Adjusted Reality

This was a good weekend.  For the first time in a while, I stayed mostly close to home, and while there was a little excess in the food, and one evening where a little too much whiskey disappeared, it felt like it recharged me.  I don’t feel so darned burned out.  It may only last a few hours into Monday morning, but it’s the first time in a while that I have not woken up with an “ugggghhh, not this again” attitude on a Monday.

Even though I hate the time change with everything in me, because it gets dark at like, 6pm now, and I’ll never see sunlight after work again for at least the next four months, it has been nice to get that extra hour of sleep.  My alarm clock which auto syncs the time actually changed last week, and since I didn’t know how to change it back, I just left it.  So I half shifted myself last week into the new schedule and slept in a little later.  Maybe that’s part of it – more sleep.  It’s not that I deprive myself, but a lot of 9 hour nights last week (last night was almost 10!!!) and something in me started like it had begun to heal.

Maybe it was also the taper.  While normally 17 miles in a week is pretty kick ass for me during non-half training season, it was a downright vacation last week.  This week is even better, with 3-ish today, 3 Wednesday, and 2 on Friday (if I even do this one – I added it to the program to keep my legs loose, we’ll see if I even feel I need it).  I also swam twice (even though the second time was short) and did weights once.  While I could have definitely done more hardcore crosstraining, I think with how easy the runs are coming, I’m not lacking in cardiovascular endurance right now.

I’m also taking a stand with this crappy eating I’ve been doing lately.  We’ve been going out a lot, I haven’t been tracking calories, and I’ve slooowly started going to brie and cracker snacks instead of carrot snacks.  I mean, I still adhere to a lot of the basic principles of healthy eating – grilled not fried, no mayo on the sandwich, salad instead of chips, etc etc.  However, it’s been a little too much volume for the quality, and a few not-so-good choices have slipped in there (hallo spicy cream sauce on my pasta last night making me feel craptastic).  No more.  This week (not even waiting til after the race, or a week after the race), we’re back to healthy, homecooked food for the vast majority of our lunches and dinners.  Even though SOME people can eat snack cakes and be fine, those of us pushing

I considered tracking this week, but I think I’m going to wait – the last thing I want to do is freak out at the calories I’m eating, eat less, and be weak for the race.  This week, the goal will be to focus on good, healthy choices in whatever quantities make me full, but not overfull.  Next week, I’ll begin tracking, but not set any sort of calorie goal per day.  The week of Thanksgiving (yeah, I know, great timing, right?) will be the first week where I aim to keep my calories at a certain level.  We’ll see how it goes.

Last week by the numbers:

Monday: ladder sprints (400m w/u, 400m @ 7.5, 400m recovery, 800m @ 7.2, 400m recovery, 1600m @ 6.8, 400m recovery, 800m @ 7.2, 400m recovery, 400m @ 7.5, 400m race pace, 400m cooldown)
Tuesday: off (I voted at least!)
Wednesday: 5 mile tempo run (47 mins)
Thursday: weights and a swim
Friday: off
Saturday: 8 mile run (1:18!  All paces this week under 10 min/mi! Woohoo!)
Sunday: short swim

And this last and final half training week:

Monday: 800m warmup, 4×400 @ 7.5 w/400 recovery in between, 800m cooldown
Tuesday: 30-45 min swim
Wednesday: 3 mile tempo run
Thursday: off
Friday: 2 mile run
Saturday: off
Sunday: RACE DAY BABY!!!

I’m also looking forward to supping on carbs the night before with Tricia from www.enduranceisntonlyphysical.com and some other bloggers.  Should be fun!

And on that note, I think that’s it.  No crazy nerves (though I am finally getting a little EXCITED, so that’s good), no overpowering inspirational and motivation speeches.   I’m just going to get out there, run the race I have in me that day, and see where I end up.  I have a goal, I have a strategy, but I also have the realization that this will almost assuredly not be my last half.  And the way to PR for me seems to just let go, be rested, have a good playlist to rock out to, and just get it done.

So get it done I shall.

Balance.  Yin and yang.  Up and down.  I’ve been very yiiiiiin for the last, oh, few months.  Let’s just call it the majority of 2010.  Work, races, training, social obligations, trips, oh my.  I can count the amount of weekend days when I’ve had nothing to do and am not completely wasted (dead tired after training, dead tired after races, dead tired after travel, dead tired after uh… training my liver… etc etc) this year on one hand pretty much.  I may be SLIGHTLY exaggerating, but still.  There are 8 weekends left before holiday break and I’m full up on all but one.  Birthday, race, race/party, thanksgiving, nothing, Phoenix, then BAM!  I’m on a 2 week vacay.

Speaking of Halloween (even though we weren’t), here is Cleo and King Tut:

At least training is winding down.  Earlier this week, I did my 4.5 miles of ladder sprints and ended feeling like – uh – already?  Today’s 5 mile tempo was a blink of the eye.  I can’t remember the last time a workout was less than an hour.  Also, having over 3 days (Friday morning to Monday night) off made the legs nice and rested.  I’ve never felt this rested at the beginning of a taper and it bodes well.  I’ve also never felt this calm this close to a race.  Maybe this is what happens when when you have over a dozen races under your belt.  Maybe this is what happens once you’ve already met a major goal for the year, and have low expectations.  Or just maybe, I know that I can do the distance and it’s just a coin toss on the PR front whether I’m having a good day or bad day.

My biggest challenge right now is just to stay healthy and rested.  This is one of my vulnerable times of year – Halloween to Thanksgiving is kind of a coin toss whether I get sick or not.  My body does not take kindly to the weather getting colder.  I’m feeling on the verge of something.  I just need to make sure I get lots of sleep, eat good food, take my vitamins, and treat my body well.  It’s a good time for a taper since reducing intensity of workouts from crazypants to sane usually helps your immune system.  Hopefully that will save me!

It’s crazy that I only have 4 more runs of training, and only ONE of those is over 4 miles (8 miler this weekend, 3.5 miles sprints, 3 mile tempo, and a 2 miler to keep my legs loose).  It’s even crazier that I’ve only done 11 training runs since the tri.  I do feel ready though.  I always have good 12 milers, and this was no exception.  Maybe this will be the time where I don’t have a huge disconnect between running 12 and running 13.1 and fall apart during the race.  There are a lot of maybes this race.  Odd that I’m not freaking out about it, I think it’s just a testament to my mental burnout more than anything.

Although, I’m realizing that I don’t need to put so much pressure on myself.  This is my third, and almost certainly not my last half marathon.  If I don’t hit a PR or my goals this time, it’s just more motivation for next time.  It’s a nice feeling.  And… after the tris, this is just running.  I don’t have to worry about so much.  No stressing on the lake conditions, the wave start with people kicking in your face, the transitions

I’m already looking forward to less cardio, more weight training, and just all in all doing something different.  But I’ve got a few weeks and 3 races to rock first.

By the numbers last week (check out those awesome improving paces!!!):

Monday: 4 x 1 mile sprints (8-8:30 pace) – 5.5 miles total, 53 mins
Tuesday: 30 mins weights (had to work late)
Wednesday: 7 mile tempo run (67 mins)
Thursday: bike 6 miles (22:30), swim 1200 yds (25 mins)
Friday: 12 mile run (2:03, so just over 10 min miles)
Saturday: off
Sunday: off

This week’s plan:

Monday: ladder sprints (400m w/u, 400m @ 7.5, 400m recovery, 800m @ 7.2, 400m recovery, 1600m @ 6.8, 400m recovery, 800m @ 7.2, 400m recovery, 400m @ 7.5, 400m race pace, 400m cooldown)
Tuesday: off (I voted at least!)
Wednesday: 5 mile tempo run (47 mins)
Thursday: weights and a swim
Friday: off
Saturday: 8 mile run
Sunday: bike ride

Next week will be full on taper, with a road trip up to San Antonio Saturday!!!  It still boggles my mind that I’m running on so little training, but I did complete a 12 miler, wash up, go to work, and barely felt wasted, so I guess I’ll be alright.

So, what do you think about the weather getting colder?  Hate it with a fiery passion like I do and are counting the days til Spring?  Or revel in the delight of snowflakes and coats and the chill in the air?  What times of year do you usually get sick?  Just wanna congrats me for finally getting a little lead out of my feet?  Hit me up. 🙂

I run my third half marathon in 2.5 weeks.  The first time, I had so many butterflies running around in my stomach.  The second time, I felt determined, strong, confident, and powerful.  This third time, I just feel tired.

My body is holding up fine, for the most part.  My brain is just fried.  The only physical issue I’m finding is that my normal socks all of a sudden became inadequate and I can only run in the 12 dollar a pair nike dri fit socks.  Which is fine – but I lost my only pair, so I had to do without until I got to the store, and ended up with blisters the size of quarters on my arches after my 11 mile run.  No wonder I slowed down at the end!  Anyhoo, I’ve rectified the sock thing and splurged on two more pairs, so I should be good.

The brain thing is more disturbing.  Going into that second half earlier this year, I may have been sick as a dog physically, to the point where I PROBABLY shouldn’t have ran, but I was mentally tough and that’s what carried me through.  I’m having the opposite problem now.  My body is fine.  I’m barely feeling the miles.  I just can’t get my ass in gear to do them at a pace that I want.  I’m only aiming for 10 minute miles this time.  I want to PR, and I want to run a good strong race, but I also have to recognize that this is my fourth major distance race in 10 months.  My last few long runs have been great starting out, but after the 10k mark I get mentally tired and start slipping.  First my pace creeps into the 10+ mins regularly, then I start seeing 11’s occasionally, then I have a hard time breaking OUT of the 11’s.  The last mile is always the fastest because I have tons of juice left, but I can’t quite make up my pace and end up with a 10:30+ pace.  No bueno.

I have hope though.  First of all, I have had some of my best competitions after crappy, crappy practices.  So maybe my dear ol’ bod is saving the mojo for the race.  Second, I had a GREAT run yesterday, first “great” run since before the tri.  I found 1 mile intervals to be the hardest last time, this time they were almost easy.  Where I was struggling to keep an 8 min/mi pace for a quarter mile, I had less trouble keeping an 8:30 for a mile.  I may just operate my race like that – push the pace for a mile, take a break.  I had one of my best run times/paces in a while – about a 46 minute 5 miler, even with 1 mile of that being at 12 min/mi pace.  And I felt like I still had juice at the end.  I may give that another try tomorrow.

Regardless, I feel healthy and though work is crazypants and life is crazypants, I’m keeping things going a-ok.  Sometimes, that means skipping cross training days if I’m at work ’til 9:30.  Sometimes that means a fast 10k at 9pm after getting out of work late.  Sometimes that means taking a half day Friday so I can get my long run out of the way that morning so I can Halloween party all weekend.  It’s about balance.

I am kind of over this whole mental fog thing though.  I am totally and completely still sticking with the story that I love my life and everything I’m doing is just a big pile of awesome, but that pile has just become a mountain.  I’m just not able to put 100% into anything lately.  Hopefully I can pull it together on race day because… it’s the last push.  Cross your fingers for me!

That being said, here is the workout stats from last week:

Monday: 6 x 800m sprints (6 miles, 60 mins)
Tuesday: 30 min swim (1 mile), 30 mins weights
Wednesday: off, worked until 9:30pm
Thursday: 6 mile tempo (after working til 8:30) – just under 10 min/mi pace
Friday: off
Saturday: 11 mile run @ about 10:30 min/mi pace
Sunday: off

This is the last serious bidness pants training week:

Monday: 4 x 1 mile sprints (8-8:30 pace) – 5.5 miles total, 53 mins
Tuesday: 30 mins weights (had to work late)
Wednesday: 7 mile tempo run
Thursday: bike? swim? some sort of x train
Friday: 12 mile run (aiming for 10 min/mi)
Saturday: off
Sunday: off

Yes, I am taking off a half day on Friday to do my long run before having a short day at work and get costumed up and party all weekend.  I think after all the work I’ve put in, I deserve it.

However, let’s not talk about food tracking or weight.  I actually just can’t bring myself to track my food or get on the scale.  I don’t think I’m doing horribly or anything, I just am not ready to face it.  My clothes seem to be fitting ok – and I’m eating my normal mostly healthy (with maybe a few not-so-healthy things occasionally), so I think I’ll worry about it when I’m ready.  Maybe that will be tomorrow.  Maybe after Thanksgiving.  Who knows.

My house was literally a disaster area before the maid came last week.  Laundry was in piles all over the floor in 3 different rooms (2 of them being the living room and kitchen).  My coffee table had plates and sauces and condiments and trash that had been there for weeks.  I’m not really wanting to brag about what a complete SLOB I am, I’m trying to illustrate a point.

This is how much I had been home.  I’m lucky if, since last month this time, I’ve gotten 1-2 hours at home per day before bed each weekday (some days I just ate dinner, watched TV for about 20 minutes and then crashed).  Weekends have either been work, out of town, family in town, or full of training/social engagements/etc.  I’m not sure how the Triathlon and our biggest milestone of the year AND a game conference I was to attend ended up being the same week, and before that was Vegas and after that was family visiting, but I guess when it rains, it pours.  We’ve now got Halloween, a birthday, my half marathon, the warrior dash, and all the thanksgiving craziness in the next month or so.

Even in the haze of exhaustion I realized something today.  I do a lot of shit (both personally and professionally).  I aim big.  I’m not happy going for the safe bet or what’s good enough.  And even though sometimes I want to invent a time machine and kick my past self square in the shins, it’s my life.  If I didn’t love it, I wouldn’t do it.  If I thrived in peace and tranquility, I’d surround myself with it.  I don’t.  I like a great day of nothing here and there (a movie marathon on the couch with some takeout is one of my occasional pleasures), but damned if I don’t get antsy if it’s more than one day.

I like doing shit.  A lot.  I like the act of planning shit.  I like the act of weighing the pros and cons of one event or gathering vs another or planning an itenerary.  I like trying to figure out the most elegant way to fit the most doing into my life.  I like the actual doing.  I like the new experiences and stretching my boundaries – I used to not – it scared me, but now I live for this.  I like being done and reflecting on having done shit.  I like having a reason to toast champagne on a Sunday afternoon.  Or basking in the afterglow of a great run or a milestone complete flopped on the couch thinking, “wheeee, I DID IT”.  I like posting the pictures, wearing the t-shirt, and bragging about it on my blog.  Rinse, recycle, and repeat.  If I have NOTHING coming up, I get depressed.

I’ll even go so far as to say I am at my best when I am overextended, stressed, pushed to the limit, exhausted and want to quit.  I may not feel it in that moment, but stretched thin, I am able to react quickly, with instinct, and trust my intuition.  Some decisions or activities are best left to a rested body and a clear head, but I have a tendency to overthink things.  Little things.  The blue shirt or the red shirt.  Soup or salad.  When there are 1000 different things to make calls on each day, you can’t get hung up on one.

You have to make the right decision at the time, and move on.  If it wasn’t ACTUALLY the right decision and bites you in the ass, you take a lesson from it, and move on.  When all you can do is put one foot in front of the other, as fast as you can, there is no time for thinking.  You rely on your training, your past experiences, the effort you’ve put into getting *to that point* right now, and your mental fortitude to keep one foot going in front of the other.  From back in my gymnastics or diving days – your head goes crazy while you stand still setting up for the trick or the dive, but once you set yourself in motion, your *head* turns off and your *body* turns on.  I mean, you have to.  No rational thinking person would do any of that.  You can’t think.  You just do shit.

I may at times wish for less hectic-ness in my life, but I have to remember there are always finish lines.  I can always choose not to do the next race.  The fact that I continue means that I recognize where I do my best work.  At a slow, even, comfortable pace – I do not excel.  I need fires lit in my path, barking dogs nashing their teeth at my back, a gnawing feeling at the pit of my stomach that I am in over my head, and a stopwatch furiously ticking away.  I need to be like this guy.  I need adrenaline.

This is where I truly live instead of just exist.  Welcome to my life.

Forgive me, I must be off.  Shit to do and all.

Holy schneike – how has it been a week since I posted?  A blink of the eye, perhaps.  I don’t even understand how it’s October, let alone two weeks until Halloween?  Yikes.  Someone has been a slacker in the worst way and will have to end up being something I put together from my closet if I don’t hurry up with it.

What I’m not really sad about is that it also means I have two weeks left of serious business training for the half, one week at about 70%, and then a super light taper week for the race.  I am almost regretting signing up.  Yes, it’s true that I am really and truly capitalizing on the endurance I built up for the triathlon, but I am also *tired*.   And it’s not even really physical… it’s totally mental.

It’s been a heck of a year.  Since February, it’s been non-stop crazy at work.  It has not let up.  There have been crazy weeks and SUPER crazy weeks.  That’s about it.  In ten months, I’ll have run 2 half marathons and 2 triathlons.  Not to mention my first duathlon, I PR’d a 5k, ran another one for fun, will have done 3 adventure races, and will finish up the year with a 5 miler on Thanksgiving.  Rarely ever do we have a weekend where we don’t have things to do on one or both days.  I have only taken 3.5 days off this year – half a sick day in February, and 3 days for traveling.  It’s been a heck of a year.  I am BEAT.

However, I know I’m only regretting it NOW on whiny days when I have to get up and run (poor baby, I know).  October is going to end with a BANG and then things should get a little quieter in November (work, life, and training) I’m hoping for things to go the opposite way they did earlier this year.  Y’know – awesome training, shite on race day.  All my runs since the tri have been ok to meh.  Maybe I can save it all for race day and really rock it there.

Let’s not even go into the food.  I spent the weekend showing family how awesome Austin is – which means BBQ, tex mex, alcohol, and deep dish pizza.  I did not eat like a complete idiot, but I did indulge more than normal.  Lots of heavier than normal meals, lots of spicy… I’m happy to be back to normal food consumption today.

I didn’t exactly hit the workout schedule I had laid out, but after considering, I think it was just too much.

Monday: 9 x 400m sprints (5.25 miles)
Tuesday: 30 min swim (1200 yds), 30 mins weights
Wednesday: 60 mins yoga
Thursday: 5 mile tempo (9:40 pace)
Friday: off (2 mile walk)
Saturday: 10 mile run (10:48 pace)
Sunday: off

This week, same schedule, upping the miles a little, and adding a bike ride.  I miss my happy little bike.

Monday: 6 x 800m sprints (6 miles, 60 mins)
Tuesday: 30 min swim (1200 yds), 30 mins weights
Wednesday: 60 mins yoga
Thursday: 6 mile tempo
Friday: 45 mile bike ride
Saturday: 11 mile run
Sunday: off

In other random non-half-training news, I am going to be in another magazine (well, same mag, different issue) with some folks on my team for work.  We took the pictures today, and through all the nitpicking I do of my training and weight and accomplishments and such – I looked at the 5 they picked and I didn’t hate any of them.  Life is good when you’re featured in a mag twice in a few months AND feel like you look good enough to enjoy it.  Even though my hair WAS a little poofier than normal today.  Glad I reconsidered the dress with slightly too much cleavage to feel appropriate for work.

Last Monday, we had a service show up and clean the house for us.  We spent all weekend picking up for them because our house was a disaster, and then they came and did the two bedrooms, bathrooms, kitchen, dusting, sweeping, and mopping.  I was going to wait until next year to start doing something like this, but honestly?  This is something now that I do not ever want to live without.  It’s been a week and our house is still SO CLEAN (because we are motivated to keep it clean because it’s already clean, odd how that works) and if I could just have someone come do this once a month?  I wish to never not have this.  It was SO AMAZING to be able to enjoy my clean house without being frazzled and frustrated at having to actually have done it!

One more random thought: sherbert.  How have I not seen this before?  1 whole cup is 140 calories.  I usually eat about half a cup.  It’s delicious!  I can see this sticking around as a nummy treat.

Ok, one more – time off.  I mentioned it earlier, but I have to get my days off scheduled before the end of the year (I have to take 8).  Going to take a day or 2 and go visit some friends in AZ probably, might take a day or 2 off after my half in November just to chillax at home, and while I could do the “every friday in Nov/Dec” thing, I think what my body and brain is calling for right now is a good long stretch in a row.  I could augment the holiday time off and give myself almost 3 weeks off in a row, but I dunno – I think I’d be bleh because the weather is never great around then and I’d get bored.  Yeah, again, I know, poor me.  But I do have to decide in the next week or 2.

I’m going to now play myself off – time for bed.  So, I ask – what’s your favorite low calorie treat?  Anyone have experience with maid service?  Any suggestions on what I should do with my vacay days?