First of all, let me say this. It’s not you. It’s me.
I know, it’s a horrible line, but it’s just true in this case. Now, don’t start crying. Don’t look at me like that. I wish it didn’t have to be like this.
We’re just growing apart. When I first started here, I found myself lost. Confused. In need of a creative outlet and feeling small, unimportant, and wanting to find my voice. We were like peas and carrots. You helped me get back into writing something more than whining drivel (debatable but I’ll count it, heh). You helped me meet some pretty killer people. We’ve had some really deep conversations.
You are just really crowding me though. There’s the hour or two writing posts, then the time reading blogs, then the time thinking about what to write… I’m not saying I don’t love it, it’s just…
It’s about that time in my life, that time of year, where I just can’t be that exclusive. I’m resenting the commitment. I just can’t devote that much time to you anymore. I’m sorry. Like I said, it’s nothing you did. You’ve been wonderful. It’s me. I’ve changed. I want to embrace the fact that I get into work, and most days, don’t come up for air until evening. I want to never eschew beautiful days to sit inside and write about my frustrations with weight loss. I just can’t do that with you. I know, you promised never to do it again. I just can’t trust myself around you.
It’s not that I want to leave you. No way, baby. I just need some space. I’ll be around, I’d miss you too much to leave forever, but I just need some time. We can see each other occasionally, and continue the great conversations and deep thought, but for a while, I just can’t be tied down to 4-5 posts a week.
Hopefully in time, things will work themselves out. But I just can’t promise that. Only time will tell.
Can we get together and do our normal weekly update about weight loss and fitness pursuits tomorrow? Probably, but I just can’t be sure. Hopefully this time apart will really help us appreciate what we have here. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, they say.
Stop looking at me like that. I have to leave now. I’ll be in touch.
No, it’s not another blog, I promise.