Adjusted Reality

First of all, let me say this.  It’s not you.  It’s me.

I know, it’s a horrible line, but it’s just true in this case.  Now, don’t start crying.  Don’t look at me like that.  I wish it didn’t have to be like this.

We’re just growing apart.  When I first started here, I found myself lost.  Confused.  In need of a creative outlet and feeling small, unimportant, and wanting to find my voice.  We were like peas and carrots.  You helped me get back into writing something more than whining drivel (debatable but I’ll count it, heh).  You helped me meet some pretty killer people.  We’ve had some really deep conversations.

You are just really crowding me though.  There’s the hour or two writing posts, then the time reading blogs, then the time thinking about what to write… I’m not saying I don’t love it, it’s just…

It’s about that time in my life, that time of year, where I just can’t be that exclusive.  I’m resenting the commitment.  I just can’t devote that much time to you anymore.  I’m sorry.  Like I said, it’s nothing you did.  You’ve  been wonderful.  It’s me.  I’ve changed.  I want to embrace the fact that I get into work, and most days, don’t come up for air until evening.  I want to never eschew beautiful days to sit inside and write about my frustrations with weight loss.  I just can’t do that with you.  I know, you promised never to do it again.  I just can’t trust myself around you.

It’s not that I want to leave you.  No way, baby.  I just need some space.  I’ll be around, I’d miss you too much to leave forever, but I just need some time.  We can see each other occasionally, and continue the great conversations and deep thought, but for a while, I just can’t be tied down to 4-5 posts a week.

Hopefully in time, things will work themselves out.  But I just can’t promise that.  Only time will tell.

Can we get together and do our normal weekly update about weight loss and fitness pursuits tomorrow?  Probably, but I just can’t be sure.  Hopefully this time apart will really help us appreciate what we have here.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder, they say.

Stop looking at me like that.  I have to leave now.  I’ll be in touch.

No, it’s not another blog, I promise.

So, as part of my birthday celebration happy fun time, we signed up for the Urban Dare in Austin.  I’ve wanted to do it the last few years, but it’s pretty expensive.  This year, I said, fuck it, it’s my birthday.  I’m not going on vacation, I’m not staying in a hotel, I’m going to do SOMETHING fun, so this was it.

The weather was perfect as we rolled up to Mother Egans Pub at around 11:30.  We got in line, signed our waver, changed into our spiffy shirts, and waited around a few minutes for noon to get there.  Finally, we were told to go down the block to a field, and we had to play multiple choice trivia until we got it right.  We happened to be in the right spot even though we didn’t know the answer, and we got our clue sheet and were off.

And by off, I mean to the parking lot in the field furiously getting through the clue sheet using our phones to google all the clues and find the most efficient way around.  Where we spent the first 20-30 minutes.  Next time, we might spend a little less time prepping and just run and google at the same time.  Once we had all but one mapped out, we set out for the furthest north, with a quick stop on the way that was right up the street.

Clue #11 – Who dat – who dat – who dat gonna beat dem Saints? Nobody this year. Get your picture with a VW that has been transformed into a Saints helmet. (That would be the Shoal Creek Saloon, a place we’ve actually always wanted to visit – they are supposed to have GREAT food).

Then, on the way, we ran into a woman with a puppy, so we knocked this one out.  This lady was nice enough to stop but her dog really didn’t want to cooperate with crazy strangers wanting him to shake!

#5a – Get your picture shaking hands with a dog.

Clue #3 – DOUBLE JEOPARDY – First, get your picture in front of the store that rhymes with Roy Boy, and has the same amount of letters. Second – you much purchase 1 item and bring it back to the end of the race with your receipt. We bought a pretty little 20 cent marble.

We purchased our marble, got our pic snapped, and were on our way.  This was about 2 1/4 miles from the start.  Next, we hit the nearest clue, just down the street.

Clue #8 – He first visited Yosemite National Park in 1916 with his family, where his father gave him his first camera, a Kodac Brownie Box Camera.  He is world renown for his black and white photos of Yosemite and other major parks of the west.  Go to the park with his last name for your golfing challenge.  Fore! (Adams Park)

Here, we had to throw these two golf ball things around hurdles.  We both sucked pretty hard at it, but I sucked less, so after about 10 minutes I finished and we moved on.  We took a bit of a detour getting there so it was about 3/4 mile here.  Then we headed to campus to get the next picture.

Clue #10 – She said, “Do not call for black power or green power. Call for brain power.” Get your picture with her statue (Barbara Jordan). Campus was WAY, WAY crowded that day with lots of kids, it was a lot of dodging and weaving because they were all taking their sweet time.

We continued around campus and finally found some people willing to help us with 5b:

#5b – get a picture of someone NOT in the race doing a cartwheel.  Someone we had asked before about signing a waiver or suing us if they got hurt or some crap.  Seriously people?  Thought I left California, ya know, the land of palm trees and frivolous litigation?

By the time we left campus we were closing in on 4.5 miles.  We had a crossroads – head southeast and hit the furthest east stuff first and backtrack a little north later when we headed west, or head straight south and have to backtrack a bit the other way.  We decided to head east, so off we went.  However, we had just gotten the 411 on the clue we couldn’t figure it out before (yay for nice people) so we stopped here:

Clue #7 – get your picture with the spirit of learning. Yeah, this one was freaking HARD to find.  It was in front of some teacher’s union building or something.  Did NOT show up on google at ALL.

We actually went a little too far east after that, and had to backtrack, but soon we appeared here:

Clue #1 – 59 year old Brent L. found a stash of dynamite in a shed on his 5000 acre ranch. Concerned for his family’s safety but not his own, the rancher removed the dynamite from the shed, placed it in a field of knee high grass, backed away about forty yards, and fired a shotgun at it. The dynamite blew up and the shrapnel hit the rancher in the head. The man was air lifted to the hospital, where he passed away. They give annual awards for this type of feat. Get your picture in front of the Pub that goes by this award’s name. (I did not even have to google this one thank you very much.)  I believe we were probably about 6 1/2 miles here.

Next we headed on to the Austin Music Hall to take care of the next task.  Clue #6 was… Go to Killer Riffs for your bubble dare.  We had envisioned something like having to get in those big plastic bubbles or blow big bubbles with those life sized wands…nope.  One of us just had to cover a piece of gum in whipped cream, get it out without using our hands, and blow a bubble.  I did it because after more than 7 miles – hey – a little sugar sounded good.  Whip cream nommed, bubble blown, we headed onto the last leg.

Clue #2 – go to city hall and get your picture with the stinger.  Didn’t have any clue what this was before we got there, but it was EXTREMELY apparent once we approached it.  We found some people on the way to our next dare that said they were taking it down soon so we decided to run the next leg – probably about a quarter of a mile.
Clue #4 – Go to Woolridge square where you must perform 2 dares.  Well, we found Woolridge square, but it had been FRESHLY MANURED that day so it stunk like no other.  I felt really sorry for the volunteers assigned to that station all day.  The first thing we had to do was a wheelbarrow course – I volunteered to be the wheelbarrow, and was very glad for all the arm and core strength I’ve been working on lately, I didn’t even have to stop.  Then, we had to run around and find little markers with letters and numbers on them, and had to find the ones that corresponded to the letters in our word.  We got that done and headed on our way, breathing a sigh of relief…and actually fully breathing again because it didn’t literally smell like shit.

We noticed it was getting close to 4pm – which was 4 hours in.  We decided we wanted to finish before 4 hours so we decided to run the last legs.  We ran about another quarter of a mile and hit up the last stop:

Clue #9 – ROMAN MATH TIME: Get your picture with the orange and purple sculpture at XXXIV times XXIV Congress Street. (816)  This is my yaaaaaay we finished pose.  No time to celebrate though- we commenced with the running, about another quarter mile, and rolled up at Mother Egan’s again with a finish time of 3:59 and some change.  Hooray!

Then, there may have been some hard cider and chips with curry.

Total miles walked/ran: 8.62

Fastest speed: 7.3 mph

It was a lot of fun, I do believe we are going to do it again next year, try to run more of it together, and come up with some creative costumes like these gals, who won the contest.

Next up for races – 5k up in Georgetown (the little local 1 dollar entry fee one) next Saturday, and then Warrior Dash May 2.  Yay for 3 races in a row WITH Zliten!  Have you ever done an adventure race?

…’kay, not short like that toe, but whatever.

Life:

Every spring, it seems like things get crazy busy, and this is no exception.  Work has been for working very dedicatedly (yes, I made up this word).  I now have main things that take up most of my time, secondary things to do if I have time, and now tertiary things that are not a huge priority, but definitely help me be better informed and a better boss and decision maker for the game in general.  Ya know, fun stuff like actually playing the game.  I know, my life is sooooo hard.  While I’m not working more hours per se, each hour is action packed, and I’m a bit more mentally wasted when I get home – hence, less posts.

Plus – in Austin, you gotta make the most of every sunny temperate day by playing vigorously outside.  So, I’m out living, and when things calm down and heat up, I’ll write about it more.  😉

Workouts:

I’ve been lacking a bit of enthusiasm with workouts, but I need to remember that’s normal after a race.  Today, I do believe I am going to attempt to do hill repeats on the treadmill – which is also contributing to my lack of enthusiasm because I hate the hell out of hills.  I’m certainly not finding that I want to just lounge on the couch (well, any more than normal at least), but maybe 15 miles on every short week is a little aggressive.  Everyone needs some downtime.  I just need to make sure it’s peppered with some long and fast runs too so those muscles don’t completely atrophy.

Plan for this week:

Monday – hill repeats (1 mile warmup, 400m uphill/400m flat cycles, 1 mile cooldown) and legs @ gym

Tuesday – 30 mins arc trainer, arms and abs @ gym

Wednesday – 10k run

Thursday – DDR circuits w/full body strength (been a while, sounds fun)

Friday – all out 5k

Weekend – Birthday celebrations!

This should net me about 13 miles running, (with a practice 5k for next weekend), two cross training sessions, and two weights sessions.  Looks good to me.

Weight Loss/Food:

I had super salty chinese food yesterday (extremely low on calories but way high on salt) so I didn’t even bother with the scale this morning.  I’ll try tomorrow.  This week – simply put – I splurged a little.  It was my birthday.  I actually didn’t go crazy, but definitely wasn’t my normal version of healthy eating.  During this week proper, I plan to be an angel again, and then Friday/Saturday we have Zliten and friends birthday plans, and I will be reasonable, but reasonably reasonable, if ya know what I mean.

I was a little disappointed in how some of my clothing is fitting when I was attempting to get gussied up for going out on Saturday, so I definitely need to be vigilant and nip this extra 5-ish lbs in the bud sooner than later.  March is always tricky, but as long as I’m making some progress, I’m not worried about how slow it is.  Once we are over the birthday celebration part of the month, I’m gunnin’ for the low 150’s!!!

Ok, must run away and be productive now.  If I haven’t been by your blog lately, I apologize, and assure you that I miss you and wish I had 30 hours in the day.  So, I ask – what’s your birthday celebration theory?  Go all out and indulge, reasonably indulge, or it’s just another day to you?

The winter olympics?  I have to admit that I didn’t watch much.  Besides life being semi-sorta-completely crazypants lately, I just did not get into it.  First of all – I’m SO over winter.  Seeing winter sports reminds me of cold and snow and yuck, like it was outside.  I do like ice skating but I’m not a huge winter sports fan.  That being said – I definitely got interested in a winter olympics link that Cat sent me.

Yeah, it’s what you think.  Just a list of athletes and their stats.  But it definitely hit me how different the standards are for athletes and other celebs.  For example, Chemmy here, at 5’6″ and 154 lbs, would be slandered as a chunky chick if she were an actress or singer.  She’s just 1 lb shy of being in the overweight BMI category.  Yet, she is rocking the downhill skiing in 5 different events.  Yekaterina here, at 5’4″ and 154 lbs, is firmly in the overweight category.  She is actually technically more overweight than I am (*cough* once I lose the last 2.5 lbs and get back into my maintenance range *cough*).  Yet, she is a world class speedskater.

It’s really eye opening to see that I’m not really that far off.  From the height weight ratio at least… I don’t think I’ll be a world class athlete any time soon.  While I was able to pick out a few actresses and singers and such out of many many many, it’s really not out of the ordinary for athletes to hang out just at the top of normal or just into the overweight BMI category.  Right about where my body has decided to hang out.

So, I’m not saying that my body fat percentage is the same as theirs – but I’m always going to continue to work on my fitness and improving my diet to include more good stuff and less crap, but the gains now have become very very very small visually.  And that’s ok.  Especially if the number on the scale going down is no longer a factor.

…and that’s it.  Short and sweet today.   Do you have the makeup of an athlete?

I am a poster girl with no poster, fo sho.  Ok, so I guess it’s 32, and Baskin Robbins that has 31 flavors, but whatever.  You can see where I’m going with this.  Happy birthday to meeeee!

So 30 was scary as hell to approach.  I spent a lot of my 20’s fat.  I had convinced myself that 21 was about the best I would ever be, and it was all downhill from there.  Sure, I’m never going to make my debut on So You Think You Can Dance due to age requirements (and the fact that I’m about 15 years removed from doing any serious dancing), and I *might* have missed my ability to be America’s Next Top Model, but… what else am I limited to doing at 31?  I’m in the best shape of my life and busier than ever with good fun life stuff (notice the lack of posts lately).  I might not be completely done with weight loss, but I’m maintaining a healthy weight.

It definitely was a trying year in some aspects.  I had a lot of dues to pay at work, and things looked pretty grim for a while.  Financially, it was rough being a 1 income + unemployment household for half of it.  There was a lot of other stressors as well.  However, we are bouncing back nicely.  I’m coming into my own at work, good things are afoot.  We are now a 2-income family again and though it’s not what it was, but it’s getting there.  The iguana is healthy again.  Things are settling down.  I’m finding less days like this…

So let’s recap – some big things I did at 30:

–Got married.

-Ran 2 half marathons.

-Ran 4 other races – two 5ks, one 10k, and one 5 miler.

-Took 2 lovely vacations to Vegas, and visited New Orleans for the first time.  Much drinking ensued!

-Maintained 100+ lbs lost for an entire year.  I’ve stayed within about 10 lbs in my 30th year.

-Really learned to love being outside and active.  2 and a half hour run, bike ride, or hike?  Sounds like a great way to spend a sunny afternoon.

-Like, ate brains and stuff.

-Attempted to write a novel during NaNoWriMo.  Failed pretty horribly.  Trying to figure out WHAT is blocking me there but it is definitely not flowing.

–Worked through a lot of mental stuff.

-But realized that, hey, I’m pretty awesome.   Not as awesome as this guy, but still.

So what’s up for 31?

-Continue to work to achieve balance in my life.  That means making work more of a priority, but not enough that it eats my life like before.  That means fitting in marathon training, but sticking to a program that has me 3 time a week.  That means getting stuff done, but taking time for fun.  Also meaning having fun, but trying to not incapacitate myself the next day so much.  Spend as much time with my Zliten as possible.

-Run a marathon.  14 miles was tough.  I have to add 12 more.  This seems very daunting, but so did 13.1 last year.  And I’ve got 8 months to train.  I can do anything in 8 months, right?  After I do that, I want to think long and hard about what races I’ve enjoyed most and let that guide me in what to do next.  I don’t see myself becoming a marathon-ER, but I would love to do the distance at least once in my life.  But who knows?  Ultras next?  Qualifying for Boston?  The Olympics? …heh.  Most likely – triathalons or some sort of martial art.  But we shall see.

-Try to make the most of every beautiful weekend day possible.  Definitely continue the adventure races and outdoor fun when the weather is nice.  It’s funny, I used to be white as a ghost in San Diego (like, the  most beautiful weather ever) because I never went outside, and now it’s March 2nd and I already can’t help but have skin color cause I spend so much time outside.  Bikes and kayaks and canoes and windsurfing and scenic runs and hikes will not be able to run and hide from me once the weather gets nice again.

-Remove the 5 or so lbs I am over my maintenance range and hang there for a while.  Work on lowering fat and increasing muscle.  Really get comfortable here and see if I want to take the weight loss thing any further next year or if I can learn to be happy here.

-Three planned vacations – South Padre Island in early summer, Vegas in September with friends, and a cruise this winter with my parents.  No honeymoon in Europe just yet, probably late next spring/early fall.  Hey, we waited 2.5 years from getting engaged and 10 years to get married – we just don’t do things quickly!

-Try to figure out this writing thing.  I made the resolution to read and write more, but I just haven’t *done* it.  At all.  Like right now, Zliten is in bed reading and I just haven’t been able to do it.  I haven’t touched my novel.  I just can’t grasp in my head how to incorporate it in my life.  I’ll get there eventually.

-Do something with the house to improve it’s value.  Pick a big project like our drafty ass 1960’s windows or our white counter that stains on contact with a drop of crystal light.  For sure get our heater fixed/replaced.

…and I’m sure I’m missing something, but I’d like to be to bed while I’m still 30 tonight.  **grin**

So – what has been your favorite age so far?  How was your 31st year?  What do you want to accomplish by your next birthday?