Adjusted Reality

So, I’ve been thinking a lot lately.  About races.  Please, don’t faint dead away with shock.  I know it’s a surprising thing.

I really really really enjoyed the Du Loop experience.  I only had one week to train for it, but I actually LOVED the run/bike workouts.  I suppose that real official people call them bricks.  I started searching for more biathlons and while there are some in the area, it’s not a regular thing.

I also started to think about upcoming training for the marathon.  I haven’t been doing the long runs like I wanted to – my last long run was the end of February – 14 miles.  And it was ROUGH.  I haven’t been motivated to take time out of my weekend to do it.  As awesome and fun as it sounded to just do some really long slow pace runs every so often to keep my base up – I think I’ve missed the bus.  My comfort zone right now is 6-8 miles tops, and I would fear injury doing anything over 10 without working back up to it for a few weeks.  Instead of just CONTINUING my half training to what felt like the next logical step, I’m now having to start from ground zero again.  Which mean I should really dedicate at least 5 months to it.

Then I started to think about what that meant.  Long runs outside during the two hottest months of the year (July/August) in the Texas heat.  I started to dread it.  I didn’t mind finishing up my half training last year during the beginning of summer in 80+ degree mornings, but I’d be having to get up at like 4am to get that under 85 zone.  I like a challenge and all, and I definitely in general prefer cold to hot, but the logistics?  Sorta kinda insane.  And, every time I started talking about it, Zliten kept whining and calling me crazy and giving me frowny faces.

I don’t like to wuss out.  I don’t like to admit that I’m not tough enough to do something.  And I’m not saying that.  I think I’ve reconciled with myself that this is not saying that I can’t do it.  I know if I set the goal and went for it, I’d be crossing the finish line in November as planned.  I think I’ve got some sound reasons not to do it though:

1.  The training just doesn’t sound like fun right now.  I love running, but I’d like to be a little more comfortable and experienced with around 10-13 miles the way I am with 6-8 miles right now.  Doing that 14 miler was a wakeup call.  I need to do a little more pre-training than I thought.

2.  Even running 3 days a week, its a huge time commitment.  Every Saturday I’d need to dedicate the majority of my day to it (you long distance runners know – getting up, dressed, ready, warmed up, doing the run, cooling down, stretching, showering, eating, dying on the couch a bit after…there goes your day).  It’s about a month for half training, but I can see it would be 4-5 months like that for a marathon.

3.  When I set this goal in December, my job duties and responsibilities were completely different than they are now.  It’s entirely possible I’d be rolling out of a crazy stressful crunch month of my first big huge deliverable completely in charge without training wheels just to start training hot and heavy.  Could I do it?  Sure.  Do I want to?  I’m thinking no.

4.  I have yet to have a really good half marathon experience.  I like the training, I feel increasingly comfortable after longer distances, but I feel like I want to solidly ROCK one first before I go for more.  Don’t get me wrong, I am SUPER PROUD of what I accomplished both times.  Finishing my first one drenched with sweat in 85 and humid temps?  Epic.  Finishing my last one even though I was hacking up a lung and sneezing and had a sore throat?  Respectable.  However, I think I’d like to work on the distance more.  With the right training and the right day, under 2 hours is in my sights and that’s still a goal.

5.  Most importantly, Zliten is thinking about doing this with me!  Neither of us are strong swimmers or terribly comfortable in open water, so it’s something we can conquer together.  We both are pretty novice bicyclists.  I am a stronger runner and have a little more endurance overall, but 2 out of the 3 disciplines we can train side by side.

6.  This seems also like the kind of training I can do and still keep my appetite in check.  I haven’t researched typical training schedules (yet, that’s my next stop), but I’m imagining my new shorter 6 days per week schedule will work well.  Bricks (run/bike, run/swim, or bike/swim) 1-2 days a week and then a single discipline + weights 2 days per week, and then just a single discipline the other days.  More extrapolation on this to come.

7.  Lastly – what sounds better during the long hot Texas summer… “I have to train today.  It’s a 16 mile run.” or “Oh, I have to train today, so I’m going camping.  I’m going to take my bike on a 20 mile trail ride and then swim half a mile in the lake.”?  Yeah, I think you know the answer…

However, y’all know me.  I don’t do things little.  The swim is daunting, but I think once I get back into it, I think I’m going to acclimate well (I have tons of water experience, just not hardcore open water racing).  I’ve done 20+ miles on a bike (admittedly with a break, but still…) and it was not terribly hard.  We all know my proficiency with running.  A sprint triathlon sounds fun, and sounds like a worthy goal, but it’s just not the epic replacement to my marathon.

So, I’m thinking I want to do one sprint (800m swim, 13 mile bike, 5k run) and then move on up to Olympic distance (1 mile swim, 26 mile bike ride, 10k run).  I might change my mind once I do the first one, but that’s the goal.

I’m still scoping races, and hell, the swimming logistics since I do not belong to a gym with a pool or have access to water beyond a 3 dollar drop in fee for open swimming at the neighborhood pool or just jumping in some lakes out there, but I think this would be a fitting kick off race – especially if we can train together.  For an olympic distance, I’m thinking possibly Red Licorice if I decide to go for it.  Other races that look interesting are the Dirty Du (half marathon and duthalon race on back to back days),  and I might just keep my eyes out for a late fall half as well.  Maybe not so much with the epic training schedule and paced runs, but to have an excuse to become comfortable with longer runs on a weekly basis and feel confident about being able to whip out a half marathon with a few weeks notice.

Well, whaddya think?  Am I a wuss for going back on my marathoner resolution?  Still too crazy?  Think I should just give it up and graft my ass back to the couch?  Any wisdom about tris or marathons you would like to impart on me?

My scale, that is.  So, sometimes life gets in the way.  Yes, it’s an excuse.  No, I didn’t have to have all those margaritas yesterday… or that tex-mex… but it was finally the first day of shorts weather and honestly?  So worth it.  It was also proceeded by a 6 mile walk, but I have to remember that only makes up for so much.  That, on top of the end of TOM, packed on the water weight this morning to bring me back to 161.2.  If you remember correctly, that’s what I weighed 2 weeks ago.  Grrr!

However, I know my body.  As long as I am a good girl, I should drop weight pretty quickly this week as the water weight goes away.  I can feel the *mood* though.  The utter despair of being reasonably within calorie range minus ONE stinkin’ day that wasn’t even that bad and seeing a 1.8 lb JUMP.  That mindset of “well, if that’s all it takes to ruin my week, fuck it, why try?”.  Good thing this isn’t my first rodeo, cuz I know that this is that special week where my body works against me.  I just have to wait it out.

Day by day:

Monday: 1524 calories in, 550 calories out = 974 (oops)

Tuesday: 1784 calories in, 604 calories out = 1180

Wednesday: 1550 calories in, 536 calories out = 1014

Thursday: 1550 calories in, 0 calories out = 1550

Friday: 1791 calories in, 550 calories out = 1241

Saturday: 2030 calories in, 891 calories out = 1139

Sunday: 2219 calories in, 415 calories out = 1804 (ugh)

Totals for the week…

Average calories per day intake: 1778

Average calories per day burnt: 506

Average calories per day total: 1271

Average deficit per day: 541

Weight: 161.2 (+1.8)

So even with a few oopses, not so bad number-wise.  The problems (besides epic water weight)?  I burned it early in the week too hard and then ate late in the week too much on the wrong days.  If I would have done the margarita drinking on Saturday, I would have totally accounted for those calories with the 4.5 hours of yardwork.  Monday was UNDER 1000 CALORIES – I remember the day, I just was not stinkin’ hungry and I’m sure in the back of my mind figured I’d save the calories.  If week 1 and 2’s success proved anything, it’s that I just can’t do that.  To keep the equation going, I need to be as close to 1200 per day + exercise as possible.

I also know that eating 1200 calories on my day off is nigh impossible.  That is just too little food for a healthy and normally active human being to be anything but a ball of whine on.  I’m giving myself a pass on that day and letting myself eat what dailyburn suggests that day – 1300-1500.  As long as I do 6 days a week of something, that seems to work out well.

So, the plan for this week…

Monday: 30 mins DDR + full body weights (500) (1700 calories in)

Tuesday: 5 mile run (625) (1825 calories in)

Wednesday: off  (1300-1500 calories)

Thursday: run weight intervals (650) (1850 calories in)

Friday: 45 mins arc trainer (550) (1750 calories in)

Saturday: 45 mins DDR (450) (1650 calories in)

Sunday: Warrior Dash (400) (vacation)

That’s right – this Sunday is the Warrior Dash, so I’ll be heading up to a little place outside Dallas, and running through 3.5 of mud and sand and obstacles (as long as it doesn’t get canceled – eek).  After that – we’re heading to a nice hotel in the city for some swimming, soaking up sun, a nice dinner, and some drinks.  I’m going to gather that my calories will probably be above the 1600 I’m supposed to for that day, but I’m not going to stress.  I’ll try to not be a complete oinker, but I’m also not going chicken salad no dressing and sipping water at the bar.

So all in all, not a bad week last week even with the dastardly scale numbers, and looking forward to a good week this week.  As always, things might get switched around a bit (it’s looking like it MIGHT be a double-weekday-wine-sipping-occasion on Wed and Thurs with events so I may move the runs and day off around) but I’m feeling good about being able to keep my burning and earning in line pretty well this week before Sunday.

How’s your week looking?  Stay tuned in the next day or 2 for some big changes (well, for me) on the goals front.

Pics today from ihasahotdog.com since I had the opportunity to play with a bunch of cute goggies this weekend and it was happy. 🙂

…is how I’m getting through the last 15 minutes of the day.  Just letting you know where I’m at mentally so you can excuse the absence of any cohesive thought.  Dropping by to simply let everyone know that I have not abandoned the blog to go live in a hippie commune or anything.  It’s been a good, but busy week, so I’m going to leave you with a numbered list of random things as I like to do when my wits are not about me.

1.  This was a post this week that made me think – Charlotte at the Great Fitness Experiment ranted and raved about hating food.  While I don’t agree with her vehement hatred of food (mine is more of a love/hate relationship…), I totally understand the sentiment.  It definitely takes a lot of finagling and negotiation to eat like a healthy human without being a social outcast or having willpower of steel.  It’s so hard to know with all the research out there what to do.  Live longer by starving yourself?  But wait, overweight people live longer too.  I think the key is to figure out what works for you without making yourself too crazy, and hold onto it tightly.  I’m at a point right now where I can quantify what’s working.  I just need to keep going.  This is just as easy and terrifyingly difficult as it sounds.  I think this is worth a post in and of itself later, but who knows when I’ll get to such things…

2.  I am also experiencing that magical day of the month where I’m tired as hell on 9 hours of sleep, grumpy, feel (and I’m sure look) like I’m smuggling a watermelon in my belly, and just want to lay on the couch.  Of course, since it’s Friday, I have a full day of work, then a 10k run, abs, and then a bbq to run off to tonight.  I’m thinking a compromise – workin’ it out on the arc trainer instead of pavement pounding in the 85 and humid weather, and seeing if’n I perk up a bit later or if not – the commute is easy home from next door (it’s nice to have cool neighbors that like to hang out).

3.  Normally, you would think that a rest day combined with a large hamburger and fries would be bad.  Usually, I can tell when I make a bad body decision, and this was not it.  I’ve been very “ying” lately – eating rabbit food, moving moderately for decent amounts of time every day… I ate that WHOLE burger and LARGE order of fries and sat on the couch all night and got my “yang” on and my body felt WONDERFUL.  Today, I’m back at it, but sometimes, you just need what you need.

4.  Of all the things that I have been slacking on lately, it’s water consumption.  I’ve been finding that I’m at about 20 oz by the end of my work day because I forget to fill my water glass again.  I really need to be better about it.  Doing good today though, at least 8 glasses down by the end of this big cup.  I can’t think of the last time I’ve actually had to be conscious about hydration…

5.  Our iguana is doing much better!  She’s been to the vet for checkups every week, and they say she is healing nicely.  She should be able to get her “cast” off the stitches in her hand next week so we can give her baths again (which she will be sooooo happy about), and where they opened her up to scoop all her girly insides out is also healing well.  She has been eating now like it’s her job to get fatter (and that also means pooping like a champ).  I can’t wait until we can bring her out and play with her again and let her run around the house like we used to.

6.  Plans for this weekend: tons of yardwork Saturday.  I was feeling pretty bleh about that until I found out how many calories various yard worky things burn and I got excited.  Yes, something is very wrong with me, I’m aware of that.  Hopefully something superfun Sunday but nothing planned yet.  Rock climbing?  Epic walk?  Just vegging and seeing a movie?  Who knows.

7.  I finally went shopping!  I purchased one long sleeve green tie dye tee I loooove, a new black tee that fits properly (since I have one that’s a wee bit too small and one that’s too big), a new pair of pinstripe pants (to replace the ones that I shrank out of 2 sizes ago), a pair of brown pants (which are my new faves – can you say HOTASS? …and Mrs. Fatass, I’m totally thinking of you here with this usage).  I purchased a new pair of brown platforms which are about 4.5 inches tall, fairly comfy, and I love them.  I also found a replacement pair of black comfy-enough-to-walk-a-mile-in-but-dressy-enough-to-wear-with-anything shoes.  THOSE were hard to find.  The only fail?  I bought my first pair of skinny jeans, and tried to apply boots on top of them?  The legs are too baggy.  So back to the drawing board there.  I love the waist/butt part so I have a feeling they will become the comfiest pair of cutoffs I have ever worn come summer.  Can anyone suggest a brand of skinny jeans (I’m talking skintight here, no slack on the legs) that doesn’t expose my naughty bits because they’re cut so low?  Just below the waist please.

8.  It’s vacay season coming up!  I’ve had a long hard 7 months with nary a vacation, and I’ve got quite a few short jaunts coming up.  Next weekend, we head up just outside Dallas for the Warrior Dash, then going to stay the night at a hotel in Dallas somewhere for some wining and dining and general pamperage.  June is South Padre Island for some waterpark, watersports, and good times.  July 4th weekend is driving to the Ozarks for a friend’s wedding and weekend of revelry.  Mid Sept is another jaunt to Vegas.  Then, we take a little break, and there should be a cruise in there sometime in the winter.  Yeah, it’s not the honeymoon in Europe I was thinking, but it will tide me over until we have time for that…

I think that’s about it.  Have a great weekend!  What’s up in your neck of the woods?  Hate food?  Love vacations?  Have any skinny jeans suggestions for me – seriously, I’ve been looking for a year…

Different than the usual.  I like to be contrary.

So last week, I found an edge.  A corner in the grid.  I didn’t go beyond it, but I certainly found that I found my limit of comfortable-ness.  Between the early mornings 4 out of 5 workdays, the 10 hour days, the increased social stuff, and other obligations, I endeavored to fit in my calorie burn into my week and did it with my mental and physical health in tact.  But at times – barely.  I knew I was working out a little more than I should, but I also had to compensate for a bit more indulginations (because the alternative of drinking water at the bar for the game dev meetup and picking at a plate of whole wheat pasta -blech- on my Dad’s b-day didn’t sound like fun).  So I burned approximately 3200 calories working out 6 days last week.

The 6 days was not inherently the issue – but the time commitment was.  Each day was at least an hour if not way more.  I found a lot of comfortable success last week with 400-500 calories burnt most days (and eating about 1600-1700) so that’s what I’m aiming for this week.  A lot of my week is unknown right now.  Will I be working 10 hour days and getting catered lunches?  Will I have to work this weekend?  Will it rain or be nice?  What’s the social haps?  It’s all up in the air.  And we ALL know how much I love not having a plan.

So this week, I’m trying to keep it a little more chill if possible.  I’m figuring on Wednesday trivia, and trying to keep the party time calendar open for weekend reveling.  I have been told by Zliten I WILL be doing about 4 hours of yardwork outside over the weekend, so that TOTALLY counts as a workout, right?

Monday: 3.5 mile run, abs (500)

Tuesday: 30 mins arc trainer, arms and legs (500)

Wednesday: 3.5 mile run, abs (500)

Thursday: off

Friday: 10k run, abs (800)

Saturday: yard work (it is what it is – should be pretty significant)

Sunday: 30 mins DDR, arms and legs (or other fun exercise) (400)

…or something like this.  The end of the week will be very fluid depending on what work looks like, what weather looks like, what fun we get up to, and so on.  However, I’ve got my mojo back.  I feel like if I’ve navigated my way through these last 2 hellish weeks, I can figure it out.  The key seems to be burning about 2500-3000 calories over the week, in fairly low intensity segments (for me – remember I though my sprints days were easypants back in January) 6 days per week.  In other words, burning it (workouts) as I earn it (eating).

Will it keep working?  I dunno.  I sure hope so!  I’m certainly excited to be within 5 lbs of my acceptable weight range starting out this week and hope to just get another good solid week under my belt.  Another 1.8 lbs would be nice too!

What do you endeavor to accomplish this week?

I feel like a bit of a wuss.

I used to work way more than 50 hours per week.  Regularly.  10 hours per day of being at work was like a vacation to me.  I regularly logged into work from home on a weekend – sometimes from the time I woke up until the time I went home.  Quality time with Zliten was often while making items, writing quests, crafting producer letters, or tweaking raid content.  He watched a whole anime SERIES one week hanging out with me in the office while I was working.  This was JUST the time outside of my 40+ hours I worked from home that week.

Now, I’m just used to having a life.  Those extra two hours per day REALLY cuts into my social life and workout time during the week.  I had to keep an eye on my email Saturday and do a little work from home on Sunday and geez it felt weird, uncomfortable, and today I feel as if I didn’t have a full weekend.  Crazy.  They say that alcoholics are one beer away from a relapse – so perhaps I am one VPN and weekend work session away from not having a thought outside my job, but I don’t think so.  It would take something major – and outside this said something of catastrophic proportions, I think I am cured, y’all.

However, this doesn’t solve the other problem.  We’re heading into Week 3 of project: lose the fluff, Week 4 of project: ship the little deliverable that could, and I’m TIRED.   But as they say, no rest for the wicked.

Last Week:

I won’t get into it like I did last Monday, simply because I didn’t keep a detailed journal of my feelings.  I did track fairly thoroughly each day on Daily Burn, so I’ll just summarize.

Monday

Ate: 1653 calories (Goal was 1700).  Pretty much exactly how and as much I’m supposed to eat.  I had a REALLY rough go of it that day and was starving pretty much all day until after dinner.  I think it was because I had spent the weekend trying to cut (food, not alcohol) calories real low.  One day of good nutritious eating fixed it though.  Day 1 of getting up SUPER early (7:30 or before) to be home by 6 to give the leezard pain meds.

Exercise: 464 calories burnt (goal was 500) burnt: DDR for 30 mins and then an ab workout.

Total intake: 1189

Tuesday

Ate: 1610 calories (goal was 1700).  Just didn’t really have the oomph or desire to eat more, even though I didn’t reach my goal and I even burned more calories than I meant to – although my lunch MAY have been 100 calories more (after I tracked I looked around and it said 500 some places and 600 elsewhere, so there).  Day 2 of getting up super early (7:30), more leezard pain meds.

Exercise: 565 calories burnt (goal was 500).  Meant to do a 4.5 mile run, ended up doing 5.25.  Was just too nice and was rolling sans garmin so I didn’t map my run until after.

Total Intake: 1045 (oops – now I *hope* those lettuce wraps were 600 calories)

Wednesday

Ate: 1693 calories (goal was 1600).  Made the mistake of a fairly small lunch, fairly small dinner, and got SUPER snacky late at night.  Considering my burn was a little over though, I’m not complaining, it worked out.  Day 3 of getting up early (7:30), we were SUPPOSED to have a 7pm trivia date but it got canceled.

Exercise: 464 calories burnt.  DDR and an ab and arm workout I found online.

Total Intake: 1229

Thursday

Ate: 1734 calories (goal was 1600).  A *little* more of the sauce that day than I would have liked.  Like a MORON, stayed up until 4am drinking.  I was SURE we would have to work this weekend and figured I’d have my fun that night – then the next day found out, of course, that it was not to be.  Oh well.

Exercise: 464 calories (goal was 400) burnt.  3.5 mile run, and since I did it on the treadmill, I was able to count my warmup and cooldown in the burn so it’s a little more accurate.  I think the treadmill overestimates about 5 calories per mile, but in the grand scheme of things, who cares?

Total Intake: 1270

Friday

Ate: 1443 calories.  I just could NOT keep it to 1200 that day (the goal).  My body just won’t run on that few calories anymore.  I think I’m going to have to modify the goal on non-workout days to be a little more reasonable (1300-1400).

Exercised: NADA.  Nothing.  My only rest day and I sat on the couch.  Bliss!

Total Intake: 1443

Saturday

Ate: 2123 calories.  Goal: 1800.  Oops.   I made the mistake of doing a kick ass workout and then heading RIGHT to lunch at a mexican restaurant.  My appetite was KILLER right then and I devoured half a basket of chips and a full plate of chicken fajitas – so over 1k calories by 1pm.  I had a fairly lo cal dinner, but then some drinks and was STARVING again later and had some not so healthy munchies.  Meh. I didn’t think I was quite this over.

Exercise: 665 calories burned.  1 mile run to the gym, arms, 1 mile on treadmill, abs, 1 mile on treadmill, legs, 1 mile run home.  Felt like a lot more, honestly, so I might not be so off (50 mins of weights was probably more than 235 calories simply because my heartrate was up from the mile runs each time).  Loved this workout, especially the run home in the sprinkling rain.

Total Intake: 1458

Sunday

Ate: 1628 calories (goal was 1800).  Made it a goal to be reasonable at the italian buffet, and mostly succeeded.  Loaded up on roasted veggies and while I did consume some gloriously greasy pesto pasta, I did stick to ONE scoop of ice cream and some fruit for desert.  I feel like I done good – both in the preparing for and executing on today.  I did not particularly LIKE snacking all evening instead of eating a small and healthy dinner, but my parents were around til 10pm and it was snack or starve…

Exercise: 600 – 1 hour DDR.  I would have normally taken it easier today, but the whole italian buffet thing… I’m very glad I did what I did.

Total Intake: 1028 (another oops but after the day before… balances out).

So, here we go with the weeklies:

Consumed Avg per day: 1697

Burned Avg per day: 460

Net Intake per day: 1237

Avg Deficit per day: 563 (resulting in just over 1 lb loss, potentially)

Weight this morning: 159.4 (net loss, 1.8 lbs)

Soooo…I’m doing something right.  Haven’t started a week under 160 in quite a while.  Is this process kind of annoying and painful and rigid and I wish I could just *be*?  Sure.  Is it finally working in a way nothing else has?  Hell yes.  So on it I will stay.  1.8 lbs lost BOTH WEEKS and very similar net calories?  Looks like consistency to me, friends.  I do believe I’ve got a little of that so called MOMENTUM and I just need to keep rolling and not put down the brakes.

More later about this week’s plan… today’s pics by Graph Jam.