Adjusted Reality

If you know me well, you’d know that errands are my KRYPTONITE.  I also hate, hate, hate driving.  I try to order as much as I can online and condense things down to a store or two at the most, and always as close to my house or work as possible, even if I’m not getting exactly what I want or spending a little more so I don’t have to spend hours in stores or driving around.

While I used to be a “shopper” when I was younger, I also didn’t have so many demands on my time.  Now, all I want to do when I’m off work or done with my run or whatever is relax… not fight traffic, look for a parking spot, deal with a bunch of people who are oblivious and not paying attention, and then wait in a checkout line with tired legs and watching my free time tick away.

Proof I got dressed and left my house and drove my car.  I may have been wearing a sweatshirt and running tights, but at least it wasn’t PJs!

Today’s objective was a whole bunch of errands for both Holiday shopping and just regular stuff, plus a run in the middle.  I could have run around the house and gotten it done first, but I know me.  I would have put it off for a while waking up, and then after I would have showered and lounged on the couch, and then it would have been late and more traffic-y and I might have blown it off.  I also put on the list a place I wanted to eat for lunch (Parr’s Deli, great greek food) that Zliten doesn’t love as motivation to get my ass out.

I left the house around 11 (a little later than I wanted, but such is life), and had a bit of a false start when some dude almost plowed into me.  He had his blinker on and was slowing down, and then randomly decided not to turn and speed up as I pulled out.  Awesome.  However, it was not an omen.  The day actually was… dare I say… enjoyable?

I spent the day on missions.  I often get distracted in stores, looking at everything, and then I’m like – crap, it’s been two hours, I’m over this.  Not that I stayed COMPLETELY on task, I came home with a few extranous things, but I remembered today was about the list, not wandering.

Second, it was bright and beautiful out.  I think if it was gross out or dark I wouldn’t have been so happy.  I was looking forward to getting to my run so I got through my early errands quickly and then after my run, I felt pumped up and happy, not tired, and was on my way to finish up my list with a great attitude.  Breaking up errands with a destination run was a great decision!

Third, I forgot how much I love driving around with the music up loud singing.  When Zliten’s in the car, we have the music on super quiet or not at all and talk, which is nice, but I enjoyed my karaoke time.  In fact, I was a lot more patient waiting for lights because I was like, man, my jam’s on, I don’t want to be there yet.  I realized, like some people can’t walk and chew gum at the same time, I don’t drive and talk well.  Music helps me concentrate and relax at the same time.

Fourth, it was my only goal today.  I didn’t have fifty thousand things to do like normal and get cranky at the tasks for wasting my precious time.  This isn’t typically something I can replicate in normal, non-holiday break life, but maybe I can change my mindset (3-4pm is errand time, and that’s my focus) or something.

And finally… this was my reward… om nom nom chicken shwarma wrap!  They even had caffiene free diet coke so I could have a soda with my meal.  That never happens!

Over four hours later, I came home actually happy, not stressed.  For me, this was a magical day I was not expecting.  Now, I don’t think I’m going to be volunteering myself for a bunch of errands in the future or anything, but I think I may be able to find a way for it not to drive me crazy.  Sometimes.  Baby steps.

Now, let’s ask the audience: shopping – love it or hate it?

I’m now one day into my holiday staycation, and mayyyyyybe I hyped myself up on it a little more than I should have.

First of all, I was calling it a vacation, which is totally not accurate.  When you’re on vacation, you’re away from it all.  Ideally, somewhere remote, so you don’t spend hours dorking on social media.  You’re not faced with your house and the crap that’s piled up everywhere after a busy year… with finally enough disposable time to start doing something about it.  Also, you’re there with the stuff you intentionally packed, and guess what?  If you don’t have it, you either don’t really need it, or you go buy a new thing, there’s no hunting around for it.

I got hit by all these yesterday and it made me wonder if I’m cut out for being at home by myself for this long.

First of all, I decided I was going to spend just a few minutes catching up on social media.  An hour later, I realized I was just being ridiculous because I was still on Facebook.  I can’t completely shut it down since that’s how Zliten and I message when he’s at work and I’m not, but I’m trying to limit it.  My fear is looking back at the end of my break and realizing I spent most of it wasting time on the internet, which is neither productive, nor really relaxing.

Then, I decided I wanted some TV for background and went to turn to Universal Sports Network (for some random cycling, swimming, triathlon, etc), and found out they took the channel off the air!  My beloved bike trainer motivation!  The replacement channel is in another package, so I can’t even check it out to see if it’s worth it without calling the cable company.  I was not ready to deal with that yet, so I just put something else on and fumed about it.

The house was a complete and utter disaster, so I spent an hour picking up and cleaning stuff.  Just as I’m trying to do the dishes… the top rack comes off and a part comes flying out.  I’m not sure where it came from or what to do, so I just leave it and decide the dishes can fuck themselves for now.

After most of the house was done, I sat down and decided I was done with being productive, thankyouverymuch, and I was going to spend the rest of the day playing a video game.  The one I wanted to play required a disc… and it was nowhere to be found.  As I looked, I started grabbing junk that wasn’t supposed to be where it was, and after a while, I’d accumulated a nice pile.

I got so frustrated, I was very very close to just starting to grab every piece of JUNK in this house and piling it up in the living room to go through, but my lovely husband talked me down from it.  I said it was that, a drink, or a run, so I opted for the last one and headed out the door for my first run since the 26.2 two and a half weeks ago.

The first mile I sort of grumbled in my head about everything going wrong, but then the run magic kicked in.  I started noticing how pretty the sky was, and getting random songs in my head instead of cranky thoughts.  I even felt like my stride was decent and not super sludgy.

The upshot is the day got better from there.  I found the stupid game in one of the first places I looked but apparently not carefully enough.  Zliten fixed the dishwasher (to the point where we can still do dishes, though it needs a part which is on order).

Later, we went out for another blissful 3 miles and looked at the pretty lights and talked about games and life and just like that I had done 10k on my first day back running and I felt awesome.  There was a little hiccup where Zliten started talking about pace but we came to an understanding when I loudly told him about how many fucks I gave (none, less than none if that’s an option) and he stopped.

So, maybe it’s not as exciting as diving in Bonaire, riding bikes up and down a mountain in Alaska, trekking around Portland breweries, or snorkeling in Cozumel.  Not even close.  But, that’s ok.  That’s not what I need right now.  Just like we always try to balance the adventure with also some lounging on these vacations, I need to balance my productivity with slacking here at home.  If not, I’ll have a very organized house and a very burnt out psyche January 4th, and no one wants that.  Better to pick a few manageable projects that still leave plenty of time for slackitude.

Today, I’ve had a better start.  I slept in.  I’m listening to music and ignoring my TV.  I still spent too much time on social media this morning, but it’s shut down now.  I’m off to finish up the laundry, do one more load of dishes, do some light stretching and strength work (10k back my first day might have been… ambitious), and probably spend the majority of the remainder on my butt playing the Sims.  Because… balance.