Adjusted Reality

Saturday morning (ok, at like 11:40 but still technically before noon, OK) I set out to decide my fate Feb 28th.

If it was another failed long run, either due to motivation or my toe or shin or whatever else the hell has gone wrong lately, I was going to cut my losses and change down to the half.  While I feel like 5 weeks of some speedwork would probably get me into shape to at least fight for a PR, which seemed like a noble enough cause and a lot of fun to pursue, it also felt like giving up.  So I gave little bunny foo foo one more chance to stop scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head do a marathon training run.

I spent 10 mins spinning out my legs on the trainer first, and then headed out into the sunshine.  There would be no day but today.  Perfect temps in the 50s and sunny, and a low allergy count left me no excuses.  Today, it was really only me who could get in my way.  I took off, slow but deliberately trying to avoid the gremlin in my head (and legs) that had plagued a lot of recent runs.

I wore my garmin simply because it’s hard to keep track of all the loops and twists and turns to get in a long run that ventures no more than 2 miles from my house.  And also, Zliten asked me to so he could analyze the data and live vicariously through me.  By the way, he takes his first run this week after his bear fight 3 months ago.  I’m both excited for him and know he’s going to need a huge hug after because that first run back SUCKS.  So does the second, and the third.  Somewhere around the teens it starts feeling like you actually own your own legs again.

The first mile was very stiff and slow.  While this streaking has taught me a lot, I still haven’t learned how to run a super slow mile on the treadmill, and Friday’s mile still lingered in my legs a bit.  When the first few mile splits popped up, my first instinct was “ewwww” then “nope, that’s ok” because I didn’t care if I was running like a turtle today if it helped me get my miles in.  I didn’t have my HR monitor on, but I’m sure the average would have been in the 130s.  Not at one point was I breathing hard.  This was pure frolicking in the sunshine, friends.

The miles kept ticking off slowly (around 11:40 average) and I ducked back into the house a few times to drop off clothing and potty and refill bottles and get gels and remember aquaphor before it was too late (yay minimal chafing).  Finally around 12, I decided I had best head away from the house before it got hard and tempting to stop and I decided to take on the key route.  I also got the number 22 in my head, because 10 more miles from that point didn’t sound too bad.

This route embodies three of my least favorite things – going uphill, lots of turns, and uneven roads.  My pace slowed even more for miles 15-18 working my way around the teeth of the key.  It got hard, but I didn’t walk, I didn’t stop, I just kept plodding.  I may have been really, really happy when the light went red as I got up to it and got a quickie rest, but crossing that street twice was my only stopping point in the last 9.5 miles.

I kept willing myself away from the house, so I wouldn’t stop prematurely, but soon I ticked over to 20 miles, my bottle was empty, and I was starting to feel the “I’m almost running a marathon” fatigue begin to nip at my legs, so I turned home and finished at the end of my block and hit the stop button on my garmin at 21.3 miles.  Much more of a random distance than I usually do, but I just decided I was done and that was enough.

I walked a quarter mile to cool down, spun 10 mins on the bike (yessss… this did wonders for my legs), and then took my victory chips and coconut water into the bathroom for the most painful ice bath I’ve ever taken.  I was convinced my feet had frostbite by the end.  Beer, couch, and delivery sandwiches ended the day rightly.  #lessboozejanuary not #noboozejanuary in full effect.

I’ve realized some things.

I’ve got this huge wide base now.  The kind of base where I can knock out this long run without much ramp up and also without dying.  I may have holed up on the couch for a few hours and asked Zliten to bring me everything, but today I’m up cooking breakfast and batchcooking food for the week and plan to run and maybe swim or bike later.  I’ve got some soreness in my legs, but nothing out of the ordinary.

In five weeks, I’m going to run a marathon.  I’m not sure how fast or slow I’m going to go, but I’m going to toe the line with the intention to enjoy the journey through these 26.2 miles first, and race it second.  Between allergies and work stuff and unpredictable weather and some lack of motivation to trudge/frolick for multiple hours solo, this has not been my most consistent training block, except in the fact that I have ran every day, and that has saved my ass.

I’d like to finish with something like 4:59:xx or better, but if not, I’ll coast in whenever I feel like it.  Yesterday’s pace would have clocked me around 5:07.  The pressure is off.  I’ve learned so much useful stuff from this training block that it seems like the only way to celebrate it is with 26.2 miles whichever way they come.

Sometimes, you simply have to cast an ultimatum into the universe, or at yourself, and see where the dust settles.  Last week, I was having a lot of mental torment because I went ahead and cast two of those thoughts out there – one with the marathon, and one with work.  Obviously, one was more important and life-altering than the other, but both came back with the same result.  Stay the course.  Hang in there.  Continue on.

And continue on I shall.  Pressure off.  Running on.

I wrote out this really emo whiny post, and then I got busy.  I feel a little less like listening to Death Cab for Cutie and putting on eyeliner, but I feel like I should chronicle where I’m at.

I got a promotion at work, with a nice title and salary bump.  I had been playing the “what if” game for a while, but that solidified the 2015 plan is to be Senior Producer over multiple projects.  Hence, things got busy as of Tuesday when that got made official.

We’re dealing with a lot of change, just when we got to the point where we were a comfortable, well oiled machine.  It sucks, and it took some time to get adjusted, but I think we’re moving on with life and finding the new normal.

I’m finding a weird part of this marathon training slump.  I’ve never been this consistent with mileage, and I’m not finding any issues with motivating to get a run in every day, but the idea of running for more than two hours kinda repulses me.  I was able to knock out a 15 mile run on the treadmill (I know… it wasn’t even as terrible as I thought it would be).  However, last week, I had no runs over 7 miles, but I had 33 miles total.  Starting last Friday, I felt super flat, like when I started running, I just felt… deflated.

I forced myself to do a longer run (7 miles) Wednesday, and the first half I felt like a half-full balloon, but the second half was awesome.  Same with yesterday’s run.  I’m hoping this is the upswing.

The fact is, I really only have 4 weeks left to long run before taper.  This means I need to hit 4/4 runs, or I really should bust down to the half.  This was an emotional touchy subject with me last weekend, but I’ve come full circle and accepting that it is what it is.  Tomorrow, I’ll set out to run and see what comes from it.  From that, I’ll decide if I continue to pursue the marathon or start playing the “get in half marathon PR shape” game.

I’m ending the running streak Jan 31st (5 weeks).  I had considered going longer, but I’m not.  I’ve learned that the world does not have to align just so for me to go for a fucking run, which I think sometimes I would wait for in the past.  Going forward, I’d like to run most days.  Getting in 5-6 miles at lunch is tops.  I think getting in random miles on the treadmill or outside when I have a few minutes around the house really adds up.  But, I also think I really need a cross training day the day before a long run (15+), though I don’t think an easy mile or 3 is a bad idea the day after.  I also think that a better goal going forward may be run, bike, swim or weights/stretch every day.  Something something.

My swim is improving like woah without even trying.  I’m rocking the sub-2:00/100m pace without even concentrating on it (get in, swim while thinking about other stuff and listening to music, steady pace).  Can I swim this marathon instead?

I am itching to be a triathlete again.  I want hard swim sets, biking outside, harder trainer rides, and for the lake to be warm enough already for fucks sake.  I can’t wait to really start the training to kick ass at the short stuff this spring.

No booze January was a bust.  With everything going on at work, I made it 11 days.  It’s Jan 23rd and I’ve had drinks twice and probably will on Saturday.  I’ve learned some things about myself and trying to a) not have drinks b) not eat crappy and c) not go out and spend money does not work at the same time.  I have not been quite as unhappy and bored as I remember the last two weekends at home, sober, and worrying about work/life stuff.  I had thought perhaps it would make me more productive, but it didn’t.  I had no fun and didn’t like it.

Less booze January did have some benefits though.  In that 11 days, my tolerance went way down, which is great.  It’s been a long time since a single beer did anything but make me burp.  Also, breaking the established habits of “I always have beer on this day” makes it to be a celebration/commiseration when it happens, not just because it’s Thursday.

The scale is all over the place (175 one day, 182 the next).  I have done a shitty job at tracking food, and honestly, I have no idea what my goal is with that because I’ve not yet found a calorie count that’s reasonable where I steadily lose weight.  I can definitely tell I feel fat lately because my instagram is all random pictures of other things, and not selfies.  Workin’ on it.

I’m about 50/50 with my goals for January.  They were probably a bit ambitious, so I’m pretty happy with that.

And, that’s that.  Heading off to run my requisite one mile, stretch and foam roll and maybe some core, and then rest up for tomorrow’s run.  Happy Friday, y’all!