Best of Week…Memoirs of a Workaholic

So, as this week is looking to be incredibly busy, I’m going to bust out some of the best, funny, or insightful things I wrote elsewhere over the last few years.  Enjoy!

I talk a lot about my workaholic days and I just recently backed up my LiveJournal and was sifting through entries and found some gems from some of my worst moments.  On one hand, I don’t even remember being that flavor of crazy anymore, and on the other hand, it’s like it was yesterday.  On one hand, I regret nothing and love my semi-balanced kinda life much more now, and on the other, I miss being so dedicated to something with every fibre of my being – I feel so… mundane now somehow.  For better or worse, here it is!

The first three excerpts were from super late nights, the fourth just made me laugh, and the fifth was pretty much an example of every time I traveled – I would book early morning flights and work all night the night before so I could keep caught up.

Thursday, July 21st, 2005
1:45 am
I’ve only been home from work for less that two hours…

I know I should go to bed but dammit I want some time to myself and for enjoyment. Gawd I’m going to hate myself tomorrow. Specially cause I have to do two interviews. I haven’t been on THIS side of it since I was 18. Its going to be weird. Hiring people, I’ve determined, sucks when you have a bunch of talented people that apply, and I’ll be glad when its over.

I shouldn’t have just poured myself my 4th drink. I should be in bed. I should be getting a jump on the very, very rushed day tomorrow if I am going to stay up. If anything, I should be working on the big document I’m supposed to be preparing. Instead I’m drinking. Way to be responsible woman!

I feel myself gaining more confidence. I feel it starting to click. I think that all this happened for a reason and will be ultimately awesome. But right now, I just want it all to go away for a few days, I want to play hookey and go swimming, play some fucking video games, see charlie and the chocolate factory, hit the pub until I’m throwing up outside, and veg on the couch and watch bad tv. Joel watched a WHOLE ANIME SERIES in the time that I’ve either been working late or working from home in the last week. I can count the hours on one hand that I’ve been awake in the last 7 days and not been working in some shape or form.

Is this wrong? Am I crazy? Is it coincidence that every time I just think “fuck it I’m done caring so much” something happens to light the fire under my ass to be megamanical Quix again to get through what I need to get through? Will it ever fall into a rhythm again? I joke so often lately about losing it, am I really going looney? Where does the fine line between batshit crazy and just motivated lie?

Fuck it. I’ll drink whiskey and smoke camels and be irresponsible tonight until I’ve had my fill and let red bull and tylenol be my savior tomorrow. I long for the weekend-full of the fulfillment of things accomplished and time for recreation. Not time stolen from sleep like tonight.

Thursday, December 7th, 2006
10:10 pm
Grrrrrrrrrrr
Just fucking grrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Think I’m going to skip the holiday party this year. Not in the mood to pretend I’m not completely stressed, burnt, and don’t want to go postal on everyone. I am not feeling it, open bar or not.

The one thing I really trusted someone else to do is completely fucked up, and I just found out literally an hour ago. I don’t know how it wasn’t caught, but it’s about a days worth of work, and its way to close to lauch to eat an entire day of mine. I also have to decide how much of it was my fault for not having my nose in it constantly. Oh well, lesson learned. No more missus nice gal for me.

I am ready for launching this puppy, dying for a little while, and re-emerging as the non-frazzled version of the Quix. Too bad it is not that time yet. Soon though. Not soon enough but soon.

Monday, December 4th, 2006
1:13 am
I swear to the purple haze…
1. That I will not work this many hours in a weekend again unless I am releasing an expansion.
2. That I will not forget to take a vacation next year. Hell, I will not forget to take at least TWO non-family visiting vacations totaling at least 3 weeks not counting xmas or comp time after.
3. That I will not back myself into a corner where I cannot ask anyone for help because it would take me longer to explain what I need done than just burn myself out and do it.

And I must remember when I’m busting my chops later for anything that goes wrong, that I did the best damn job I could in the time I had, with the resources I had.

As much as it pains me to say this at 2:10 am on a Sunday night, back to work. Can’t wait for Zliten to get home from Colorado so he can talk some sense into my dumb ass. 😛

Sunday, September 10th, 2006
11:20 pm
Ohhhhh….
I wish I were an oscar meyer weiner
For that is what I’d really like to be
Cuz if I were an oscar meyer weiner
I WOULDNT HAVE TO WORK ALL FUCKING WEEKEND!!!

Sunday, March 26th, 2006
3:43 am
12 hours of sleep last nignt and none tonight = 6 hours per night
So I should be ok. At least in straight math terms :P. We leave in 15 minutes to head to the airport for Reno. I had too much to do today and actually just got work/packing/shopping/etc done with a few minutes ago, so it’s a good think I hadn’t planned on sleeping. I had a hope for a little nap but the realist in me didn’t figure that would happen.

So work has most of the loose ends tied up and I don’t feel COMPLETELY awful and like I’m going to come back to a shitstorm when I get back, but I know worrying about it does no good from hundreds of miles away.