Adjusted Reality

How’s it going, me?

Well, as I started this draft on Friday late afternoon, I had just put “Right now I want to go face down on a bowl of noodles” in a public chat at work instead of a direct message to Joel. So, there’s that. I decided then it was time to catch up here instead of continuing to work. Otherwise… hmmm, let’s see what’s been going down (on a bowl of noodles or not) in the last month or so.

• My colonoscopy went just fine, and I don’t have to do that again for many years. Yay!
• Last week in April, a gaming convention was in town, and I went to some of it and all the social events. Awesome for networking, fun times, but I definitely overconsumed in terms of calories. And beverages specifically. Fun times, but glad those aren’t often.
• May 10th we got up at 3am to hop a plane to Bonaire for a week! Finally! This was kind of a last-minute booking, when I wrote my last post, we only had tentative plans to go some time in the late spring. But work things came into focus, and we were able to duck out for the week between a major launch and before our Moulin Rouge tickets the Tuesday we returned. Diving was awesome, and while the vacation wasn’t really relaxing, it was enough to unspool me mentally. I’ve felt recharged this week at work and that’s really good news as I was getting kinda crispy.

So, yeah, been pretty busy around here, as always, and I finally have about a good few months where I don’t have a ton of social plans, travel plans, nothing crazy. So, it’s time to buckle down and make a nice, concerted effort on the tracking, weighing, etc etc and get some momentum going into late summer travel/race/chaos time.

#1 The Unwanted Kettlebell

I finally did the work to update all my weights in trendweight and looks like I’ve gained about 3 lbs since November. It is not unexpected or undeserved, but it’s truly frustrating to be a healthy, active, individual who tends to eat a lot of healthy food and only be able to maintain/lose when I am a very hungry caterpillar.

I’m also now understanding that 1200 + activity calories is probably too many to eat as a goal. Actually, it would be a fine goal, but it’s including my RMR, or my resting calories that I’m burning during that time too. Garmin estimates I burn about 1800 calories as a human doing human things (or 75 calories per hour, or 1.25 calories per minute) because I am more metabolically efficient than the average bear (grumble grumble). This is much less of a margin of error when I’m running for an hour (700 calories so like 10%) biking for an hour (500 calories, so like 15%), swimming for… haha, well, lets say 15 minutes (150 calories, so like 13%). When I am walking, that’s 300 calories per hour, so that’s a quarter of them. And no matter what, even the 10-15% adds up over time.

To lose weight, you need to create a deficit. An “easy” or at least gradual one is 500 calories per day. So, if I did nothing, I would need to eat 1300 calories a day. Miserable.

Good thing I always walk at least 1 mile a day, which is about 100 extra calories a day, minus the 25 calories I’m already accounting for (1.25 per minute x 20 minutes to walk the mile, so we are at 1375 as the baseline. Still miserable, but slightly less.

I do weights 3x a week for 30 mins. On average, I burn about 150 calories doing this each session. So, for the 90 minutes a week I do this, I burn 450 calories minus 112.5 just existing calories, so that’s an extra 337.5 calories for the week or 48 calories per day over the baseline. So, we are up to 1423 calories per day goal. Getting better.

The rest of my workout week (little lower than normal) this week will probably include one 45-minute bike (350 calories), one 10-minute swim (100 calories), and three 40-ish minute runs (let’s say 400 calories each on average, or 1200 total), so that’s 1650. Minus 219 for my existing calories during that time, that’s an extra 1431 per week or 204 per day.

So, this week, I should eat an average of 1627 calories per day to lose 1 lb. Since my workout schedule is pretty static right now (maybe 60 more minutes of cycling on a good week, which would add 500(workout) – 75(existing) = 425 more calories, or 60 more per day. So, as a guideline, I’m going to say I should be eating an average of 1600-1700 calories per day and ignoring what my calorie tracker says unless my activity deviates significantly and TBH, I don’t think it would deviate enough that I would NEED to eat more to survive, I just could.

What this probably looks more like in practice is 2-3 days at 2000, 2-3 days at 1500, and 1-2 days at like 1300. I am definitely consuming more than this now. Last week, best I did was 1600, and on average, 1956. My Fitness Pal thinks I overate by 500 calories. This new method says I’m over by about 2000, which considering how my weight is trending, seems to be more acccurate.

Also, this is a reminder to myself that if I can not just meet, but beat these goals some weeks, I’ll make faster progress. If 1600-1700 calories average is a 500-calorie deficit, then 1100-1200 calories is a 1000 calorie deficit to lose 2 lbs per week, which is the lowest you should safely go. I know myself, and I would go batshit insane on that calorie intake after like 3 days so that’s not happening. I love food. I enjoy whiskey (though I’m trying to enjoy it a little less to save on calories). 1600 is a good goal.

And FFS, if I can actually manage to lose 4 lbs per month, holy crap. That’d be the best progress I’ve had in a long time. I weighed in at 186.9 lbs today. I’ve got 18 weeks til Kerrville. This does include a 4th of July trip and a work convention trip, but if I can swing it, I could be back to my happy racing weight like I was in 2018-2019. Now, it just takes doing (the hard part, as always). But I feel mentally ready to go for it right now in a way I haven’t in a while.

#2 Sporty Stuff

I had honestly thought that I’d spend more time hiking this spring, but I have enjoyed the break from needing to spend major parts of my day on a trail. The process of working up to a 50k did some great things – I am super stable, I have great endurance, I feel stronger, and I suppose also that it helped me appreciate the relative simplicity in time commitment of triathlon training.

Since we last spoke, I have:

• Not missed a strength session. I did double one up the week before vacation, but it was a very long and productive arm workout with chest, shoulders, back, and biceps. And I didn’t do anything official during vacation but a week of hauling tanks and gear and myself with tanks and gear totally counts. The 25 lb dumbbells felt lighter after the week “off”, not heavier, heh.
• 11 runs. This is about 2 a week on average, not counting my vacation (which had other activity, see above). Starting a couple weeks ago, I’ve started to just do the workouts the Garmin has been telling me to do, and this has been awesome, I have some speedwork back in my life! It got cranky at me this week and lowered my VO2 max and put me on easier runs, but TBH, the weather got really hot, my sleep has kinda sucked, and it wasn’t completely wrong to do so.
• 13 bikes, so a little over 2x week. As it’s getting very warm, I have a feeling that I’m going to err on the side of hopping on my trainer in my nice, air-conditioned house, vs wanting to be outside.
• Swimming. Heh. Once. Yesterday. Hopefully I can get back into this soon. It’s just never going to be priority and it’s a pain in the arse to do (read: I cannot do it without leaving my home and traveling somewhere) but especially now that it’s summer, it feels SO GOOD.
• Walked 55 miles, which sounds like a lot but it’s about 1.4 miles on average per day. Def doing the bare minimum here right now, but that’s 55 miles (or 5500 calories) I would not have burned any other way!
• 17 Dives, 16h25m. Fun fact, I always thought I burned SO many more calories than I actually do diving. Now that I have the super fancy diving Garmin, I found out my heart rate stays super low (over all the dives, my average was 74 bpm) and searching the internet, the thermogenic effect in 82 degree water is also super low – so it probably just doubled my resting metabolic rate for a couple hours a day. Ah well. At least you burn a bit more by hauling tanks and gear and yourself with said tanks and gear around but not the “OMG IT’S LIKE RUNNING” I was led to believe.

My goal is to basically keep at it:

• 1 swim per week (like, really, it’s hot outside, this will feel very nice, it’s worth the annoyance)
• 3 runs per week (do what the garmin says)
• 3 bikes per week (tryyyyy to do what the garmin says, but prioritize running if it puts in too many “workouts”)
• 3x weights per week
• 1 mile (and probably pretty often just 1 mile) walk per day

#3 Adulting

Some things are in progress!

• Meet with a financial advisor on retirement (scheduled for June 2!)
• Clean out Joel’s office (murphy bed install is set for late June, then we can figure out the rest of the stuff in there)
• New goal for June – get all 4 bikes into the bike shop for maintenance and get my gatorskin tires off my race bike

I think that’s about it. I feel like there was some adulting I did in the last month or so, but I can’t remember it. So, I guess it doesn’t count.

#4 Hobbies

Book – I am at 99k (made some awesome progress this last month!) and I still have the final fight of the story and the resolution/epilogue to go. Definitely a longer one than the last two. I started this one in July last year. I’m going to do my damnedest to have my crappy first draft done by July. Of course, it’s a hobby, not a livelihood, but it’s good to have goals and I would love to read it like a book over 4th of July camping!

Photos – diving photos done from December done, I’ve sorted my winter trips and started editing… and then I broke my mouse dongle. So, I need to get another one of those so I can edit photos again!

Guitar – making the resolution this next month to get my acoustic tuned and play at least a few songs a day when I am WFH. I’m probably getting close to forgetting songs now and I worked so hard to learn them… I want to make sure they stay retained.

Vacations – we need to settle on our fall vacation. Was thinking some sort of sojourn to the northeast for fall leaf peeping, but the timing may not work out with other things going on this year during that specific time window (work trip, trip with family, race). I don’t want it to go so long that I get burnt out again and I also didn’t like doing the week after Thanksgiving trip because it felt like it kicked off 6 weeks of IDGAF holiday eating and the holiday season felt shorter somehow so definitely before then. So, maybe late Oct/early Nov for something?

#5 Work/Life Balance

Maybe it’s the vacation post-haze talking, or maybe it’s a project at work that had a lot of… anticipation and nerv-citedness around it finally finishing in a most amazing way, but I feel like this has been better lately. I’ve felt these pops of motivation this week that I haven’t in a while, so I’m super happy I seem to be emerging from the mental burnout fog I’ve been in on and off for way too long. I also know I have a 4-day weekend (Juneteenth, no plans) and a 4-night camping trip for 4th of July coming up as well. So, relaxing times are imminent, and I’m not even super stressed heading into them. Yay for me!

Going to go take my motivated self to go do some good over this Memorial Day weekend. 🙂

What else would a normal person do at 430am whilst on round 2 of colonoscopy prep but catch up on blog writing?

I mean, after that sickly sweet cherry flavored “gonna poop myself” drink and being up most of the night anyway with allergies? It just makes sense to write something in my delirious state killing time between bathroom breaks.

Soooooo… yeah, that super rough March went pretty much as expected and more. I posted my last missive right before we left for GDC. It was actually a great experience, both professionally and personally, but kinda took a toll. We stayed in a room – the first few nights – with other major quirks, but most importantly only one full-size bed. Not a queen, not a double, a full. One step away from twin. That didn’t work out for two grown ass adults. First night I turned in at a reasonable hour and just tossed and turned. After that, I figured I may as well indulge in the after parties, as it was the only way I was getting sleep. So, three nights of piss poor sleep, 8am-midnight+ meetings and then social events which were pretty much meetings with alcohol and food, and 20k+ steps per day and we were just exhausted to the bone.

We had planned two more nights/three days of fun and sightseeing for just us, and we were so tired we didn’t do a lot of it. I pretty much slept and read in the room on Friday after a few morning meetings except for a quick trip for dinner the Stinking Rose – one of the first nice places we had a “date” on vacation 25 years ago. It was really delicious, but we got sat in a corner by the window with the sunset coming in and kinda blinding us and were ready to leave once the food was in our bellies. We had snagged a rooftop suite for pennies (since the convention was over) and the plan was to get a bottle of wine and enjoy it on our patio… we enjoyed falling asleep for 10 hours each night instead. We made it through a bit of hiking but Joel didn’t have a ton of energy, so we called it at 8 miles Saturday (Golden Gate Bridge Trail to Fisherman’s Wharf) after a hearty crab chowder in a breadbowl and 3 miles in the Botanical Garden in Golden Gate Park on Sunday before completely unremarkable pho for lunch.

After the flight home (which landed after midnight), Joel woke up the next morning sick sick and I was kinda sick but not in a normal way. I never had any symptoms, but the level of tired you get when you get the flu or covid or something? Yeah, I felt like I was wading through sand mentally and physically for about 3-4 days. So, besides work? I slept. A lot.

I finally felt some energy back right around the beginning of April and started feeling like runs. Lots of them, but short. I think the first week back I ran like 5 times in 7 days (but between 1-3 miles a day). It actually was quite nice just to think “hey, I’ve got 15, 25, 35 mins right now, I’ll just go for a jog” and not worry about the length, if it wasn’t that much, I’d just go again the next day. I’m going to try to keep up that mentality. Getting a 2-mile run in isn’t usually all that’s on the plan, but it’s a really nice way to wake up if I can make it happen!

I took almost 2 weeks break from weights. I had planned for that during GDC – doing a super back bicep chest shoulder workout the day before I left and then just having “legs” be the 20k steps a day and hills that were San Franciso, but when I got back, see the “work and sleep only” plan. I tried, y’all, I really did. On Tuesday, I brought the weights to do a back and bi workout in my office. That was enough of a workout. I just kind of stared at them on Tuesday. And Wednesday. And Thursday. I finally picked them up on Monday the next week, and I’ve been good for the last two weeks and don’t see that stopping.

I mentioned allergies – those hit on Thursday and have been bugging me since. It’s all springy and pretty and I’ve been tromping around my house to get my mile walk in this weekend because it’s positively YELLOW with pollen outside. Colonoscopy prep + allergies has been super fun too. I already am doing weird things to my body by eating like I’m on a cruise and forgot what vegetables are, plus I also can’t sleep well because all the snot is dripping down my throat and making it all angry-like. I honestly cannot tell if it’s a mild cold or bad allergies but considering the status outside and everyone else in Austin whining about it, I’m going with allergies.

If I sound like a sad sack, I’m nothing compared to what Joel’s been going through. Instead of just “weirdly tired” he was sick sick the week after we got back. He felt better, so the next Monday, he accompanied me on a 2 mile walk and a 10 minute swim, which pretty much knocked him out for the first half of the week. Later on, he felt better so we increased his walk a little and had him walk 3 miles on Sunday. The next day, he was just shattered. So, to the doctor he finally went, and she diagnosed him with previously having the flu (which I assume I was spending time just fighting off) and then he caught bronchitis. He got 5 days of super-antibiotics. And just the last few days he’s finally felt like a real person again (just as I have devolved into the angry phlegmy pooping goblin!).

The good thing is that if I follow Joel’s trajectory for recovery after this procedure, I’ll be back at it very soon (maybe a day or two) and he’ll finally be ready to join me (slowly – first building up the walk to 3 miles without fatigue before doing anything else). I’m looking forward to a little bit of normalcy!

So, brief words about where I’m at with all the things:

#1 The Unwanted Kettlebell

I think I’m about the same weight as the last time I wrote here, which is actually not bad considering the week of ridiculous foods in San Franciso and not feeling well. My back-half-of-April resolutions are:

• Get caught up on my Trendweight. I’m months back and it would be nice to be able to legit track some progress here instead of guessing.
• I specifically didn’t track my calories the last three days of prep so I didn’t get anxious about having to eat weirdly, but back to it tomorrow (after getting whatever the eff I want after 36 hours of clear liquid diet crap)
• I have actually been not doing terribly at 1200 calories + activity, but I’ll start tallying my weeks now for reals.

Basically, now that I’m getting back to normal times, I’m going to do the normal things. I’ll get a baseline in April and try to set some goals from there.

Total tangent: I had truly wondered what the “cleanse” part of prep would do to my weight… let me tell you, after the liquid diet part of the day, I was one lb UP from the morning of, and after the first round of the evacuations – the bloating more than overcompensated for unclogging my digestive system, I was a few tenths up over THAT. So, the whole “do this cleanse and rid yourself of all this weight” malarkey going around? I’m going to say it’s nonsense. Eat healthy, stay hydrated, poop a few times a day, and you’re fine.

#2 Sporty Stuff

After feeling better and before allergies/colonoscopy prop, I had a pretty good groove here which I will aim to return to.

• 3x weights per week
• 2-3 bikes per week
• 3-5 runs (some real short) per week
• 1 swim
• 1 mile+ day of walking

I’ve had some pops of not just easy running and riding over the last month and a half, I’m looking forward to making that a habit. I had a really nice baby speedwork session – basically run hard down the hills, jog the flats/uphills. First 5k under 11-minute miles in a while without me really trying to push a pace!

#3 Adulting

Geez, I’m getting my butt looked at, what more adult is there? Besides that I even:

• Got my registration taken care of
• Got my eyes examined and got new glasses (on the way)
• Cleaned up my new office at work so it’s not a complete trash heap of boxes and bags

Going to give myself a pass for the rest of the month on must-dos and make a few goals for May.

#4 Hobbies

• Book – 75.4k (about 5.4k more than last time). It’s less progress than a good focused day, but I haven’t had a good focused day, I’ve had stolen hour or twos here and there. And forward progress is forward progress.
• Haven’t really touched much else besides voraciously reading the Villian’s Code series. I’m a few hundred pages from done on the last book and that’s pretty much been my hobby time since I’ve been sick or tired or pretending I’m sick so I don’t get sick. It’s been pretty relaxing.
• I’d like to finish my diving pictures by the end of the month so I can start something new.

#5 Work Life Balance

I can’t explain why this one has been so difficult, but it has been. I think I’m past the worst of it now, but I can’t lie, I’m almost looking forward to this procedure, so I get an extra day off guilt free. Sounds like I need a vacation – holy geez, I do, and I have one planned, but need to make sure we’re healthy for it. I had booked time off in a few weeks but not the accommodations/travel, so we’ll see if we can actually go then. I think I’m not going to wait though and take an extra 3-day weekend not this weekend (too many social things planned already to actually get the relax time I’m looking for) but next weekend.

No matter what, I resolve to have the plan, by the end of this month, for some time off to destress.

Whew, only been to the bathroom about 7 times since I started this post, let’s go for number 8. It hasn’t been the funnest weekend, but not quite as bad as I expected (at least in the prep part, DO NOT RECOMMEND doing with allergies keeping you up as well). Once I get er done, and get some dang food, I’m sure I’ll be a happy camper and feel relieved even my butt is healthy!

March is like the best month and also the worst month.

Case in point:

• Spring! Flowers and chirpy birds and one of the best times of the year (total pro)
• Wide variety of weather from 30 degrees to almost 100 degrees (pro and con but mostly pro, better than just cold and grey or just hot hot hot)
• Everyone’s birthday happens and its celebration time! Again. And again. And again. (pro for fun things, con for trying to eat healthy)
• Boss came out first week, traveling for a convention third week (pro for networking/collaboration, con for trying to eat healthy and also staying on top of focused work)
• Three shows (well, two, we missed the first one due to sheer exhaustion). (pro for fun stuff to do, con for eating healthy)
• D&D and Family Time (same, pro for fun times, con for eating healthy)

Also, the social overextension is real. I’m only through half the month and already reserving the first weekend in April to tell all the humans to GO AWAY. And I’m an extrovert (my job just pushes even the extrovert-iest extrovert to the limit). I am truly truly truly just looking forward to April so I can get back on track and stop gaining weight. It’s not that I’m not trying, at least half-assedly, I just really need a few weeks with nothing going on so I can actually get some momentum here.

I usually look forward to March but this year I was dreading it because of how packed it was, and it hasn’t disappointed in terms of how it is full of ALL THE THINGS. Just 15 more days to go. 🙂

#1 The Unwanted Kettlebell:

What can I say about this month?

• I am not weighing regularly and when I am, I am pretty sure it’s going up. Certainly not going down.
• I am not tracking my calories regularly, and when I am, they are more over than under 1200 + activity
• I am not entirely eating junk food, but I’ve had more than normal.

I think I’ve boiled my problem down to the fact that I’m almost always hungry, especially when I’m adhering to my calorie deficit, no matter how healthy I eat. What makes me lose weight (or even maintain, sometimes) is not enough to tick the “I’m satisfied” switch. When I eat healthier, I am definitely less hungry – it’s like the equivalent of a dull constant ache versus a sharp pain. Which is easier to manage. But like, I could pretty much always eat unless I have already overeaten (and even sometimes then).

While I can do my best while traveling next week, this is one of those situations where I have very little control over what I eat or when I eat it, so the only thing I can do is moderate how much I eat. And when you’re stressed, overtired, and constantly starving, that’s a really difficult thing. I am going to do what I can but not be overly worried about a few days of eating probably a giant bagel in the morning because it’s the only real and reliable meal of the day, snacks and coffee sporadically from 9am-6pm, and whatever appetizer/dinner is provided at the parties at night.

So, once I’m back from the convention and I’ve had a good day or two of sleep (I get back at like midnight on Sunday and turn right around for work the next morning), I am back to doing what has worked:

• Track my calories as I eat them
• 1200 calories + activity per day
• Eat all the veggies and fruits

The nice thing I can report though is that I’ve taken my blood pressure a few times a week and it’s been doing well enough to have my blood pressure consistently in the normal range, and not even right at the top.

#2 Sporty Stuff

I’ve been doing alright here – but my activities have degraded in March because – see above. ALL THE THINGS.

• Week of February 17 and 24 – 3 weights sessions, 1 swim, 3 bikes, 3 runs (exactly as planned)
• Week of March 3 – 2 weights, 1 swim, 4 bikes, 1 run (not as planned)
• Week of March 10 – 3 weights, 0 swims, 2 bikes, 2 runs (not as planned)
• Week of March 17 – going to try to squeeze one of each thing on Monday, then just an insane amount of walking the rest of the week.

I have a pretty solid schedule down though when I’m not disrupted from it:

• Monday – Easy 5k run AM, weights/walk to the gym and back after work
• Tuesday – Easy bike 30 mins AM, walk after work
• Wednesday – Walk and weights PM after work
• Thursday – Easy bike 30 mins AM, walk after work
• Friday – Easy 5k run AM, walk to the gym and back lunch
• Saturday – Walk
• Sunday – Bike Church (spin class), treadmill progression run, swim

If I make all these sessions, it’s a pretty good week. In the coming months I’d like to start doing one of those rides outside after work, and I’d like to make one of those runs not just easy but speedwork. However, I’m happy if I can nail the sessions first and make them habit.

#3 Adulting

…next.

#4 Fun Stuff

Since I last posted, I have…

• I’ve written about 5500 words in the book. This is like one really good day of writing, but I’ve broken it up into enough sessions that I honestly thought I’d barely written a few pages. That’s a good thing, since I’ve made progress while barely feeling like I’ve exerted an effort. I’m just a few hundred words shy of 70k. That doesn’t suck.
• Got back into editing my cruise and diving pictures from December
• Maybe picked up my guitar once (oops) but I did pick up my office Friday so I can actually GET to my guitar stuff again (yay).
• And done lots of social things including Sailor Moon: The Super Live show and going to Top Golf with coworkers.

I’ll possibly set some goals here next month but for now, see above with the March Challenge

#5 Work/Life Balance

This is not the month for it. 🙂 I really need a vacation (like a real one, not a long weekend with another agenda like a race or a wedding or really anything social around people). Once we have our launch dates locked in, I’m looking forward to getting all the fun travel planned for the year.

If I sound exhausted, burnt out, and frustrated… well, yeah, that’s where I’m at right now. Everything is too busy, so many things are up in the air, everything is inconvenient towards my goals, and basically everyone in the world is annoying me. And that’s not the greatest place to be, but I have confidence it’s temporary and I’ll be able to get back to a normal healthy mindset soon. But need to get through March first.

Somehow, with how casually we took the training for Rocky 50, it didn’t hit me that this was going to be the second hardest race ever, second only to the Ironman in 2018.

The lead up consumed my life a lot less than training three sports, but hike/running sunup to sundown definitely was reminiscent of some of the Ironman long days. Just at lower intensity. The recovery from these training sessions and the race itself was so much less (a week later, I’m pretty happy, the Ironman took like SIX WEEKS). However the day of? Very very difficult effort.

Instead of retyping a lot of things I’ve already put words to, I’m going to copy some of my social media posts leading up to and after the race for posterity.

20 miles at Town Lake -> 20 million lbs of cheese.

A while ago, we saw an eatery (right next to our gym, ?) called Deluca, which is a Brazilian Pizza restaurant. Yes, this is what it sounds like – instead of a steakhouse, they just bring around slices of pizza. We were ultra running curious at that point and said when we did our first 20 miler, we’d come here for dinner.

Well, today was the day. We set out around 1030am, and the weather was impeccable, and so was the people-watching. Most memorable was the end, with a guy standing on the railing of one of the bridges (drenched, as if it wasn’t his first illegal jump) and a dude in a toy tesla truck (NOT a little kid). We started with a “run 0.1 miles, walk 0.4” cadence but started increasing this once we gained a little confidence. Both knees and ankles felt cranky at times, but the broken parts rotated throughout my legs, so that means it was nothing serious and while I am generally sore all over, nothing is too bad. For, ya know, doing 20 miles.

Feeling confident (at least more confident) about the 50k in February. I think if I had someone feeding me through the whole day I coulda kept going. 11 more miles? Well, we’ll find out. And I have a few more of these planned to test this theory.

We finished around 430, and headed home to clean up as quickly as we could and then consumed lobster bisque, arugula salad, meatballs, and I think I counted 13ish small slices by the crusts left… about a small pizza’s worth. The Turkish lamb pizza was the best and I’d go back maybe even for the Ala carte if not the full gluttony.

I die now. I have a personal trainer appointment at 10am tomorrow and I know one thing for sure – it ain’t leg day. ?

First 20 miler (Dec 29th)

Been a really super by-the-books build to a 50k. ?

For example, we had 22 miles on the plan because, idk, it was somewhere between 20, which we did last time, and 31.1, which is race distance. We had tentatively planned to do another long run/walk and picked 25 miles because our longest training runs for a marathon are 20 miles, and then you add 10k on race day. Samesies here.

So, because time is an illusion these days, I had our 25 planned for last week in January, which actually ended up to be Feb 1, which was 7 days out from the race. Oopsies. And the next two weekends don’t really have time for stuff like this, so when I asked @jetsers if he could wrap his head around 3 more miles he pretty much did this ?and our counter went from 17 more miles to 20 more miles at mile 5. Glad I have such an adaptable adventure buddy.

My nutrition plan for the race is basically 2x some kid’s school lunch. I ate two chicken salad sandwiches and two bags of chips, maybe a scoop and a half of tailwind, and a few handfuls of candy. I burned about 2800, ate a little over 1k, and felt pretty good the whole time. Definitely need fewer calories to walk/run than just run.

The first 13 miles were awesome. We started the first 3 faster to warm up, running half a mile, and walking half a mile. Then, we took the whole 10 mile Town Lake loop with the camelback after a change of shoes (I’m breaking in new trail shoes so lots of changes today) with about a .2 mile run, .3 mile walk cadence. By the end, Joel had crampy calves, and sadly a pit stop and nutrition didn’t fix it, so miles 14-20 were mentally rough. I can’t walk as quickly as he can without something cramping myself, but I still possessed the power to run, so I just turned on the headphones and let him pass me, then I caught up and got ahead until he caught me over and over.

The next stop was just after 20 miles and I changed shoes again and we agreed on at least 3 more and somehow finished up 5 just as it was getting a little sketchy to see with my sunglasses on.

Pretty fun day overall, and had the best Indian food for dinner. We ordered 3 entrees and an appetizer. Some came home but not as much as you might think.

Bring it on, Rocky 50k! But… um… not right now, thanks.

Impromptu 25 Miler (Jan 12)

Twelve hours from now, we will attempt to go further on foot than we ever have before! ???? ????

After a lovely morning but also stressful morning of work, we shut it down and started to prepare for tomorrow.

50k race prep is something different:
-Get ice, like 50 lbs of it, so we have enough for the camelback twice even if some melts
-Nap. Totally important part of today
-5k walk back and forth to packet pickup and race briefing, and dropped our drop bags off
-Eating alllll the food. My body somehow knows what it’s in for tomorrow, and I think I ate four full meals today
-Race nutrition prep: using an entire half loaf of bread to make chicken salad sandwiches and sunbutter jellies for Joel White as well as all the chips and candy
-Kinda feels weird laying out a tank top and shorts for a Feb 8th race, but here we are with a high of 83 tomorrow. It’s better than 30 and rainy for a trail race!

Everything is now locked and loaded, all the stuff is packed, and only one more sleep until Rocky 50! Woo!

Day Before Rocky 50 (Feb 7)

Rocky 50… ??

I was unprepared for the adventure that was to be. I mean, I trained for it. But I highly underestimated the difference between the trails I trained on vs the Rocky course. It wasn’t the elevation, as this was pretty mild, but… the roots. They mentioned them but I was like, whatever, trails have tree roots. This course has ROOTS.

For some reason at the start, my legs weren’t feeling fresh and it never really got better, but sometimes that’s what the day gives you. I have no shortage of training on tired legs so it was what it was. Joel thought we forgot his sandwiches in the camper, so we took a .75 mile detour and found they were in his pack. D’oh for both of us forgetting to check. We kept a nice pace the first loop, enjoying the aid station buffets – normally there’s PBJs and fruit and chips and pickles, but bacon at mile 9 and 15 was a treat. I ate my chicken salad sandwiches as planned and noted some candy when spirits got low. I was a hydration champ and even ran my camelback out between the 6 miles between stops, which is not normal for me but I guess that’s what a random 85 degree day in February does.

I also had my first trail fall around mile 14. My foot caught something invisible and I went down… but thanks to 13 years of gymnastics muscle memory kicked in and I just tucked my head and rolled over my shoulder. It freaked Joel out but I was fine (sorta, have a nice little bruise on my shoulder today but it didn’t even register on the list of hurts yesterday) and we proceeded after I unsuccessfully tried to brush the dirt off.

At the halfway we had a little sit and reapplied sunscreen and used the potties and were off again with just about a 12 min stop. Our pace continued to slow but it was what it was. At 18, we stopped on a bench to eat and I took my socks and shoes off to try to clean out some trail gunk as I felt hot spots starting to form. Wildly unsuccessful but it felt nice. By the 21 mile aid station, I was having a rough go of it. With training, I was done or at least almost there and I still had 10 (actually 12 <>) to go and that’s a lot of miles. This one was the highlightfor me as the had super salty ramen AND mashed potatoes made with chicken broth. Not for Joel though. They accidentally fed him a quesadilla with peanut butter, which was bad news since he is highly allergic. I watched him for the next few miles to make sure we didn’t have to call it. Everything was fine. Ish.

This was the low point if the race for me. 21 miles is a lot, and in training I was either done or almost done. I had 10 (actually 12 ><) to go and that’s also a lot of miles. The time between this aid station and the next at 26.5 was approximately 10 years. However after a sit, a refuel and refill, and rubbing some trigger point on my aching knees and back, I felt better.

We left there at 6pm, which was about our anticipated finish, and still had miles to go, and I was thankful we had packed our headlamps just in case. Unfortunately they were both decade+ old, and mine was dim and Joel’s died quickly. So, he used the flashlight on his phone with me behind, calling out each rock, root, muddy spot, whatever. I spent 2.5 hours looking at the ground directly at my feet. It’s honestly the most monofocused I’ve been able to be in a long time. Root. Root. Rock. Mud. Step down. Step up. Nothing existed beyond the two feet in front of me.

So we plodded. And plodded. Root. Root. Rock. Mud. Step. Step. I made an exception to my complaint rule when the girl that passed us said she thought there was 2.5 miles to go and my watch was already at 30 miles. But nothing to do but plod forward in the dark and quiet. Root. Root. Rock. Mud. Up. Down. And then finally the dark became light and there was the finish chute and medals and cake.

More thoughts about the aftermath and the future later, but I am certain this was the second hardest race I’ve ever done, coming in just after the full Ironman in 2018. It’s nice to be back to doing difficult physical challenges again.

Today is about ice packs, relaxing, and eating and drinking all the things.

ROCKY 50 Day (Feb 8)

50k tales continue!

After the race, we hobbled around to collect our stuff and sadly, the drop bags weren’t there yet (next time we’ll probably skip it… if there is a next time). So I convinced Joel not to just take a lazy shower in the sink but an actual shower. I navigated the camper stairs and grabbed shower stuff – he walked the extra quarter mile to the truck, it was only fair, and oh boy, that was an absolutely wonderful crappy campsite shower. After we got our bags, we made microwave cheese enchiladas and had a few beers to ease the ache in our legs and then slept like the dead.

Sunday was an awesome day of reading and napping and eating and repeating all that again. These long efforts at lower intensity are definitely serious in the moment, but recovering is so much easier than running marathons or Ironman, even halfs. My biggest complaint was the giant blister on my toe (might post in the comments, it’s impressive and two days later HASN’T POPPED YET!), some chafing, and yeah, sore muscles, but I’m not hobbling or anything.

All the wonderful calories I consumed didn’t mix well, and I was up for a few hours feeling icky last night, but I woke up today feeling great! We had a nice, eventful ride home, stopping at a gas station burger shop that was AMAZING (all the beef came from the ranch behind it). And now, we’re unpacked, showered, and having one last hurrah at Pinthouse Pizza before calories matter again tomorrow.

My thoughts on 50ks: I am pretty sure this isn’t a one and done for Ultramarathons, but I’d also like to get stronger on trails first at shorter distances before I try again. Eyeing the half marathon we did in June last year as the next trail race (mostly for the excuse to camp again). Playing on trails for the morning sounds nice. Thirteen hours was a lot. ?

For now, hikes and walks get to go back to being for fun/activity, and after a week or two, I may reintroduce myself to my bike and the pool.

ROCKY 50 After the RAce and day after (FEB 8-9)

And a week later, admittedly a week of just walking and weights, we went on a 12-mile Walko Taco and I’m prepping to return to running tomorrow. All in all, it was a pretty cool experience to push myself that far again. A nice reminder that I can do the difficult stuff physically, even if I may not be in the peak physical condition I was pre-pandemic. I’m looking forward, as I said last post, to establishing more consistency vs the “weekend warrior” type training we did for this race, but it was super fun to go out and spend 4, 6, 8… 13 hours on our feet persistently moving forward to remember that sometimes, it’s just all about being too stubborn to quit.

I had a feeling this year wasn’t going to start out hardcore progress towards weight loss.

Let’s not call me a pessimist, but a realist. And, shocker, REALISM won out over progress.

• Week 1: surprise visit from the parent parent company CEO. Ended up being a very nice meet and greet, but it added a twist to what’s normally a week of just remembering how to human again after the holidays. Cold AF weather. Also, impromptu 25-mile training day when I realized that it was my last chance with the coming weeks ahead.
• Week 2: Theater outing and then a trip to Houston for a wedding. Less activity and more “sometimes food” than normal. Also, work begins to escalate.
• Week 3: More cold AF weather. Work ramps up to insane levels of insanity, we have D&D night and hosting the parents in the same weekend (social overextension, engage!)
• Week 4: Work gets even more stressful, last training day of 10 miles, allergies hit hardcore in Austin and I want to die.
• Week 5: Weather drama! 50k race! (post forthcoming) Work stress! Oh my!
• Week 6: 50k race recovery and uh… nonsense. More cold AF weather. Work reaches a crescendo where it feels like a four-day work week was at least two months. But… there is light at the end of the tunnel as some things have come to a conclusion.

So, here we are approaching Week 7, where it’s time to reset, stop the nonsense, stop making excuses, and get with the program, and make some progress. Now, to be fair, there needs to be a program again to get with. This has been solved.

#1 The unwanted kettlebell

I maybe had one week where I did good, every other week has been… eh. Either I’ve fallen off tracking or at least failed at keeping the numbers in balance. I have proven to myself time and time again if I don’t measure what I eat, I will overeat and gain weight. It’s just the price I have to pay to be me. It’s no big deal if I keep up with it every day, taking wayyyyy less time than doomscrolling or my Duolingo sessions. So, back to it. No excuses. 1200 calories + activity (and looking to average about 1500-2000/day depending on what I’m doing now that I’m not doing 5+ hour training sessions with some weekdays where I’m only walking 1 mile – workouts should have more consistency).

Due to various reasons above, I haven’t had that chat with whiskey yet. That happens today and the pins come out. I have a set number of drinks I’ll let myself have in a week, and each time I have one, I move the safety pin out of a glass in my kitchen. When the glass is empty… I’m done for the week (just like calories – when my calorie bank account is gone, I’m done eating for the day).

I have been so/so on lots of fruit and veggies. When I go out of town it disrupts my normal eating, and then also disrupts when I do a grocery order/get Snap Kitchen. Both trips we put off getting groceries a whole week. I need to aim to replenish my produce quicker once I’m back or I end up eating junk/takeout. The good news is that when I’ve taken my blood pressure, I’ve been normal. The one thing I have stuck with is not salting my food, and that seems to have been enough to keep that in line.

So, the big thing here is just go back to measuring things and re-establish the good habits. Today honestly feels more like New Years Day than Jan 1 did because I knew what I was up against early in the year. I mean, it’s not going to stop and it’s never going to be the perfect time. I’ve got March coming up which is always challenging (everyone’s birthdays! I’m going to GDC this year! office grand opening so we will have EVENTS! so many social obligations I’m already dreading the overextension!), but I have a few weeks to get there with some better practices and momentum. So, let’s make that happen by focusing on those.

#2 Sporty Stuff

Now that we’ve conquered the 50k, training will go back to being more reasonable than 5 to 8-hour hike/walks. I’m actually excited to get back to a little bit of triathlon training, if for no other reason than the variety. Trails have made me super strong and sturdy, so I don’t want to give them up completely, but maybe once a month for the hikes and for a few hours instead of most weekends for half of the day, and for fun, not trying to keep a specific pace.

I also am ready to re-acquaint myself with my bike (and possibly swimming). I can count on one hand the number of times I rode my bike since Kerrville, and I don’t need any fingers to count my trips to the pool (zero). I had thought PERHAPS I’d just gravitate towards one or both of those for extra inside activity but hopes and thoughts here did not work.

I need a plan. So, I’ll do that. Here’s what my next week will look like:

Week 1. Weather sucks Wed-Fri (Sat may be a little cold but not quite as bad).

• Monday – Run 5k, walk to the gym and back, lift chest and shoulders
• Tuesday – Bike 30 mins, walk 1+ mile
• Wednesday – lift back and biceps at home, walk 1 mile on the treadmill
• Thursday – Bike 30 mins, walk 1 mile on the treadmill
• Friday – lift legs with trainer, swim (???), walk mile inside
• Saturday – 5k+ run, walk a mile
• Sunday – walk

And now, let’s be honest about all the challenges to do this and get back to a calorie deficit.

• Monday – weather will be beautiful, and I have the day off. No excuses here.
• Tuesday – I’ll do the bike in the morning, so I don’t skip it. Weather looks nice for a walk outside so that should be enjoyable.
• Wednesday – Weather will suck, so not planning to leave the house for workouts. I can do all this between meetings at home.
• Thursday – Weather will suck, so I’ll do this in the morning at home so there are no excuses later.
  • We have a filmed interview that afternoon for work and a happy hour. I’ll plan to eat healthy foods at home (no going out for lunch or dinner too) and enjoy a few drinks as the calories allow.
• Friday – Weather will suck so this will all be inside. I have a trainer appointment anyway so I’m going to at least bring my swim stuff and TRY to swim.
  • D&D after work which means snacks. I’ll stick with the least offensive calories ones (pretzels/veggies/dip) and not buy anything fancy. Something like a big salad and brothy soup for dinner so I’m full on less calories than a normal meal.
• Saturday – I want to run so I will suck it up in what will be something like 40-ish degrees, with a walk cool down.
  • Family day. Woof. This one is difficult. Big meal, dessert, and in proximity to second helpings and snacks for 6+ hours. So, I guess I’ll make it a game. Every hour, I can pick at something but no more than that. If we eat lunch at noon, I can have a spoonful of extra veggies at 1. I can have a bite of chex mix at 2. I can pick up an extra slice of protein at 3. And… a small slice of whatever is dessert. I always feel sick after eating sweets, I really just want a taste not a full serving.
  • After the previous 3 days I will be socially overextended so plan some calories for a few drinks while reading my book and not talking to anyone.
• Sunday – Day off of everything (besides walking). Make sure to have a plan for Sunday morning food that fits in the calorie budget instead of ordering whatever for delivery. It does look really nice for a walk though, so enjoy it!

Yeah, it’s a lot. But at least thinking through what the week will entail helps me anticipate the situations where my plan will go off the rails. Weirdly enough, the week after has beautiful weather and NO social obligations, so it may look more like this:

• Monday – 5k run, walk to gym after work and lift back and biceps
• Tuesday – 30 min bike morning, 1+ mile walk after work
• Wednesday – lift legs at home, 1+ mile walk at lunch/after work
• Thursday – 5k run, 1+ mile walk at lunch/after work
• Friday – walk to gym, trainer chest and shoulders, swim
• Saturday – bike ride outside for the first time in forever
• Sunday – beautiful walk in the sunshine

…but, we always want to reset the plan the weekend before because who knows, I could have a long lost relative come into town or the opportunity to fly to Fiji or nuclear winter could happen (in which case, I probably have bigger problems).

Another thing that helps with this is using our “The Plan” spreadsheet where we would put all this stuff before, so it wasn’t a surprise what we were eating or doing or how we were working out that day. So, I’ve resurrected that as well.

In terms of the other stuff:

#3 Adulting

• We (mostly Joel!) cleaned out the nonsense in the cubby under the coffee table one day. It’s been bugging me for years. Most things were just junk but found some gems (old game CDs, etc).
• All the goodwill stuff went to goodwill, and the Christmas stuff got taken down… later than I’d like to admit but we got there!
• Doctors!
  • I had my checkup (I am a healthy human specimen, yay)
  • Had my pre-visit for the 45-year-old thing (colonoscopy) which I will have in April like a good girl even though I really wanted to just go for the “poop in a box” route (at least will do the actual procedure for the first one)
  • Had my moles checked and none are worrisome. Also yay!
• Lots of truck and camper drama to get us to the 50k race (again, mostly Joel) but everything is taken care of now.

For the next two weeks, I’m going to focus on the first two goals (building good habits) rather than more chores, but I do have some spring things I’d like to do so we’ll get back to that soon.

#4 Fun Stuff

I have been MOSTLY consumed with work, prepping for the 50k, cranky because of the weather and other stuff, and feeling socially overextended so I haven’t done a ton here. But, to not sell myself completely short:

• Saw two theater productions – Clue and Les Miserables
• Weekend trip to Houston for a wedding and a day of sightseeing in the city
• D&D with friends (and again this week)
• Family day (and again this week)
• Worked on the book at least once (and planning to this weekend as well)
• Picked up the guitar a little bit, but annoyed with the state of my office and the state of my guitars
• Some photo editing in there as well but definitely not that much
• Camping trip to Huntsville TX for the 50k race and relaxing after
• Walko Taco Day #2!

I have spent a lot more time reading and staring off into space to relax vs creating. It’s ok. It feels like the circle is coming around again. I shall restate my intentions and move along:

• 1 hour minimum of book work per week (more is great, but not to any point where I feel frustrated or burnt out)
• 1 guitar song per WFH day
• Get back to editing some photos while watching silly TV or just as a way to wind down after work vs doomscrolling

I think everything else waits a bit to be in focus. Trying to do all the things at once usually fails spectacularly.

#5 Work/Life Balance

This was absolute rubbish the last few weeks. I worked a full day in Houston only quitting an hour before leaving for the wedding. I reversed half a PTO day the day before the 50k because I just couldn’t NOT work. These were acute issues that have since resolved themselves, but it sucked that I couldn’t do a trip without work yet this year.

In the next two weeks, I resolve to swing the other way – putting work in a box when I leave and picking it up the next business day FOR REALS. I have done a good by keeping a solid to do list, have occasionally shut down Teams chats long enough to get focused work done instead of doing it badly while distracted, and I did schedule myself the 4pm hour daily basically to strategize on problems I don’t have time for otherwise, do correspondence I’ve been putting off, update my To Do list, and start winding down for the day. Not to say I can always leave by 5, but it’s the start of my wrap up most days.

So, yeah. February (the rest of it at least):

• Track the food, track the booze/empty calories (and aim for less of it), treat both things like a bank account that cannot be borrowed against. Make a food plan.
• Make biking and swimming a thing again and follow the workout plan.
• PLAN PLAN PLAN instead of winging it and then being surprised when things surprise me.
• 1 hour/week on the book, edit some photos, pick up the guitar but like the first three things on this list are the most important.

…and then we will deal with March things in March and figure out how to navigate birthday and traveling fun times without killing my momentum. But first, establishing that momentum with New Years Day Take Two!