Adjusted Reality

“Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.” – Mark Twain

Month: September 2009 Page 2 of 4

Day 3, 8 Days to Vegas

Quick update because I don’t have that much to share, but blogging daily is helping me relieve a little stress this week…soooo….

Project: Unfluffy Bride

Yesterday I was so excited about my 3 lb loss.  I felt all spiffy and like I had found the answer.  It motivated me yesterday to stay on track and keep my calories low and I actually wasn’t even grumpy about it.  I don’t know if it was mind games or the fact that I ate really healthy yesterday so I had plenty of low calorie food like spinach and salad and soup and gardenburgers and all such things – but I wasn’t even miserable about it.

I got up this morning and stepped on the scale, happy and ready to face the day.  It spit back at me 155.2.  Yep, that’s all but 0.2 lbs gained back.  Yesterday was a freaky fluke.  Hello, motivation killer.

But I’m going to keep on it.  I am weirdly enjoying this lazy period of very little exercise, my body is probably in need of a break.  Today I was going to run, but I decided a dance class tonight sounded more up my alley.  I figure that it’s only 8 days (and the weekend will probably be a little higher anyway), so I might as well see what happens.  I know I’ll want to return to hard training soon, and I cannot train well without increasing my calories, so this is very temporary.

Some positives though – I also decided to give up coffee (my one cup of decaf) and instantly my stomach hasn’t been feeling as bloated.  Tea isn’t as good in the morning, but I know that’s a conditioned response of having coffee each morning.  And I need to splurge on better tea (I got the cheapest generic stuff and it tastes like cinnamon sticks and water).  All around eating less has made me choose what goes in my mouth very carefully, and I think I’m eating healthier in general.  I feel slimmer, which is really the point, right?  I’m not sure if it’s psychological or what, but the pooch is smaller than normal this week.

Wedding Stuff:

I have secured a ride to the craft store to deal with centerpieces the day before.  She seems excited about it, so that’s good.  I am still going to check on the flowers because they will be easier, but I have a feeling it’s going to be much more cost efficient to do something ourselves.

The next thing on the radar is parents gifts.  We’ve already taken care of the rest of the wedding party – but this is just hard.  My parents don’t go for kitchy things at all, like the sappy poem plaques and the hankies, and crap.  My parents and Zliten’s parents are just about opposite in every way, and we’d like to do the same thing for them so neither feels slighted.  Gift cards feel so impersonal.  I’d love to say we’re all going on a cruise next year, but that’s a LOT of money and I don’t what the time off situation will be like for everyone.  For my parents, they usually give a hint of what they want for Christmas, and for all other holidays we usually get them a card and take them to dinner.  I see a lot of traditional gifts are a frame with a wedding photo – well, that’s nice and all, but we won’t have the photos for a while…. any ideas?

Besides that, we just have the reception timeline and playlist (going to work on that this weekend), tinkering with my hair some more, buying lipstick (but thanks to a magazine ad in fitness I think I’ve found both the brand and the color I need), and purchase some dancing shoes for the reception – sandals might be comfy and all, but they’re hard to dance in… didn’t think I’d need TWO pairs of shoes for my wedding, heh.  The other thing I need to do this weekend is pre-pack everything to make sure it all fits in the suitcases we’re taking.

Too much to do, not enough time to do it.  That is the motto of the day…

Day 2, or 9 Days Until Vegas…

I am officially going to forgo even the NOTION that I’m going to put together well thought out, informative posts until such time as I return from Vegas and am a happily married lady.  So, for the next two weeks, welcome to my stream of consciousness.   Here’s zee updates.

Project: Unfluffy Bride

Well, well, well.  I guess the voice in the back of my head was right.  See, I was trying “you can lose weight AND be as active as you are and eat like a normal human, really, you can do it!”…but I really suspected that it was more like “to lose the last 20 lbs, you’re going to have to go through some serious pain”.  Both in terms of working out less than I want to, and eating less than I want to.  I’m 2 days in and feel weak.  I don’t feel like I could go out and run for an hour today.  I did 30 mins of DDR and about 30 mins of weights, and I’m BEAT.  And this is after 2 full days (one unplanned) off.  Tomorrow I’m HOPING to go for a relaxed 5k jog but I’m not even sure I’ll be up for it.

The upside: I’m down 3 lbs.  From yesterday.  Pre-workout I weighed 153.0 and post workout I weighed 152.4.  Yesterday I was at 155.4.  Last week, my LOW weight was 156.4.  I don’t expect to continue to see results like this (nor do I want to – it’s just not healthy), but it is giving me the sign that this is the right thing to do.  If I can continue to lose a few ounces each day, I might even make my previous goal of being under 150 by the time I leave for Vegas.  If I find success with this method and want to continue after the wedding, I don’t think I can do it all the time.  I’m thinking maybe 1 week on, 1 week off or something.

So Monday Stats:

Numbers: 1271 calories in, 0 calories workout.

Mood: sorta dismal.  It didn’t help that I really front loaded my day with the calories (150 cal breakfast, 600+ calorie lunch since I went out to tex mex, and 50 calories fruit snack), but then I had to hit the grocery store hungry right after work, and it was PACKED.  By the end of the trip I was *overit*.  I had planned to do a short workout that evening but I was even more *overit*, so instead we had dinner.  Dinner was actually delicious and filling (a filet and a half of mahi mahi in lemon pepper, rice, and stir fry veggies), but then later we flipped on food network and it was Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives.  Yeah, that’s helpful after day 1 of calorie restriction.

However, I have to say – seeing 152 point something on the scale made it worth it.   This may be the first time since my race I’ve been that low.  I was fearing that after the day I had it was going to be up to like 157 or something and I was going to be posting a very different thing today.  Today should be easier since I don’t have to navigate a restaurant menu and have big, filling, healthy meals planned, plus I’ve already got my workout done so I don’t have to worry about anything this evening.

Wedding Stuff:

It’s really hard to do this all remotely.  For example, they’re asking me about the table linen colors, and it’s hard to tell what they mean by purple – and saying deep purple isn’t really clearing it up (is deep purple plum or violet or what).  I’m going to walk into everything never having seen the cake, the flowers, etc – and that’s making me a little nervous.  What I do have to keep remind myself is… no one is going to remember if the table linens don’t exactly match the cake which doesn’t exactly match my colors and bouquet.

I’m still finding out how much centerpieces are going to be if they just take care of them, but I’m going to venture that it will be cheaper to do them myself.  The plan right now (unless the flowers end up being supah cheap) is to get to a craft store in Vegas the day before and pick up something, whether it be the tea lights/mirrors/flower petals idea or oversized glasses with something in them (I’d love to put real fish in them – how cool would that be – but since no one is really local, I don’t know what we’d do with them after).

Other things on the list include reception timeline (what happens when so our master of ceremonies can keep stuff moving along), reception play list, some of the wedding party gifts, a few hair and makeup details for me, and I think that’s about it.  Oh yeah.  And deciding whether to do purple and white linens or just white.  Hate that I don’t see anything until the day of.  Wish they could send over pictures – it’s kinda what I expected.  I’m a visual person, SHOW ME the color, don’t describe it.  Le sigh.

Anyone else have something cool to report?  My favorite thing right now is that it’s 12:30 and just about time to eat.  Hooray!

Images today by because…well, I wanna.

Another One Bites The Dust…

Weeks that is.  Time is flying so freaking fast.  I’m surprised it’s not Christmas already.  What’s been going on in my world?

Sweat rings R hawt.

Sweat rings R hawt.

5k race:

I was up at the butt crack of dawn (6 am) before it was light and got ready for the race.  We didn’t get out of the house until 7 and were on our way!  At about 7:30 we realized that the website gave the wrong directions – luckily, we found other people that were lost and they had found a couple going for a walk in the area, who pointed them in the right direction.  We followed them and got to the race around 7:45, and got registered and a number and headed to the start line just in time.  I made my way up close to the front of the line so I didn’t have to wade through the walkers/easy joggers and Zliten stayed at the back.

The course was awesome and rough at the same time.  Awesome – because there was nothing but one slight uphill (which we hit twice because it was a two lap course), and it was in this beautiful park/nature preserve area which always makes for a nice experience.  The rough was that although 1/3 of the course was on sidewalk, 1/3 was in grass/slightly muddy dirt, and 1/3 was on a trail with HUGE STICKS.  That surprised the hell out of me and I probably lost some time the first lap, but the second time around I just ran to the side of it, and it didn’t bother me much.  Also – they had mile 1 marked, but not mile 2 (or mile 3, but that was pretty obvious).  I was wondering why the second mile seemed so long when I got to the finish, tee hee.

I finished with an official time of 26:31, which included the few seconds to get to the start line (since it was not chip timed).  Zliten finished in 35:54 and it’s one of his best 5k times yet!  I got through the finish line and walked back, grabbed him water, found him on the course and then ran with him the rest of the way almost to the finish.  I placed 11th out of 76 females and 72nd out of 177 people overall.  Although I didn’t get my goal time, I did set an official race PR by 48 seconds and am pretty happy with my performance.  The race happens each month on the 3rd Saturday, so we’re going to go back next month and try again!

One thing I noticed – does anyone else that races notice this – around mile 1.5-2 I start getting REALLY over it.  There is enough of the race left that I’m not getting the “I’m almost there” boost, and you’re far enough in to have the tireds set in.  I ran at an 8:33/mile pace.  My first mile was 8:18 (that’s the only one I know because of the mile marker issue), and I’m pretty the last mile was pretty close to that.  My second mile had to have been over 9 minutes because I just felt so bleh and tired.  I hope to figure that one out by next month.  If I could stop losing my ooomph in the middle of 5ks, I’d run much better times.

Tee hee, couldnt resist this picture...

Tee hee, couldn't resist this picture...

Project: Unfluffy Bride:

This is starting officially today and ends October 1st.  I’m attempting to eat as close to 1200 calories as I can per day, and modifying my cardio a bit so my appetite doesn’t incapacitate me.  The plan is to do 30 mins cardio 4 days this week (running or DDR), 2 weights sessions, and a bike adventure sometime this weekend.  I’m allowing myself to do less if I need, or a *little*more if I feel like, but that’s the plan.

The last few days weren’t terribly successful, and they averaged out to about 1700 calories per day instead of the 1500 I’d like, but I am starting off at 155.4 today instead of in 157 silly town, so I must have done SOMETHING somewhat right.  Wish me luck with the rest of this week.  My first challenge: lunch with the girls today at Tex Mex…

Wedding stuff:

One week four days until I’m hopping on a jetplane to Vegas to get hitched.   Most of the details are dealt with, but there is still a lot to do.  Right now, the item of the day to figure out is centerpieces – the hotel said decorations were included (which we thought meant centerpieces), but after we pressed them for details, the only thing they actually provide is a black candle holder with a lit candle in it.  Not exactly tropical themed.

Now, we have two options.  The first is to get centerpieces done to match my bouquet (orange, purple, and white).  I am finding out today how expensive this is. The other option is to bring my own centerpieces, and my parents had a great idea of a small circular mirror, some tea lights, and flower petals.  Since we have a bunch of other stuff to decorate the tables with (leis, flower hair clips, tropical confetti, those silly little drink umbrellas, etc), we don’t need something HUGE, but just something at the center would be cool.   Any suggestions/ideas?

The makeup is going well.  I went on a little spree this weekend and am now much better prepared.  I went with the bare minerals starter kit for fair skin, and am incredibly happy with it.  At first I was a little nervous that it was going to be too light – but it looked amazing after it was done.   The rest of the routine involves the pinks look that I did last week, but my awesome maid of honor V gave me some blush and is letting me borrow some bronzer.  Hooray!

The hair progress is going a little slower, but ok.  Got2Be hair luster lotion is amazing.  I hope to never live without this product ever, ever again.  I, right now, am on 3 day hair I’ve slept on twice and have not brushed, and there is nothing sticking up as long as I apply a little of this at my roots every morning.  I went for a curly look (hence, why I haven’t brushed it) and used Fructis Wonder Waves spray.  It makes the hair a little crunchy, which I don’t really want for the wedding, but for daily use, it’s awesome!  Like I said, it’s 3 days from being washed, and I still have nice, defined curls as long as I spray it on every morning.  None of these products take very long to use, so I can see keeping up with it at least some of the time.  I didn’t get a really good picture of this, but I’ll try to take one tonight.  I plan to wash my hair then and try something different.

So… yeah.  Any advice for the centerpieces?  Run any races this weekend?  Wanna tell me what your favorite low calorie super healthy go to meal is?  Hit me up.

Thingity Things of This Week

I don’t have that much to say but figured since Friday is a normal posty day, I should at least ramble about things and goings onses.


5k tomorrow!  I’m excited and a little nervous to see if I can get my 26 flat time or better, but I think I’m more excited as it’s Zliten’s first race!  Woohoo!  Never did I think I was going to get him to run with me but now he seems to quite like it.  Endorphins FTW!  I feel good and prepared – yesterday I went for a nice, easy run to keep my legs loose and I kept wanting to go fast.  That means the legs are rested.  Check.  This morning, I did a nice long yoga, and the plan tonight is relaxing, and more relaxing.  Checkity check.  Good race prep.

After the race, we are going to see my parents for a belated birthday lunch of BBQ.  Alliterations FTW!  Then, some shopping to procure makeup/hair/other stuff… it’s gonna be a busy and long day.  I may demand a nap!

Day 1 of project: unfluffy bride:

Well, my plan was to hit the top of my range today and that I did (going over by 10 calories).  My lunch was bigger than I would have liked, but I had a pretty light dinner to compensate and only ate my 2 pieces of fruit for snax rather than digging into the nuts or seeds or whatnot.

I’m seeing 2 problem areas.  One I rocked last night, one I didn’t.  My first “shoving things in my cakehole when I shouldn’t” time was right after I got home from work.  To put things in perspective – I had a 200 calorie breakfast, about a 650 calorie lunch, and about 100 calories in snacks, so I wasn’t starving in the least.  I then realized it had become a habit to eat out of the pantry when I got home.  I had the same issue after the run and before dinner.  The conversation with myself went something like:

Munchy self: “Mmm, I’m a bit peckish.  Let’s have a snack.  These baked cheese doodles look rather tasty.”

Self that wants to be unfluffy: “No!  Dinner is coming soon.  You just had fruit.  You are not going to faint dead if you don’t stuff your face.”

MS:  “But how about some veggies and hummus *cough*andpitachips*cough*.  That’s heatlhy, right?”


MS: “Ok, then fine.  How about we go for the stir fry veggies leftover.   It’s veggies.  You can’t say no to veggies, right?”

STWTBU: “NO!  It’s the principal of things.  Today it’s veggies, tomorrow I’m back to the cheese doodles dipped in cheese spread (yes, I did it, and I won’t apologize, it was FUCKING YUMMY).”

MS: “We can eats it with our fingerses!  If you don’t use plates and utensils it has no calories…”

STWTBU: (almost believes it and has the tupperware open and then slams it shut) “Wait, NO!  That isn’t right.  I’m leaving the kitchen now…”

MS: *grumblegrumble* “Fine, we’ll discuss this later.”

I won the first round but lost the second.  We had a good friend over, and we happened to have his birthday cheesecake sitting in our fridge from another friend.  After a lovely, light, and healthy dinner, I cut them big slices and me a little slice.  Then it just looked too sad and little so I added another sliver (but it was still about half their size).  My Zliten went ahead and left half his cheesecake and when I took it in, MS won as I mowed down the rest of it.  Le sigh.

Regardless, I’m back on it and ready to fight another battle today.  The stats from yesterday:

1560 calories.  Only “notsogood” things eaten were a few tortilla chips at lunch and the cheesecake incident.  Everything else was totally on plan.

Did a slightly less than 3 mile run and full body weights.  My guesstimate is about 600 calories burnt.

Weighing in at 156.4 this morning.  Not great, but closer to being under my freak out weight than yesterday.

Hair and Makeup Adventures:

Well, I took the night off.  My face was feeling kinda dry and my hair kinda dirty and frizzy, and figure it wasn’t worth it.  I was going to try to do a look with more browns/coppers, but I actually don’t have a lipstick that goes with those tones, and while eyeshadow under chapstick works in a pinch, it wasn’t worth it.  I’m going to try again after I get my list o new stuff to play with.  I’m pretty confident with my makeup after this week, and I have two weeks to figure out the hair stuff and I’ve had LOTS of great advice!  Thanks so much!

I’m going out tomorrow with the intent of picking up the Got2B Smooth Operator Smoothing Luster Lotion, some bare minerals foundation/powder/concealer, and maybe some other fun and exciting stuff like mousse/gel/etc for volume.  Anyone have any opinions on diffusers vs just using a low setting on my dryer and cupping the hair in my hands?  I hate to spend the money on it because I rarely do my hair curly, but if it’s the one and only thing that’s going to make this work, I’ll spring for it.

Have a great weekend!  Wish me luck at the race and then with figuring out the ‘do.  Honestly, more nervous about the ‘do as there will be other races, but only ONE WEDDING.  Geez, I sound like such a girly girl there.  Ah, well.  I’ll be back Monday with results on both.  If you’d like to know more immediately, follow me on twitter or friend me on facebook (name is Leah Ruben, and I’m the one with the vintage gymnastics profile pic).

And I just have to end it on this…

Putting A Stake In The Ground…

I was going to wait until Friday to post, but I have THINGS TO SAY.  So today it is.

After looking down at 157 point something for the second day in a row, I have had enough.  I am fed up.  This whole eating more intuitive bullshit is not working for me.  I don’t get mad at myself very often but I was fuming on the way to work (it also didn’t help that I had done weights this morning which always make me feel – ROAR).  I was hoping that I had just been starving myself and somehow magically eating more was going to heal me and make me finally lose the weight.  Apparently, this is NOT the case.  I’ve given it time, it’s just time to face that it’s not working.

Let’s check the cold, hard facts.  I have been trying this more eating for about 2 months now.  I did about 1 week at reduced calorie-ness, and before that I was training.  Let’s look at the weight trend.  April was my low month, maintaining around 150-152.  Half training took me up a little, but that was ok.  I was around 152-154.  After, I could never quite shake the weight and was more like 153-155, but the 155s are rare.  Now, since NOLA vacation, my weeks are a rare 154 and more like 155-157.  I HAVE GAINED 5 LBS SINCE APRIL.  I can’t even lie to myself and say it’s because I fluctuate, my range has gone up and now I’m barely ever weighing in UNDER my “oh shit” weight of 155.  Not cool man, not cool.

So today, I put a stake in the ground.  I may have gone from my goals of under 140 by the wedding, to my goal of under 150 by the wedding, to now, please dear fluffy lord let me get back to where I was during half training.  However, I know what it’s gonna take.  Maybe other people can eat more, but obviously I can’t.   I knew success at a lower calorie intake, so at least for the next two weeks (because yeah, I get on a plane to Vegas 2 weeks from today), I’m back to doing what I know works even if the numbers don’t make sense.  And hey, if it sucks, it’s only for 2 weeks.

I’d like to put it off, but my red alarms are flashing.  Way back in stay puft marshmallow days, I enacted a disaster scenario and recovery plan in my head.  Maintenance would end at any time when I was regularly weighing in over whatever my “oh shit” weight happened to be (and right now, that’s 155).  I would begin immediately tracking my food, weighing every day, and reducing my calories.  Once I returned to comfortably under that, I would resume happy fun times.

So, the plan.  I am going to go back to tracking.  Today.  I just have to.  I know there is a point in my life where I will not track, but this is not now.   Spark says I can still burn 3000 calories per week and eat 1200-1550 calories per day, so that is what I will do.  Up until the race Saturday I’m going to err on the side of 1550, but as of Sunday, I’m attempting to stay as close to 1200 as possible.   I know there are days when I’ll be pushing it to stay under 1550 even, but if I can balance those out with some 1200 days, I can do it.

Exercise – I’m going to be a little more intuitive here.  Spark says I should be able to keep burning my 400+ per day and be ok.  I’m also pretty sure I could drop down to minimal exericse (for me, that looks like 3 cardio sessions per week of about 30-45 mins, 2 strength sessions of about 30-35 mins, and some yoga) and still lose.  I almost think that I might have more success with a little less cardio.  I need to accept that anything beyond moderate exercise is MY indulgence and not really going to make me lose weight.  So I’ll make a plan, and if I’m just dead tired, I’ll modify it.

The problem behind it is – I feel fluffy.  I do.  It’s taken the full 5 lb gain to really feel it but I do today.  And I don’t want to feel fluffy on my wedding day.  Even if no one else in the world notices that I lost 4 lbs between now and then, I will know.  I also will have 3 days in Vegas before I get married – I’m going to try to be as good as possible, but I’m not going to lie – there is going to be some booze and food and I’m not going to deny myself completely.  So, for the next two weeks, fat cells, you’re on notice.  And if I come off as a irrational raving bitch/lunatic/whiny person in my future posts, you’ve got an inkling why.  I don’t like when my food gets taken away.

Hair and Makeup, Day #2

I didn’t have much time, so I did a quick trial.  I liked how I was wearing my hair that day so I just did some modifications to it – however, it looked pretty crazy when I took it down.  I figure I’ll get the main shape of what I like, and then perhaps

Talk about feeling fluffy...

Talk about feeling fluffy...

work some braids into it if I decide to get all fancy-like.  Working with it the next day after washing was WAY easier (as we all suspected) but it didn’t magically un-friz like I was secretly hoping.

I’m going to give it one more try with some product after the next time I wash it, but I’m thinking the best idea might be, as Charlotte said in the comments, to dry it straight and then use a curling iron to do the curls.  Seems like a shame because I do have natural waves/curls, but they may just be too damn frizzy to work for what I want.  I think I’ve decided on little flowers all over vs one big flower, but we’ll see what I end up with.

As for makeup, I went ahead and left the foundation off, which I actually didn’t mind.  I don’t think I’m going to skip it all together, but it did reinforce the fact that I probably don’t need face cake, and as Divinari suggested, I should probably go for something very light, like bare minerals.

For shits and giggles, I decided to go with pinks and figured it would be good and humorous.  Oddly enough, it didn’t look that bad at all.  I actually kinda liked it.  I’ve never used brown eyeliner and think now it might work well for a daytime look.  I figured the pinks would turn me into barbie but they don’t.  It’s weird, but I don’t hate it.  I think I need the darker lipstick to balance out my brows (thanks Div for pointing that out, I always wondered why I trended towards darker stuff, its because of my prominent brows), but I didn’t mind either look.  I need to study how to do blush better – I think it just didn’t work quite right.

Pictorial below – first, closeup of the makeups.  First left, pink and not hating it, then right, the brighter lipstick and blush.

Pink and not hating it.

Next, hair pictures from each angle.

Sorta out of order but I don’t feel like futzing with pictures more.  You get the idea.  Yeah, it’s pretty messy but I think at least I like a) the basic hairstyle and b) the little flowers.  So a win there.  I am resisting the urge to give myself layers in front of my face because DAMN I think that would make it look super nice with that do.  Please talk me out of modifying my hair 2 weeks before I hop the plane…

Anyhoo, I think I’ll give one more go tonight with what I have, and then it’s time to go shopping for hair product and foundation stuff because I’m reaching the limit of what I can do with what I have.

As always, advice/scoldings/comment welcomed and most appreciated.

Page 2 of 4

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén