In Defense of the Devil

So I’m sure you’ve seen this new double down sandwich.  If you’ve been under a rock, it is two fried (or grilled) chicken breasts as the “bun”, with bacon, cheese, and some colonel’s sauce (how delightfully ambiguous!) inside.  Gluttons are praising it as the next coming of indulgence, health food bloggers are calling it an abomination of all things good and holy.  What’s my stance on it?

I’m ok with it’s existence.  I think the double down is just fine.

What, you say?  How can you, as a sane person who tries to do the right thing, who cares about your health and weight, who endeavours to prime your body for athletic pursuits… how can you not condemn this devil food?  Quite a few reasons actually.

You know it’s a splurge.  No human being can approach this foodstuff and at least not have an inkling that it’s not in their best interest to consume this.  However, as human beings, we sometimes are motivated by pleasure (and perhaps adventurous natures) and put things in our bodies that aren’t the greatest for us.

Perhaps though, I decide that I’m going to pass by that double down and eat something healthier.  I’m out on the road and gonna hit up something to go.  Oooh, maybe I’ll hit up a sandwich shop.  Get me a tuna sandwich on wheat.   Fish is good for me, right?  And wheat bread is healthier than white.

Oh.  844 calories – 33% more.  Slightly less saturated fat, but what’s 8.5 in comparison to 10?  Also, 1800+ sodium, pushing 80% of what you should have in a day.

Sorry Jimmy John’s.  I’m going to go to that Quiznos down the street.  And I think I’m going to switch it up and get a salad.  Let’s try a honey mustard chicken salad.  That sounds tasty!  Grilled chicken is good for me, greens and veggies are great, and mustard is pretty low cal, right?

Oops.  920 calories, over 40% more.  DOUBLE the saturated fat (yeah, 20 grams).  Slightly less sodum at 1700 but sheesh.  FOR A SALAD.

All this calorie counting is making my head spin.  I need to sit down.  At a restaurant.  Ah, look, Ruby Tuesdays!  I am going to order me an avocado turkey burger.  That sounds incredibly healthy.  Avacodo is good healthy fat, and turkey is very lean.  No fries, I know those are bad for me, just the burger.

1234 calories, holy crap!!!  I could eat 2 double downs and have some calories to spare.  With that – 81 grams of fat?  How do you make TURKEY into something with 81 grams of fat?  And to add insult to injury, it’s got almost 3000 grams of sodium (130% of your daily value).

Now, in comparison here’s the double down:

Calories: 590
Calories from fat: 280
Total fat: 31g
Saturated fat: 10g
Trans fat: 0g
Cholesterol: 190mg

Honestly?  If this is your thing, you can work it into an otherwise healthy day every now and again and come out the other side unscathed.  And the biggie for me?  It’s not presented as a health food in any way or a “seemingly healthy” or “normal” food.  It’s like deep fried oreos or cotton candy or the worm at the bottom of the tequila bottle – they have their place (as very very very occasional indulgences), and should be respected as such.  You know what you’re getting into here.

Not so much when you sit down to that salad.

So, if we really want to get past shock journalism and really actually do something about our obesity problem?  Leave the double down alone and go after all the assholes out there with a 1000+ calorie SALAD on their menu.

Will I eat it?  Nah.  KFC (along with most chain fast food) has been off my CAN EAT list for about 4.5 years now – it does nasty things to my tummy – but it doesn’t mean I’m not intrigued.  And might recreate this at home.  That is, if I can get someone to tell me what colonel sauce is…