Adjusted Reality

This vacation was different than usual: normally I go outside of cell range, and thus, I can’t share anything early.  This time, I had coverage the whole time, so if you follow me on twitter or fb, you got some sneak peaks!  That also provided a conundrum – how much to disconnect?  I finally had to just put my phone and tablet away in the Keys, for the most part, since I didn’t feel as relaxed as normal, but it was nice to be able to share some pics and thoughts!

Anyhoo, I digress.  Here’s the recap of the great FL trip of 2013!

Friday:

It was a nice visit with Zliten’s parents, and we said goodbye to them as they dropped us off at the airport.  That was a little weird (they were here on vacation and they dropped US off), and the security line was so long that we got done just as our flight was boarding.  We had banked on lunch at the airport, and I would have done bad things in hunger, but I survived on some homemade jerky and ritz crackers.

It’s weird, we always take the BEST pictures in airports as we’re leaving for vacation.  I guess it’s because we’re extra happy?

The flight was uneventful, and we landed in Orlando, got our “mighty steed” (what a SCAM, I was quoted 300-something and ended up paying 600-something for the car, but since we needed it we just ate it, but anyhoo…), and drove the 45 minutes to Cocoa Beach.  It was gorgeous and green and lovely and warm and… totally flat.  No hills.  Great place for a marathon!

We hit up the first local looking place we could find, which happened to be the Sunset Cafe, and got sat facing the water and sunset.  Yay!  I had been craving a burger, so I got that, and because it was the first time I had eaten all day, we also got potato skins and a big beer.  I usually don’t indulge the week of the marathon but it was absolutely 100% necessary.  After we had dinner, we checked into the hotel and ended up on the first floor.  Of course, when we don’t have to deal with a bike and all the tri gear, we get the first floor room (but it was awesome and convenient, so I won’t knock it!).

What was also convenient was there was a grocery store right next to the hotel, so we loaded up on groceries.  I found the BEST chips, but I totally can’t remember what they are – they had flax seeds and brown rice and sea salt and it’s probably a good thing because I ate 2 bags!  We snacked on chips and hummus and veggies and made a salad and relaxed and passed out pretty early.

Saturday:

I slept TERRIBLY.  The beds didn’t seem that bad, but they were a little lumpy and I think it was a little bit nerves, and I tossed and turned a lot.  I woke up at 8 feeling bleh so I went back to bed for an hour and slept AWESOME so I felt better.  Gotta get my good “day before the day before” sleep.  We popped over to the gym and got a quick shakeout run on the ‘mill – 1.5 miles (.5 miles warmup, .5 at m-pace, .5 cooldown) and my ankle started feeling a little wonky after but I tried to ignore.

Once we got out of the car at packet pickup, my ankle started feeling worse, and thus my mental downward spiral that day.  We didn’t spend much time at the expo, but bought some biofreeze and an ornament.  I was going to splurge on a shirt but nothing really caught my eye as worth the money, so just the race shirt it was.  We went to a few stores to find a charger for Zliten, and I was, like, shooting mental daggers at him.  OMG, I have a broken ankle, I have to run a marathon tomorrow, and you want me to trek around to stores finding a stupid charger? *drama*

We went to an awesome place for lunch called the Discovery Beach Cafe, I ended up there because of the awesome yelp reviews.  When we walked in, it was totally dead and looked like a casino coffee shop.  I figured yelp had done me wrong, but they did not.  I had an amazing club sandwich and fries (only thing was – surprise – they but hardboiled egg on it… great for some, but not this egg hater… who puts egg on a club?) and had great service.

Then, we went to see Catching Fire (Hunger Games 2).  I really, really enjoyed it and it ended the same way I ended book 2 – MORE NOAW PLEASE!  It was a nice way to spend an afternoon off our feet.

We came back to the hotel, hit the hot tub, laid our stuff out, ate mac and cheese, and I convinced myself to conk out early.  By then, I was limping pretty bad and I figured the best way to have a shot at the marathon was to get as much healing sleep as possible.

Sunday:

I’ll refer you to here on the marathon itself, but after, we got back to the hotel and I knew we’d feel much better if we continued to move a bit, so we walked down to the pier a few blocks away, and I got a margarita, a salad, and fried shrimp and fries at the Atlantic Ocean Grill.  NOTE: I’m pretty sure Floridians eat the same type of fries at every meal, the thick cut seasoned fries, if I am to believe what I am served by restaurants.  We walked out to the end of the pier and had a beer out there at the Tiki Bar, but it was cloudy and windy and cool, so we walked back down and found another bar (Oh Shucks).

This one had a view of the beach and a very nice bartender, and corona light on tap (my favorite crappy beer), so we spent the afternoon there.  We met a very nice couple from 2 hours south (Port Lucie, if I remember correctly) who we started talking to when they sat next to us.  She had run the marathon and talked about her work in Haiti.  Always fun meeting random runners!

After sunset, we headed back to the hotel, hit the grocery store for more beer and probably one of the BEST turkey sandwiches I’ve ever had in my life (and I am a turkey sammich connoisseur, so that’s saying a lot). I ate the whole footlong, because, marathon, and went to sleep.

Monday:

I slept kinda fitfully again because I was sore but I was getting used to it.  Oh well, only one more night on this bed!  Oddly enough, my ankle was just fine, but my right knee was complaining.  Oh well.  We got up at 9, hit up the hotel breakfast (froot loops, apples, english muffin with cream cheese and bacon today), and then headed out to Kennedy Space Center.  We were lucky to go on a Monday during off season that was cloudy and cool, so it was so dead!  Loved it!

Zliten is the space nut in the family, so it was cool to see him go all googly eyed at all the rockets.  I went googly eyed myself quite a few times because space stuff is awesome!

We started with lunch.  NASA makes awesome salads!

Then, we took a guided tour of the rocket garden.  The tour guide was great and had been working with NASA for something like 30 years, so he had lots of stories.

We also took the bus tour (my marathon legs appreciated sitting) and saw cool things like the roads the crawlers used, some launch sites, and what I didn’t expect, a lot of cool wildlife!  I didn’t know that a whole lot of their land is a wildlife preserve.  We saw gators, a manatee, and a bald eagle or three from the bus window (sadly, the pictures didn’t turn out).  Also, there is a building (fittingly, it’s green), that makes all of it’s own power.  If only we could have this everywhere!

The tour dropped us off right by the Atlantis exhibit, so we waited in line for just a bit and then got to check out some movies.  Then, they shuffled us into another room, which had cool screen that surrounded you, and played another sweet movie on Atlantis.  Then, as the movie ended, the screen went translucent, and raised on the actual shuttle Atlantis RIGHT THERE!  It was breathtaking!  Great presentation!

We spent the next hour or so noodling around that exhibit, and Zliten found a very convenient restroom.

After, we hit up the rocket garden for a few more pictures.  The size of these things are just mind boggling.

Then hit the early space museum on the way out (though it was a quick visit, not as long as we would have liked), and then it was 4:45, they closed at 5, and there was supposed to be a LAUNCH that evening.

We booked it back to the hotel, hurried out to the beach facing the launch site, and got settled just as the sun was going down.  Then, Zliten checked the website.  Delayed until the next day.  Booo!

At that point, all I wanted out of life was veggies, and all my marathon inflammation agreed, so we passed up some other cool local choices for Ruby Tuesday, because I knew they had a salad bar.  It was kind of nice, anyway – I’ve never been to one, even though I know they’re a chain all over, so it was a new experience.  I ate two heaping plates of salad, and ordered the seafood trio (crab cake, shrimp, lobster tail) and broccoli and ate it all.  Marathon metabolism totally still in effect.

We had planned on maybe having a night out on the town that evening, but we were both not really into it, so instead of dresses and going out, we hit the hot tub and pajamafied ourselves and read.  Boring, maybe, but it was what was needed.  I crashed hard when I did, and it was very, very early.

Tuesday:

Twelve mother fucking hours of largely uninterrupted sleep.  Booyah.  I felt like a new person.  Much less sore, my knee was still a little cranky, but overall, I didn’t feel like I was 70 years old anymore.

We hit up the breakfast one more time just as it was closing, and I had my typical english muffin and cream cheese, this time with sausage patties, and of course some cinnamon toast crunch.  Crappy cereal and breakfast carbs, I love you, but only on vacations.

We got checked out and on the road by about 10:30 for our drive to Key Largo.  It was largely uneventful, but I remember thinking that the highest hills in Florida are the garbage dumps (they’re right off the highway and yeah, kinda smelly).  Also, we cheered everytime we hit a toll, because we had been talked into purchasing the prepaid toll tag.  Even if we didn’t actually rack up 50$ in tolls, it was a win, because we got the grumpy of paying for tolls over with in the first 30 mins of vacation.

We ended up stopping in Boca Raton for lunch, at Dominic’s Italian Restaurant.  We almost left town because we couldn’t find anywhere to eat, and we were turning around to get back on the highway and found this place, and I’m glad we did.  Zliten got the lunch tortellini, which was a HUGE plate of cheese tortellini with meat sauce.  I’m scared to see what the dinner plate size was – this fed two people, easy.  Even with marathon metabolism, he ended up taking about 1/3 with us.  I had pasta fagoli soup, another salad (my body was still craving the veggies), and a slice of spinach pizza.  All of these things were wonderful, but the superstar of the day was the garlic rolls they brought us.  They made me briefly decide I was going to just live in Boca, and get fat on them, and live a happy life.

However, we had a Condo in Key Largo to get to, and we were over halfway, so back in the car we went.  We got excited to get to the end of mainland Florida and thought it would be epic to “drive over water”.  Turns out, there’s still a lot of land between the mainland and Key Largo.  It was cool, but I think to get that picture of just road and sea I was thinking of, we’d have to go further down the keys, maybe.

Either way, we rolled into town, drove down “the road”, found the Kawama Yacht Club, and settled into our condo for the day.

Just kidding!  We pretty much threw our stuff on the ground, found our swim suits, and headed out to the beach.

…and, this seems like a good time to take a break.  Part 2 coming shortly!

Paul Fournel’s writing is now on my “must read” list.  Just one quote, hell, one concept I found in random googling really caught me this fall.

I want to go searching for the man with the hammer.

I’ve spent years dialing back my run speed, safely running slowly to increase distance, to increase stamina, to complete half ironmans and marathons, to stay in zone 2 or below, and shockingly enough, my legs adapted.  My pace slowed.  I was able to go further, but even on shorter runs, my pace and turnover became laughable.

This marathon cycle, I realized that the other component of “lots of easy miles” has to be “a little speedwork”.  Just that one day of making my legs move 5k speed or faster for a short amount of time really helped me figure out that I’m not a terrible runner, I’ve just not been training properly to give my legs the speed to go fast.

So, with this awesome base under me for the marathon, now that my legs feel recovered, I am prepared to meet the man with the hammer.

So, a few years ago (hi there, 2010!), I had I set a big scary goal of a sub-2 half marathon.  I trained really, really well and mostly hit my paces spot on, but then I got stupidly sick the week of the race.  I probably shouldn’t have run, but I shoved down some behind-the-counter mucinex and got through the race in 2:19, which was about what one could expect on a hilly course, when I was taking cough drops like shot blocks.

I gave the 13.1 distance a-go one more time in the fall of 2011, banking on Olympic Tri endurance + 3 weeks of specific training, and got myself a nice shiny 2:08 PR.

I haven’t race-raced a half since.  I’ve run the distance a lot, but it’s either been a training run, off the bike, pacing someone else, just as a fun run, or sometimes, just because it’s Thursday.  I do believe it’s time to change that, if only to have some more recent data for calculations so McMillian doesn’t tell me I should be running a marathon in over 5 hours because my best half in the last 3 years, which was part of a 20 mile run, was 2:25.  Hell, my half marathon split at the marathon was around 2:20 (and that was running pretty comfortably).

So, while I didn’t think I was ready to run as fast as I did during this cycle to chase a 4:40 marathon, I am CERTAIN I’m not ready to train to run as fast as I need to go to sub-2.

But y’know what?  I’m not sure how fast I’m ready to run.  I surprised myself with a 1 hour 6 mile run on Saturday just because I felt good and I wasn’t completely gassed at the end.  I don’t know where my limits lie unless I go out to meet the man with the hammer.  So I’m going to spend a short ~4 week cycle doing some stupidly fast (for me) run training, and then toe the line at 3M Half Marathon to see if I can outrun that man with the hammer.

I’ve signed up today and I’m not wasting a 100$ late entry fee on prancing comfortably to the finish.  I don’t plan on trying to run safe, I want to run for at the very least, a PR (2:08:07).  I want to either have photos of the worst pain face I’ve ever made in my life at the finish, or be walking it in because I left it all at mile 10.  I want to go out fast at the pace I need to hit, and then continue running that pace until I cross the line.

A goal – 1:59:59.

B goal – PR (sub-2:08:08)

C goal – to have given everything I have at finish

9:09 is a terrifyingly fast pace for my brain for 13.1 miles, but I’m not sure if it is above and beyond the capacity of my legs and lungs.  That’s what this training cycle will tell – how fast the man with the hammer runs, and if I can beat him to the finish line.

Better late than never!

1. Keep up the awesome training momentum.  Hit the last high mileage week.  Taper well.  Recovery is key.

I trained really well.  I tapered well.  I didn’t even really hit my normal taper madness until 2 days before.  Success!

2. Eat the number of calories fitbit says to eat, and track diet quality.  Try to lay off the sweets and eat lots of nutritious foods.  If I can lose 1 lb per week, I can run this marathon close to 170, that would be nice.  Take my digestive enzymes.

Marathon training is never time to lose weight.  I just need to accept.  Also, a week of family cooking for us that was not my normal healthy did not help this initiative, nor thanksgiving or vacation indulgences, but that’s ok.  I didn’t gain weight, I didn’t lose weight.  I’ll call that a win for the circumstances.

3. Sew something.  Anything.

OMG, YES!  I mended a bunch of things, plus made a remote holder for the bedroom.  I feel a LOT more comfortable with the sewing machine after that session.

4. Finish the current book, start another.  This should be a done deal since I’m traveling.

I’ll cheat because I read it technically in December, but I finished that book and another.  I need to start the next series now!

5. Frame some of the art that’s sitting in the tube in the closet.

Hell yeah!  We got about 1/3 of it done and even hung.

6. Go through my cold weather clothes and put away/give away the stuff I don’t like.  Hit up the thrift store and get some stuff I like better.

Done and done.  Sadly, I have more clothes than hangers now, but I’m happywith my winter wardrobe!

7. Writing: work on my savage worlds story, and write non-status report blog posts.

I wrote one or two blogs that weren’t status reports, but I did ZERO work on my story.  Boo.

8. Get my hair trimmed/layers redid.  Cut Zliten’s hair, it’s a mess!

Fail.  I actually did decide intentionally not to do my hair because it’s now long enough that I have convinced myself I like it long, which I will maintain until about Feb/March to where I get kinda grumpy when I’m getting ready and can’t figure out why, and then I realize I’m over my hair, which should have been apparent because it’s been tied back for the greater part of the last few months.

Zliten’s now has grown out to be interesting as well, though it does need a clean up even if we don’t decide to keep it long.

9. Swim at least once, I shouldn’t go two months without hitting the pool.

Ermmmm, I swam on vacation (in December).  I haven’t done actual laps yet.  Maybe this month.

10.  Try to use up the food that’s already here instead of buying stuff.  My fridge and freezer are bursting with stuff and I keep going out and buying new stuff to cook.

Sort of.  The fridge and freezer have been cleaned out and are pissing me off way less.  This should happen more often.

11.  It’s almost vacation time!  Get together a list of stuff for Florida (restaurants, things to do, packing list, etc).

Yeah.  Not a problem there. 🙂

12.  Drink more water.  I’m not as good about this in the colder months, and if I forget about it too much, I get chapped lips.

Ehhhh, sort of.  My chapped lips went away but I’m not sure that I really did all that well with this.

13.  Between more work deadlines and family obligations, make sure to take enough time to relax and destress.  Don’t let shit get to ya, woman.

Well, I destroyed a wall because I got stressed and hormonal.  However, I felt pretty freaking calm the day after and learned how to fix a wall, so… maybe a split between a fail and a win there? 🙂

December is almost half over, but I’ve kept this one up all year, so let’s roll with it.

1.  It’s the holidays, so this is not going to be perfect, but most of the time, let’s stay away from sugar, refined carbs, fried food, and other junk.  I’d like to end this month no heavier than 175.

2. Take enough rest as needed and then train speeeeeeed at lower volume, with some bike and swimming mixed in.

3.  Return to a bit of weight training by the end of the month.  It’s time.

4.   Sign up for the next race or two.  Work on the race plan for 2014.

5   Finish up Christmas presents!  I’m close, but have a little bit of work left.

6.  Start my next book series.  Going from superheros in space to elves and orcs.

7.  Write my Savage Worlds story and get out my backlist of blog posts (this being one of them).

8.  Donate some stuff + a gift card to the Austin Children’s Shelter drive at work.

9.  Go for our annual Christmas Lights run/walk around the hood.

10.   Do a really, really long bike over Holiday break.

11.   Have a good steak.  I’m really craving one of those…

12.  Cuddle more with my husband.  His idea, but I like it.  It’s cold outside, cuddling more is good.

13.  Hang out with friends this month (since the training load is light) and play lots of games.

I’m not sure I’ll continue this for 2014, but it’s been fun!  This month should be pretty easy since a lot of them are fun stuff. 🙂

What’s you December goal?

I’m sure I haven’t mentioned this at all on the blog, but I’ve been really overthinking this marathon, and the only reason is because my training cycle has gone SO WELL that I feel ready to race it.  And now that I’m down to just some quick runs to keep the stick sharpened, it’s all brain, all the time, so indulge my taper ramblings.

Feeling so prepared and hitting my paces in training feels so 2010, because all my recent distance ventures have been pretty much this m.o. lately:

1. Show up in the best condition I can.

2. Start the race.

3. Keep going at the fastest reasonable pace I can before have to stop/walk/bonk/etc.

Oddly enough, my training has been:

1. Get on bike/in lake/in pool/in shoes.

2. Start going

3. Stop when either miles have been completed or I am near death.

There may have been some halfhearted attempts at going slower, going faster, staying under a certain heart rate, but tri season really didn’t have much pace specificity or speedwork or actual programs besides go and stop.

Each of the 3 70.3s and the last marathon was about SURVIVAL, not racing.  Kerrville this year was CLOSER to racing, but still not quite.  I didn’t give up, but I wasn’t racing that run, I was trotting and trying not to die.  Pretty much from mile 3.  That was all I had.

I can’t believe that was only 8 weeks ago.  In just two months, I’ve gone from run-fearing to run-confident.  My 20 mile easy run was a whole minute/mile faster than my half ironman pace. 10 mile runs were a really long run two months ago, and now 10+ miles in a day is no biggie for a weekday.  My last taper run, two days ago, which was 10 miles exactly, with 5 at m pace, was like – are we really done?  Can I run more?

I also incorporated real speedwork back into my plan.  Once a week, I did a straight speedwork session (400s, 800s, mile repeats, fast miles), and once a week, I did tempo miles.  This was less successful at holding a certain pace than dipping my toe in the water to see what a good pace should be, but it was nice to shift in the middle of a run to “faster”.  This really made all the difference in getting my turnover from shuffle to… well… less shuffle.

I only wish I could have had even two weeks at this type of run mileage at ANY point during tri season, and I’m taking this into account for next year, but right now I’m just focused on the conundrum…

I’m totally ready to PR the shit out of this marathon by a LOT, and I don’t want to screw it up.

The problem with being a triathlete this year is I haven’t race-raced a lot of distances in 2 years, so, while I’ve run 13.1 a TON, I haven’t raced a decent course uninjured in decent conditions in a while so I don’t have a good 13.1 predictor time.  I’m painfully aware I need to change this, but it makes it very hard to know what to expect m-day.

My goal, which came from the scientific method of having a bunch of beers, talking running with a friend, and blurting it out randomly, is 4:40.  This would be a PR of 42 minutes, but that’s neither here nor there because I was just happy to cross that line upright and grinning like an idiot last November in a race I really wasn’t ready to do anything but SURVIVE.

Then I went to McMillian and did some calculations…

My 10 mile race earlier this year (I am WAY fitter than that right now) clocks my marathon in at 4:37.

My “miracle mile” (7:50) from last week puts me at 4:24.

My half marathon PR (in which I don’t think I’m too far from right now) puts me at 4:31.  My last 5k I raced also puts me here.

4:40 is a 10:41 min/mi pace.  Now, for most of you marathoning crazies out there, this probably isn’t even your recovery pace, you probably walk faster than this.  But seeing 10-anything + 26.2 miles of running scares the crap out of me.

Can I handle it?  Well, 8 weeks ago I would have laughed in your face.  Now, I have a 15 mile easy run done that’s 19 sec/mile slower than race pace.  I did my last easy 20 miler 45 sec/mile slower than race pace.  Neither of these runs had me aiming for a specific pace, just running what was comfortable while chatting or grumbling or whining at Zliten.  While the pace itself seems bonkers to me mentally, it’s not outside the realm of reality physically.

I have a few ideas at strategy for Sunday:

1. Find the 4:40 pace bunny and just hang on for the ride.  I am really, really good at following people mindlessly on the run.  When it gets tough, I can just turn up the music and focus on shoes in front of me and put one foot in front of the other and get through it.

2.  Find whatever the next slowest pace bunny (4:45? 4:50?) is and follow them, trying to forge on ahead at some point (15, 18?) and catch the 4:40’ers if I feel ok.  This helps me start out a little slower without having to really watch my watch.

3.  Run my own damn race.  Start slower, and try to get progressively faster via garmin pace.  In other words, be a watch nazi and own my own fate with splits.

4. Run my own damn race, and set up my garmin so I can’t even see pace, just go on perceived effort.  I’ll have some cues by what pace groups are around me, but can’t get all persnickety that mile 13 was 11:05, and all scared that mile 16 was 10:18 and its too fast.

I’ve used a combination of these strategies in long runs.  When Zliten decides to zoom off near the end of runs (when I know I’ve got enough in the tank to get through), I’ll latch on and reel him in.  This has gotten me through many races too (just follow the green girl, don’t let B get too far ahead, etc).  However, I do get uppity when I get completely left in the dust and can’t catch up and might bonk trying.  Do I want that negative feeling of “being left behind” if I can’t keep pace?  Will I try to race outside my means just to catch someone?

I can watch-nazi with the best of them, and sometimes it helps me finish the race with my B goals intact even if the A ones are out of reach.  At Kerrville, my run could have really gone south if I wasn’t constantly calculating what would get me in under 7.  However, fast paces can intimidate me (10:30 feels great but I better slow down because that’s fast), and slow paces can piss me off (I’m going 11:30 and its hard, I suck at running and life).  Sometimes it’s best not to know.

I can run pretty damn well by feel at my easy pace, but if I have one regret this training cycle, and one thing I’ve done last week and will continue to do this week, it’s that I haven’t done enough running right at my goal pace to feel it’s dialed in.  It’s getting better, but it’s still a little awkward.  I’m not sure if the few runs I have left will fix that.  I’m worried that if I completely go by feels, I’ll end up at the end, having run 26.2 miles at my easy pace, and would have had more to give.

I’ve been negative splitting runs like a champ this cycle, but I’m not sure how much I can give the last half marathon, since that last 6 miles is a question mark since we don’t train it.  I’m not sure how well I’ll be able to judge what’s left in the tank at those later stages since I don’t have a bunch of experience on how my body feels at mile 21.

I’ll need to make these decisions on race day, these are my checkpoints:

Before Mile 1: Do I start with a pace bunny or not?  If not, what pace do I start at?  Do I run by watch or feels?

Mile 6: Am I eating and drinking consistently? If not, get on that shit.

Mile 10: Just past this is usually low point #1 (just a mild to moderate one).  How am I feeling?  What adjustments need to be made to the plan? More food? More drink?

Mile 13-16: Middle miles, usually low point #2 somewhere in here possibly (this one is usually pretty major).  What do I have left for the second half? Do I speed up or just try and hang on to current pace?  Have I been eating consistently?

Mile 20: What do I have left to give?  Am I just trying to hang on, or can I kick it up one more gear?  What is the most reasonable time goal for me right now to aim for to keep me motivated (mile 20 math is fun!)?  Can I shove just a little more nutrition down the hatch without killing my tummy?

Mile 23: 5k to go.  Rock this shit out.  If you haven’t hit the wall by now and are feeling good, just go for it and get ‘er done!

And let me leave the taper crazy ramble on a positive note…

I’m only worrying here because I have had a totally awesome training cycle.  I’ve got the run love back in a major way.  I feel like I’m in some of the best running shape of my life right now, which is a huge 180 from, like, all of 2013, where I wondered if I could ever run far or fast or love running again.

I’ll go out there and attack, but I also want to have fun.  I talked to spectators and high fived and told cheerleaders I’d run faster (ok, go from walking to running) if they did a back flip and grinning ear to ear just about most of the time for the first marathon.  I’m searching for a little more pain and want to dig a little deeper and see what I can do with this second one, but I’m hoping that I don’t feel any less of that pure JOY I felt in the last 6-8 miles of my first.  I’m not sure if it’s possible, but I can hope!

I’m ready to battle.  My body is ready, my mind is getting there.  Just still figuring out my battle plan is all.

Oh, taper madness.  Combine you with hormones, work stress, personal stress, and a whole bunch of other shit, and you’re a raging bitch.

I think my problem is the opposite of many other people though – it’s not that I’m going mad because I’m running less, it’s that I’m going mad because I’ve told myself “taper is starting”, and somehow I expect that first week to be a breath of fresh air.  It’s not.  I’m training just a little less than I was at peak, and for stressed and exhausted me, that wasn’t little enough.

But, let’s go back, because the last peak week was AWESOME.

Training:

My last peak week was something of perfection.  The weather was pretty damn perfect, my legs felt fatigued but never ready to collapse, and my paces were pretty much spot on to support what I want to run in two weeks.  I was even feeling so confident, that I decided we should do a run-venture instead of sticking to normal territory for our second 20 miler, and beat the time of our first by 7 mins.  We had an epic day and it was a blast and definitely the stuff memories are made out of, and it was wonderful.

I breathed a sigh of relief that I had made it to taper – not remembering a few key things:

1. Taper is STILL way more run volume that I’ve been doing all year outside of the last month and a half.

2. Work went from about a 5 stress level to 11 and hasn’t let up.  Zliten’s work stress did about the same thing at the same time.

3. Lots of non-work, non-running related projects and things to take care of, that I’ve been ignoring and haven’t had time to do because I’ve been running, working, recovering, or trying to squeeze in some social time – they’ve become a lot more critical because we have family coming into town for Thanksgiving this Thursday.  Let’s also put this out there that I don’t WANT to do any of these.  I want to “mark them all as read” and make them go away.

4.  This all leaves ZERO, or possibly negative time for down time and relaxing.

5.  Everything we own is falling apart, and nothing is working right.  Between electronics and house shit, it’s been a MAJORLY expensive month.

I had to do a lot of interesting juggling of workout times (i ran on the treadmill at the gym twice in one day), but I made it through all ~20 of my weekday miles by hook or crook and was pretty proud of myself.

Then, I had a major meltdown on Thursday night which resulted in some major carnage on my hand, a damaged dresser that was totally innocent, but the wall I put my foot and fist through TOTALLY deserved it.  Then I went and sobbed for about an hour (me = totally not a crier so this is NOT normal) and didn’t sleep but about 3 hours that night.  It was about 25% due to the few drinks I had, but I remember everything and wasn’t super drunk, and it really was just about needing to release some MAJOR rage in a way that I couldn’t any other way, I guess.

Normally after all that, you’d call in sick to work, right?  Wrong.  Not when you’re doing your biggest release of the year and it went live at 3am (while you were huddled on the couch sobbing because nothing was working, life wasn’t fair, and you wanted all your responsibilities to go away just for a darn minute).  I hobbled mentally through the day and it wasn’t too terrible and was able to get through without any more walls asking for it, and attended a friend’s birthday party that evening, but once I got home and hit the bed I slept for almost TWELVE hours.

I woke from that sleep still feeling mentally and physically fragile, so I bagged the run.  I didn’t want to play catch up on recovery by doing it Sunday, and I could tell both my body and mind needed a break.  I didn’t want to limp through my last long run of the cycle and have that be on my mind marathon morning.  I want that super strong and fun 20 miler to be the last one.  So, we spent the weekend tackling those projects we had been ignoring, and I got in 38 easy trainer miles on Sunday night watching a movie.

While I hate that I missed a major run, I’ve been pretty darn consistent this cycle.  Over the 6 weeks of training, I’ve cut 3 runs short (finished at least 3/4 of them, but cut them due to time constraints), and skipped 2 runs (this one and a 5 miler) and subbed 30+ bike miles instead each time.

I feel way better about life this week, and one benefit of skipping Saturday’s run is my legs feel WAY fresh and rested much earlier in the taper cycle (whether that’s a good or bad thing is TBD, I just know I’m going to need to watch myself and not go thrash them again).  I’m ready to attack this last week of reduced training and hit my paces, and then rest up and rock out a great marathon.

Here’s the deets-

Week 44: Peak Week of Awesome

Monday: Run: 6x800s 5 mi 00:50 10:00 pace Weights: Arms and Abs 00:30
Tuesday: Run1: Easy 8 8 mi 01:33 11:37 pace Run2: Night Running 4.2 mi 00:48 11:22 pace
Wednesday: Bike: Trainer + Thor 22 mi 00:56 23.6mph pace
Thursday: Run: It Won’t Be Long, Yeah.. Yeah… 10.53 mi 01:56 11:00 pace
Friday: off
Saturday: Run: Runventure 20 mi 03:49 11:26 pace
Sunday: off

Total: 48 miles, 9 hours of running. 22 miles, 1 hour biking. 1 weights session.

Week 45: Crazy Week of Crazy

Monday: Run: I Remember This Feeling… 4 mi 00:38 09:22 pace Weights: (forgot to log, but did arms and abs)
Tuesday: off
Wednesday: Run1: AM Run 4 mi 00:41 10:09 pace Run2: PM Run 4 mi 00:42 10:33 pace
Thursday: Run 1: This Is Not The Run You Were … 2.75 mi 00:30 10:43 pace Run2: Lunchy Runchy 4.5 mi 00:51 11:20 pace
Friday: off
Saturday: off
Sunday: Bike: Not-a-long-run 38 mi 01:49 20.9mph pace

Totals: 19.25 miles, 3.5 hours of running.  38 or ~2 hours biking.  1 weights session.  Missed about 3 hours running, but added about 1.5 hours biking that was not expected.

Food/Scale:

Let’s just say that I haven’t weighed very regularly, and I haven’t really been good at any sort of diet quality.  After my boom splat on Thursday night, I decided the last thing I needed to do was stress about food so I didn’t even track all weekend.  I wasn’t keen to get on the scale right then as it was that super bloaty gross time of the month, so I gave myself a few days to not feel like a water bag and have eaten some fruits and veggies.  I finally got back on the scale today and it said: 176.0.  So I haven’t done any major damage, and it’s time to really clean up my eating and make sure my weight stays stable (or better) through taper time.

It’s bizarre.  I held really strong through Halloween, but this month, I’ve got all this candy around and it’s been magically shoveling itself into my mouth. Today, it all went into the bike food box which I cannot touch unless I’m biking.  At least then I won’t be sitting on my ass eating candy corn, I’ll be pedaling.  I may be a little more hooked on the white pony than I’d like to admit and it may be time to be a little harsher with myself than I have been to make sure that one that I’m not at least 30% composed of mellow-creme pumpkins.

Now, it’s time to really kick the sweets, the refined grains, and get on with being composed of beans and whole grains and fage and fruit and veggies and some meat and some nuts and feeling super again!

Here’s the deets (I retroactively added last weekend’s food from memory, so it’s probably a rough estimate at best, but oddly enough, even though I just DIDN’T CARE and ate what I wanted, the deficit ended up being just about the same over the course of the week, just not on the right days…).

Week 44:

Week 45:

Other fun stuff:

-My review of Birds Barber shop was the review of the day on Yelp for Austin last Thursday!  That came on a pretty rough day so it made me happy!

-I actually sewed!  I made a remote holder for our bedroom for our headboard (that matches it), and mended a bunch of stuff I’ve been meaning to patch up – which means I got two pairs of running capris back.  Wheee!  I have a few more projects I hope to get done this month but at least I friggin sewed!

-My work deadline, the game release, finally happened!  We’re doing a little post-release clean up, but so far, things are looking really, really good and I’m hoping within the next week things will go back down from 11 to, like 5.  I can handle 5. 🙂  Making other people happy and giving them fun stuff to do is worth the stress, but dang, it’s hard to see the other side sometimes when you are down in it.

-Saw Thor 2 – it was AWESOME!  Rainbow road rules!

Aight, time to get back on with this week.  Less candy, more happy.

Question of the week: what’s your favorite candy/indulgence?