Adjusted Reality

Growing up, I was never a great leader of people.  I was perfectly content to work by myself, off in a corner, not depending on anyone, not having to really be interdependent on anyone else, and I was CERTAINLY not the one bossing people around.

However, by some strange twist of fate – I’m boss lady.  Have been on and off for the larger part of the last decade in some capacity.  I used to think that if I could do it, anyone could, but I’ve been party to enough spectacular failures now that it’s not the case.  So, I’ve been thinking on what makes a team and a manager succeed, and what I strive for, and thus, the list below has come into existence.

1. If you don’t trust your team, you’ll never be able to trust your team.  That is; if you don’t give people enough freedom to go out and make mistakes and learn from them, and know that you still have their back, you’re going to have a lot of issues.  First, you don’t trust them, they won’t trust you, and honesty is important.  Second, once people realize they’re trusted and valued, they’ll be very self accountable.  Third, it’s nice to feel like an adult at work and not have every little action you make under scrutiny, and be trusted to do your job.

2. You should be able to be candid, open, honest, and even bitchy with your direct supervisor.  You need an outlet that can go slightly up the chain so that it can potentially make a difference (rather than bitching to your peers which just fosters negativity without effect).  These conversations should result in something positive, even if that positive is just releasing stress on a bad day and agreeing to revisit later.

3. You need to strike a balance between “damn the man” and “company yes man”.  While it’s bad form to talk too much smack about the people over you and not respect the folks in charge, you also need to not kiss their asses to your team.  There is no reason not to kiss your employees asses in front of your supervisor if they’re doing a great job though.

4.  You don’t get to control everything.  You get to control the important things.  You don’t get to affect every detail unless you want to be really really overworked and bad at your job as a manager.  Let the little things that don’t matter go.

5.  Teach your subordinates to think enough like you so you can trust them to make good decisions, but encourage the differences that foster creativity and bringing unique things to the table.  I don’t want a bunch of mini-me subordinates running around, but I do want them to know a good decision from a bad decision in the context of the project and the team.

6. It should never, ever, ever be a crime to disagree with someone, as long as it’s done respectfully and calmly.  No one’s word is the “word of god”.  Heck, I would think that the big guy up there would want someone to question him if he was about to do something stupid.  Sometimes the answer is “it is the way it is”, but the more information about the decision and the circumstances around it you can give to someone, the less they’ll feel as if you’re brushing them off and being asked to obey without question.

7.  Stressed out face should be reserved for appropriate emergencies.  If there is more than one of these a month, either you’re making way too big a deal out of things and need to re-prioritize, or you have broken processes that need to be fixed.

8.  The first answer to a resource problem shouldn’t be “work harder” or “work longer”.  There’s usually a more optimal solution than that (simplify design, ask for help, cut the unneeded features, find other options, etc).  However, sometimes it is just that, and in those situations, you should never, ever take for granted that those people are in the office working when they could be doing something else.  You should hope that if you DO need to be all in, it’s because the team has buy in that it’s necessary to make a superior production, and not simply because of poor planning, feature creep, or emergent crap that could have been found sooner.  Above all else, extended hours is a problem that should be resolved as quickly as possible.

9. Sometimes putting key people in a room with no agenda is good thing.  We do this once every two weeks for an hour for the last few years, and I’ve never once felt like it’s been a waste of time.

10. Productivity isn’t always as it seems.  If someone is surfing facebook or chatting in the breakroom or taking breaks, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re slacking.  Some people are built different – instead of a solid 8 hours of working, they’ll sprint for a few hours, and then need a break.  You can’t take away the break, or you don’t get the sprint.  As long as shit is getting done on time, and they’re not keeping other people from doing their work, it’s fine.  You’re not going to get more work out of these people by forcing a strict 8 hours of desk time sans facebook, as they’ll just work slower (aka – normal people speed).

11.  Not every employee needs the same thing from you.  I’m not saying that you should treat people unequally, but some people need explanations, some people need humor, some would rather keep it 100% professional.  Some people want attention, and some people want to see you as little as possible.  Some people like to be talked to face to face, some people like email, IM, etc.  The more flexible you can be with your communication, and the more you can adapt to your employees’ communication style rather than forcing yours on them, the more comfortable your team will be talking to you.

When it comes down to it, this is all really about respect.  If you respect your team’s expertise, respect their different workstyles, and respect their different viewpoints, and just overall treat your reports as human beings no matter how frustrated or how stressed you are, or how impending a deadline is.  I am not perfect, but I can at least say this list is something I strive to embody every day.

As a manager, I care about two things above all else.  #1 and #2 are both the most important – a high quality, fun product (I make games, fun is important), and a happy, thriving team.  Long term, you can’t really have one without the other.  Nurturing your team means awesome stuff means profit!

As we set out on our last 20 mile run this cycle, we were discussing the route.  I am usually kind of anal about constructing the perfect route (no will-sapping 3 mile uphill section during my low miles 12-15, not a lot of uneven road, traffic lights, etc), but by a stroke of unnatural whimsy, I just told Zliten I’d roll with it.

We plotted and schemed and all of a sudden “rolling with it” meant a runventure!  We grabbed a few things at the house around mile 6, and then headed south and ran all the way past downtown (about 11 miles from home).  After our run, we did a trip to Jack and Adams tri shop, a visit to Barton Springs, beers and dinner at Billy’s Brew and Que, a train trip, (not my) birthday beers at Blackstar Coop, and a final stop of the night at our neighborhood bar before we saw our house again.  It was a totally fun and epic day!

Top 10 things I learned from Saturday’s run:

1. Downtown Austin is not really as far away as I perceive it to be.  Pretty much any of my Tu/Th/S daily mileage totals would end up there or futher.

2. There is a shift about 5pm downtown.  Before that, you feel totally fine in running gear, after, you feel a wee bit out of place (though its Austin, so anything goes).  Maybe don’t end the run-ventures so late, hmmm?

3. Running all around the area where the music festival was going on was interested.  On the plus side, I heard  few bands playing and they had some key streets blocked off that helped us complete our run easier.  However, the crowds of hipsters smoking cigarettes that couldn’t be buggered to move out of the way when we needed to pass them was totes annoying.  This made me a little grumpy at the end, but it passed quick and didn’t effect my overall run-joyment.

4. Being carless is fun.  It’s a little intimidating to have to pack everything you need for the day in a camelback, and know that everything you carry is going to weigh you down for the whole run and journey back, but it was really cool to only rely on ourselves, our feet, and the train to get all the places we wanted to go and then home.

5.  Barton Springs Pool is free from November to March, and knocks out the need for both an ice bath and a place to shower all in one.  We were prepared to pay 3 bucks each, it was a nice surprise that it was free!

6.  Deodorant doubles as shaving cream in a pinch, and your legs smell super nice after.  Also, probably keep your legs shaved more often in case you end up on more run-ventures.  Compression socks only hide hair while they’re on… and unless you want to rock THAT look all day…

7. When you have ran 20 miles and you’re sitting down for your first meal of the day and it’s dinner, you literally can have ANYTHING you want.  Even if it’s a (half) pitcher of beer, a gigantic bowl of chips and queso, a monster turkey club, and a huge salad – that’s probably less than you burned on the run.

8.  Good friends don’t mind your sweaty capris at the bar.  Great friends bring you sock monkey scarves, gloves, and a hoodie when you ask them (the hoodie was upon request, the sock monkey attire was a nice surprise), because none of that fits in a camelback.  Great friends also obviously know your recovery fueling needs and bring a birthday carrot cake with two pecan pies baked into it.  Pie-cake!  While on the surface it was brought for the birthday boy, you just know that deep down, she wanted to make sure our glycogen stores were doing ok.

9.  No one wants to let you walk, or understands the use of public transit.  Everyone was mystified that we ran from up north to downtown, and then walked all over and took the train.  We caught a ride from Bar 1 to Bar 2, and no one understood why we were sad about it (Bar 2 was way closer to the house, and I was looking forward to the walk home from Bar 1).  We had to turn down about 5 different rides from Bar 2, and it was less than a mile away.  Silly people, unless it’s balls hot or cold, we like to walk, ok? 🙂

10.  Doing 7 extra miles of walking on top of 20 miles of running means your legs feel a lot looser the next day, but it doesn’t cure ALL ills.  These dogs are still sore and tired.

As per the run, besides a few low miles at the end dodging people (and being a little calorie deficient), I had a solid run that felt amazing until about mile 15-16, and I kept my pacing very consistent and didn’t fizzle at the end.  And, I beat my last 20 miler’s time by 7 minutes!

Taper?  I’m ready for it.  These legs are looking for some recovery and then are ready to actually run, not just complete, and maybe, possibly even RACE a marathon in 3 weeks from today.

A little late, but here we go…

Training:

When I wrote out the weeks, I had planned week 42 to be the highest mileage week, then a rest week, then another peak week, and then taper down.  Due to scheduling constraints, I had to switch around my weeks, and that put my first 20 mile run was on WEEK TWO of training. Terrifying!  But it worked out, and I killed that 20.

Week 42 was a high mileage week without a long run.  I did 3 double digit runs, and 2 were back to back.  I LOVED training this way.  I’m not a huge fan of the long run – I know I need to do them because of the mental aspect of not stopping for walk breaks at mile 15, 18, 20, etc is not something I’m practiced at.  I think I’ve made steps to conquer it (haven’t walked yet this cycle) but after falling apart a lot in triathlons this year, I won’t write it off just yet.  However, I feel like my recovery is much easier when I do an 11/11 back to back instead of a high double digit run (16+), and I get MOAR MILES.

However, at the end of Week 42, the top of my calves/bottom of my knee felt really tight, so I cut the easy 5 I had planned as my last run of the week and just biked 40 miles. It was a nice change to spend some significant time on evilbike, and while it was frustrating to skip a run, I know it was the best thing as that’s the ONLY training I missed.

Week 43 was stepback week.  We ran 3 short runs during the week at easy pace (or as easy as Zliten decided to let me run, he doesn’t quite get being in first gear for an entire run).  Then, we did a 15 mile “shorter” long run.  I don’t know why, but after a week of recovery, my legs felt worse somehow, at least at first.  Every possible little niggle made an appearance, my arches started cramping around mile 6 and every turn or uneven road was painful, and the normal tightness in my glutes/hamstrings set in WAY early.  However, as long as I avoided the crappy roads, and though by the end, I walked 5 steps to get around corners and then got going again, I had a pretty darn good run at a pretty darn good pace (for me).

Now, I’ve got a month until the race.  I’m starting to think goals.  At first, since I had no run confidence when I started this training block, my goal was to just run this with Zliten, and hopefully PR (with a 5:22 – it won’t be too hard to do).  However, I’ve had a KICK ASS month of running and I think it would be a disservice to not shoot for something better, since I kinda feel like THIS lately with my running.

I’ve retrained my legs how to have some get up and go instead of shuffling.  I’ve retrained my brain to hold tough when I get tired or sore.  Those walk breaks that plagued me all triathlon season?  GONE as soon as the temperature dropped to normal human levels.  Part of it is the better weather, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t start improving this much just due to that.  Kerrville weather was perfect, and my marathon last year was not bad either, but I still fell apart and walked in both, so I’ll give the training at least SOME credit.

And let’s talk paces.  I’m not running these at 12 or 13 minute miles either.  I ran the 20 mile run two weeks ago at 11:41 average pace.  I just ran my 15 mile run at 11:05 average pace.  Both of these runs were prescribed as easy, and while my legs were tired and sore after, the pace never felt like I was doing anything above gear 2 (gear 1 being the happy, easy, pink floyd, daydreamy run, gear 3 being the “comfortable hard” pace that is supposed to be really bad for training because then you can’t recover for your speedwork and doesn’t help you improve).  It really makes me wonder… should I shoot for marathon goal pace to be faster?  It makes sense if I’m running these paces easy in training, right?  I’m going to need to do some research because the last thing I want to do is go out too fast and end up kersplat at mile 20.

My only other complaint is my right (not hurt earlier this year) knee is a little tender after some runs, so I’ll continue to ice and monitor it.  I just hope it can get through this one last high mileage week, and then we’ll rest up.  Please and thank you?

By the numbers…

Week 42: Double Digit No Long Run

Monday: Run: 3×1600 Speedwork 4.5 mi 00:44 09:50 pace, Weights: Gym Weights 00:45
Tuesday: Run1: 2 Loops 6.5 mi 01:16 11:41 pace, Run2: Lunch Run 4.5 mi 00:53 11:52 pace
Wednesday: Bike: Lunch Spin 11.55 mi 00:30 23.1mph pace
Thursday: Run: Comme ci, comme ca 11 mi 02:12 12:00 pace
Friday: Run: Double Double Digits 11.5 mi 02:12 11:28 pace
Saturday: Bike: Trainer + Ugly Betty 40 mi 01:49 22.0mph pace
Sunday: off

Total: 38 miles, 7.5 hours running.  52 bike miles, 2.5 hours biking, 1 weights session.

Week 43: Recovery Week

Monday: off
Tuesday: Run: Easy 5 5 mi 00:59 11:48 pace
Wednesday: Run: Slow 5 in the Rain 5 mi 01:00 12:00 pace
Thursday: Run: Halloween Pre-Atonment Run 3 mi 00:35 11:39 pace
Friday: off
Saturday: Run: Easy/MGP Run? 15 mi 02:46 11:03 pace
Sunday: *enter bike here*

Total: 28 miles, 4.75 hours running + 30 mins biking (no weights)

Food/Scale

(macaroni grill is fun)

I don’t have all that much to say here.  I’m maintaining in the 175-176ish range.  I’m generally eating less calories than fitbit says I’m burning, but there are some days where I go over.  In general – I should be losing at least a lb a week but I’m not.

Current theories:

• By my clothing fit and the improbably imperfect body fat scale, I think some of it is muscle.
• My body is just still in major shock from 4 weeks of major run miles.
• I’m eating meat twice a day more often than I was before (but my body is really craving it lately).
• I haven’t been tracking food quality.  I said I was going to, but I lied.  If calories in + calories out isn’t the entire equation, then this could be it.  I’ve definitely had more refined carbs and sugar this month. Aka, too much of this, not enough good stuff (my halloween haul).

Either way, I just need to keep at it.  I’m over 10 lbs down from where I was in January, and I just need to not screw it up and keep fighting the good fight.  When I notice weeks like the last two where I’ve been indulging in heavier, higher calorie beer and sweets and not being careful about my carb sources, I just need to get back on it (and on it, I am getting).

I’ve also stopped weighing daily because the program I was using to track it broke, and I hate how judgey fitbit is about putting in a higher weight due to normal weekly fluctuations.  It’s working now, so I will start again.

By the numbers…

Week 42

Week 43

Weight – min: 174.8, max: 179.2 (bad food bloat, lost FOUR lbs the next day).

Next check in will include the last peak week (48 miles of running planned) and the first week of taper.  I’m ready for it!

Oh man, October was crazy!  Let’s get on with it…

1. Train smart.  Do your 5-6 runs per week and check the boxes.  Easy on the easy days.  Speedwork on the speedwork days.  Go into tempo days and focused long run days with a plan in mind and communicate that to Zliten ahead of time to not disrupt marital bliss.  If things start to fall apart, first drop back to easy, then drop mileage, then miss runs.  Missing runs = more bike, not buttsitting, unless the only option is buttsitting.

October was a great training month.  It was LOVELY not to race and know I don’t race for a month.  I missed a few miles either due to time constraints or body starting to show wear, but maintaining almost 40 miles two weeks in a row + a 32 and a 28… very happy.  October was my highest mileage month EVER at 123, and November isn’t going to be too shabby either.

2. No getting sucked into racing anything this month. Use the money and the time to plan for next year’s race schedule.  Keep adding to the list of ALL THE RACES and try to consider what my goals are before signing up for a bunch of races that I have to try and train around.

Check on the no racing, but I haven’t really had much time to work on next year’s race plan, except that I am really considering chasing some scary running goals early in the year, depending on how I feel about a month from now.

3. Eat what fitbit tells me to.  It’s actually pretty magical, fitbit tracks my steps/activity, and translates that into calories.  I set my weight loss goals to the “pretty hard” setting (-750 calories per day, losing 1.5 lbs per week), and it changes my food goals throughout the day depending on my activity.  It has more than once made me get off my ass so I can eat more.   So, that being said… the goal would be at this point to get back into the low 170s by the end of the month.  I’ll be more specific next month.

Check on generally eating what fitbit says to, but my weight doesn’t seem to be going down.  Low of 174.8 this month.

4.  Also track food quality as a secondary measurement.  While keeping calories in check is what makes me lose weight (and I will overeat whether you give me carrots or chocolate after running, I have talent), keeping that DQ score up will make me feel better.

I have not done well at this.  I have been skipping the apple for the fun size candy bar of the same calories.  I need to get back to this next month.

5.  Get the Halloween costume settled (almost there).  Sew the patch on the shirt.  Since you have to sew the patch on the shirt, also mend the items piling up on that table.

Halloween costume rocked, but I didn’t sew anything.  Hoping to fix that soon.

6. Probiotics and digestive enzymes for the rest of the month starting today.

Meh, about half the time.  I need to get back on at least the digestive enzymes (not sure that the probiotics are doing all that much for me).

7. Finish this book, start the next.

I suck at reading lately.  Next.

8. Stressing recovery.  Ice baths every week after 15+ miles.  Compression sox/sleeves the day before and after long runs if not during.  Stretching after weights sessions and after long run.  Shockies and foam rolling as necessary.

I have been rocking this.  If I can keep this up next month, I may get out of marathon training uninjured…

9.  Make progress on the story I’m supposed to be writing for our gaming session next month.   I’m going to run a game for the first time for people sometime soon and it’s scary!  I love telling stories for people in text, but I’m terrified (in a good way) of doing one interactively.

Nope.  Crazy life has been crazy.  Next.

10.  Write stuff on the blog that’s not a status report.  I’ve found lately that I’ve thought of nifty things to write about and by the time I get to do them, I squeeze them into these long posts and don’t give the thoughts the time the deserve.  I still feel like it’s important for me to catalogue my weeks of training and eating for posterity, but I also feel like maybe I should spend some more time refinding my writing voice.  I used to be a decent writer!

I did some of this, and I want to do more.  I’m liking doing the “status report” type posts two weeks at a time so I can write other stuff more often.  I hope to keep not sucking at this!

11.  Quarterly maintenance – nails, toes, and brows.  I’m getting scruffy and since I live in Texas, sandal season doesn’t end for another month or two.  On the upside, my nails are in lovely shape since I cut them all down to nubs for wetsuit ease a few weeks ago, so they’re mostly all the same size (minus the index… always the index).

Done!  My nails are already getting a little raggedy again, but that’s easy to fix.

12.  While I’m not confident I’ll actually settle on a theme for my blog this month (and who knows, maybe I’ll keep switching it around!), I want to update my pages, especially my RACE RESULTS page, I haven’t done that since tri season.

Total oops.

13. Make some sort of healthy pumpkin spice desert thing.  Tis the season.  If I make it at home I’ll be less tempted to eat the pumpkin everything out there in the world.

I made some pumpkin spice protein cookies and they were delicious!

Well, I didn’t do so great in October, but let’s see what I can do with November’s 30 days…

1. Keep up the awesome training momentum.  Hit the last high mileage week.  Taper well.  Recovery is key.

2. Eat the number of calories fitbit says to eat, and track diet quality.  Try to lay off the sweets and eat lots of nutritious foods.  If I can lose 1 lb per week, I can run this marathon close to 170, that would be nice.  Take my digestive enzymes.

3. Sew something.  Anything.

4. Finish the current book, start another.  This should be a done deal since I’m traveling.

5. Frame some of the art that’s sitting in the tube in the closet.

6. Go through my cold weather clothes and put away/give away the stuff I don’t like.  Hit up the thrift store and get some stuff I like better.

7. Writing: work on my savage worlds story, and write non-status report blog posts.

8. Get my hair trimmed/layers redid.  Cut Zliten’s hair, it’s a mess!

9. Swim at least once, I shouldn’t go two months without hitting the pool.

10.  Try to use up the food that’s already here instead of buying stuff.  My fridge and freezer are bursting with stuff and I keep going out and buying new stuff to cook.

11.  It’s almost vacation time!  Get together a list of stuff for Florida (restaurants, things to do, packing list, etc).

12.  Drink more water.  I’m not as good about this in the colder months, and if I forget about it too much, I get chapped lips.

13.  Between more work deadlines and family obligations, make sure to take enough time to relax and destress.  Don’t let shit get to ya, woman.

As thought about on the run… here are my top ten differences for Marathon Season vs Tri Season…

1. Less overall time spent training (8-10 hrs/week vs 10-12), but way more soreness.  Complete muscle exhaustion efficiency.

2. Different laundry.  Less laundry volume, but it’s WAY more stinky.  I only own 3 sports bras I can run in, so I’d like to say I wash them more often, but I just pick the least stinky/somewhat dry one to wear again later in the week.

3. I actually look forward to running!  It’s not so deathly hot, running more means I’m actually getting better at it, and my legs seem to be recovering faster the more I punish them.

4. No long trips to get to a lake or place to swim/bike.  I can do all the training stepping out my door.  I’m definitely expanding upon my routes from the house and finding less boring ways to get in double digit runs rather than 3-4+ loops around my immediate neighborhood.

5. Major runger.  Biking and swimming don’t really pique my appetite the way that running does.  I really, really have to watch it or I can eat back a 20 mile run plus some without much thought, especially if beer is involved.  Also, I’m way more into sweets when my run miles are up than other times of the year (though this may be a coincidence with marathon season = halloween time).

6. While I’m not that keen on running for hours without music, I’ve found I’m less attached to poppy, peppy music and just need something pleasant and entertaining for most runs.  Also, since I’m listening to 8-10 hours of music a week (instead of very occasionally during tri training as a treat), I need more than just the one playlist.

7. I get a few post-work runs (they’re rare, but very pleasant).  I love that the temps get cooler as the run goes on, and it’s much nicer to have the sun set while pounding out the last few miles rather than getting out in complete darkness.  It’s also nice being completely fueled from breakfast and lunch, and awake and warmed up from just being at work.  Getting some lunch running in again for reasons besides completely punishing myself for heat training is nice too.

8. I will run 1/6th of my run volume in the last 12 months in October, and November won’t be too shabby either.  5 months out of this year, my monthly run volume was under my average run volume for the WEEK since I started marathon training.  However, I haven’t dipped a toe in a pool in a month, and 2 hours on the bike last weekend felt HARD, so there is that.

9.  During tri season, you can at least pretend that you are doing things that other “normal” people consider fun.  “Hey, I went to the lake for a bike ride and swim” sounds like fun (if you casually forget to mention the swim was a mile and a half around the buoys and the bike ride was 50 miles).  “Hey, I ran for 4 hours” doesn’t sound like fun to anyone (even to me, really :D).

10.  Tri season means racing a lot more often is ok, a sprint or an olympic is a great weekend session.  Doesn’t work so well trying to wrap a 5k or 10k race into a training session (trying to run before the races is crazy since races start pretty early, trying to run after sucks since you just sprinted across the finish line… and now you need to run 4, 6, 10 more miles…).

While I’m partial to tri season, there are some awesome things about the temps getting cooler, wearing out my running shoes quicker, and forgetting my bike and goggles for a while.

Question of the day: Running, biking, or swimming – what do you love the most?