Adjusted Reality

“Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.” – Mark Twain

Page 75 of 218

A day in the new life

Days are a little different now that I’m on a bit of a break with this whole sport thing…

I wake up in the morning, shower, brush my teeth, take care of the pets, pack my breakfast and lunch (or not, depending on the day), and go to work.  I still am not yet springing up at my alarm even on 8+ hours sleep, so sleep-a-palooza is still in effect.  Though I do kind of screw that up a day or two each week by staying up too late, there’s plenty of sleeping long, sleeping in, and naps making up for it.

There’s no serious run, bike, or swim before work right now.  There’s not even walk, stretch, yoga, or weights.  No trying to squeeze in *something* in the mornings.  It feels weird still, but I don’t really miss it yet.  I miss the idea of being a triathlete, but when I think about actually doing a real workout session right now my body and mind cringe.  It’s not time yet.

Mar22-2

Most strenuous workout so far = 1.5 mile hike around a pretty park.  We hated it.

At work, I am making a habit of having coffee first thing.  I pour a little bit of the real stuff at the bottom of my cup and fill the rest with decaf.  A little bit of caffeine is definitely helping curb my appetite in the mornings without making me wired, since I’m trying to eat less.  I’ve kind of ditched the breakfast rules and have eaten everything from an oatmega bar to half a greek salad, anything filling around 100-200 calories.  I’m finding I’m not dying for food in the morning but by 11 or so, I will get hangry if I don’t have *something*.

We usually go for at least 2 walks a day, one in the morning or at lunch, and one in the afternoon.  Even without training, I’m hitting 10k steps or over about 50% of my days (and generally hitting about 8k on the other days).  With a tiny bit of effort, moving your body 5 miles a day isn’t that hard at all.  Even when I was marathon training, even when I was streaking and running every day, I didn’t always hit 10k steps on shorter run days.  It’s interesting how the body just compensates to keep itself in stasis as much as possible.

I’ll have lunch around 12:30-1pm-ish, and generally something similar to I would have had before.  Today was mongolian grille – veggies, chicken, sauce and brown rice.  Oh, the rice was amazing. When I was training brown rice with just some soy sauce never was so satisfying but I ate that shit up today like it was plate of loaded cheese fries.

Mar22-4

Freebirds salad with chicken, black beans, veggies, and guac.  Something I would have eaten before, maybe with some cheese (sacrifices have to be made sometimes).

The short version of my diet is “I got rid of snacks”.  This is taking a bit to get used to.  I used to eat constantly.  Breakfast.  Mid-morning snack. Lunch.  Snack around 3.  Snack around 5.  Dinner.  Second dinner.  Generally healthy stuff, needed to keep up being a triathlete, but still, lots of calories. I did have to stop for a bit because of my tooth problems. In this interim, I had to find more on how braces could keep my teeth from yellowing.

When 3 or 5 or whatever comes around now, I’ve been distracting myself with a cup of tea, and some gum (and making sure that my water stays full as well).

It’s a little weird to not have training in the morning and at lunch, but we almost always did something after work.  That’s when it’s the weirdest.  We’ll leave work around 5:30-6pm, maybe have one errand, but not always, and then be home, dinner prepared, and eaten by 7pm… and thanks to the time change, it’s still light.

It’s very odd to have evenings free.  Because of this, the house has stayed very picked up, I’ve read probably close to 700 pages in books over the last 7 days, and on nights where I haven’t been stupid or unintentionally dosed with a bunch of caffeine (hello decaf coffee THAT CLEARLY WASN’T), I’ve gotten a heck of a lot of sleep.

In terms of following my plan, I give myself a gold star for the week.  We’re not counting Monday, since it was Zliten’s birthday and we started the next day.  Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday, I ate between 1200-1300 calories.  Thursday was working SXSW for work, St. Patrick’s Day and D&D night, and even with all that I kept it to 1500 calories.  Saturday was birthday celebrations with the parents and some drinks later, and I kept it under 1900.  My fitbit said I stuck around the 1000 calorie deficit all week, and that’s generally where I need to be to see any changes (since I’m pretty sure it overestimates calorie burn, I don’t see any change at the “kinda hard” setting with a smaller deficit).

Mar22-1

Sometimes beer is more important than food.  Especially green beer.

Sometimes balancing the calorie bank + sanity = sacrificing a little bit of true healthiness in the moment.  For example, I ate approximately 1000 FOOD calories so I could enjoy a green beer or three on Thursday.  I counted my giant slice of carrot cake I was served (not my choice on the size but it’s a favorite of mine so I also didn’t turn it away) as my dinner on Saturday.  Occasionally, it’s going to happen.  Believe me, after how crappy I felt Sunday, I’m not going to make a habit of it!

I was actually nervous that I’d be able to hit these numbers again.  I’m very happy I’m on day 9 now, and navigated some potential pitfalls in an acceptable way (and haven’t hated my life).  This week coming up will have challenges as well.  I expect they all will.  That’s just how life goes.

Friday, we’re camping with a big crew of people at the Renaissance Faire.  I’m just going to have to a) not do snacks and bring reasonable healthy meals to cook over the fire, b) pour my drinks with lots of mixers and stick to vodka/diet soda or something like that and c) realize I’ll probably be trekking all over that day so a few extra calorie are probably warranted anyway.

Mar22-3

Been so busy triathleting I haven’t camped in TWO YEARS.  We set it up to make sure it still could be a tent.

Sunday is Easter with my family.  My strategy there is to enjoy the feast, but take a small plate for lunch and eat until I’m no longer hungry, not stuffed and bring home some leftovers for dinner.  I’m also bringing cauli-taters and a green salad so I have healthy stuff to load up on and taste the rest.

As for my weight, I stepped on the scale for the first time Saturday, and I’ll continue to do it daily for the data points, but it doesn’t mean anything until about April.  I’m not sad about it, I’m not happy about it, it just is and I’ll let it be until I start to see a trend.

I know my body is resistant to change, so I know that I need to be patient.  I also know this works if you keep at it, so that’s what I need to do.  This shit doesn’t happen overnight as much as you want it to.  Oh man, I really DO want it to though.  Am I at race weight yet?

In my head, I feel like I should be champing at the bit to start training again, or at least start doing some sort of running, biking, or swimming, but I am not at all.  Not in the least.  The idea of intervals or watts or garmins or peak weeks or getting packed up for a race doesn’t spark anything yet.  I’ve rushed myself back into training for a few years now, sometimes under the guise of just going out and doing stuff for fun, and if I want to stay in this sport, I need to make sure I don’t do that. I got myself totally and truly burnt out and I need time.

7 weeks off in late 2012.  The only time I took off in 2013 was an injury… a few forced weeks doing nothing and then doing everything as quickly as I could to ramp back up.  5 weeks off in 2014 summer.  5 weeks off in 2015 (which I honestly probably did way more training for an offseason than I should have).  Every other moment of every other year I’ve been specifically training for races. I suppose I can give myself a break if I’m dragging my feet 2.5 weeks, especially in those circumstances.

The good news is I that found some pretty good joy in a cruiser bike ride around our neighborhood yesterday.  We even went for a walk around the block to close out the sunset and joked that it was the first brick of the year.  I’m pretty hopeful that I’ll get to paddleboard for the first time today, and if not, I’m looking forward to another bike ride.  I’m coming around to the idea of doing some body maintenance, like stretching, rolling, and bodyweight stuff soon.  Not yet, but soon.

While I’ve been hoping to spring out of bed one morning like “ok, my body and mind are completely fixed and I’m ready to be who I was last year at this time again”, I have a feeling it’s not going to happen quite like that.  Instead of diving off the high dive right away, I’ve been sitting by the shore for a few weeks.  Now I’m considering sticking my toe in.  In a few months, I have faith I’ll be all the way in but I’m not rushing myself and letting myself acclimate to the water every step of the way, for the first time in forever.

Diaries of a madwoman – day 1 of #projectraceweight

I know things will fall into place soon.  I know it gets easier…  routine, inertia, and all those types of things.  But the first few days of trying to limit calories are always ridiculously horrible and hilarious.  So, I present to you… the day 1 chronicles of #projectraceweight.

Dec14-1

Spaceship!!! I mean raceweight!!!!

Upon waking: yeah! Time to start #projectraceweight, I’ve only been thinking about this for months.  LETS GET IT ON!

Morning – hey, I’m too busy to do anything but eat this 100 calorie greek yogurt (with a 5 day old spoon from my last yogurt that’s still sitting at my desk, yeah, I know, I’m gross).  That’s probably a good start, right?

Mid-morning: why am I biting people’s heads off and feeling irrationally angry at things?  Oh, right, I only had a 100 calorie yogurt for breakfast.

noon-thirty: turkey sandwich is LIFE.  Veggie pasta salad is EVERYTHING.  I’m sorry for the things I thought when I was hungry.  I love eating food.

Fl-6

Sadly, not publix.  But like, kinda the same.  With sprouted grain bread instead of magic bread.  And no magical pickles.  Ok, not the same at all. 🙁

2pm: well, fuck, why am I hungry already?  Well, knew this was going to happen for a few days.  Let’s get some decaf chai.  Yummmm.

3pm: gum is good gum is good gum is good gum is good gum is good gum is good.

4pm: why did i eat the stupid cheese on my sandwich?  That’s 70 calories, like half the can of soup I’m staring at wishing I could put in my mouth.  I wonder how many calories are in tin?

4:30pm: I ate a healthy breakfast and lunch.  Why aren’t I skinny yet?  119 days and 1 dinner to go.  Sigh…

Mar16

This is the appropriate sized salad for me right now…

5pm: gum is good gum is good gum is good… fuck, it’s getting stale. *pleh*

5:14pm, 5:21pm, 5:22pm, 5:22:30pm, etc: is it time to go yeeeeeeeeet?

5:25pm: break down and grab my blackberries.  Some of them taste like they’re about to turn bad.  Wonder if a stomach bug would help me get to race weight quicker.  Decide to pick around the obviously bad ones as a compromise.

5:45pm: whyyyyyy do I have to do an errand after work?  I want to eat dinner noaaaaw.  Who’s idea was it to give up snacks?  (sigh, ME)

6pm: if the bike guy takes any longer I might go lick someone’s tires.

6:30pm: this is the best chicken I’ve ever tasted in my life.  This yogurt caesar isn’t so bad either.  I love food.  I love food so much.  This is one thing I have going for me, I love healthy food so at least I don’t hate what I’m eating.  That would be horrible!

6:45pm: I have more calories, and I’m still hungry, so another chicken patty and 10 (count them) tater tots as a treat.  Besides needing a dash more fiber, my macros are spot on without explicitly trying *throws the rockstar horns*.

7pm: ok, 1250 calories.  Done for the day.  I’ll put some lemon and stevia in this water and pretend it’s vodka and I’m sipping it on a beach somewhere, already done with this.

Mar16-2

Yep.  Totally the same, except on my couch, from a water bottle, no booze, and no ocean to play in.  Totally the same.  (Not the same at all)

8:30pm: fuck it, let’s go to bed so I can’t see the kitchen anymore.

8:45pm: proudly put two stars on the calendar, one for me, one for Zliten, signifying that we made it through #projectraceweight day one, successfully

Today, I’m here with coffee in hand and a slightly bigger breakfast, and I’m back to the start.  1 day + 1 meal down, 118 and 2 meals to go.  Let’s get it on, day 2!

How to eat 1200 calories a day and not go crazy (hopefully)

Howdy campers!  It’s Zliten’s birthday and we’re celebrating the last day of birthday-mas with some homemade birthday bourbon bacon butter pecan ice cream and a nice seafood meal at McCormick and Schmick’s and maybe a little extra bourbon not in the ice cream.  Who can guess?

Mar14-1

OH. YEAH.

Tomorrow starts the phase of #projectspring called #projectraceweight.  I don’t know why, but it feels more official with a hashtag so I’m going with it!

As I said before, the plan in terms of food intake is:

  • 1200-1500 calories 5 days a week.
  • 1500-2000 calories 2 days a week.
  • Getting my macros as close as possible to: 100g protein, 40-60g fat, 25g fiber.

Now, the last time I associated the number 1200 and calories together was probably something like “that post-race meal had 1200 calories in it” or “dang, I still have 1200 calories left to eat today and I’ve had breakfast, lunch, and snacks”.  With training and racing, 1200 calories in a day = grouchy, lightheaded, and your performance suffers.  You eventually end up in your kitchen eating almond butter out of the jar with your fingers because your body needs fuel NOW.  Don’t ask me how I know this.

For the next few months, there won’t be training to fuel.  I’m sure I’ll have days where I find myself having a higher activity level (heck, I have a 10 mile race and sprint triathlon between now and July that I’m going to show up at and see what I can do) and will adjust accordingly, but my typical day?  1200 calories + just a little more if I’m dying.

I’ve done this before, I can do it again, and I believe I’m up for the challenge.  However, it doesn’t mean it will be easy and it won’t take some strategy.  Here’s how I’m hoping to get through this.

Feb2-3

Tacos will always remain on the menu, maybe just a little less cheese though…

My version of a healthy meal is largely unchanged.

I’m not planning on trying to really reduce portions (as in, eat a smaller sandwich, salad, etc), just remove calories where perhaps they might be luxuries.  For example, right now, I might eat a turkey sandwich on a roll with a nice big side salad containing cheese and croutons as a meal.  Next week, I’ll eat a turkey sandwich on sprouted grain bread with no cheese and just mustard and a nice big side salad with just veggies and lower calorie yogurt dressing, which is really just as filling, just slightly less enjoyable.

feb12-1

Because I’m not doing what’s on the garmin anymore, I’m not doing much of the rest of the picture either.

Eliminating snacks with more than ~50 calories.

When I’m not crushing 2-3 workouts a day, I’d much rather allocate my calories to a bigger lunch and dinner rather than pick at food all day and never feel full.  Before running and triathlon, when I was eating to lose weight, I rarely ever snacked – maybe some carrots here or a piece of fruit there, but I saved my calories for meals and felt much better than picking at food and being hungry all day.

Typically, I am more brain hungry (want) than stomach hungry (need) between meals in offseason, because I’m used to eating more food every so often, and that’s a hard habit to break.  Things I’ve used in the past to curb my appetite:

  • Try some water first to see if I’m just thirsty
  • Raw veggies
  • Small piece of fruit
  • Pickles
  • Chicken broth
  • Tea/decaf coffee
  • La Croix with a few drops of stevia in it (instant soda!)
  • Gum
  • If I’m desperate – a handful of pretzels

In general, if you give me some salt and/or something the chew on, I’ll get by.

Feb17-2

Definitely one of my go to meals out.  Chicken pho with veggies is super filling for the amount of calories.

Not being tied to my kitchen

Of course, the best way to eat healthy and lose weight is to cook most/all of your own food.  However, sometimes a friend wants to meet you for lunch.  Or you’re out and about and you’re starving.  Or you are just plain sick of your own food.  Or you just don’t fucking feel like cooking.

One great tool in your fat loss arsenal is to have a bunch of meals you know are reasonable out there in the wild.  I lost 100 lbs eating a whole lot of takeout because my company was working long hours to ship a product and feeding us lunches and sometimes also dinners at work.  I still got it done.  Is it cheaper and healthier to make food at home?  Sure, but I can assure you that it’s possible even if you don’t cook all the time.

I generally have the info in my head, but I’m also building up a personal database of places I can go and get a filling meal for under 500 calories, which I will stick to if at all possible.  While it feels gimmicky sometimes, I appreciate a lot of restaurants doing a lighter menu so at least I know there’s something reasonable, and something I can somewhat predict the calorie count.

2008-1

In July, hopefully I’ll be back to this size and able to put all this nonsense away for a while.

This is not forever

This is the big one for me.  This is what I’m doing right now.  Cake and pizza and all the gross food I can afford to splurge on occasionally during high volume training days will still exist in four months.  I won’t have to suffer shunning the bread basket at restaurants and order whatever sounds least horrible on the light menu and grumble or eat like a fucking bird at parties so I can have a few drinks for too long.

I’ll have some stuff to navigate and my willpower will be tested.  There will be a good handful of birthdays and other social get togethers between now and July.  Game night every two weeks has snacks and sometimes beer.  I’ll be on a freaking cruise in the middle of this (which I will do my best and splurge SPARINGLY).  I just have to remember that:

  1. I have an ultimate goal that is more important than whatever fun food is staring me down if I can’t find a way to make it work and…
  2. I will not have to be lame forever.  Just for now.

Bonaire2-16

This will NOT be part of a normal day.

A normal day

In general, I’m going to try to stick to the same amount of calories for each typical meal every day so even if I am not tracking closely and am out and about, I can have a general grasp of what I can afford to eat.

Breakfast: 200-250 calories

I want to make sure this has a decent amount of protein.  I’m less concerned about a huge volume of food for the calories, but it needs to keep me fueled from about 9am to 1pm (to sit at my desk and not do much).  Typical breakfasts for me are:

  • Greek yogurt, touch of cereal for crunch, small piece of fruit
  • Smoothie with protein powder, frozen fruit, and a dash of milk or coconut water
  • Coffee and protein powder smoothie with a dash of milk
  • One piece of bread with turkey sausage and light cream cheese
  • Leftover soup

I’ll pair this with a cup of decaf coffee with a SPLASH of the regular stuff.  I may be the only person trying to get back ON caffeine, but its a GREAT appetite suppressor, even in these small doses for me.

Lunch and dinner: 400-500 calories

I know how to eat a BIG HUGE GIGANTIC 400 calorie meal.  I also know how to eat 400 calories in 4 spoonfuls.  For the next few months, I need to lean towards the former and ditch anything that’s got a lot of calories per volume.  Typical lunches or dinners may include:

  • Greek chicken wrap on 80 calorie wheat tortillas with light dressing, homemade side of soup
  • Chicken in the slowcooker in tomato and spicy sauce with some rice and veggies.
  • Lean ground beef on top of a taco salad with light sour cream and guac
  • The above mentioned turkey sandwich, no cheese no mayo, with a veggie filled side salad with light dressing

Frankly, most of my recipes are ~500 calories or under.  I just need to make sure I pick the most filling ones because I won’t have snacks to fall back on!

It’s a little intimidating, because I haven’t done this for a while.  What if I fail?  If I was in a vacuum and didn’t have to navigate other humans with my food choices, it would be much simpler, but certainly not as fun.  So, for the next few months, it’s about the food and not about the food all at the same time.

Question: what’s your go to healthy meal (either homemade or out)?

#projectspring

I’m super de duper excited to shift my focus away from serious endurance sports training and towards tackling some other stuff I want to accomplish in my life that don’t involve running, biking, and swimming really fast or far.  I’m dubbing it – #projectspring.  At first I was super bummed about missing my favorite time of the year to train and race, but realizing that I can do so many other awesome things outside (and inside) helped a lot!

runningselfie2

Step one, be able to produce this level of excitement for ANYTHING.

My first order of business is to get my energy and enthusiasm back.  This starts immediately.  My goal is to get to the point where I’m waking up before my alarm or at the very least up and at ’em the minute it goes off most mornings.  Monday night I fell asleep for over 10 hours, and I still snoozed for 40 mins before I dragged myself out of bed.  I just feel kind of beat up.  My goal in March is to sleep until I can’t sleep no mo’.  I miss having energy.

Mar8-1

Missing THESE days where my clothes fit.

After finishing birthdaymas celebrations, March 15th, I start #projectraceweight.   Yes, it’s a Tuesday, Zliten’s birthday is on that Monday.  No judgies.

This is the ultimate goal of these next 4 months and the reason I decided to take the spring completely off.  I’m not trying to eliminate food groups or demonize junk food or eliminate gluten or white colored food or whatever from my diet.  But I’m going to lose some fucking weight.  There is no “try my best if I can” here, it’s time to DO IT.  The specific goal is to make the number on the scale go down as quickly as possible/reasonable while not sabotaging my health (or fall season).

I know how to do this.  I lost 5 lbs in July without losing my mind.  Sadly, I put that and more back on with the failed fueling experiment, but it is proof that I know how to do this.

The plan is:

  • 1200-1500 calories 5 days a week.  1200 is HARD but will get me results quicker.  1500 is much more doable but will take longer.  I’m hoping to hit somewhere in this zone, as low as possible, without eating inanimate objects.
  • 1500-2000 calories 2 days a week.  I’m hoping to time this with slightly higher activity days, but either way, I know myself and I have to allow a few indulgences or I will go fucking crazy.
  • Attempting to hit my macros (100g protein, 40-60g fat, 25g fiber).  On 1200 days it will be challenging but that will keep me eating mostly good food and not junk.
  • Detraining but not completely.  I’ll introduce these things once I’m fully and completely healed from the marathon.  I know that the best ways for me to not be 100% complete jello when I return to being an endurance athlete in July are:
    • Short HIIT (high intensity interval training) workouts a few times a week – I’m thinking 20 mins max.  One minute sprint, one minute easy type things.
    • Weights/conditioning – while I know it’s hard to lose weight while building muscle, I don’t want to lose what I’ve got.  The goal is more maintenance than killing myself in the gym lifting heavy here.
    • 10k steps per day goal – it’s actually pretty easy to hit this with just a few walks per day at work even on days off training.  This is just a constant reminder to stay active.

The mindset:

When I was first on my way down weight-wise, I definitely had some negative type reinforcement with myself and mental issues to work through.  Not to say that I don’t have separate shit to work through (hello, disappointment in my fall 2015 winter 2016 season), but I understand the process a little better and hopefully I can be a little more gentle on my psyche.  Though the action still is the same, the message is different.

2007 me: You don’t deserve that piece of cake because you’re a worthless fat piece of shit.  Eat celery forever and cry, fucker.

2016 me: You don’t deserve that piece of cake because you’re choosing to invest your time and effort into #projectspring.  You deserve better than to sabotage your hard work.  Cake will still exist in 4 months.

And this is the truth.  If it’s hard – that’s fine.  Because this is my project. I am training to not fall face down on a bag of chips or a pie or a bottle of vodka.  This is the hard I am choosing to tackle right now and I can deal with it.

I suppose if I had to put a number on it, I’d like to weigh no more than 160-something (169.9 is acceptable) come July 1st.  My wildest dreams would be seeing 150 lbs.  Either way, I’ll feel so much better than I do now not carrying around a bunch of extra sacks of flour on my body.

Mar8-2

This is a before shot of our workout room.  Just enough space had been cleared to make the treadmill usable.

Mar8-3

Let’s call this a progress picture from the same angle – after 2 hours of work, it’s not yet the pain cave we want it to be, but it is an organized and usable room!  Wheee!

I want to make some progress on house projects.  This involves two categories:

Cleaning and organizing (need only time)

  • Vanity area in the bathroom
  • Office
  • Workout room (DONE!)
  • Guest room closet

Bigger projects (need time and money):

  • Kitchen remodel – new cabinets, new counters, potentially a new floor, paint, and backsplash
  • Back patio remodel – repouring the concrete, maybe sprucing it up a little, possibly adding a cover to the patio and also a space for a future hot tub.
  • Replacing the shed we had torn down with one that closes and locks to store bikes (increasing the potential for more bikes down the road :D), camping equipment, kayak stuff, etc.
  • Workout room as a pain cave set up – we need one cheapo computer to be a Zwift machine, one TV on swiveling mount, some inspirational decorations, and probably a better ceiling fan (the organization is done, now we just need to buy all the stuff).

I talked about it in depth here but this spring is when I become a biker chick.  I want to become less of a scaredy biker and bike with groups more. I really want to start using my cruiser bike (and feet) to commute and transport myself whenever possible.  I rarely venture more than a few miles from where I live and it’s ridiculous to drive everywhere.

I want to get a for real triathlon bike, with the right tri bike geometry.  I need to do all my research so I spend money on what matters and not just because it’s 2 grams lighter and 3 grand more.

I’d really like to do something with this site.  After I decompress enough to get a little bored in the evenings, I want to make this site into something a little less… eclectic.  Something more intentional than a hodgepodge of my attempt at a artsy web design job application in 2004 and a very haphazard theme and awkward set up with a blog jammed into the middle of it.  It still works as a place to vomit my thoughts every once in a while, but I’d like to actually give this place a makeover.  Y’know, make her fit into 2016… either under my own power or spend a little $$$ to get someone to do it for me if I give up.

Bonaire2-14

It may have been cute to wait a little while to process my Bonaire pics because I didn’t want the vacation to end, but it’s been months.  It’s time to dig through the 800 or so I have left and then count the days until I can go back.

I want to go camping once a month.  It soothes my soul even if my body gets tired from roughing it.  Potential targets include:
-March, Sherwood Forest
-April, enchanted rock
-May/June, Inks Lake? Pace Bend?

While I doubt I’ll keep this up during the heat of summer, I’d like to remember it’s an option even during training season, because it’s an AWESOME way to go run and ride in new and interesting places.  We just get lazy about it.

I may not want to be IN the water just yet but it’s getting close to time to be ON the water, which means I’ll be sup’ing and kayaking as much as I can once the lake is closer to 70 degrees and not 60.  And, of course, this will transition into waterpark and snorkeling in the lake as it becomes warmer.

July15-1

I want to go do things!  There are so many things in Austin to do.  They all sound fun!  The kite festival!  The weiner dog races!  Eeyore’s birthday!  Some random band is playing somewhere!  I mean, maybe not THOSE SPECIFIC THINGS, but THINGS!  They sound much less desirable after beating the hell out of myself on the road all morning/afternoon/week.  I’m looking forward to combining this with locomotion without cars (cruiser bikes + walking + train) and doing more fun things around town.  I’m also looking forward to having the spontaneity, energy, and flexibility to go do random shit that comes up instead of choosing my couch.

I miss being crafty and creative in my spare time.  Coloring has filled the void in a nicely mindless way right now, but I miss stuff like making jewelry.  I would like to refresh my memory at the piano, it’s been years, and it’s sitting there staring at me, taunting me.  I would like to make some progress with sewing, another inanimate object that mocks me constantly.  I have a book idea that woke me up in the middle of the night last week and I’d like to make some progress with it.  I am actually a creative person when I don’t beat all the enthusiasm out of myself.

I’m so excited to start on all these things right away, which is a good sign that #projectspring step 1 (get my mojo back) is already in the works.

Question: what’s your biggest goal this spring?

The Woodlands Marathon

It was an interesting weekend, I’ll say that.  I’m still exhausted. 🙂  Instead of a chronological account of everything, I feel like I need to do this in categories, because it was the best and worst of times… at times.

Mar7-1

Pre Race Nutrition: A+

I think I’ve figured out the optimal day before and morning of nutrition.

  • Day before breakfast: something hearty that makes the stomach happy.  More like 500 calories rather than my normal 200-300.  I had leftover “light take” chicken parm and it was spectacular.  Pretty sure a bagel with turkey sausage and cream cheese would be a good go to as well, since I probably won’t luck out and have leftover chicken parm again.
  • Lunch: I wasn’t feeling that hungry after the big breakfast, so I went for a 6 inch turkey no mayo no cheese with baked chips and a powerade.
  • Snacks: Random pretzels and baked cheetos and some jerky while driving there and navigating to packet pick up.
  • Dinner: My tried and true – salad, chicken, and mashed potatoes (above).  We went to Omega Grill and it was one of the best pieces of chicken I have ever had.
  • Race day breakfast: two belvita breakfast cookies with a slather of chocolate almond butter and two caffinated powerbar chews.

I felt topped off but not sick.  A little caffeinated, but not jittery.  I was able to use the bathroom before the race and didn’t have to stop during.  If nothing else went right this race, it’s really nice to have a pre-race routine that rocked, because that’s been hit or miss lately.

Race Nutrition: B

I took all the gels I had, and expected to potentially pick one up at the gel stop around 20 or grab an extra somewhere if I needed it.  Well, they were out of gels, and the only food offered to me was a tub of PB.  Hmmm, no thanks, I’ve never had that while running.  I made sure to get extra gatorades and I think I did fine, but I did feel a TOUCH lightheaded for a sec around mile 21-ish.  Next time, bring the extra gel just in case.

Post Race Nutrition: B

It always goes water, gatorade, then beer, and this was no exception.  The food tent was a little sparse by the time I got there, but they had garlic toast left, and I think I crammed them two pieces in my mouth before I chewed anything.  On the walk home we picked up some Taco Bell, which I usually think is the nastiest thing in the world, but that Quesalupa was LIFE.

Since then I’ve just kind of made sure to eat something every few hours.  I haven’t gotten to the point of getting so hungry I’m shaking, and I also haven’t felt like I’ve eaten like an asshole, though I have had 4 different fried things already today and it’s lunch, so maybe that isn’t entirely true.  The QUANTITY hasn’t been assholish, but the quality kinda has been.

We had a few adult bevvies with dinner post marathon, but actually saved the CELEBRATION for the next day, which I actually think worked out better for recovery.

Gear minus my shoes: A

I know I can buy contact lenses easily for the race, but I wore new sunglasses instead (I know, I know, nothing new the day of the race…), and they worked out great, thankfully.  I wore the same tried and true kit I wore at SpaceCoast, down to the same socks (but probably not underwear).  I lubed up enough so I got almost ZERO chafing, and that’s pretty damn impressive for a warm marathon.  I missed a few spots with the sunscreen, but I got most of the surface area and it stayed put.  I’m sold on the race belt for my number thing now.  It looks a little doofy but it’s SO nice to have space for gels.

Mar7-3

Shoes: D-

I barely passed them because they got me to the end of the race, but I think it might have been IN SPITE of that, and I might have been better off barefoot.  My entire left arch and left toe have become blisters, not those cute ones you just notice after you finish a run, but the kind that show up at mile 10 and go, hey lady, you have to run 16 more miles, fuck you.  I got a blood blister on my right foot as well.  Sorry Clifton 2s, you’re shit and I’m donating you and never running in you again (though I’ll probably still go for another pair of Hokas, just not THOSE).

Lesson learned: when your shoes just don’t work out, it’s not worth toughing out a season in them hoping they get better.  Live, learn, use them for short runs and buy more shoes.  In hindsight, I’m pretty sure this was part of my hip problem, and I’m hoping that staying out of them for the next 2 weeks/rest of my life will prove that.

My actual race performance: D

Here’s that bit where I usually focus on and it really is a small part of Saturday’s story.  I held sub-5 hour pace through mile 11, where it became abundantly clear to me that my body was not going to continue with that much longer.  The hammies and glutes cramping started at mile 5 and never got better, even though I shoved 303s (herbal muscle relaxers), caffiene, and the super electrolyte gel.

I was able to keep it under control at first by backing off the pace by a little up hills, but once the blisters kicked in, my gait adjusted, and other things started to hurt too.  I went from a goal of 4:59:59 to hoping I would be able to finish before I was swept off the course because there was very little running left in my legs even before I hit the halfway mark.

My attitude: A

I won’t give myself a plus here, because there were a few miles in which I really did contemplate DNFing, but it was more along the lines of adhering to my c goal, which was do no lasting harm to my body.

I started with a true open mind, ready to take whatever cards the day gave me and make the best of it.  If my body said running the whole thing was possible, I was ready to go all in.  Until it became obvious that it was time to fold. (ok, I’ve finished with the poker metaphors here, moving on)

I was a little salty with myself at first, but it became crystal clear very quickly that my mind was not giving up.  It was my body.  This was not my day.  And that became OK.  I decided I wanted my finisher shirt so I was going to continue until either I could not go forward without risking further injury or I was pulled from the course.

Then, I realized, I had no idea what to do with myself for the amount of time I realized I was going to be on course.  I only had a ~2 hour music playlist I planned on bringing out at mile 13, and it was weird hearing all these super pump up songs while I was intentionally walking, not out of failure, but preservation.  I had no concept of intentionally taking 6 hours-ish to complete a marathon and being ok with it.

And then I ended up walking next to and met… Aubrey?  I think?  Marathon brain.  And we talked for a few miles about other marathons and training and all sorts of random stuff.  I started to feel better and told her I was going to run a bit and I hope she’d catch up with me later.  Sadly, I didn’t see her again, but I hope she had a great day!

Between the blisters and the other pains, it was more painful to START running than anything, so once I got going, I tried to keep it up as long as I could, because the walk breaks had to be long too with the blisters and the cramping.

After 30k, I made a turn and there was a spectator that I thought was being super nice, talking and encouraging me and offering me food.  Then I realized that she was talking to the gal behind me.  Embarrassing!  However, I made friends with both of them (Sadie!  I remembered a name of someone I met that late in the marathon!) and we walked and ran a bit together through early 20s, until I decided that we were probably holding each other back enjoying our walk and talk, so I decided to run ahead and we ping ponged back and forth until the end.

I figured a little more running couldn’t hurt, so I ran the last mile and a half and made it to the end.  I found Zliten and said something like “I finished! I made friends!  I can has offseason now!”, to which I’m sure he was super happy not to have to deal with a super pissed off emotional mess, which I was absolutely not.  I came in with hope for a great day but I was absolutely prepared for many situations, and finishing in about 6 hours was absolutely not the worst of them.

Mar7-2

Proof I was hoping for the best!

Body Condition After: D

Let me tell you, walking most of the second half of a marathon was no easier on me than running the full race last year, probably WORSE.  I won’t say this is the sorest I’ve ever been in my life, but I wouldn’t necessarily say I can remember ever being more creaky 2 days removed from any race yet.  I went from baby giraffe on day 1 of life, to baby giraffe on day 2, and today, I feel as if I can upgrade my condition to old man with a walker.

There is no ANNOYINGLY FINE going on here.  I am physically and mentally spent.

Quickies:

Course: B-.  The elevation profile makes it look deceptively flat, which is in the sense that there are no big hills, but you are always going up or down.  Not my favorite.  However, you get to run through the woods.  It’s gorgeous.  I can train differently to make the hill problem go away so it’s not a dealbreaker.

Course Support: B.  They never ran out of water/gatorade, which was solid, but being out of gels at mile 20 sucked.  They extended the cutoff because it was warm, which was nice of them, and even finishing at 6 hours, I felt like they were still supporting the back of the packers well.

Spectator Support: A.  The course is one loop, but it seemed like it was fairly easy to get around, because I saw many people cheering multiple times.  The town really comes out to cheer people on!  It’s awesome!

Hotel: A.  We stayed at the Hilton Garden Inn.  It was about half a mile from the race start – perfect warmup walk, and painful cooldown but probably actually probably great for me in the long run hobble back from the race.  The restaurant had great food in a pinch when we were too… marathoned to go anywhere else for dinner.  It was extremely QUIET and the room was comfortable, and I got decent pre-race sleep and AWESOME post race sleep, and both of those are hit or miss.

All’s well that ends well.  It’s done.  I’m FREE.  It’s offseason.  Cheers to that.  I’m not sure if I’ve ever been less sad not to be training for something.

Mar7-4

While I gave marathons up about 20 billion times on the course, I can’t 100% be done with them forever.  Zliten had a great day and beat my PR by like 40 seconds.  I will qualify that it was on a slightly short course though – I registered 26.08, he registered 26.0 – so the jury is out whether it ACTUALLY counts as a house PR.  We’ll leave it at that and say we both have the pleasure/pain of running 5 hour + a few seconds marathon times.

And, sure, there’s a voice in my head that wishes I could have been dealt some different cards, but that is just not how the day played out.  And I am TOTALLY ok with it.  Frankly, I’m just ready for this blog post to be over, because I’m so super excited about moving on and what’s next.

It’s time to heal, it’s time to rest, it’s time to grow (and shrink) in other areas, it’s time to fix things, and it’s time to do something completely different.  I’m SO pumped about this. #projectspring, GO!

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