Adjusted Reality

“Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.” – Mark Twain

Tag: navel gazing Page 27 of 29

On Fitting an Elephant in a Teacup

Life feels a lot like this lately.  Sometimes I miss being so megamaniacally (my made up word, deal) focused on ONE BIG THING because it was easy to ignore all those awesome and time consuming possibilities on the horizon.  All that mattered in my life was my Zliten, and work.  Everything else was completely trivial.  If I didn’t get groceries one week, we just got takeout.  We rarely got invited out and we weren’t generally expected to show up.  Hobbies?  I listed them on my resume as playing games (usually testing out what I was working on), swimming (I would occasionally walk downstairs and jump in the pool to cool off), web design and art (it had been YEARS), anime and sci fi (watching while working).  My friends, I was a 4.0 student that had no extracurricular activities.

Now, my life is completely different.  I’m like that kid with the middling GPA that doesn’t try very hard in class but gets by, but is president of the glee club, in student council, plays on the soccer team, and also knits afghans for the homeless in quilt club.  For example, this week, I have just about every hour outside work mapped out.  Yesterday was catching up on my novel, dinner, and cleaning the bedroom.  It was naaaaasty (said like Clevland).  Today I ran and shredded before work, now work, lunch out, work, obtain groceries for party food, novel, then bed.  The rest of the week doesn’t get much better.  It’s all pretty much diet hell as well unless I remain a pillar of motivation and stability.   This last week was my reprieve, and I did alright.  This week, it’s on like donkey kong.  Battle Royale of Quix vs Too Much Food And Booze.

I always spend some time self negotiating here.  The fight between lazy self and truthy self.  “Why not quit NaNoWriMo?” says lazy.  “It’s a busy month and it’s your first time trying.  You’ve got a good start.  Give yourself six months and see if you can get it done by then.”

Then, truthiness self steps up.  “No!  You always say you want to be a writer.  If you give this up, you know you’ll lose steam and it will be just one more failed manuscript.  It’s one month.  It’s 50,000 words.  You blog about half that in a month.  Suck it up, buttercup!”

Truthiness self is totally right and lazy pouts.

“Well, then something’s gotta give, right?”  Lazy says.  “Maybe I should just cut down the exercising.  I’ve done 3 weeks of shredding, that’s enough right?”

Truthiness self pounds her fist down on the proverbial table.  “Ok, let’s stop when you’re finally having the first results you’ve seen in months.  And let’s not even begin to entertain the thought of letting go of your eating.”

“But-” Lazy protests.  Stupid mind reading truthiness self.

“Hey – you know as well as I do.  It takes no extra time to control your portions and choose healthy things from the menu.   No excuse.”

Lazy is totally pouting here.  This could have been her excuse to order some really awesome greaseball food at the company event on Wednesday, the outing Friday, and completely go crazy Saturday night at the party.  “Who would blame me?  I’m totally busy this week.  Busy people eat junk food, right?”

Truthy rolls her eyes at Lazy.  “Other busy people eat junk food.  YOU are better than that.  YOU know that all that noise is comfort eating.  YOU know your body feels better when you don’t consume junk.”

Lazy grumbles.  “Fine, I give.  So what’s the deal.  What do I do?”

Truthy gets a little too close (come on, personal space, self!) and looks Lazy in the eyes.  “Like I said, suck it up, buttercup.  You want to write this novel.  You want to lose this weight.  You want to maintain this fitness.  You planned this party this weekend.  These are all things you want to do.  WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT THE ABUNDANCE OF AWESOME THINGS GOING ON THIS WEEK?”

Lazy wipes this spit off her face.  Truthy is a little enthusiastic sometimes.  “You are so right.  I just need to get on with myself and do it.”

Truthy smiles and pats Lazy on the butt.  “Good kid.  Now get out there.”  Not entirely sure why my hard ass self is trying to do an impression of my middle school gym teacher, but there you go.  Welcome to my head.

What I need to remember is that there is never a goddamn good time to do anything.  When I started doing this healthy living thing, I was surrounded by people (minus the Zliten who was trying to do it with me) that were either ambivalent, skeptical, or unsupportive.  I cannot think of a good time in the last 3 years to have written a novel.  I can’t think of a month that hasn’t been a whole lot of crazy.  Last spring was not a particularly good time to start training for a half marathon.  In fact, heat training sucked.  I never got surrounded by this healthy living bubble that made it all easy.  This morning I was accosted by a cupcake the size of one my shrunken buttcheeks in the break room, but I didn’t give in.

Things may have been simpler then when I only cared about one thing, but when I took the blinders off and saw the rest of my life in ruination, I knew that I had to bring back some balance, some harmony, some remedy to all-work-and-no-play makes Quix a fat evil genius-wannabe.  Between discovering that there was indeed life outside of work and shedding approximately one petite human being from my physical mass, the blinders were way off and my head was up in the clouds, dreaming about all these new awesome things I could do.

I’m good at the dreaming.  What I need practice at is the doing.  It’s easy to make excuses that life is too busy, and you’ll wait for a better time to start working out, start that novel, start cooking dinner instead of getting take out, take a clogging class, etc.  I’m here to tell you now – your life is not going to get any easier.  Unless you have extreme circumstances (aka, you work crazy hours for 3 months and then have 3 months off, or something similar), there is NO GOOD TIME to start something.  You just need to decide to grab time by the huevos, look it squarely in the eyes, and tell it that you’re going to be watching it closely, making sure that it doesn’t slip away.

So there you have it.  I am going to make it through this crazy busy week, my writing is not going to suffer, my workouts are not going to suffer, and I am going to make the healthiest choices I can out and about this week.  I am not going to sacrifice sleep, and I am not going to get stressed about it.  There are 24 usable hours in each day, I just need to make the most of the waking ones for the time being.

On Growing Up, and Things To Be When You Do…

Let it not be said that I am unhappy with my station in life.  I’m not rich, but I am comfortable.  I don’t quite make enough to be the sole breadwinner in the household – but with a smaller mortgage (aka NOT buying a 4 bedroom house in the exact neighborhood we wanted) and less of a car payment (hello, hybrid luxury car), I could probably make a stab at it.  I have the possibility and experience in the next few years to get a title and salary bump that makes sense (taking the Associate out of my title, or as I like to say – removing the Ass from my Prod), and frankly, which I think I deserve with the time I’ve put in.

However, I’m seeing game studios collapse around me left and right.  We are actually doing really freaking well in the midst of the chaos, but a year from now… who knows?  It’s really hit me lately that beyond project management and game design, I have very few marketable skills.  What happens if the well dries up here in Austin and moves on, and I don’t want to move on with it?  I love living here.  It is PERFECT for me.  Cost of living affords me a mortgage and not a rent check each month, unlike other hot spots like So Cal.  The weather here really jives with me.  I don’t think I could do somewhere rainy like Seattle or cold like the Boston area.  I feel at home here like I never have in a place before – the people are quirky and awesome and friendly, it’s not weird to be active, and there is always cool stuff going on and it’s not like you have to be a cool kid to know about it.

So what’s a gal to do?  I’ve been thinking about this for a while.  If I want to stay here, what is my backup plan?  It’s entirely possible I’m worried about nothing but… I always am thinking, “what’s next”.  Some people’s jobs make sense as a freelancer/online.  Outsourced art and programming (to a lesser extent) is common in the games industry – design and production aren’t and those are my specialties.  While I enjoy project management for a fun industry like gaming, I have my doubts about moving into something more mundane like software development or a pants factory or whatnot.  If I’m not having fun, it will not work for me.  Whatever I spend 40 hours or more doing has to at least make me feel proud/interested in the product.  So… what else am I interested in to the point where I could envision myself doing them full time?

Writing.  If I could make a living doing it, I would LOVE to write full time.  I wasn’t sure if I could write on a schedule but coming up with something 3-4 times per week for the last year and some change (minus a couple weeks of crazy) has proven to me that I can indeed be self motivated and produce semi-coherent diatribe on topics that interest me.  The next step for me gaining confidence here is plunging into NaNoWriMo.  If I can get at least a crappy novel under my belt, I can evaluate whether I could consider doing this for a living.  I feel the same way about it as I do a marathon.  I just want to go the distance at least once to see if it’s for me.

Film/TV production.  I think it would be a natural step, and Austin is becoming a mini-Hollywood as of late.  It’s always something I’ve been interested in and I’m starting to have the contacts to at least consider the move.  But it would probably be more of the same (crazy hours, stress, waiting around for things to happen, etc).

Then Zliten went and got me thinking last night… he was talking about doing the 30 minute workout circuit at Planet Fitness and then was trying to get out of it by saying he just wanted to come home.  I made him a circuit that was just evil enough but not too crazy evil and he swore at me when he finished but looked like he had gotten a good workout.  I’m always trying to tweak my workouts and food intake/ratios/etc.  I’m horribly interested in what other people eat.  I always feel like if I knew more, I’d be more successful at maneuvering through this healthy living thing, and I’ve pretty much exhausted the internet.  Sure, occasionally, I happen upon something new, but usually, I find myself going – “Duh.  Thanks captain obvious.”  And then realize that to 99.9% of the world is not as bored as I has not had the time, attention, nor want for looking this up.  As I have.  And I want more.

I find myself now tentatively pondering about thinking about perhaps sticking my toe into the waters of academia again.  Previously I’ve been very anti-school because my thesis ruined school for me and I’ve said for the greater part of a decade I was done with it forever.  Maybe not.  I also said I’d never wear bell bottoms and I rocked them yesterday.

The idea of going back to school at age 30, with a full time job, with other extra curricular pursuits (hi 2 u training for a marathon) is pretty damn daunting.  The starting salaries of either a dietitian or a personal trainer don’t look promising.  I would be taking a pay cut fo’ sho unless somehow my management skillz could get me into a supervisory job.  The idea of actually having to recruit clients seems daunting as well.  It’s most likely that this is NOT the job for me.

But the idea of something that could possibly done online or freelance sounds awesome.  It frustrates me to no end having to show up for work some days when I don’t have a full day of work to do, and just sit here and wait because we are required to at least put in our 8 hours.  And it’s possible that there may be a time in my life where a full time 40 hour a week job is not a viable option.  I’ve done the traditional “go to work, do my time, get a paycheck, and go home” thing all my life.  I’d at least like to see how the other half lives before I run screaming back into a position of stability, comfort, and regularity.

I think the first step (after I’m done with NaNoWriMo, of course, I’m already hearing the, “are you done writing YET?  There are THINGS to DO…” voices from the peanut gallery) is to maybe check out some coursework books on nutrition and training.  Give them a read.  See if it’s anything I want to learn about.  Go from there.  The local U has degree programs in just about anything nutrition/fitness/exercise/training/etc I want to pursue so I’ve got that going for me.

I always thought I was going to keep climbing my way up.  First take over a game.  Then take over a department.  Then – who knew, maybe run my own company some day.  Now, it’s entirely possible I might get bitten by the draw of being an exec again, but I’m toying with the idea that maybe the ladder isn’t where I’ll be the happiest.  Maybe it is.  I just don’t know anymore.  I’m sure this is just me being a little unenthused with my current task at work and day dreaming.  But maybe it’s more than that.

I know some of you out there at least do/have done side jobs writing, training, maybe there’s even a dietician or someone that’s worked with film/tv/broadcast stuff out there.  Talk to me.  Did you leave your cushy corporate job for it?  Did you regret it at all?  Is there any way in hell to make a decent salary at it (think mid to upper 5 figures +)?  How was the schooling?  Did you go for a degree or certifications?  What did you exactly do when you became gainfully employed?  What did you love and hate about it?  If not – what is your dream job?  What steps are you taking to get there?  How did you know what you were doing was right for you?

Don’t worry – I’ll get back to my regularly scheduled bitchfest in no time about the scale not budging and screwing up over the weekend and how Jillian can go eat a… um… carrot for the torture she hath brought upon us in Level 3.

More demotivational fun here!

This Is How I Do It…

I was stuck for a post today, so here is a random idea of something that may or may not be interesting that popped into my brain.  I am fascinated by the way other people deal with, shop, cook, eat, think about, and otherwise act around food, so I figured I’d share how I roll with my food habits day by day for a typical week.

Saturday/Sunday morning:

Our food supplies are starting to get picked over.  The easy stuff to make and/or the stuff we were really looking forward to has already been used up for the week, so it’s time to make a list.  I plan out the lunches and dinners we’re going to have for the week, considering our schedules, and assign them to days.  I try not to plan the same things for two days in a row (though it happens), I try not to plan the same meat two times in a row, and I try to make sure that Zliten is on board with the plan or it fails.  Once that’s done, I come up with an ingredient list, and add anything else we need to the list (breakfasts, snacks, sodas, etc) and email it off to both my phone and Zliten’s phone so we have it for reference.

Buffalo Chicken Salad

Buffalo Chicken Salad

Sunday:

It’s grocery shopping day!  I *try* to get out by 9:30-10am so I can get most of it done while all the good folk are at church and the store is less crowded, but it doesn’t always work.  First, I stop at the local, organic, hippie-dippie grocery store which is closest to my house.  I get almost all my produce there, and other odds and ends.  A lot of their canned and packaged goods are more expensive, but totally better quality, so I’ve stopped shying away from paying more there for it.   Unless it’s ridiculous, like paying 4 bucks for a bag of frozen broccoli instead of a dollar or so for the regular grocery store kind.  As I find everything, I mark it off the list on my phone.  I have reusable bags in my car, but I often forget them.

Then I head to the larger, chain grocery store.   This is where I pick up whatever I couldn’t find there – which usually involves lettuce and fruit (for some reason, lettuce and fruit both SUCK at the hippie place), frozen veggies, sodas, and anything I don’t want the super organic version of (like hot dogs/buns/frozen lasagna/etc).  Oddly enough, I always end up spending more at the regular store even though I swear I buy less there.

Then, I head home and unpack the car, clean out the fridge (if things are starting to grow and/or I need the room), and put away the groceries.  Oh, and Zliten has usually cleaned the kitchen and has dishes going by then.  BTW – Zliten does NOT go grocery shopping with me.  He is like a kid in a candy store and is very grabby – not that all of it is unhealthy, but we’ll come home with 3 different types of hot sauce and odd cans of beans and about 40 bucks of other things that aren’t on the list.  I deviate too, but not NEARLY as much and usually when I remember things I needed that I forgot to list.  Anyhoo, usually by that time we’re so hungry, we end up going out to lunch, heh.  This Sunday, we went to a new little mexican place and it was yummy.  I had a few too many chips, an enchilada, half a flauta, and the toppings of a tostada.

Sunday night though is usually a cook-y night.  There is usually something I’ve purchased from the store that takes a little more prep time than I’d like for a weekday meal or something super healthy because we splurged for lunch.  This week, we had made whole wheat spaghetti with a little bit of super low fat ground beef and meat sauce with tons of veggies because of the latter.  Zliten cooked while I wrote and it was awesome.

Filet mignon, taterflowers (half cauliflower/half potatoes), and asparagus

Filet mignon, taterflowers (half cauliflower/half potatoes), and asparagus

Monday:

Zliten gets fed free breakfast at work so I don’t worry about him (seriously, they cater whole foods breakfast every day for the entire company… so jealous), but he was nice enough to put the beef stew ingredients in the crock pot before he left for work.  I’ve been on a bar kick lately so I alternate between a pro-max bar or a zone bar (both about 15-20g protien, a little fiber, and 180-200 cal).  This perks me up after a workout and keeps me full until lunch.

Around 1pm we both head home for lunch together (he works 1.5 miles away, I work 3 miles away – love it).  On this occasion, we made black bean burgers, which I stuck into pitas and he put into tacos.  I added a little low fat sour cream, salsa, low fat cheese, lettuce, olives, and onions and chowed down on 2 pita pocket halves.

Around 4pm I broke out my half pint of raspberries and ate the whole damn thing.  Because they were just so good.  An hour later, I grabbed a handful of pistachios and enjoyed those too.

Got home around 7 and the beef stew was smelling *ohsogood* in the crockpot.  I tried to stave off the urge to dig in early since Zliten wasn’t home yet from the gym with some turkey pepperoni (I could tell I needed some protein as I hadn’t had meat for lunch), but I gave in and had an appetizer sized bowl of it.  When he got home we ate about 1/3 of the crockpot each and saved the rest.  Later, since I had the calories, I indulged in about 100 calories of halloween candy.

Italian Veggie Pasta Salad

Italian Veggie Pasta Salad

Typical Weekdays:

Pretty much the same as Monday.  If I’m skipping lunch, I’ll usually have a builder bar with more protein and calories for breakfast and either a soup and salad or Amy’s Indian meal for lunch.  I always try to have a piece of fruit in the afternoon, but sometimes I’ll do veggie and hummus instead of nuts or sometimes if I’m having a caloric day I’ll skip it altogether.  Typical lunches are sandwiches, leftovers from dinner, soup and a salad, garden burgers/hot dogs, and in a pinch microwave meals.  Sometimes the salad bar if we really don’t feel like making lunch.

For dinners, we typically cook unless it’s a rare night out somewhere.  This week, on the menu is chicken curry with veggies and saffron rice, grilled fish tacos, shepard’s pie (96/4 ground beef, mixed veggies and tomato sauce smothered with a thin layer of mashed potatoes and light cheese), and tuna veggie pasta (essentially a tuna helper with double protein and a heaping helping of frozen veggies.

Usually before dinners I’ll have a small healthy snack like jerky or turkey pepperoni (it’s a habit I’m trying to break, I just get home and it hits me how STARVING I am).  Usually after dinner I’ll have a sweet of some sort (another habit I’d like to break, but it’s usually something of very little caloric impact if not something healthy like fruit).  Very occasionally, instead of a bigger dinner and a sweet, I’ll have smaller food and few drinks.

Fridays:

These are a different animal.  I’ll usually make sure to have a zone bar or something lighter because lunch is earlier (around 12:30).   We go to pho, which is vietnamese noodle soup.  It’s about 400 calories and amazingly awesome.  I usually try to resist the egg rolls but about once every other month I’ll splurge and have one.  I usually try to go light on snacks because we typically come home and either get somewhat healthy takeout, eat something quick, or fire up the BBQ and have some cocktails.  This week I plan to take it mellow and stay in, but then again last week I was out and about being a party animal.  So it varies.

Saturday:

We wake up and almost invariably go out to lunch even if I have weekend food planned.  Now with Zliten working overtime not as much (if it’s just me I generally poke around and just find something to eat in the house), but generally we don’t want to be buggered cooking anything major.  Saturday night totally depends – if there is something on the menu we are still looking forward to and we don’t have plans, we eat.  If we’re looking for a quick meal before going out, we usually scrounge.  If we don’t have major plans, we might head out to dinner somewhere or get takeout.

Rinse, and repeat.

How do you plan out your weeks?  Do you fly by the seat of your pants?  Batch cook everything on the weekend?  Do you make a menu or do you just eat what you feel like each day?  Like I said, I am totally curious about other people and food so comment away!

Pictures are foods we cooked over the summer…

Once Upon a Time in Reno…

(yes, I’m going to give the neuroticism a break today – enjoy!  Please also ignore any funky formatting and pretend it’s just *artsy*.   Yeah, that’s it…)

…there was a boy named Zliten and a girl named Quix.  They both worked at the “other mall” in town for after school jobs their junior years in high school.  Quix worked at Hot

High School Senior Quix

High School Senior Quix

Topic.  Zliten worked at Sweet Factory.  These stores were right across from each other.  Zliten liked the crazy clothes and rebellious items in Hot Topic, so he was often in the store browsing and purchasing the wares.  Quix had to get her candy fix occasionally, so she could be found in Sweet Factory getting a few sour ropes or some sour balls (I guess that shows what a sour girl she was).

After running into each other, Zliten found another reason to go into Hot Topic – to blush at the silly girl with the dark hair in the leather pants and try to make awkward conversation.  Being that this silly boy, beyond being a little socially awkward, also was sporting a bit of a mullet, she would try to avoid him (and send other coworkers over if she needed a candy fix).  He was relentless, but she was probably the most stubborn person you would ever know.  One night at a party,

High School Zliten

High School Zliten

she fixed him up with one of her best friends and they started dating.  Then, a few months later, she started dating the dreamy looking guy at the Orange Julius stand.

None of her friends or family liked this guy, but being the stubborn girl Quix was, she stayed with him, on and off, for about 3 dysfunctional years.  Zliten and said friend went away to college together across the country, broke up a year later, and scattered.  Zliten came back to visit a few times to see his mom, but was living a few states away and liked it that way.  Quix dreamed of a guy who was awesome and romantic and wouldn’t treat her like poop and would sit out on her balcony and ask the stars if they would please please send to her someone like that.

Then one day, Quix was hanging out with said boy, then ex, trying to do the friends thing – by the way – which only seems to work with responsible, patient people. It happened to also be the day that Zliten called

College Zliten: or Heath Ledger, you decide.

College Zliten: or Heath Ledger, you decide.

my cell (gotta love the brick I had in 1999) letting me know he was in town for a few days and wanted to escape his dwelling for a bit if anything was going on.  Being not patient, nor responsible people, Quix and Jerky McLiarPants started screaming at each other not too long after, and she left all upset.  She just needed to talk to someone, and his number was the first on the list having called just a bit ago, and she invited him to coffee.

It just so happened that Quix’s play was closing that night, and she was hosting the wrap party at her next door neighbor’s house (don’t ask).  She got him two tickets.  He

Sadly, the ONLY college Quix pic I have thats online.

Sadly, the ONLY college Quix pic I have that's online. That would be me with the whip.

brought a date, she was trying to catch the attention of the male lead that she had been crushing on ever since the play was cast – but the two ended up together.

Fast forward through all the college awkwardness, and we both picked up and moved to San Diego two weeks after I graduated.  Because it sounded like a neat place to live and it was anywhere but Reno.  Not because we had any prospective jobs or ways to make money.  But we found a little box, and got temp jobs testing video games after the credit cards ran out, and found out we were living in a great place to make a run of having that be our career, so we

Now we race together...

Now we race together...

figured that would be awesome.  Who wants to go back to graduate school and deal with academia politics when you can legally dream up ways to kill people (‘s avatars)?

Through that time, I was proposed to with onion rings and ring pops and the like.  There was never a question that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Zliten – but I always imagined *things* about getting married.  For some reason, I had the age “30” in my head.  And getting my own life together first – including having a job title I was proud of and – probably more importantly – I was not getting married fat.  Totally vain, I know.  I could be immortalized in time skinny and

...play together...

...play together...

poor and think “gee, glad I got that awesome job promotion the next year” and proudly hang the pictures up on the mantle.  If I was rich and fat, they’d just stay in a box somewhere.

I finally agreed to a promise ring, which slowly got too small as I got bigger.  Then, after things snapped into place in my head and I started project: deporkify and we had enough cash saved up to do the ring right, we finally got engaged.  We bought the ring on a cruise to Mexico in March 2007,  and then we surprised my mom by Zliten proposing at dinner that night.

I worked dilligently on losing weight and then last year, we finally set a date.  May 9th,

...travel together...

...travel together...

2009.  And then we kept changing our minds on what sort of wedding we wanted and didn’t set anything up in time, so then, we finally set another date last December.  October 4th, 2009.  And you’ve gotten to experience the frantic whirlwind since then.

So tomorrow, my dear Zliten and I, love of my life, king prince of silliness, hop on a jetplane with FOUR bags in tow (but hey – it all fits – YAY!) and a few days after that, we become Mr. and Mrs. Zliten.  After 10 years (almost exactly to the date of the play closing), 3 states, 7 apartments/houses, and a whole lot of fun times, we’re finally making it official.  Sure, I may not be at my “goal weight” and I

...wear hats together...

...wear hats together...

struggle with the fact that I could do more/be more and I’m stagnating at work, but the truth is, I’m not doing too badly.  And it’s not as if this is the best I’m ever going to be in my life, oh no – just try and stop me.   There are promotions to go after and races to run and get PRs and muscles to tone and all sorts of wonderful adventures yet to be discovered.  Just with another ring on my finger and my wonderful husband at my side.

Have a wonderful week, blogland.  I will be back with many pictures and stories to share.  Though I have been told that it is absolutely inappropriate to tweet at my wedding (lolz, getting married now bbiab, kthx?), feel free to follow me on twitter or friend me on facebook if you think it might be interesting to hear how Vegas is going, I tend to update those a lot on vacation.  Anyone want to share wedding day memories?  How did you meet your significant other?  Inquiring minds want to know…

...and will be getting married here together in just a few days.

...and will be getting married here together in just a few days.

Thingity Things of This Week

I don’t have that much to say but figured since Friday is a normal posty day, I should at least ramble about things and goings onses.

Running:

5k tomorrow!  I’m excited and a little nervous to see if I can get my 26 flat time or better, but I think I’m more excited as it’s Zliten’s first race!  Woohoo!  Never did I think I was going to get him to run with me but now he seems to quite like it.  Endorphins FTW!  I feel good and prepared – yesterday I went for a nice, easy run to keep my legs loose and I kept wanting to go fast.  That means the legs are rested.  Check.  This morning, I did a nice long yoga, and the plan tonight is relaxing, and more relaxing.  Checkity check.  Good race prep.

After the race, we are going to see my parents for a belated birthday lunch of BBQ.  Alliterations FTW!  Then, some shopping to procure makeup/hair/other stuff… it’s gonna be a busy and long day.  I may demand a nap!

Day 1 of project: unfluffy bride:

Well, my plan was to hit the top of my range today and that I did (going over by 10 calories).  My lunch was bigger than I would have liked, but I had a pretty light dinner to compensate and only ate my 2 pieces of fruit for snax rather than digging into the nuts or seeds or whatnot.

I’m seeing 2 problem areas.  One I rocked last night, one I didn’t.  My first “shoving things in my cakehole when I shouldn’t” time was right after I got home from work.  To put things in perspective – I had a 200 calorie breakfast, about a 650 calorie lunch, and about 100 calories in snacks, so I wasn’t starving in the least.  I then realized it had become a habit to eat out of the pantry when I got home.  I had the same issue after the run and before dinner.  The conversation with myself went something like:

Munchy self: “Mmm, I’m a bit peckish.  Let’s have a snack.  These baked cheese doodles look rather tasty.”

Self that wants to be unfluffy: “No!  Dinner is coming soon.  You just had fruit.  You are not going to faint dead if you don’t stuff your face.”

MS:  “But how about some veggies and hummus *cough*andpitachips*cough*.  That’s heatlhy, right?”

STWTBU: “NOT ON THE CALORIE PLAN!  STOP IT!”

MS: “Ok, then fine.  How about we go for the stir fry veggies leftover.   It’s veggies.  You can’t say no to veggies, right?”

STWTBU: “NO!  It’s the principal of things.  Today it’s veggies, tomorrow I’m back to the cheese doodles dipped in cheese spread (yes, I did it, and I won’t apologize, it was FUCKING YUMMY).”

MS: “We can eats it with our fingerses!  If you don’t use plates and utensils it has no calories…”

STWTBU: (almost believes it and has the tupperware open and then slams it shut) “Wait, NO!  That isn’t right.  I’m leaving the kitchen now…”

MS: *grumblegrumble* “Fine, we’ll discuss this later.”

I won the first round but lost the second.  We had a good friend over, and we happened to have his birthday cheesecake sitting in our fridge from another friend.  After a lovely, light, and healthy dinner, I cut them big slices and me a little slice.  Then it just looked too sad and little so I added another sliver (but it was still about half their size).  My Zliten went ahead and left half his cheesecake and when I took it in, MS won as I mowed down the rest of it.  Le sigh.

Regardless, I’m back on it and ready to fight another battle today.  The stats from yesterday:

1560 calories.  Only “notsogood” things eaten were a few tortilla chips at lunch and the cheesecake incident.  Everything else was totally on plan.

Did a slightly less than 3 mile run and full body weights.  My guesstimate is about 600 calories burnt.

Weighing in at 156.4 this morning.  Not great, but closer to being under my freak out weight than yesterday.

Hair and Makeup Adventures:

Well, I took the night off.  My face was feeling kinda dry and my hair kinda dirty and frizzy, and figure it wasn’t worth it.  I was going to try to do a look with more browns/coppers, but I actually don’t have a lipstick that goes with those tones, and while eyeshadow under chapstick works in a pinch, it wasn’t worth it.  I’m going to try again after I get my list o new stuff to play with.  I’m pretty confident with my makeup after this week, and I have two weeks to figure out the hair stuff and I’ve had LOTS of great advice!  Thanks so much!

I’m going out tomorrow with the intent of picking up the Got2B Smooth Operator Smoothing Luster Lotion, some bare minerals foundation/powder/concealer, and maybe some other fun and exciting stuff like mousse/gel/etc for volume.  Anyone have any opinions on diffusers vs just using a low setting on my dryer and cupping the hair in my hands?  I hate to spend the money on it because I rarely do my hair curly, but if it’s the one and only thing that’s going to make this work, I’ll spring for it.

Have a great weekend!  Wish me luck at the race and then with figuring out the ‘do.  Honestly, more nervous about the ‘do as there will be other races, but only ONE WEDDING.  Geez, I sound like such a girly girl there.  Ah, well.  I’ll be back Monday with results on both.  If you’d like to know more immediately, follow me on twitter or friend me on facebook (name is Leah Ruben, and I’m the one with the vintage gymnastics profile pic).

And I just have to end it on this…

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