Adjusted Reality

“Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.” – Mark Twain

I Eat Triathlons For Breakfast*

*maybe.  Read to the bottom for the full story…

Here is what I wrote Tuesday night:

Apparently, between tri training where 1 hour is the absolute minimum workout and most are somewhere between 1.5 and 3, the second to last looming deadline at work hitting this week and the last (for a bit) hitting the end of this month, and just birthdays and being social and events and life… I have not succeeded in keeping a good training record for the last few weeks.

I’ll live.  I’m ready for this shit.  Bring it on, Sunday.

I have a lot of things looking back, I would do differently.  For example, here’s a list of all the horrible, dumb things I’ve done this first tri season:

-Very little swimming, when this is something that I absolutely needed the most help with.  I’ve been back in the water for the first time starting last Friday.  However, oddly enough, that time off did something to me when I finally got in and started doing laps again.  Some of you might be able to identify with this – y’know when you started running and for the first time, you hit your stride.  You found that pace that felt comfortable.  Like you could keep running forever?  I hit that with swimming freestyle for the first time yesterday.  I’m alternating about 150m breast stroke and 150m freestyle and finally got to the point where I felt like I could just keep freestyling.  Juuuuust in time.  I’m still going to fall back on breast stroke if need be, but my goal is to do at least half the 1500m freestyle if not the whole thing.

-I have not done ANY open water laps.  However, I think I’ll be ok.  I dove off the side of this into 100+ ft deep water fearlessly Friday multiple times and treaded water with no floaties continuously for 2 hours straight.  I’ll hang with some deepwater laps just fine, thanks.  Hopefully THIS lake won’t have rocks and branches and shit sticking up pokin’ me.  Yeah, please excuse the bbq-and-cake ingested pooch.  Normally I don’t like sharing the unflattering pics but this one is too perfect not to.  I’ll be taking care of that soon, thx-u-very-much but for now it’s just my extra big gas tank to get me up them hills.

-I bought a completely new bike less than 2 weeks before the tri and didn’t ride it until the weekend before.  My first ride, I did 26 miles.  Mrs. Fatass, if you’re reading this…. I have three words for you.  Owie hoo hah.  10 miles in, I came back home, Zliten put my old seat on it even though it was heavier, and I blissfully biked the rest.  I’ve ridden 3 days now and I’m way faster and doing it with less effort than I’ve ever expended before.  I can keep up with the old ladies with THEIR racing bikes on Shoal Creek and way less people pass me!

-I’m also trying to ramp up for a half (6 weeks to go from this weekend) so I have long run day mid-week since that’s a short sub-2 hour workout compared to my crazy 3+ hour run and bike adventures on Saturdays even though the runs are actually more tiring somehow.  Before Vegas, I rode 20 miles and ran 5 and showered, got on a plane, and proceeded to stay up about 24 hours straight.  After I got back the next weekend, I ran 5k, biked 25m, ran 10k, and then the next day raced (my worst ever but only by 2 seconds…) a 5k.  Last weekend, I did the 26 miles on the bike plus 10k run.  To add insult to injury, it was way too hot to do the full distance run outside, but I wasn’t going to let myself get off THAT easy with a treaddy run so I ran the mile back and forth to the gym in the 90+ degree weather and ran 4 miles of sprints in the AC in the middle.  Each week (minus after Vegas when I felt like I was going to get sick), I’ve also gotten myself up to 9 miles mid-week on a run.

What I’m doing right:

-Let me tell you, with this ridici-crazy amount of training, I am a SLEEP MONSTER.  If I get ANY less than 8 per night my body shuts me down for the deficit the next day.  I slept until 11am for the first time in months this weekend.  I also slept 10 hours the night before.  I was the person in college who slept 3 hours a night because I thought anything more was a waste.  But part of training is resting, and this week, I’m backing off the crazy and giving the ol’ bod what it needs.

-I have never been this tan.  And I don’t even intend to – with all the outside swimming, biking, and running this summer, I look finally as if I am, uh, outdoorsy.  And not even in the fake “I just got out of a tanning bed” way – I have the bike shorts, garmin, and sunglass tan lines to prove it!   Not to mention my vitamin D levels are soaring.  I feel very happy and well adjusted spending so much summer sunny happy fun time outside.

-I HAVE NOT GAINED WEIGHT!!! I was TERRIFIED I was pushing the high 160’s after Vegas and I finally worked up the courage to step on the scale today.  163.  Y’know, I’ll take it.  It’s about where I’ve been stuck for the last few months and I know it’s going to take some careful attention to my diet and toning down the crazy workouts to lose.  I’ll get there.   I’m happy to be starting from here and not higher.

-I feel very confident in my running.  I may be a little iffy on how the swim is going to go, I may be a little nervous about a new bike, but I *know* I can bust out a sub-1 hour 10k even if I’m tired as hell.  Ain’t no thing, chicken wing.

-Taking the plunge and getting a new bike.  Yeah, going to list it here too.  Even though it was risky, it actually just about split the difference of my pace on my old bike outside (12 mph) and my gym speed (18 mph).  I think I can do the ride at about 15 mph on Sunday which will put me at about 1h40 for the ride (I think).  If I can keep my swim time anywhere close to what I did in the lap pool this week, I’ll be about 40 mins for the swim, 1h 40 for the ride, and 60 for the run.  With transitions, I might even break 3h 30!!!  I could have NEVER done that on my old bike.

-Signing up.  When I set the goal to do an Olympic Tri instead of a Marathon, I was dedicated to it, but since I totally ad-hoc’d my training program, it was always a question if I’d really be ready.  A few weeks ago I was unsure if I’d even finish.  Now, I know (cross your fingers – as long as nothing weird and disastrous happens) I’m good.  It’s been a real life changing experience to set another crazy big goal and then find myself after a lot of sweat, toiling, craziness, fun, awesomeness, and sadism – standing right at the top of this mountain waiting to put up my flag saying “I am an (olympic distance) triathlete”.  It’s also fun to tell people what I’m going to do this weekend.  Apparently not many people swim a mile, bike 26, and then run 6 before lunch.

So that’s it peoples.  Bring it on.  I eat triathlons for breakfast.  I’ll rock this, and then there WILL be champagne.  And I will be able to check one of the big (revised) New Years Resolution goals off.

And here is what I found out yesterday:

“Due to Police contracts we have to close the bike course at 10:30 am. If you are still on the bike course at that time we will pick you up and you will be out of the race.”

My wave starts at 8:06.  That’s 2 hours and 24 minutes to swim a mile and then ride 26.  With the target of a 40 min swim time and 1 hour 40 bike time, plus transition…I’m cutting it cloooose.  The new strategy is to get highly caffeinated right before the race start (a soda today at lunch has kept me wired for 8 hours so it shouldn’t be hard), swim hard and positively WASTE myself on the bike course.  If I have to walk during the 10k, so be it.  At least I’ll finish.

While I was spitting venom when I first heard about the closure, I think it will motivate me to finish faster.  I tend to hold back at the beginning of long races to make sure I have enough… this will make me use my juice and dig deeper for more later.

Think good, fast, and happy thoughts for me on Sunday!


The Most Expensive Hand Weight Ever


I am an (Olympic Distance) Triathlete: The Short Version


  1. Allison

    Good luck!!! I bet you’ll do great!

  2. Congrats on your 1st Olympic! I just did mine a few weeks ago, and while I got two flats on the bike, I did an hour run, and a 40 minute bike, and I was psyched! I dont think Im ready for a 1/2 yet, good for you, espeically for it being your 1st tri season!!!!!

    ps-how did it go?

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