Adjusted Reality

Life is the picture of overwhelming right now.  Even though I’m getting enough sleep, I’m just a lot more DRAINED than normal so getting stuff done on weekdays outside of working hours (which are some days creeping past 8 into 9 or 10 hours) is impossible.  I mean, I’m up at 8:30, to work by 9-ish, get out of work usually around 6:30 or 7 (and that’s working through lunch), head to the gym for an hour or so, come home, make dinner, and it’s about 9:30 or 10pm by the time I’m done eating, and then I have about an hour and some change before it’s time to get into bed.  Rinse and repeat.

Usually weekends are my saving grace.  However, spending EVERY WAKING MOMENT of 4th of July break out of town and then heading straight into work exhausted and sleep deprived, didn’t help.  And since we weren’t home, there was so much to do this weekend.  Plus work spilled over into the weekend.  And the house is a FREAKING DISASTER and getting to me.  Anyone who really knows me would discern that it would have to be pretty bad – as generally I don’t mind living in chaos.  But this is getting ridiculous – there is so much crap on the kitchen counter that I’m trying to avoid making anything for food that takes prep.   And… this weekend I thought it would be a grand idea to go party both Friday and Saturday nights.  So I’ve spent the entire weekend either drunk or just tired.  No bueno at all.

I’m not even sure how I’m going to keep it together this week.  I’m anticipating a most hellacious week at work due to deadlines and stuff.  We have after work obligations tomorrow and Wednesday.   It’s Sunday night and instead of relaxed and happy and rested I feel exhausted and stressed and frazzled.  Not a great way to go into said week.

I either need to just get up and start dealing with stuff or decide to push it out of my mind.  The house being messy is NOT an emergency and can wait.  If the laundry doesn’t get put away, who cares?  The problem is since I *do* care, it’s stressing me out that it’s not done.  So I think that’s my answer – sacrifice my Sunday night to get shite done even if I’ll be a little less rested, because sitting here stressing about it isn’t restful and isn’t doing me any good anyway.  So there.

It’s not all horrible though.  I made good on my sugar reduction last week.  I did not have desert once, minus a few starlight mints and a fortune cookie, neither of which count in my opinion.  I gave myself free reign with fruit, and mowed through a lot of it.  I also found some really yummy 110 calorie protein shakes which are my new favorite after workout snack (only 1 gram of sugar too).  However, since they’re expensive, I’m saving them for particularly intense workouts.  Any suggestions for protein shake type things that are low sugar and about the same amount of calories?  110 calories for 30g protien is a GOOD DEAL calorie-wise, but at 8 bucks for 4 shakes, not a viable every day consumable.

I also started moving back to making lunch my biggest meal of the day and starting to feel better overall about it.  I’m not a huge believer in the “no eating after a certain time” thing, but I feel like I have less of the “hungries” overall.  And…on big workout days, it’s much more satisfying to have a 800-1000 calorie lunch at a restaurant than 500-700 calories of dinner and 300 calories of random snacks.  Plus now that I’m eating so late, it’s nice to not go to bed so full.

However, I kinda screwed up and didn’t track my calories.  I also completely botched my training plan due to just sheer exhaustion.  I think that I did alright with calories in and out and eating good stuff, but I certainly can’t quantify it.  Here is what I did workout-wise last week:

Monday: off (driving)
Tuesday: 40 mins arc trainer (525 calories)
Wednesday: off (exhaustion, felt like I was coming down with something)
Thursday: 12 mile bike ride, 3 mile run (just didn’t have 5 in me) (800 calories)
Friday: 45 mins arc trainer (600 calories)
Saturday: 12 mile bike ride, 40 mins arc trainer (900 calories)
Sunday: off

This week will really depend on how crazy work is, and how tired I am, but here is the plan.

Monday: 4 mile run (500)
Tuesday: DDR or arc trainer and weights (450-ish)
Wednesday: 12 mile ride and 5k run (800)
Thursday: off
Friday: 45 mins running speedwork (600)
Saturday: 25 mile bike ride (800)
Sunday: off

More running, a nice long bike ride, less arc trainer, and while I’d like to fit 2 weights sessions in there, I just don’t think I have time.  So it is what it is.

I’m just realizing that something has to give for now.  I had hoped to blog a little more frequently, and I even have a really burning post in my head as a mid-year wrap up (as it is now WELL past July 1st), but every time I go to write anything but these weekly wrap ups, I just can’t do it.  While I’m still obviously making strides to make sure I’m eating healthy/enough/not too much, and still definitely working out more than the average bear, I just don’t have the mindshare and give-a-crap to track and be neurotic about it.

Tomorrow is one month away from the scale, and I think that I’m going to continue on at least one more week.  I’m all worked up enough with everything else going on to freak out about my weight.  My pants still fit fine, I know I’m not doing too bad, so I’ll find out later this week or next week when I feel like I *could* handle it if I have gained a few.  I have really liked not worrying about the number.  I think I’ll continue monthly weigh ins unless I find I’ve gained.

Alrighty, going to get up and be productive.  It will be a good week.  No deserts, bigger lunches/smaller dinners, and staying sane and trying to figure out how to get my life under control.  Looking forward to hiring minions to delegate some of this stuff to at work, and perhaps its time to consider doing the same at home (maid service – next on the money list once we get caught up right after “nicer gym”).  Question of the week: what one thing would you hire someone to do if you could either professionally or personally?

There is really no place like home.  It wasn’t always that way.  As a kid, the last day of vacation was always so sad to me.  I’d have to be dragged kicking and screaming from the pool the last day.  People at summer camp would get homesick, and I never understood that, I’d just get sad the last day when everyone else got excited to go home.  It’s not that home was bad at all, it’s just that I loved different.  I loved new experiences.  I loved having a break from the norm.  If I would have caught a break to do it earlier in life, I might have easily taken a job with tons of traveling and been happy as a clam.

However, that train left the station years ago.  It took the left track and I took the right, and now I loathe being away for too long from my leezards, my couch, my bed, my kitchen… my house in general.  If I have to take a trip without my Zliten, forget about it.  I’m counting the hours until my plane lands. It’s sick and sappy and perhaps pukeworthy, but it’s almost pointless to go away without him unless I have to, because I barely enjoy it, even after 11 years of being together.

The last few years, it’s also a desire to be back into a routine.  I come back from vacation craving veggies like an addict in rehab, and after shaking off the tireds, enjoy resuming the hardcore workouts.  This time I did definitely keep up the activity the two days we weren’t driving all day, but usually it’s just a lot of walking.  And since I follow the ethos of letting go on vacation, it usually just barely (if at all) makes up for the revelry and merriment.  I’m ok with that because we go away a few times a year, and it really hits home how good I feel when I eat healthy.  Seriously – when I get grumpy because I can’t let go and eat anything I want, I remember how I feel after a few days on vacation.  It’s worth it, but I am always so happy to be back to healthy food.

So to tally up all the so bad/so good things I remember eating, there was pizza, homemade waffles, fries, a bowl of frosted flakes, oreo cookie frozen custard, movie theatre nachos (complete with the fake orange “cheese food” that is so low quality it tastes like plastic but even still has a soft spot in my heart), a few types of wedding cake, crackers and dip, and much more.  Not to mention for-reals moonshine, dequiris, beer, and copius amounts of whiskey.  Against that, I ran 3 miles, ellipticaled 2 miles, did 20 mins weights, swam over half a mile, and walked about 7 miles total.  On the way there and back I stuck to subway because damned if I was going to splurge calories on fast food nastiness.  So, it wasn’t all bad.

It was totally worth it to see my two great friends get married.  They both looked awesome, everything about the wedding was country and adorable and just felt like it was done up with love.  They both lost it multiple times during the ceremony and it was just fantastic.  Not to mention the “nuptial picnic” after out in the middle of nowhere.  There was a taco buffet, lots of homemade appetizers, a daquiri machine and kegs of beer, five different types of wedding cake.  We played bingo (and won an inflatable monkey and some other prizes cuz we were lucky!) and watched kids light off hours worth of fireworks (no one even lost any limbs or had to be rushed to the hospital), drunk Elvis came out, we drank moonshine, and I convinced the groom to do a kegstand.  By doing a kegstand myself.  Don’t judge.  Do notice the good form, my gymnastics coaches would be proud.

This week, it’s back to the grindstone.  Monday was a too big breakfast (two plates of fruit, half a bagel, a piece of peanut butter and honey toast), subway turkey, and then veggies and fiber pasta w/chicken and spicy sauce for dinner, so fairly healthy, but I did have some sweets in there.  As of yesterday, I’ve actually decided to do a mini sugar detox – no deserts for as long as I can stand it.  I had a fortune cookie, but that totally doesn’t count.  After dinner I had a bunch of frozen fruit instead of a random sweet, so it’s off to a good start.

I’m almost considering putting off weighing one more week – I’m not entirely sure I want to know what I weigh 6 days from now.  We shall see. Last week by the numbers is pretty much useless, but I’ll list out my workouts.

Monday: 6.75 miles running (725 calories burnt)
Tuesday: Arc trainer for 30 mins, 45 mins weights (600 calories burnt)
Wednesday: 12 mile bike ride, 5 mile run (1075 calories burnt)
Thursday: off (packing)
Friday: off (driving)
Saturday: 3 mile run, 2 miles eliptical, 800m swim, 20 mins weights, 1 mile walk (1200 calories burnt)
Sunday: 5.75 mile walking (500 calories burnt)

4100 calories burnt.  585 on average per day.  Considering I rolled at a significant deficit the first 4 days of the week, I’d have had to done like 3500 calories per day on vacay to really and truly gain weight.  I might have gotten close one day, but not all of them.  So I’ll say – that’ll do pig, that’ll do.

Here’s the plan for this week, which is already underway…

Monday: off (driving)
Tuesday: Arc trainer for 45 (600 calories)
Wednesday: 12 mile bike ride, 5 mile run (1075 calories)
Thursday: weights + somesortacardio for about 30 mins (500 calories)
Friday: run of some sorta TBD (10k, sprints, hills)  (500-750 calories)
Saturday: weights, walking adventure (600-1o million  calories)
Sunday: off or something mellow-active like a bike ride or walk or some such (who knows)

Kind of a TBD week.  I felt really super exhausted yesterday after work and almost took a rest day, but a mellow workout did me right, I do believe.  Today, I have crazy planned, but if I’m still not feeling 100% I might ratchet down to just mildly insane.  It’s going to be a hard week at work, and I’ve got lots to do at home, so we shall see.

Hope you all had a great 4th…or may the 4th be with you? 🙂

Two weeks into this whole forced “no weigh” thing and I sort of feel like… this is how it should be.  I had initially thought that I would commit to weighing every day once I got to my goal weight, but that was assuming I got to my goal weight, and it wasn’t the last 10 lbs driving me insane.  We’ll see how I feel in two weeks when I get on the scale again.  If it’s 161 I think I may tear my hair out but I have high hopes.

Honestly, don’t have all that much to say this week, I’ve been all wakeup, work, workout, dinner, and then like an hour of internet/relax and then bed.  Some weeks, I am boring.  And that’s ok.  I even decided I was too lame to hit the midnight showing of Avatar tomorrow, but the idea of 3am bed Wednesday, then up for 10am at work Thursday, workout, home at like 8:30, then packing and up for 5am to drive?  No thanks.  Especially because the work part of it is going to be a damn tough day trying to finish up everything scheduley-like a day early.

Last Week’s Numbers:

Monday: 1895 calories in, 40 mins eliptical (500 calories out) = 1395 calories
Tuesday: 1683 calories in, 12 mile bike ride, 4 mile run (950 calories) = 733 calories
Wednesday: 1571 calories in, 45 mins weights (200 calories) = 1371 calories
Thursday: 1888 calories in, 45 mins biking (500 calories) = 1333 calories
Friday: 1443 calories in, rest day = 1443 calories
Saturday: 2008 calories in, 4.65 miles of intervals (.25 mile sprint, .25 recovery, rinse and repeat)(500 calories) = 1508 calories
Sunday: 1522 calories in, rest day = 1522

Avg cals in per day: 1712

Avg cals out per day: 378

Avg net per day: 1333

Avg deficit per day: 478, or just under 1 lb loss per week.  Dailyburn seems to agree and has me around 3.7 lbs loss per month.  It’s week 3 of not weighing and honestly?  Still pretty much loving it though I am sure curious.  I would guess I was around 159 this morning?

This week’s plan:

Monday: 10k run (750 calories)
Tuesday: cybil and weights (700 calories)
Wednesday: 10 mile bike, 5 mile run (700 calories)
Thursday: 12 mile bike and weights (600 calories)
Saturday: 1/2 mile swim, 12 mile bike, 5k run (900 calories)

I will be traveling all day Friday so while I’m sure I’ll be bouncing off the walls after 11+ hours in the car, I doubt I’ll have time to do anything.  Saturday, we’re attending a wedding in the afternoon…but am SO excited to make use of the hotel pool and workout facilities to do a full sprint tri in the morning before.  Am I insane or what?  Sunday we have plans to rock an amusement park so I’m figuring a few miles of walking, and then Monday 11+ hours in the car again. Before that, I’m just trying to pack in all the work and workouts and uh…packing I need to do before I leave.

Most lame post ever?  Definitely in contention.  It happens.  Brain is already on vacation.  Question of the week – what do you have planned for the 4th?  Fireworks?  Veggie burgers on the grill?  Water balloon fights?  Inquiring minds want to know…

Halfassed 5 things Friday back because my brain is friiiiiied, yo.

1.  One of the things that comes along with my promotion is I get to hire my own associate.  I am getting a kick out of this, probably more than I should.  We don’t have any internal candidates yet, and the external ones – frankly – are kind of intimidating.  Two have game project management experience since I was a freshman in college, and one has industry experience back to when I was 6.  I mean, I was a precocious child and had my multiplication tables down and was reading chapter books and all, while this person was managing projects.  They didn’t go that far back, but it’s entirely possible they were pushing pixels when I was learning how to poo poo potty.  And these people are applying to be my assistant.  I love it, but I wonder how I’d feel working for someone younger than me.

2.  Last night Zliten and I stayed up talking work until 2am with a little booze.  It felt good.  We used to do it all the time, and now we get to again!  You think working for the same place would mean less to talk about, but it’s not the case at all!  I’m sure it’s all honeymoon phase for both of us, but it feels really good to not have to vent vent vent but actually rave rave rave and bounce ideas off each other.

3.  Tonight has been a week of needing a lot of sleep.  I have dubbed myself sleepy sleep bot.  I didn’t do any morning workouts until Thursday (50 mins of biking) and I slept about 9 hours a night except last night.  My body just needed lots of rest.  The dudette abides.  Tomorrow is a very active day though – doing a 10k in the morning (outside hopefully) and some weights, and then it’s company picnic time!  Totally looking forward to an awesome day…

4.  I might be having trouble taking off weight, but Zliten decided to hop on the scale after about a month of trying to be good, and he is down 4 lbs!  Go Zliten.  We’re both at about the “I wanna lose 10 lbs” stages right now so it’s nice to see at least one of us succeeding!  Two more weeks and I get to check out my progress… not weighing for a month is hard but I think it’s been good for me.

5.  I honestly can’t think of anything else to report.  So I will make this #5 ask the audience random question happy fun time.  Would you ever work with your significant other?  Ever had to work with a weird situation?  Any awesome accomplishments this week fitness, work, life, or otherwise?  Ever feel just super tired for no reason?

Have a wonderful weekend peoples!  More substance next week, I promise.  Sorta.  If I can. 🙂

It’s weird – ya know – most weeks I am dreading the Monday routine of “gingerly-putting-my toe-on-the-scale” and hoping and praying for a nice number thing.  This week, I kind of miss it.  I mean, it was not going to be good news at all.  A bachelorette party.  Dad’s day Italian food.  Celebrating my promotion unexpectedly on Friday.  These things a good weigh in does not make.  On top of it, yesterday begin that most wonderful time of the month when I want to curl up into a little ball and simultaneously curse mother nature for the inherent womanly design flaws and thank the stars for the fact for once again proving to me that I can go one more month doing nothing more motherly and responsible than trying not to kill our houseplants and hoping our iguana doesn’t get into anything too poisonous on the floor with her adventures.  So even if magic was worked somehow with the weekend crazy, that would have sent me into a fit of rage, chocolate, and piles of cow.

However, I am pretty proud of Saturday.  Between a 25 mile bike ride, a 3.1 mile run, and approximately 2 hours of constant dancing that night (if not more), dailyburn.com estimates me at 2150 calories burnt.  In my generous estimation of consumables – I think I was at 2500, tops.  Daily burn wanted me to consume about 3500-3700 calories that day to be in the weight loss range.  Oops.  Makes sense why I was in no mood to swim the next day and have been kind of exhausted since.  Above was the beginning of the night – here’s the end…

Wheeee!  I should be freaking out that I haven’t swam much, but honestly?  Eh.  I can do the sprint bike and run distance in my sleep.  I did twice the bike distance and the full 5k on Saturday hung over and tired.  I’ve done 1.5 times the swim distance in the pool without being worse for wear.  I think the sprint distance shouldn’t be an issue.

Also, we plan to switch gyms sometime next month.  So I’ll be able to swim every day if I please.  I can do some swim training cram sessions.  Considering I’m about 2 months from the sprint tri and 3 from the olympic… I think I should be ok.  Also, is it weird that I’m a little sad to leave my old gym?  I mean, it’s bare bones and smells like sweat and grossness sometimes, and I’m sort of a minority there because I’m white, and machines are out of order sometimes, but it’s MY ghetto gym.  I know it’s because I always do this with places (apartments, jobs, anything that I can call MY place to live, work, be, etc), but you think it would be onward and upward.  Sigh.  Oh well.

This week is looking pretty mellow to last week’s crazy.  At least socially.  Work is ALWAYS crazy.  It’s good, because I am kind of exhausted from 3 days of celebration.  I was dragging ass through yesterday and though my workout went well, I sort of wanted to curl up and die for most of the day.  Today, I’m about at 80% and hoping one more good night of sleep will fix me up proper.   Our ONLY plans this weekend is our work picnic celebrating 10 million registered (yeah – I’m pretty proud of us too), and I think I’m ok with that.  Think I might pull back the crazy workouts too and make this sort of a recovery week.  I need to do at least a 10k sometime since it was a little harder than it should have been, but dial back the bike miles a bit.

Anyhoo, here is last week by the numbers:

Monday: 1604 in – 466 out (DDR and weights) = 1138

Tuesday: 1851 in – 680 out (10k run) = 1171

Wednesday: 1499 in – 546 out (20 mins bike, 20 mins arc trainer) = 953

Thursday: 1496 in – 767 out (1 hour weights, 40 min bike) = 729 (oops)

Friday: 1784 in – 0 out = 1784

Saturday: 2500 in – 2135 out (25mi bike, 5k run, 2 hours dancing) = 350 (super oops)

Sunday: 1525 in – 0 out = 1525

Avg calories in per day: 1751

Avg calories out per day: 656

Avg net calories per day: 1094

Avg deficit per day: 718, or about 1.5 lbs.  We’ll see.  Dailyburn doesn’t even think so because of the crazy deficits some days and overages others.  Good thing I’m not weighing!

So this week, my devious plan:

Monday: cybil for 40 mins (500 cals), ate 1895 calories

Tuesday: bike 12 miles, run 4 miles (800 calories), eat about 1800 calories.

Wednesday: morning bike ride (300), eat about 1500 calories

Thursday: weights (200), eat about 1500 calories

Friday: 10k run (700 calories), eat about 1800 calories

Saturday: 12 mile bike ride and weights (600 calories), eat about 2000.

Sunday: off and eat 1500 or active adventure somewhere and eat more.

That’s about it for this week.  Wishing the weather would have cooperated for more lovely afternoon bike rides and bike commutes but high 90’s with a heat index of every day above 100?  Think I’ll save the heatstroke for others. 😛  How’s your weather this week?  What do you have planned?

…and just for making it to the end, I will reward you (or punish you) with this gem.  Oh oh oh oh!