear on my body by 10.5 that I didn’t think it was prudent to try to push through.

If I would have been aiming for 12 miles, I could have done it way faster and not walked, but the net with all the walking was 2:22.  About 11:40 pace.  Again, I finished with the feeling I could have done more after a rest and gone faster, but you learn something from every run.  And I learned a lot:

-More salt.

-More mid week miles.  I can rock a half and even PR on minimal training, but I think I need more miles under my belt or a significantly larger running level of endurance to pull of a marathon.

-More mental toughness.  This is the one I struggled with the most.  I didn’t feel like it was a good excuse, but after thinking about it, I realized you only have so much “give a shit” and I have run out for the season.  I am mostly succeeding at shutting out the thought of “wuss”, and have also mostly made peace with it.  I took a chance coming right off tri season feeling good and realized that you need some downtime.  Even if you don’t think you do.

-More love and reverence for the distance.    This was just a thing to do in offseason.  A step to ironman.  I need to pick this up when I either a) accidentally have the endurance (aka, after tri season this year) or b) when I really want it and am excited about it.

-A race that is more suited for me.  I hate hills.  I am trying to get better, but still a weak point.  This was one of the clinchers of not running 26.2 Austin.   A pancake flat marathon?  Might be good for that.  A hilly ass run?  Definitely not ready.  Thinking about RnR San Antonio because of this.

– I don’t just want to crawl across the finish line of a marathon, I want to finish strong.  I want to feel like I dominated that fucker.  I’m not there yet, so I don’t feel justified in trying to race the distance.

So all in all, I’m ok.  I’m about 15% bummed and 85% relieved.  As I said on daily mile, if you shoot for the moon and miss, you end up among the stars, and this is so true here.  I will run 4 halfs within 4 months (and would have done 5 if See Jane wasn’t cancelled).  I have never put in so many run miles in a season.  I have never felt BFFs with 13.1 the way I do now. 13?  Aint no thang, chicken wing.  I run it a little slower than I used to, but you can’t race every weekend.

And while that frustrates me a little that 13 is fine but I couldn’t do 20, it’s huge endurance in the bank for my real A race in October.  I’ll be needing to ramp up to 6-7 hours of ass kicking without a rest, and having a good handle on 3-4 hours running will be huge.  I will have a chance at attacking 20 miles again soon.

I know right now I’m as trained up as I need to be for a half that I’m not trying to PR.  I’ll be cutting my long runs to what I have prescribed for Zliten through Austin (8, race, 10, 8, race) and then see where I go from there.  I have a 10 mile race I’m looking at in April, and there’s really not time to lose much run endurance between then and ramping up for tri season.  I’m still looking into training plans and coordinating my strategy through October, but I don’t see dropping much below the double digis any time soon minus a possible intentional brain/body break after Austin for about a month.

Also, most importantly – I successfully set out a plan and coached and supported Zliten to expand his runs from 5k to 13.1. He actually ran the distance last weekend strong.   I am a proud wife!  I thought it was a little ambitious but now he’s running longer distances like a champ!  I have no doubt if we set out together to train for something, we’ll get there. (It also makes me think I might consider getting my first level coaching license but that’s another tangent…)

My brain is already going 1500000 miles about the training plan for tri season in a completely different way than I was for this marathon, so I know we’ll get it.  We registered for the Texas Tri Series, which is May super sprint, June sprint, July sprint, August sprint, Sept olympic, end of Sept half iron.  We need to pick what we race and what we run, and set our sights on hitting that half IM.  It will be a challenge (considering my swim and run are there right now like a champ, but I need to add TWENTY MILES to my bikeness), but I think we can dominate.

So, whether it’s the safe choice or the wussy choice or whatnot, it’s been made. 26.2, we’re a missed connection right now, but I’ll catch ya later.

2012 has really started off opposite of most of last year. Let’s look at 2 of my major goals:

1.  Lose weight.  More specifically, 1600 calories on all days but long run day.  No sugar.  Mostly organic.  Keeping the ratios pretty even.  Basically, good, clean eating. For most of December, I struggled HARD with 1600 calories.  This week, I rocked it out of the park.  To the point where some days, I was eating more at night to get to 1600 on purpose.

While I don’t necessarily think that I should be shoving food down my mouth if I’m not really hungry, I want to get good data if I’m losing at this calorie range and not just my normal TRY TO EAT AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE without going insane and then get frustrated. So yeah – no sugar.  Very little nutritionally void food.  Mostly organic/good quality.  Only out to eat 4 times last week.  Around 1600 each day, 2400 on long run day.  I feel so much more fabulous than I did this time last week.

Weight is 178, while it’s up from my last official weigh in, is actually down from the damage I did on vacation.

2.  Marathon Training Most of 2011 (at least the last half), it was all about “my training is going awesome but I can’t get my eating habits together”.  Sadly, I’m just about opposite this week.  I missed one workout (my swim – not critical, but still, not good).  I had to take my 10 miler at planned marathon pace down to 6 miles due to time constraints, and worst of all – I couldn’t get my long run done – I only did 14.5 instead of the 15 minimum I had required, and the last mile + of that was walking.

Now I’m in a bit of a pickle.  My goal was the Austin Marathon in 6 weeks.  I have thus far done one terrible 18 miler with much walking, one 16 miler, one 15 miler, two 14 milers, about 5 half marathon distance runs, and probably another 10 double digit runs.  My during-the-week training has been spotty as well. Most importantly, I’m not having success with my longer-than-half runs, my calves, hammies, and glutes seize up like whoa and running is painpainpain no matter how slow I take it or how many walk breaks I give myself.  If I simply was undertrained and was feeling good during runs I’d probably go for it, but this feels like there may be a problem.

I’m trying to remember how getting from 10k to 12 miles felt, but I really break down somewhere after I hit double digits. The super frustrating part is that I remember some of my long runs for halfs I really trained for wasted me for the whole rest of the day, maybe 2.  While I’m in major pain during the latter halves of these runs, after I walk, stretch, and get some food in me, I’m feeling great and could probably finish the mileage.  Either I’ve somehow lessened my ability to tolerate pain and uncomfortableness, or this is worse.

This week I’m loading up on potassium and calcium, and will attempt to take in more calories before and during the run, and see if that gets me through the 20 miles.  If not, then I have some hard choices.  Enter the proverbial pro/con list.

PRO running 26.2:

-I set the goal, I want to follow it through.

-I have a month set aside to rest and recover.  This is the right timing in the year with my other goals I want to accomplish.

-It’s one step closer to ironman.  If I can’t run a marathon, I will never do an IM.

-I want the silly little decal on my car.

-It’s proof that I can indeed do anything I set my mind to.

-It’s going to be HARD.  I haven’t done a race that’s really hard besides the arbitrary standards of time I set on myself for a long while.  Since my Olympic tri in 2010 for sure.  Everything else has just been either chasing a PR or for fun.

-5 hours of running is a good experience if I want to consider 6-7 hours on my feet for the half iron and/or century

-Not doing it after I said it so publicly feels like giving up.  I’m convinced y’all will think just a tiny bit less of me if I wuss out on this.

-I’ve been training for it since October.  If I wasn’t going to bother, I should have spent the time resting.  What a waste!

-This would be false start #2 for marathon training for me,  I’d like to see it through.

-I’m not trained up for a half marathon PR right now, so what’s the point of even running it?

CON (running 13.1):

-Supporting Joel to the finish line on his 2nd half marathon

-Running a distance I know literally is just another weekend jaunt and I can move onto other things sooner than a long marathon recovery.

-Another lesson to myself that every race is not just about Quix PR’ing it.

-Less chance of hurting myself means I can start tri training earlier

-I hate training in the cold, less time I have to be out during crappy cold weather! (Yes, I would much rather heat train – I’m silly like that…)

-Getting as comfortable as I am with double digit runs and running 4 halfs this season is still a huge accomplishment.  I’ve always run 13.1 miles and threw a fit and stopped running for a month and taken 6 months to even want to attempt a long run again.  A double digit run is now just another Saturday now.

-I will have another chance at a marathon in the fall.  After I run the half iron in October, I can bank on all that stamina and training from the summer and probably do the same thing I did with the olympic and the half marathon 6 weeks later in 2010.  Also, RnR San Antonio is perfect weather, a nice fast and flat course (which Austin isn’t), and I really liked it in 2010. (However, I was considering banking my endurance and doing a century in October.  Can I do both?  Will I be so OVER training by October that I don’t want to do any of this? Will taking the pressure off myself earlier in the year help lengthen my post season motivation?)

-I don’t feel ready for the marathon.  I’ve never entered a new distance feeling as if I had so far to go from training to race.  I don’t feel as if I have earned the right to do it.

-Unless the nutrition really is the key and I have a stellar 20 miler this Saturday, do I really want my first marathon to be mostly memories of being in pain?   Maybe it’s worth a few false starts to grow more comfortable with longer distances.

-Will I really feel accomplished and worthy of calling myself a marathoner if I just drag myself across the finish line in what feels like not a respectable time?  I don’t want to just finish a marathon, I want to run a marathon.  I’m not sure if I can do that yet.

-I don’t really have love and passion for the distance.  It’s really just a stepping stone to do something more (Ironman).

-If it was between a marathon and a tri, I’d have dropped the race like a hot potato.  This really is because I feel like doing this is the most efficient use of my time to improve for tri season.

-If I just make this call, all the stress about training schedules goes out the door.  I can start ramping up my biking and swimming NOAWWWW which is all I wanna do.  I am the sick puppy that wants to go out and buy my trainer NOAWWWW (yes, again for emphasis) and cycle through movie and tv marathons.

-I may just have to accept the cold hard fact that 178 lbs is heavier than my body wants to be to do the miles in a manner which does me proud.  Not that I’m an advocate of waiting until you’re perfect to accomplish your goals, but doing this after taking off 10-20 lbs later in the year (please, let that be reality!!!) might be a game changer in terms of how the miles feel to me.

So in summary, I have a lot of thinking to do.  Most people I’ve talked to say to not do the marathon, but I just can’t shake the feeling that I’m being weak willed about it and trying to cover it up by making it sound like I’m making the smart choice, and really, I just need to push my boundaries and buck up and do something REALLY HARD.  I may be longing for tri season and not feeling a lot of run love right now, but isn’t that always the case for me knee-deep in a running training cycle?  Right about now all I want to do is anything BUT run (but then the light at the end of the tunnel appears near race day and wheeee!!! the love returns in spades).

So yeah, my thinker is going overtime.  I’m also trying to think of what is best for weight loss, but it seems like my eating is pretty well in check and once I accepted that training more != the ability to eat crap and/or not be stringent on how many calories I’m taking in (make sure it’s an appropriate level), I don’t think it matters either way. So, if you were in my position, what would you do?  Will I regret the race I ran without full and complete feelings of preparation, or will I regret not taking the chance?

Five years ago (geez, was it really FIVE YEARS!!!  Holy crap!!!)… erm, wait, not the point, let me start again.

In Jan 2007, I awoke from my bed in San Diego morbidly obese at 265 lbs (estimated with rate of loss – I didn’t get a scale until 250s but anyhoo… I’m easily distractable today so expect lots of parens…).  My main priorities in life were work, work, work, and figuring out the easiest way to get through life without moving my body much.

Yes, I’m making light, but seriously, my idea of a perfect weekend was not leaving the house in my pajamas, moving only from the bed to our office and to the couch.  We were in a 600 sq foot apartment, so it wasn’t very far.  I wore stretchy skirts and shirts so I could avoid the plus size stores.  XXL at mervyns and target were my friends.  If you didn’t shop in the plus size stores or sections, you weren’t fat, right?  Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt folks…

However, that river ends.  Late 2006, we ended up taking a trip north to San Francisco for a friend’s wedding which necessitated jeans.  I didn’t own any.  I went and tried on 16s, then 18s, then was shocked to find that 24s fit me (and were even TIGHT).  Well, I certainly couldn’t be that plus size, so I resolved when I got back to really do it this time, buck the odds working in the video game industry (long hours sitting on my ass and unhealthy crunch food, oh my!), and lose weight!  Not the most epic reason for the epiphany, but whatever works, right?

I also resolved to work a 40 hour week instead of the 80-100 I was imposing on myself.  I was doing so much fast forward it wasn’t funny, and it never got to the good part when everything was sunshine and rainbows.

Early 2007, I got a good start taking down 25 lbs and then went on vacation and job hunted – once I wasn’t so caught up in my own work involvement and drama, I realized that I needed to move on (amicably), both professionally and location-wise.  This stalled weight loss.  Always in my life, anything that wasn’t optimal conditions stalled weight loss.

I relocated, I rejobbed, and BAM! My first week, I got a stomach bug that took me down 10 lbs in 5 days.  At that point, I had made peace with my 240 lb-ish self until “things settled down”, but some old jeans at my 230-ish self fit.  Of course, when the weight came back on and they didn’t fit anymore, I was sorta sadface, and thought, “Hmmm, there must be a way to do this without eating only Gatorade and saltines…”

After research, I found www.sparkpeople.com (I’m not paid, just a fan).  This was the “hacker diet” I had read and liked the idea of, without having to mess with my own spreadsheets.  I decided I would give spark a month and do whatever it said.  Looking back at what I was eating back then, it was utter junk, but it was LESS utter junk – in general around 1200-1500 most days, more on weekends.  Seriously though – how did I eat a PIECE OF FRUIT or a 100 CAL YOPLAIT for breakfast?  I would FAINT DEAD AWAY on that nowadays…

Also, sparkpeople said to do 20 mins of cardio 3 times per week, and 15 mins of weights 3 times per week.  I remember thinking “geez, this is a lot, how will I make this a habit?  This isn’t doable forever…”  I elipticaled Tu/W/Th to give myself maximum vacation from the “suck” that was cardio and did weights M/W/F.  On Wednesdays, I had to do a 35 minute workout.  This was SO MUCH TIME to dedicate.  I didn’t enjoy one bit of it, but spark said to do it so I did.

After one month, I had lost just about the same amount I did being sick, and I felt great!  Progress is the best motivator, so I kept at it.  I knew I had a long while to go, so I just dug in and kept going.

I wish I could share with you what a struggle it was to go from 240 to 170.  I would love to give you a dramatic play by play of what I gave up and my journey from junk food junkie to organic goddess, but that’s just not how it played out.  I spent August 2007 to August 2008 eating pretty much the same things, just less of them, and making myself do cardio and weights 3-4 times per week.  The scale went down pretty much every week, sometimes 0.2 lbs, sometimes 2.0, but I rarely had a gain or maintain week.  Once I got the inertia going, it was almost effortless.  I lost 70 lbs just by counting calories, most of the time keeping them under 1500 with some splurge-y days, and doing said workout schedule above.  I still smoked, albeit less and less, and I still got drunk, but less often, I still ate cake, but smaller pieces, and still ate tacos plates, but had the rest of my day healthy.

Racing was but a glimmer in my eye, and my only real goal was to make the scale go down, but somewhere in there I found a little joy and feeling of accomplishment in the workouts themselves.  And down it went until I got stuck.

Around 170 I had a bit of a plateau, but I attributed it it over a year of steady weight loss and just being TIRED of it.  I took a few months to maintain and give myself a break, and then refocused in Dec 2008 and continued the loss to April 2009 when I hit my low of 150.2.

April 2009 was also the month I started to train for my first half marathon.  I had run a 5k and got hooked.  I saw a “train for a hlaf marathon” plan in a magazine and figured “why not”.  I did another 5k and then a 10k before the race.  By the time I ran the race, I was 155 – one cannot train for a half marathon on 1200-1500 calories, and I didn’t count calories.  After two years of restriction, I’m pretty sure I just went crazy.  Can’t say that I looked anything but awesome though…

Besides about 2-3 weeks of pre-wedding crash diet where I got back down to 152 (and then spent a few days partying in Vegas pre-wedding, I’m lucky my wedding dress fit, heh), I’d never see the low 150s again.  By the time I ran my second half in Feb 2010, I was just about 160.  By the time I ran my third half and got through my first tri season in Nov 2010, I was 165.  I didn’t like the trend, but I still liked the way I looked in the mirror and loved what my body could do!  I PR’d a half marathon!  I was a triathlete!  I was unstoppable!

Last year, I’m not sure WTF happened.  I gained some weight when I hurt my back and couldn’t do much (170), and actually gained another 5 lbs trying to figure out my nutrition over the summer that never really came back off.  It’s a bizarre feeling having your insides feel awesome and healthy and athlete-y and having your outsides just keep.getting.bigger.  I can also credit just not being ready to put in the “do whatever it takes”.  I wanted cake more than I wanted to lose weight.  We raced A LOT this year and did a lot of long weekend training.  With that, however, came a lot of “OMG I just spent 2 hours on the bike and ran a 5k I’m going to eat and drink all the things for the rest of the weekend”.  I am living proof that you can absolutely outeat your training.  A lot.  However, I PR’d my sprint tri (did 3 total), I ran 2 half marathons, helped support Zliten becoming a full on triathlon and race addict like I am, and did other various and sundry 5ks, mud runs, and duathlons (PR’d that too!).  2011 was an awesome year – just not on the weight loss front.

Here we are at 2012.  I feel like something has awoken.  That patient determination, that something is wrong enough that I’ll do what it takes even if it’s hard (why I couldn’t do this at 5-10 lbs gained, I don’t know).  That I know I can’t just lose this weight in a month.  That I need to make some hard choices sometimes and focus on priorities.  That I probably need to continue tracking my food and calories for a while, and it may be doubly important during training season to make sure I’m not over/under eating.  That I’ll always feel like I can outtrain my food and it’s JUST NOT THE CASE.  That it’s unfair that a lot of people can eat more junk food than me and look like uber athletes.  This is my reality and I can accept it.

It’s not that I eat one slice of pizza and gain 10 lbs.  I can indulge for a birthday or a vacation or even because it’s Saturday and I’ve been good all week.  I’m not destined to a life of militant abstination from anything but veggies and chicken.  However, it has to be the exception and not the rule.

I’m starting the game over, the wakeup call I had in Jan 2007, but this time, the game has changed.

-MORE DIFFICULT: There are some foods off limits.  Instead of just a calorie goal, I also have my ratios (3-4 protein, 1-2 nuts, 4 oils, 1 grain, 1 carrot/corn/potato, 1 dairy), PLUS I’m trying to eat as much organic, non-GMO, no hormones/antibiotic, and 8-ingredients-or-less foods.  In 2007, my requirement was just less foods.

-LESS DIFFICULT: I’ve proven to myself that I could lose weight, fairly recently.  I haven’t only lost weight due to starvation or an accident.  I know it’s possible.  I just have to be willing to do whatever it takes.

-MORE DIFFICULT: Before, if I was feeling hungry, I could just go smoke, or get caffeinated, or just deal with it.  However, hunger made me kind of brain dead and weak.  You can’t get 100% out of training hungry and having given up smoking and caffeine (both for the most part), I have to really manage my hunger so it’s not crippling.  I have yet to have a day where 1600 calories is REALLY REALLY not enough, but I know that day will come, and I will need to figure out a better coping mechanism.

-LESS DIFFICULT: I only have to lose 25 or so, rather than OVER 100.  While needing to lose 100 lbs really impressed upon myself the seriousness of my condition, it also was a daunting, multi-year task.  If I really buckle down and stay on the straight and narrow, I could be onto the maintain part of this process by summer.

The point of this is to both to…

a) remind myself that I’ve come a long way, and if I can lose 100 lbs, anyone can.  It just takes the full and true WANT to do it.

b) focus on the task at hand.  After being in denial for a year or 2, and a long winter’s nap, I’m awake.  I’m ready.  Let’s get er done.

So yes, time to wake up and smell the coffee before I’m 250 lbs again and wondering what happened.  Starting next week, expect accountability and progress!

While I’m not exactly a slacker all year long or anything, it’s time to join the resolutioners and emerge from the long winter’s nap I’ve been taking and really hit it hard.  I have some extra in my middle to take care of and some marathon training to catch up on.

Last week I started training again – not with any speed or flair, but I got 3 solid, albeit SLOW runs done, even a double digit on Saturday.  This week, I go whole hog – back to complete and total healthiness, and training as much back to normal as I can while I cleanse my poor, junk food addled body.

The January Plan:

-No sugar.  No sweet treats, no deserts, etc, unless it’s fuel during a run.  Again, not going crazy trying to eliminate every source of hidden sugar from my diet but I’m trying to cut out the easy stuff.  Also, it’s easier to say no when I’m completely abstaining.  Exception is, of course, fruit, proteins, smoothies, and protein bars (which are very low sugar anyway) in a pinch.  If I’m freaking out, I will allow myself some homemade frozen yogurt w/stevia.

-1600 calories per day, minus long run day.  Long run day is 1600 + allowance for a reasonable amount of booze (~2000 total).  If I want to drink any other day, it has to come out of the 1600.  I’m treating this like a bank – once my calories are gone, they are gone.

-Continuing with nutritionist recommended 1 grain per day, 1 potato/corn/carrot per day, 1 dairy per day, 3-4 proteins, 1-2 legumes, and 1 nut.  Calories are king here, but attempting to stay with these ratios as closely as possible.

-Also continuing with the organic/grass fed/no hormones/no antibiotics thing, and trying to get back to the “less than 9 ingredients” thing whenever possible and it makes sense.

This week specifically:

-3 runs – speedwork (1k, 2k, 1k, 1k w/400m rest in between), tempo – 10 mile at planned marathon pace, and 15 miles.

-2 other sessions – DDR and either a bike or a swim.

-stretch after each session

-do my little plio7 strength routine each morning

I’ve got my groceries planned and we’re precooking chicken for lunches this week.  I’ll also be batch cooking *something* each weekend so we have some EZ lunches and dinners ready.  I’ve also conceded that keeping some decent frozen dinners around (like kashi, amy’s, etc) might be the lesser of two evils rather than getting takeout or going for other easy and less healthy options.  And I’m pretty sick of soup, I need more variety.

So yeah, the goal for January is trying to be boring for the most part, get some good healthy eating and training under my belt, consistency and some solid progress.  The only plans we have are the gorilla run (possibly) and Zliten’s first half marathon – 3M – at the end of the month.  I know I can’t be boring until I’m at my goal weight, but it will give me a good start.

Being that I’ve just eaten crap-tastically (for me) for a good chunk of December, and the fact that it’s TOM, I think I’ll skip the weigh in for this moment, and take it later in the week once I’m back into the swing of things.

Today: so far, so good.  One day, one week, one lb, and one mile at a time.  Let’s do this!

Before we pop the bubbly at midnight, here’s what I hope to accomplish next year!

1.  Take care of this weight problem that keeps creeping up.  Beyond my Zliten, and my job, this is what I need to deal with in 2012.  Continue to work with the nutritionist and take whatever steps necessary to end 2012 lower than 2011.  Starting the year at 1600 calorie avg, attempting to stick with my current ratios (1 grain, 1 veggie b, 1 dairy), should be interesting to see where I end up…  I’m starting on the typical Jan 2nd and will be really giving it a good solid effort.  If I can get a month of routine and weight loss under my belt, perhaps the rest of the year will go better.  Also – do not sacrifice quality of food.  Organic, pesticide free, hormone free, etc etc whenever possible.

2.  Work/industry goal:  While I enjoy what I do, I can see myself easily working my way up into more and more senior management, further and further away from the creative parts of making a game.  I need to get back there.  To really be inspired, I must play.  I’ve found myself having urges to play games this year, but the laptop I had was 5 years old and couldn’t play anything modern.  This has been rectified for Christmas – I have a nice, shiny, new lappy.   I don’t want to feel like I hold on to my gamer card de facto because I work in the industry.  Sacrifice to get this done: internet dorking time.  This website is probably not going to be updated any more frequently than it was this year.  Sorry/you’re welcome.

To that end I will:

-Dedicate one evening per week to reading, and one evening per week of gaming.

-Come up with one good, well thought out, game pitch, whether it’s something I take to work, or something that’s just for me.

3.  Race/workout goals:

-Finish a marathon, a century ride, and a half ironman.  I was going to go smaller on this and had written down “complete at least one new distance” to give myself an out, but in my head, this is what I have planned.  No sense in not putting it out there.  If all 3 don’t happen because I had to make a smart decision for my mental and/or physical health to drop to a shorter race or drop out, so be it.

-Note that with this goal, I’m NOT making the next goal to PR everything.  When I race a race, the goal is to always PR, but I’m really pushing the distance envelope this year, which means I’m ok sacrificing speed.  The only exception: sprint tris.

-Really concentrate on my bike times.  This is the best place for me to improve my tri times.

-Complete all TX Tri Series races (6 tris in 5 months).  PR at least 1.

-Take at least 3 months of the year not in training (off season) to mentally and physically rest.

-Stretch after every workout.

-Strength train 2x week (catch another crunchtime class at lunch?)

-Let’s try this again.  Run a race somewhere outside Texas.  I’ll have some opportunities next year, very likely San Diego.

-Volunteer at more races.  I was able to volunteer once this year and while I think it’s what got me sick for vacation, it was a great experience.

4.  Start one major house renovation this year.  Likely, the windows.  First priority, the kitchen windows that have no seals anymore.  This has moved up from just a one liner to a line item.  We’ve spent way too long looking at some major things in the house that need changing and being lazy.  If we don’t do this, something else just as major that’s on the list (counters, bathroom, etc).

5.  Yet again, more one liners:

-Get the office set up as an office/craft room, not a junk store room (we’re halfway there, it’s cleaned out, we just need to look for some furniture and decide exactly how we want to rearrange it and such).

-Decide what to do with the savings now that we have some, that doesn’t incude something at 0.000145% like our savings account.

-Do more batch cooking so having healthy lunches and dinners available is easier.  It’s not my favorite thing to do but I’m going to get really sick of Amy’s and Annie’s real quick.

-Learn to sew. So I can modify my horrible men sized race tees. And maybe making skirts. And other stuff.

-Learn the party rock anthem dance.  Every day I’m shufflin….day I’m shufflin….