Adjusted Reality

“Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.” – Mark Twain

Tag: motivation

Second Half Marathon Training: Week 11

It was a weird week – I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel at the end of it.  Monday, I rocked my sprints.  I completely and totally rocked them.  I rocked them like Amadaus (come and rock me Amadeus… and total tangent, did anyone else used to sing “I’m a danish, I’m a danish…I’m a danish?).  Anyhoo – sadly, I had given myself permission to fail at them.  I was going to be ok if I was about to die after 4, quit there.  Or if I had to take the last 2 a little slower, I was going to be ok with that.  I had a helluva day at work, I even kinda did something I haven’t done in a while and ate some cake because I was pissed off after I was totally full from lunch, and then for some reason it became REALLY important to me to do this.  Just to show myself I could.  Just to take control of SOMETHING that day when everything else was out in orbit.

And honestly – it almost felt easier than it should have.  Sure, it was tough, but it wasn’t TOUGH.  Maybe that’s me getting stronger.  Maybe it was me refusing to let the run beat me.  Whatever it was, it was damn nice.  It was one important crazy run down, one to go.

Tuesday and Wednesday were more crappy crazy days   I was in such a mood, never mind the working late, so I just managed to get about 30 mins half assed weight training in and take the other day off.  These strength exercises may or may not have been between/during drinks on the patio.  I may possibly be insane and completely irresponsible, but I was getting a kick out of doing  lat raises in my skirt and heels with a bourbon chaser.

Thursday I knew I had to get back to it, and it wasn’t SUCH a bad day, and it was 4 mile tempo day.  As I said last week, it was pretty cake.  Instead of just being a ball of limp putty, I was able to do 30 mins on the arc trainer after.  To make up for the severe lack of any other movement beyond runs.  The plan was to do some circuit training but I was soooo done with doing anything but dinner and chillin’ on the couch, and figured I’d just rest up for Saturday’s run.  So my cross training this week?  30 mins weights, 30 mins arc trainer.  Not optimal.  Not at all.  I was feeling pretty meh about it all this week but then Saturday came.

I wasn’t looking forward to it at all.  The weather report was not looking kind – there were very few hours of the day that would feel like they were above freezing with the wind.  I got up in the morning and we grabbed some early lunch – tuna sammiches from Schlotzky’s – oddly enough they are the only tuna I will eat out because they do albacore and light mayo (so the sandwiches aren’t like 50000 calories), and they are taaassssty.  So I ate that around 11, and we sorta bopped around the neighborhood, and then I got home and very very leisurely got ready and I set out around 1:30.

It was a little cold when I first set out, but once I got running it wasn’t so bad.  I decided to just do my neighborhood laps over and over so I could drop by the house if I needed to pick up or drop off layers.  I set out with warm water in my camelback, swedish fish for rocket fuel, and the promise to myself that I would treat myself to the hot chocolate I was craving, but only if I made my pace goal of 9:40.  I felt super strong the first lap and went well below pace, the second lap I slowed a bit, the third – around mile 6, the tuna really started talking to me.  I don’t usually eat so much before a run, usually a protein bar and maaaaybe some fruit if it’s later in the day, so at first I was cursing myself.  Then after I got through the cramps I realized that I was feeling something different than normal – I wasn’t hungry.   Usually around then I’d pop my rocketfuel.  I didn’t actually use it at all.  I ran 12 miles hard with no sugar.  That was pretty incredible.

So besides figuring out that eating a big meal is good if I can let it settle/deal with the possible side cramps (probably not for the race at 7am, but for future reference), what else?  Well, I’ve also learned another interesting thing about my running for long races… I went out really fast (about 9 minute miles the first lap) and was a little worried, but it was a MUCH better run than the last one where I tried to save it all for the end.  I seem to self correct my pace pretty well.  So my strategy is to go out as fast as it’s comfortable and don’t try to stay one pace and bust ass if I need a quick slowdown.  I was running 10:30 miles on the uphill parts and the short time where my side cramps flared up.  When I felt good and it was flat or downhill, I went closer to 9 minute miles or even faster.  As long as it averages out to the pace I want, it’s fine.  And that’s why I’m training those sprints and tempos – so I’m comfortable running faster than the pace I need to go for an extended period of time.

I finished the run in 1:55:10.  9:35 pace.  I am thrilled and feel quite confident now about the race.  I definitely feel like I had a bit of oomph left at the end, and if I was running to feel entirely wasted and spent at the end I might have been able to go faster.  So under 2 hours?  Still possible.  I’m thinking under 2:05 is more reasonable.

Next week – taper week 1.  I still can’t believe I’m just 2 weeks out.  I’m definitely ready for it, I’d like to do something different for a while.  3 months of pace pace pace has been awesome for improving my running, but it’s been a little tedious.  I so enjoyed my scenic and slow 9 miler last weekend, and look forward to more of those as I work on getting used to being on my feet for 4 hours at a time.  But first things first – lets rest up those legs.

Monday: 4×800 sprints @ 4:02 per, 400m recovery in between, 1 mile warmup and cooldown.  Easy peasy, nice and short.  I’m not sure when 5 miles with 2 of them sprinting because a stroll through the park but hey, I’ll take it.

Tuesday: DDR circuits (I was going to taper strength 2 weeks ahead of time but I think 1 week will be fine)

Wednesday: 3 mile tempo @ 8:55 min/mile pace – it’s like a 5k, pretty close to my PR pace from last summer.  Again, when did that become easy?

Thursday: DDR circuits

Friday: off

Saturday: 8 mile run @ 9:40  min/mile pace

Sunday: off

Fairly easy week.  I really slacked on yoga this week (though I DID stretch really well every running day), I need to not do that this week.  No injuries please!

Baby Steps: How To Go From Fatass To Athlete in 3 Years

So there are a lot of new people on the interwebs, looking for direction.  Motivation.  An assurance that they CAN DO IT.  Well, let me offer my story in bullet points and summaries.  Here is a succint version of couch potato to hot potato in 3 years.  Maybe it’s just a self masturbatory exercise, but maybe it will help someone.  So, I pontificate.

Winter 2007
Weight: around 265
Fitness Level: Walking a mile was doable but hurt my body and I’d be out of breath, two miles would probably make me collapse.  Daily life was tiring.  I’d email instead of getting up and talking to someone a few offices away or refrain from getting up to get something from the other other room I needed if I was on the couch.  One flight of stairs winded me.
Smoking: Pack-a-day smoker
Diet: Half portion controlled micro meals and soups, half trying to eat “healthy” at restaurants and cut out fried foods (trying for 1200-ish calories per day, rarely succeeding).  Typical meal would be either a marie calendar’s microwave meal or a campbell’s chunky soup.  Or soup and salad and a muffin at Mimi’s.
Exercise program: 3 times per week of either DDR on light mode (usually for 30 minutes, but sometimes when I was mad at work I would do upwards of 2 hours) or Yourself!Fitness (PS2 game that tested your fitness and gave you workouts, either a 15 or 30 minute segment).
Verdict: Believe it or not, I lost 30 lbs in a matter of a few months and then sorta plateaued once things got stressful (job changes and moving).  The plateau happened because I went back to eating… well, not as bad as I used to, but not very well.  Not that I was doing that great a job of it before (tallying some of those “healthy” restaurant meals up with calorie counts now that I know better – and half were still over 1k calories) And stopped making exercise a priority when things got hairy.

Fall 2007
Weight: around 235
Fitness Level: Not hugely better (I didn’t see it working out), but I’d say my energy levels were definitely increased.  Daily life was not so exhausting.  I could have a normal day without just wanting to die at the end of it.
Smoking: had cut back to half-pack-a-day smoker
Diet: 1200-1500 calories per day minus some weekend splurges.  Typical meal would be a wrap or a sandwich on light bread/tortillas, diet microwave meals or soups, tortilla or pita pizzas, and sides of light italian salads or veggies with spray butter.
Exercise: 20 minutes on the eliptical 3 times per week (worked up to 30), 15 minutes of general bodyweight strength training 3 times per week (pushups and crunches on the ball, tricep dips, leg lifts, etc)
Verdict: This was huge for me.  I started and just did what spark told me to do for a month.  I lost 8 lbs and I was hooked.  I remember thinking back then, “How am I going to keep up with all that exercising?”  Little did I know… heh.  28 months later, I’m more addicted to it than I was to caffeine back then.  It was a great way to start small, and perfect for someone who didn’t WANT any specific dietary requirements.  However, through having a BANK of calories, I learned that a plate full of veggies and other good stuff was way more filling than say, pizza.  I finally started learning how to make low calorie substitutes for things I was craving (thus the pita pizza and some of my best soups were born).

Winter 2007
Weight: around 220
Fitness Level: leaps and bounds better – I had just spent the last month renovating our new house, and all but the last week before move in, kept up with my regular workouts.  Could have never done that before.
Smoking: still probably about half a pack a day but whittling down
Diet: attempted 1200-1500 calorie per day, but realized it was the holiday season.  Pretty much the same as above.
Exercise: had just lost access to a gym but gained a lot of space to do it at home, so I moved to 30 minutes of Dance Dance Revolution 4 times per week, and worked my way up to 45 and sometimes added a 5th day.
Verdict:  I was amazed that I was able to continue my program through a huge life change (moving into the house, losing the apartment gym, losing the ability to pop home for lunch, etc), but it just worked.  I had increased my exercise due to the fear of the holiday season, but honestly, I barely indulged and I lost about 12 lbs between Thanksgiving and NYE.  I discovered that no matter what changed, it would still work.  I made use of my huge house instead of a gym.  I learned how to eat healthy eating most meals out.  I learned that a little more eating just meant a little more exercise.  And I started to look at myself in the mirror and see the makings of hawtness.  I did lose track of strength training for a while which was less than bueno but baby steps.

Spring 2008
weight: 200
Fitness Level: I accomplished a huge milestone.  I ran around our local track 4 times without stopping.  And then pretty much collapsed.  But I ran for the first time in probably 15 years.  And it felt gooooood.  I was hooked.  Anything daily life ceased to be an issue here on out.
Smoking: I was probably down to a quarter pack most days, maybe 3 packs a week.
Diet: Still trying to stick near that 1200-1500, and not doing too badly at it.  Making fruit and veggies and water a priority.  Had to learn to lose weight still on not only lunches out everyday, but also catered crunch food dinners.  But I made it work with strict calorie tracking.  Typical meals were pho, turkey meatloaf, salad bars, sandwiches, or whatever else I could order off a restaurant menu that was under 500 or so calories.
Exercise: We started crunch at work, so I got over my fears of the treadmill and started using the crap-ass work gym.  I did on average 4-5 days per week.  A typical week might be – short interval run and weights (probably about 15 mins, my sprints were about 5.5), medium run (2 miles-ish at around 5.0) and weights, long run (3 miles OMG!), and some DDR and more weights.
Verdict: Weight loss kept speeding along, and I really got hooked on running.  It’s odd back then, I never thought about run/walk intervals, I just kept pushing myself to run as far as I could without stopping.  I’ve never been a fan of run/walking.  I find it hard to start again once I walk.  I’ve had to introduce it into my intervals for .05 mile just so I get used to it (if I have to stop and tie my shoe or for a water break in a race).  I was finally starting to get into exercise for the benefits of it itself, not just as one more thing I had to do to lose weight.  Started finally being able to get into some old college clothes and just all around feeling powerful.

Fall 2008
Weight: 170
Fitness Level:  I was able to run a few miles without stopping at a reasonable pace (I’d say at my all out, closing in on 10 minute miles for a mile or 2).  Most of my dumbell exercises were 10-12 lb weights.
Smoking: Probably about the same – quarter pack per day, maybe 3 packs per week
Diet: I was in the gym more so I started needing to eat more, aiming for about 1300-1400 minimum.  Just about the same as above but with homecooked healthy dinners instead of takeout.
Exercise: I finally joined a gym after finding out we were losing our office gym.  One example program when I went to 4 day weeks (after getting used to 5 days a week) was day 1/3 30 mins running, 15 mins arc trainer, and full body weights, day 2 was 60 mins run and yoga, and day 4 was 60 mins DDR and yoga.
Verdict: I stalled for a bit and then started to lose again after I instituted the 4 day weeks.  I was feeling pretty rockstar and fit.  It was a *stressful* winter though so it took me forever to chew through about 5 lbs, but I was seeing improvement with both my weights and my running so it wasn’t so bad looking back (although back then, not losing weight was a TRAVESTY).

Spring 2009
Weight: 155
Fitness Level: Was good with the 10k distance around 10 minute miles pushing it HARD.  5k was around 9 minute miles also pushing it to the max.  Increased a lot of weights (grabbing 15 – 25s for most exercises) and reps.  For the first time, toyed with the idea that I felt athletic.
Smoking: 1-3 per day, minus some weekend nic-fests with the booze.
Diet: Aimed for an average of about 1500 most days (1300 weekdays, 2000 weekends).  Moved work locations, so I could eat at home again so we were back on the wraps and sandwiches and homemade food at lunch and homecooked dinners like grilled chicken potatoes, and veggies or fish tacos.
Exercise: Half training.  At it’s peak, 2 days of 5 mile runs + weights, 1 double digit long run, 1 3-4 mile tempo run + weights, one hour cross training, and two days of yoga.  Yeah, it was too much training.  I realize this now.  But it did the trick!
Verdict:  And this is about where my weight loss stopped and I started getting more caught up in training.  I started the 3 month crazy ramp up from 10k to half marathon distance and found my love of running.  I think I *might* have underate during training (and my body revolted with some binges and practically dragging me to the fridge for any easy carbs I could get).  I did prove to myself that if I put my mind to it and put in the training, I could do anything, which was better than any crazy weight loss I could have accomplished.

Summer 2009
Weight: 155 still
Fitness Level: recovering from 13.1 miles.  Feeling fit but enjoying a break.
Smoking: 1-2 per day minus weekend nic-fits with booze.  Two packs a week max.  Maybe 1-2 days a week not smoking.
Diet: Trying to up my calories to match my activity.  Most weeks, an average of 1700 matched well with what I was doing.  Weeding out some junk food snacks and replacing it with good fats and protien.  Allowing more healthy calories.  Same type of meals but added snacks like pistachios and sunflower seeds and started loving the protien bars in the mornings.
Exercise: Just aiming to get some activity per day, 6 days a week.  Some days, it was a run.  Some days, dance class.  Some days, weights.  Some DDR and yoga.  Sometimes it was fun roller skating.  Burning on average about 2500 per week just doing whatever the hell I felt like.
Verdict: I feared that after this break I’d never run seriously again.  But then I started training short distances and finally bested my junior high 1 mile record (7:50, now my fastest is 7:17) and got a 5k PR of 26:31, I realized that I’d be ok.

Weight: 155 (see a pattern)
Fitness Level: I am an athlete. I don’t snicker or cringe when I say this.  It is SRS BUIDNESS!
Smoking: 1-3 per week, minus weekend nic-fits with booze.  Maaaayyyybe a pack a week max, usually closer to 1/2.  I don’t smoke more days than I smoke.
Diet: No longer tracking calories.  Today’s food – protien bar, leftover homemade chili for lunch, pistachios, nectarine, and a bag of carrots and pea pods for a snack, homemade beef stew and some salad for dinner, and probably a hershey kiss for a sweet treat after.
Exercise: Training for another half more sanely.  3 days a week HARD running, 2 days a week milder cross training (weight/cardio circuits), and yoga.
Verdict: This is something I can do for the rest of my life.  I eat what makes me feel good, and what fuels me to put in the training I need to accomplish my goals.  There is allowance in my daily life for moderate indulgence – I might have a drink or four on the weekend.  I might eat a piece of particularly good looking cake.  But generally, I have leaned that I operate best on lots and lots and lots of high octane premium grade fuel.  And keeping the tank topped off with the good stuff allows me to do things like run 8 mile at 8:50 pace.

So you see, it can happen.  Without completely shocking your system, you can go from lump on a log to bonafide athlete gal.  In 2007, I was winded walking up a flight of stairs.  In 2010, I plan to run my first marathon.  I don’t eat perfectly, I still drink, I eat (lean) red meat, and *shock-and-awe* I still haven’t completely quit the smokes.  Wherever your fitness level is at – you can get to where you want to go and miles beyond it with just a little stubborness and dedication.  I leave you to create your own self-masturbatory life experiences.  Commence!

The Key To Motivation

I think I finally got my brain to give up a big secret yesterday.  I’ve been curious as to why I have had ZERO interest in running lately.  Like, I took almost a month off and have really had to use the self-cattle-prod to even get out and do 2 – 5ks per week.  The first few weeks it made sense – I mean, I had just gotten done running huge amounts many times per week for 3 months.  After a while though, the urge to run never came back.  My concience was what finally got me out to do a 5k two weeks ago and it was FUCKING MISERABLE.  I did not enjoy the run one bit.  Felt great after but it was 30 minutes of PURE PAIN.  Luckily, instead of feeling aversion to running because of that icky run, I decided that I needed to run more often so I didn’t feel that way again.

Last week was nice, it was cool enough in the morning to run outside so I was back out on Friday.  I pushed myself a *little* less and just did what was comfortable, and oddly enough I only added 1:30 to my 5k time and it just felt like a nice little jaunt.  I decided on two 5k runs per week, one hard, one easy.  Tuesday and Friday seem to be good days for it.

Yesterday, I had my stuff set up to get up and go in the morning and was going to head home and do weights at lunch, but when I stuck my hand outside it immediately started sweating so I threw everything in my gym bag (I think our low didn’t even get below 80), got dressed, and went to work.  By the end of the day, I was so-not-in-the-mood-to-run.  Like I was trying to talk myself out of it.  I could just go rollerskating!  I could take a walk or practice dancing with my Zliten!  But – I knew the mood I was in.  We’d have dinner, and the couch would eat us.

So instead, I said to myself, “Self, we don’t feel like running.  I know the treadmill is dull.  You have the choice of staring at either Rock of Love or the Austin, Texas sign on the wall.  Creepy dude is going to hop on the treadmill RIGHT NEXT TO ME instead of the 20 other open ones.  We know this.  However, since we are GOING to do this (yes, self, no getting out of this one today), we are going to do it the best we’ve ever done.”  My PR for a 5k is 27:19, I decided I would accept no less than 26:59 today.
All of a sudden – I went from pissy about it to PYSCHED for my run.  I was going to attempt a feat never completed in the history of time by me.  It went from another boring run to a chance to make HISTORY!  I’ll have you know, I got on that treadmill, warmed up like I would for a 5k, stopped it to clear the mileage, set it to 6.5 to start and then booked it.  I started at about a 9:15 mile pace and ended close to 7:30.  At first I was amazed how comfortable I felt at those high speeds, but near the end it took about all my will NOT to back the speed down but keep increasing it from 7.4 to 7.5 then the last tenth I wasn’t sure I was going to make it so I set it up at 8.0.  The little mile marker clicked over from 3.09 to 3.1 and the time read 26:46.  Woohoo!

I cooled down for the full 5 minutes instead of rushing it.  My weights session took at LEAST 15-20 minutes longer than normal because I was just dead from running, but it was totally worth it.  I think I need to at least target a 5k end of September or something so I have running motivation.  Thank goodness training for a 5k is much less time intensive than training for a half marathon!  All I am going to require is 2 runs per week.  I’ll give that a try.  Worst case, I don’t beat my PR and I got a run another race.  This is a win win!

Next week, I’ll see how I feel.  I don’t think running race pace every week is going to be the answer, but it felt good to do it yesterday.  Just framing the run in my mind the way I did changed the gym from an experience I needed to slog through to an epic day! So, dear readers, what can you change your attitude about today?  What can you shift from something you just have to get through – to something you have the opportunity in which to be amazing?

My Head Is In The Game

So I wrote this yesterday.  I feel like I want to expand on it.

5.  I finally got a weekend of good (mostly) eating.  Sure, there was a good dose of absinthe on Friday.  There were 5 fried shrimp on Saturday.  However, my calorie counts were very sane peaking out at 1700-something on Saturday, and that was after a long active day.  I started the week this week at 153.8, which is nice, because each week since I’ve been keeping tabs again, it’s been 155+ because of crazy weekends.  I’m starting the report tracking today and I’m excited.  My “pie in the sky” goal is 15 lbs by 10/1 (so about 139), but I’ll be happy as long as I’m heading in the right direction.  Hell, anything that starts with 14- will make me happy dance like a moron.  I think I’ll talk more about this tomorrow, but see above – sleep deprivation and Monday a coherent post does not make.

I did some thinking (and whining) last week, and finally came to some conclusions.

I am ready to do this again.  I wasn’t before, but now I am.  Move forward.

I was trying to push myself to be ready to do this the Monday after my race, but I just this little guy, I wasn’t.  My body was still in “fuel me, biatch” mode and the 1200-1400 calories I’m chomping away at now was making my body SCREAM in agony.  It took a full week of being VERY strict with myself to wean the SUGARSUGARSUGAR thing I had going on, but I’m back to the point where I’m ok with an occasional treat and most of the time just some fruit or a sugar free pop will do.  It took about two weeks for my body to realize it didn’t need 1500 calories minimum a day and carbocalorieloading on the weekend.

The fairly low impact/less insane workout schedule was making my brain scream in agony because I was used to the KILL ME workouts before and I felt…lazy.  Worthless.  Out of shape.  Weird thoughts from someone who had just put her body to the limit and ran 13.1 miles in the hot Texas sun, but there was some toxicity I had to deal with and process.  Like if I wasn’t now immediately gearing up to tackle another race I was a failure.  Like I’m in danger of never being that awesome ever again if I don’t keep going harder/better/faster/stronger without a break.  That took about two weeks to get over, but now I’m better.  I am thoroughly and completely happy with the fact that I don’t have a race to train for right now and can focus for a while on fitness being fun, and doing what I need to do to both give my body a break, and weight loss.

So I’m ready.  My body has now adjusted to less intense exercise and less eating.  My mind has cleared out all the “you suck if your not training at 100%” and the “I want to do this but I just don’t feel like it” thoughts.  The next 2.5 months are dedicated to eating and exercising in a way that removes the rest of the weight I want to lose before the next race.  I am going to attack it the way I did my half training.  It is no less monumental or flimsy of a goal than running a race.  In my Quix-y way of course.  There will be times where something fried or something alcoholic enters my mouth, but I will plan for these occurrences and make sure I’m superduper good the rest of the day.  Like I used to.

I do not have to eat what everyone else is eating for the next 2.5 months.  Food as we know it will not go away.  Deprivation is temporary.

So I am fully and completely comfortable maintaining.  I can’t wait to do it for life.  I eat good stuff most of the time on autopilot.  If I eat when I am hungry and eat what I feel like, I can maintain my weight.  I have also made the commitment to myself to weight semi-daily for the rest of my life (and treat it as a measuring stick, not something to go all drama llama over) and I will have a “panic” number.  As in, if that is my low weight of the week, it’s back to tracking food and being good until the problem is solved.  I worked too hard to lose this weight and change my life, I don’t plan on going back  to cheeseburgers with a chocolate shake chaser for a midday snack.  I know how to maintain my weight now.

I’m not sure how that one ties in, but it made me giggle.  Anyhoo – losing is another story.  Once I stop tracking myself very strictly, it’s hard for me to stay away from the nibble here bite there munch here crunch there and all of a sudden I have no calorie deficit.  Losing weight (to me – I know some of you swear by the south beach/atkins/grapefruit/no white stuff diets but none of that works for me) means keeping yourself at a calorie intake where you are not completely comfortable.  I need to be faced with numbers that tell me, yep, you’re done eating.  I need to see numbers that tell me if I eat that cheeseburger today, I’m jepordizing losing weight this week unless I really watch it.

I generally gravitate to healthy low cal stuff if left to my own devices.  I’m no saint, but at least 80% of the time I make pretty good choices without too much effort.  Enter Zliten, my big-slab-o-meat-lovin’, taco eatin’, burger munchin’ companion.  While he loves a lot of healthy stuff too, he does not understand my plight here.  He was quite upset with me last night when I was questioning his pasta wisdom.  He – a serving is the size of a quarter around (make a circle with your fingers the size of a quarter and insert pasta until full).  Me – is that a real 210 calorie serving or what everyone calls a “serving”, which is actually about 2?  He – I’m so ready for you to be done with this.  Me – me too!  Maintaining, I wouldn’t stress about 100 calories of pasta because I’d eat until full and then be done.  Now, I have to watch it.  If I ate 320 calories instead of 210 I’d need to adjust the rest of my day accordingly.

So, for the next 2.5 months, I don’t have to eat the way everyone else does, and I don’t have to impose on anyone’s good time (maybe Zliten a BIT but he does eat EVERY meal with me so the stuff at home will be healthyhealthy).  I can go to the wing joint and cry in my salad if life brings me there.  I can special order grilled chicken and broccoli if out if there is nothing healthy.  I can have small tastes at potlucks and eat my own veggie tray.  I don’t have to eat the way I did during the race.  I also don’t have to eat this way for the rest of my life.  Saying all that and giving myself permission to be the crazy girl on a diet for a short duration is very freeing because I am so anti-that for any long period of time.  Giving myself permission to going back to maintaining after October 1st feels good as well.  I will have opportunities to indulge later.  I will have opportunities to beat up my body with crazy workouts and push myself to the limit.  This is just another thing I’m doing for a few months to change it up.

So here we go.  The pie-in-the-sky goal for October 1st is 15 lbs.  My first official weigh in will be Friday to kick things off (weigh in = lowest weight within the last 7 days, I fluctuate a lot so taking the weight on that day is usually futile).  I then have 11 weeks, so I need to lose 1.36 lbs per week to attain this.  Seems sane, right?  139, here we come!

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