Adjusted Reality

“Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.” – Mark Twain

This Is Why You’re Fat, People

If you’re hungry, why don’t you go ahead and skip this post?  Or not, this might actually gross you out.

Anyone else look at this and while feeling disgust, also feel a bit intrigued?  I mean, we’ve all seen the Double Bacon Hamburger Fatty Melt, the Gastronomic Surprise,  the Burgers the Size of Texas, and Donut Burgers….but they just seem surreal.  I mean, the pizza above is making my mouth water, but it’s just because I’ve had an unreasonable craving for pizza I haven’t satisfied yet – all it will take me is a slice or 2 of a Conan’s Savage Pizza and I’ll be good.  The rest of the page is just….eww.

I guess what irks me is… do we really need to encourage such gluttonous behavior?   When you’ve got food like that, somehow that makes burgers like these ok, even when they are more calories than a normal, weight-maintaining human should eat in a day, with fries.  Now, I’m all for indulging a craving.  I am going to have that damn pizza after I finish my 5k on Saturday with 100% no guilt.  However, I know myself, and even though it will be a “splurge”, I will eat probably 2 pieces and a salad (so about a 700ish calorie meal) and then go back to being my normal self until the next craving hits.

In my past life, we would order a large pizza, and for one meal eat half each.  Usually while imbibing some sort of adult beverage.  With this would usually come some sort of cheesy bread or wings.  But, since it’s not corn dog pizza, I figured I was ok.  Normal people order and split a pizza and some wings – it doesn’t seem so gluttonous.  Sure, it wasn’t an every day thing, but it sure happened more than I’d like to admit now.  If each slice of supreme pizza was about 270 calories, and each bread stick was about 150 calories…and we’d douse the whole thing in ranch, so that’s another 200ish calories…you’re looking at close to 2000 calories even BEFORE the booze.

So which is worse?   The gluttous websites that are popping up with ridiculous food like this, or the fact that food we consider “normal” like grabbing a burger at chilis or having pizza night with breadsticks and beer entails consuming more calories than a normal human should in one day?  Is it the outrageous feats of eating and culinary creation like the corndog pizza that are doing us in, or is going out for chinese food and getting a 1300-1500 calorie dish of General Tso’s or Orange Peel Beef (before the rice, soup, and eggrolls)?

I postulate that it’s the later, not the former.  I mean, corndog pizza would have been an event.  Stuffed crust pizza, which is just as reprehensible calorie-wise but a little more socially acceptable, was just dinner.  What do you think?  What’s the worst thing you used to eat before you decided to be healthier?   What’s your richest indulgence now?


Happy Stupid Cupid Day


I Skipped Working Out For A Week And Nothing Happened.


  1. With my current state of unhappy tummy-ness, that pizza entirely doesn’t pique my interest. Except for noting that the corn dogs are still on their sticks. o.O

    Nic’s eating a few burgers and stuff that have earned him pictures on walls, ’cause he ate it all. But he’s a skinny stick.

    I think it’s a shame that most people have no idea what they’re eating and for the most part, they don’t care. I know I’m probably horribly biased, but I’ve been an avid label reader for the last seven years or so. At first, I just had to avoid dairy, but it was still a thing. As my accepted food list gets smaller and smaller, I’m like a label-reader extraordinaire! But since there’s not much I can eat, these days, it’s not difficult to keep a weather eye on my calorie consumption. I mean, dear gods, I’d love to just be able to have even A slice of pizza, much less three.

    I can’t even think of what my richest indulgence is these days. But, I’m in a different boat than most people, I think. Most people avoid X food because of the calories or whathaveyou. I have to avoid it for health reasons, and if I don’t, I’m in some serious gastronomic pain. So it’s not even a matter of cheating. It’s a matter of pain management, sadly. Meh. I know I’m on a downswing right now, so that ain’t helping.

    What did I used to eat that was bad, before? Well, at Carrabba’s, they have this disturbingly delicious dessert, the Sogno di Cioccolata (Chocolate Dream). Omg. A rich fudge brownie brushed with Kahlua, crowned with chocolate mousse, whipped cream and
    chocolate sauce. Dessert used to be my weakness. *le sigh*

  2. I just realized… I’ve never had stuffed-crust pizza. Oh well. Maybe some day. 🙂

  3. yeah, I got stuck on that pizzapic.


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