Recently, I stepped back on the scale after the holidays. I’m not going to lie and say it was pretty, but 180.8 is not the worst I’ve ever been, and I needed some time to relax the food rules in December, and it’s a starting point. Onward and downward. At least, I’m trying to keep this attitude, but Zliten can attest to the fact I’ve had some mini-tantrums about it. Rational brain does not always triumph over the feels, sadly.
Then, I think about where I’ve been. I write a similar post most Januarys, and perhaps I should just link those and be done with it, but every year I gain a different perspective of what has happened over these last 8 years (gosh, has it been that long?) since I just barely fit in size 24 jeans and made that fateful new years resolution.
This year I had an epiphany on a run, as I am wont to do now that I rarely listen to music outdoors. I really should stop saying this phrase:
“I am not the kind of person who…”
Because I end up breaking the rules I set by saying that often. Year by year, I break down a lot of these barriers. If I stayed “not the kind of person who” of 2007, I’d be a very very very different person. For example…
2007: I’m not the kind of person who…
…is fit and active. I started the year here, at 265 lbs…
…and ended here. At 210 lbs I still had a long way to go.
However, the difference was night and day. I went from a walk around my apartment complex taking my breath away to 4-5 days of cardio and 3 days of weights being just part of the routine. Tracking my food (which I started using Spark People in September) helped me limit my intake enough to steadily lose weight.
2008: I’m not the kind of person who…
…weighs less than 200 lbs as an adult. I hit “onederland” (199) right before my 29th birthday in February. Best birthday present EVER.
And, I continued to ride the momentum all the way down to 160 by the end of the year.
…is a runner. I don’t know why, but this year I decided I wanted to try and run a mile, something I hadn’t done since 8th grade and certainly not something I ever enjoyed doing before. I almost passed out after, but I ran that mile in about 12 minutes – a far cry from my best of 7:50 of my childhood, but I kept at it and could run 5-6 miles at a time by the end of the year.
2009: I’m not the kind of person who…
…runs races. I did my first 5k in Februray and the bug bit me HARD. I was sure I would be the oldest, heaviest, and slowest one there.
Not so much. In fact, I followed someone that could be my grandpa the whole race and couldn’t catch him, but I placed decently well in my age group (top half, IIRC). That year, I completed 3 5ks, a 10k, a half marathon, and a 5 miler. Zliten joined me for one of the 5ks and that sparked a desire to do triathlon at some point in the future.
…wants a froofy white traditional wedding dress.
Funny that, when you feel like you actually look gorgeous in your dress, most little girls revert back to wanting to feel like a princess. Who knew?
2010: I’m not the kind of person who…
…is into triathlons. After a disappointing second half marathon when I got sick, I thought about the idea of training for a marathon, and those long runs over the hot summer sounded terrible. However, I wanted to sufficiently large goal to tackle, so I signed up for my first sprint and olympic triathlon at the same time.
After battling the terror of open water swimming, and the most painful 4 hours and 4 minutes of my racing life (and coming in something like 3rd to last), I was so hooked.
…can be the leader of a team. Well, it took a lot of guts for me to ask for the promotion when I wasn’t sure I was up to it, and even more blood, sweat, and tears to constantly do things that professionally scared me (read: talking on a microphone in front of the company, leading meetings, etc), but it was an exhausting and enthralling year getting my legs as a Producer.
2011: I’m not the kind of person who…
…would lose weight and gain some back again. I hit my low of 150 one day in April of 2009, and from there, it slowly crept back on, and this was the year I started to really notice and couldn’t stop it. My body found it’s happy set point around 175 and it still doesn’t seem to want to budge without drastic measures.
However, I’m also not the kind of person that lets myself get so frustrated about that and give up and regain back ALL the weight. 175 and fit is so much better than 265 and without hope.
…would have a husband that’s into racing. Well, that changed quickly once he got a taste of triathlons this year. For someone who hated running and swimming, he sure did like racing tris. I wasn’t one to question.
2012: I’m not the kind of person who…
…wants to really do long distance races.
True, I have fondness for the short stuff, but I completed a metric century, a half ironman, and a marathon. And I didn’t hate any of them. Kind of the opposite.
…races every other weekend.
We did 24 races in 12 months born out of a silly idea we had while drinking one night, and while it was TOO MUCH RACING, it was fun to conquer a huge big goal like that and stay healthy enough to start and finish that many races in a year.
2013: I’m not really the kind of person who…
…doesn’t smoke. I had gradually whittled down my consumption to only when drinking and switched to the organic kind (which sounds like bullshit even to me, but I could SO feel the difference in comparison) but letting go of it completely was hard. But I smoked my last cigarette at a 2012 NYE party and haven’t had once since.
DISCLAIMER: I still use an e-cig while drinking sometimes. I’ve done my homework. The juice I use is not the one with all the harmful crap in it that’s all over the news. Nicotine is a stimulant similar to caffeine in terms of effect and danger without all the other crap in it. The delivery system is essentially like a rescue inhaler. I won’t say it has no risks but as an experiment of one, I see a WORLD of difference between that and cigs.
…has the balls to scuba dive. It sounded awesome and terrifying at the same time, but after some conversations with Zliten about our upcoming vacation, which included a trip to Bonaire, which is one of the most beautiful places to dive in the world, we spent valentines day in class and on my 33rd birthday, I got certified.
So worth it. I still have trouble getting down sometimes with touchy ears, but it just takes patience. I’ve now seen 40-80 feet underwater in Aruba, Bonaire, Key Largo, Cozumel, and the Bahamas. It’s worth it to see this stuff up close.
…does something dumb enough to get injured enough to DNS races. I now have a few rules: a) try not to get that drunk b) don’t get that drunk ever on cruises c) don’t get that drunk ever on heels.
I would definitely say I have a healthy respect for what it takes to come back from an injury and will do all I can to not get there again either through being an idiot while drunk or being an idiot with overuse.
2014: I’m not really the kind of person who…
…places in my age group. Well, I usually don’t. But as of this year, I’d racked up a women’s OA win at the indoor tri, a 1st place at a 5k, a 2nd place at a half marathon, and finally placed 3rd at Gatorbait, my first AG placement in a tri. I’m finally at the point where I’m at least considering fighting for 3rd at small races, which is fun.
…could give up grains or batch cook. This was the second year of batch cooking and I feel like I hit my stride. I stopped attempting the super fancy stuff (tikka masala from scratch is phenomenal, but takes so long) and went with easier stuff that didn’t take all day.
I don’t want to say what I did was low carb starting in August, but I ditched the rice, pasta, and bread, and turned to fruit, corn, and potatoes as carb fuel. I wanted to hate it, but I ended up finding it kept my stomach more even, helped my triathlon race nutrition, and took some weight off (before I went on vacation and holidays and fucked it up).
…volunteers at races. We’d done it once or twice, but this year, we did much more. It’s a lot of fun being part of a triathlon while not always racing it. Plus, cool tee shirts and stuff!
In 2015, I wonder…
Currently, I’m not the kind of person who keeps an uncluttered house. But I’d really like to be, if I can find a way to do it without giving myself an ulcer about it.
Currently, I’m not the kind of person who runs every day. But for 17 days so far, I have been and I’m kind of loving it.
Who knows what kind of person I’m not – but I will be by the end of THIS year?
What kind of person are you not?