Adjusted Reality

Author: Quix Page 171 of 217

5 Random Things – Braindead Edition

On December 16, 2009

Since I haven’t been pulled in one way or another with a post to write today, I think I’m going to pull out a 5 random things day and hope y’all will forgive me.

1. I rocked the sprints Monday. I actually ran them at 1:57 per 400m because that’s the closest I could do via the treadmill. 7.7. Is it odd that my EASIST days are my sprints? Today, I’m going to tackle a 6 mile tempo and feeling really nervous even though I rocked the 5 miler. Can I add a mile and still maintain my pace? We shall see.

2. It seems that the closer to Christmas you get, the more CRAP FOOD is around. And by crap I mean so-yummy-but-bad-for-you. So far, some gourmet popcorn, a few rum balls, and a small tin of homemade Christmas cookies have made it into the fortress of casa de Quix and Zliten. I’ve decided it’s not the end of the world. Yesterday I had a cookie and a rum ball while the rest of my food was totally rockin’ (protien bar, homemade chili, the rest of the bag of carrots, super veggie homemade chicken noodle soup, blackberries, and a laughing cow, melba toast, and turkey summer sausage).

Today, I had half a tiny piece of cake for desert with lunch, and I will probably allow one tiny cookie after a healthy dinner. I think the key is not to try to stoically deny myself, but definitely limit myself. I think denying myself now will backfire once next month hits and the mileage goes up. THAT is when I will need the most resolve, when I actually feel the hunger and my body crying out to feed it sugar. But who knows, maybe training this way will cut out the desire to stand in front of the freezer and shovel in chocolate chips and make me crave more sane things like whole cows and 1 lb bags of veggies.

3. I’m trying to look forward to Holiday break, but today I’m in limbo because I don’t know what day it starts. I was originally going to be off starting Friday (minus Christmas Eve – they are not giving it to us off, but typically send us home at lunch…I live 5 minutes away from work so I’ll come in for 3 hours and save the time off for a full day, thank you very much). However, I have a deliverable that MIGHT be due 12/22 or it might be delayed until next year. If it’s not delayed, I’ll work 12/21 and 12/22 at least half days.

Hopefully I’ll know within the next day or 2 so I can really and truly look forward to a certain date! One of the things I love about vacation is the anticipation counting down the days before and the “last day of school” feeling when you walk out of the building on the last day (I’ve been known to do that toe-tap jiggy thing before on my way out). I’m really looking forward to some quality time off without traveling or obligations – just FUN TIMES. Well, we might do a night stay somewhere, but nothing crazy.

4. I’ve been doing a lot of navel gazing lately so I’m going to spare you a 2009 wrap up (this week at least), but I have started to think about what’s next. The half marathon and marathon for sure. Finishing what I started during NaNo and getting myself on a consistent schedule with my fiction/memoir/whatever writing. Then there are the unknowns… should I give myself a year off really pushing weight loss and maintain and work on my running and my head? I think it’s about time to start figuring out what’s next career-wise. Do I want to stay here and gun for a promotion? Do I want to stick my toes in somewhere else? Back to school? I do know it’s time to at least coast towards a path. I’m 30 – no longer a spring chicken. I have lingered in lower-middle management long enough.

And what do I want to do with this blog? I love my lovely gaggle of wonderful people that comment here, but I feel like I’m doing something wrong because sometimes I feel like the dorky kid with the glasses and the braces that gets picked last for teams. I’d love to have a bit larger exposure on the interwebs simply because I am a closet fame whore, but I just haven’t figured that one out yet. And I’m not sure the level of effort I am willing to put forth to make it happen. And I’m not sure even WHY I want this, as this place just started as a soapbox for me to shout on. Maybe it’s that I feel like it’s not worth as much not shouting AT anyone.

Yeah, ok, expect a 2009 wrap up and 2010 resolution post coming up. There is obviously more for me to say here. We’ll just call this Navel Gazing December.

5. I hope to wrap up all that navel gazing soon, and will be taking things a little lighter during the next 2 weeks. What that means is I have a bunch of recipe posts I’ve been meaning to do. I’ve even got a fashion-y one planned. I think I’m going to try and join in MizFit’s virtual talent show. So what am I saying? Expect some fluff starting next week through the end of the year, and if you get super awesome well-thought-out posts, be happy! Because this one is so well thought out and intelligible. MMmmmhmmm.

I guess that about wraps up my world. Off to finish out the day, knock out my tempo (cross your fingers I don’t die at that pace), clean more of my messy house (love when my parents want to drop by randomly on a Friday), make some dinner, pack my lunch for tomorrow, and fall down tired and zonk out! At least tomorrow = happy fun white elephant party and Friday should be pretty mellow.

How is your week going? Got any ideas for posts for me so it’s not all recipes all the time? Crazy questions or stories I should tell? Wanna tell me how to become one of the popular kids?

Second Half Marathon Training: Week 4

By Quix

On December 14, 2009

In Half Marathon Training

I want to bottle this feeling I had about this week’s runs. Just the sense of pride I have right now. Week 1 of training was a little mixed up because of the Turkey Trot. Week 2 was screwed up because of illness. Having the first two weeks not go as planned did not do well for my confidence. The training plan I picked makes each and every run TOUGH. In these 12 weeks, there are no happy fun lazy runs around the neighborhood. The SLOWEST goal pace is 9:40, and that’s on my long runs (which are 8-12 miles here on out). My tempo runs, which are up to 8 miles, are at 8:55. The sprints are even faster and get longer and longer.

This week I finally got the chance to do a normal week of training. Monday, it was sprints. which is honestly the thing I am MOST confident with keeping the required pace. This week, it was mile sprints. I have to say, I LOVED this workout. It was difficult but the rest intervals made it tolerable. The first mile was felt great. The second and third was TOUGH by the end but not falling-of-the-treadmill hard. It’s going to be brutal to tack one and then two more mile sprints at the end of this, but I look forward to the challenge.

Wednesday was COLD as HELL (ok, I don’t want to hear from you people with windchills below 0, it’s cold for me) and was in the low 30s in the morning. I was planning to get up and run. I even got dressed in my running gear, poked my head outside, and went right back in. I left my running gear on, put a sweater over it, packed my bag, and headed to work. I would conquer the cold at lunch. I ended up out in about 40 degree weather. At first it was a little chilly, but it was a huge breakthrough – it wasn’t that bad at all! Also, I had planned to do my 5 mile tempo but ended up actually going 7 (my route went NOTHING as planned because of construction and I ended up on the other side of our office area at 5 miles so I just kept going). I really enjoyed knocking my long run out in the middle of the week! The mileage was estimated – I spent a lot of time running circles around parking lots – but I was bookin it and ran for 70 minutes. I definitely don’t PREFER running in the cold (give me a 70 degree morning ANY DAY) but I felt awesome that I conquered my hesitation to run in winter temps.

By Friday, I was SO dreading this run. Five miles. Under 9 minute pace. I didn’t even get that on race day. It was Friday night, I was a little bummed that we were missing a fun-sounding holiday party, but I just kept telling myself that I had 5 miles between me and my weekend. And if I made my pace, I would celebrate somehow. I did a 5 minute warmup, reset the treadmill, and started again at 6.0. I decided that I was gonna attempt a true tempo, so after the first .75 of a mile of ramping up, I hit 6.7 and just WENT. I felt strong, I felt confident, and most importantly, I felt like I could hold the pace even if it was tough. So I did it. For 3.5 miles. Then, at 4.25 miles I knew I had some time to make up, so I started ramping it up again, and by the end I was going 8.0. My final pace? 8:57 miles. Under 9. I beat my race time 2 weeks ago by 1:05.

Then, we made amazingly delicious homemade pizza for dinner/breakfast the next day, which was much better than any crazy holiday party. Or at least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

The DDR circuits were in there too (Tuesday and Thursday) and I yoga’d Monday. I meant to do another yoga session but got busy with holiday stuff. Oops. MUST YOGA TWICE THIS WEEK SOMEHOW. I stretched well after each run but I can still feel tension. MUST YOGA.

I went into this week scared. I am coming out of this week feeling like a badass. I am ready to conquer these next 9 weeks because I have it in me. Sub 2 hour half, here I come!

Training for week 4:

Monday – 6×400 sprints @ 1:58 pace (with one mile warmup and one mile cooldown and 400 rest in between) = 5 miles

Tuesday – DDR circuits

Wednesday – 6 mile tempo run @ 8:55 pace

Thursday – off (holiday party)

Friday – 30 day shred (need something effective and quick as I have dinner plans)

Saturday – 8 mile nice outside long run @ 9:40 pace

Sunday – rest

Next week in theory should start my holiday break and I should be back to 2 weeks of training on whatever schedule I want, but since I have a shippable at work I’m in charge of that has to be done by the end of the year, I might have to work some half days that week. But we shall see.

This is the week where the appetite starts to kick in too. I can already feel it. At least this time, I’m craving boatloads of protien, more dairy, and veggies instead of all carbs all the time. I’m sure that will come later, or perhaps training this way is changing the way I crave. It could make sense. Each workout is brutal, so protein/dairy helps build my body back up stronger, but I have enough rest time that I don’t need to be pumping constant FUEL ME NOW energy into my body.

The problem is I’m sitting here at my desk, having eaten a 20g protien bar this morning, a huge buffalo chicken lunch meat sammich for lunch, and I’m currently destroying a full 1 lb bag of baby carrots. It is not long for this world, folks. And I’m pretty sure before the workout, I’ll be digging into the pistachios and the blackberries too. I mean – it’s all ridici-healthy and all (minus the nummy onion bun instead of the normal horkin’ fiber bread), so I can’t be too upset.

The plan is to really watch it this month. Eat super healthy on most days so I can just kinda let myself graze until I feel fueled without being restrictive. On days I have holiday plan-type-things, make sure I watch my portions and fill up on all the healthy stuff I can. Or moderate. Like last night’s party where there were 4 appetizers and 3 desserts and NOTHING was healthy and the meatballs actually ended up being the best option. Or Saturday night when bacon fudge made an appearance. It was AMAZING. I broke my no sweets/drinking in the same day rule twice this weekend, but it was totally worth it.

So I’ve got my playlists set, my gymbag with me, and I’m ready to rock some sprints tonight. Hopefully I can stop shoveling carrots into my mouth by that time.

Will Vienna Wait For Me?

By Quix

On December 11, 2009

In Uncategorized

Just wanted to first give huge thanks for the comments and advice on Wednesday’s post. I appreciate the advice. It kinda hit me this morning when I weighed myself and the scale fluctuated each time I got on it (like, some weights made me go woohoo and then some made me go aaaaack, that much). Does it REALLY matter what I weigh? If my running keeps progressing nicely? If all my clothes either continue to fit or get too big on me? Maybe it ISN’T denial to not weigh myself often.

Same with the eating. I was reading over my posts over the last few months and the biggest theme is “I’m eating in a way which would rationally and numerically make me lose weight, and I’m not *grrrrr*”. Counting calories worked for me for so long and then it just DIDN’T. I think I eeked out the last 15 lbs while skating the thin line between extreme diet mode and starvation mode, and it’s not a comfortable place to be. I’m tired of it. Thinking about it sends me into a temper tantrum.

So my inclination is to say fuck it. No, my inclination is to scream FUCK IT from the highest mountain top I can find. If the scale isn’t going to provide me with any useful feedback (apparently I weigh something between 153.0 and 159.0 this morning, heh), then fuck it. It’s not worth my time. If calorie counting isn’t providing me with any useful feedback, fuck it. Apparently I maintain no matter whether I eat an average of 1400 and burn 3k calories per week or eat an average of 1900 and burn less. Maddening.

I stopped calorie counting a few weeks ago, and I went back to it last week for a few days. It just got under my skin. Usually it’s no biggie, but it just pissed me off for some reason. So I stopped again. Right now, I’m just trying to trust my body to nourish itself properly. And oddly enough, it’s working. My size 6 super low rise jeans still fit. I am enough of a big girl to go into the kitchen, serve myself healthy food I made, and stop when I’m full. After 3 years, my eat watch is pretty much fixed. It doesn’t take math to make me stop eating anymore, as long as I really pay attention. Am I eating out of boredom? Am I eating because I’m grumpy? Am I eating because it’s there and I want to finish it? If the answer is no and I’m hungry and I really truly want it, then it’s a valid reason.

Same with workouts. It used to be fear motivating me, that I was going to get fat again if I didn’t work out. Now… well, I guess it’s fear too but a different, better fear. I am afraid of losing fitness progress. I’m afraid of not being prepared for my next race. I’m terrified of going back to being a wuss. I am horrified at the idea of a 5k ever being a big deal. I knew very early on that I’d have to move away from workouts simply for weight loss or I wouldn’t stick with it. I am everlastingly thankful for running and races in that vein. I can’t see a time when I won’t be actively pursuing getting harder, better, faster, stronger.

The problem is – that same thinking food-wise goes down a scary path that’s dangerous to follow. I don’t want to go there. So I need to come up with a good way to motivate myself. This is where I need the most help. I need to sit down and come up with goals that don’t go against my core values of how this healthy journey should be. I refuse to avoid food groups. I am a runner, I need my carbs. Even some simple carbs. My body has ALWAYS run on a carby tank. I shut down creatively and functionally when I restrict them (even after months). I refuse to have to avoid eating at parties and restaurants. Zliten and I cook lunches and dinners together, so there is only so far I can take meals. However, I’ve definitely made strides on what I eat outside mealtimes and will continue. Next step is convincing myself fruit is a viable desert instead of chocolate. Did it last night!

Even with all this strong talk, I’m terrified. Giving up caring about the scale means I run the risk of gaining. Giving up calorie counting means I run the risk of gaining. Trusting myself after 3 years of triple checks and balances put in place to keep me safe in my little padded weight loss room? Scary. My track record is not very good – this is the longest I’ve ever kept weight off and I’m half convinced it’s only because I’m trying to lose. If history repeats itself, I’ll be 300 lbs by next year. I mean, my head is completely different and I’ve gone through so much mental shit and dealt with a lot of things over the last 3 years, but with the training wheels coming off and trusting myself to balance on my own? Still frightened.

And then, there is that horrible fear that this is the best I’ll ever be. That I’m not good enough right now, and this is the closest I’ll ever get. Stupid brain! I am a damn fine looking woman. At my current weight. I might not have that long lean look I covet, I might own some clothes that aren’t terribly flattering or from age 14 that don’t fit or whatever. And maybe the solution instead of longing to be thin enough that everything looks good on me is to give away anything in my closet that doesn’t make me feel fabulous.

Maybe the lesson that I’ve been fighting here is not how to power past a plateau, but to learn how to accept myself here. To come to terms that I don’t have to be perfect to be done. That maybe it’s time to wrap up this year of beating my head against the proverbial weight loss wall and have a kinder, gentler 2010. Where 153-155 is good enough. Where all that matters is I have enough fuel in my tank to push through my long (and increasingly longer) runs. Where I continue to work on eliminating the fat and building more muscle for the sake of sport.

It’s like planning a project here at work. No matter what, things change, dates change, hell, sometimes the whole thing changes. Three years ago, I just wanted to not be so fat. Two years ago, I wanted to get down to my college weight of 170. A year ago, I picked 135 as it seemed like a good idea. Never in a million years did I have any idea that I’d be training for my second half marathon and have my sights on a full one. Never did I think that I’d be rocking size 6s and smalls.

Maybe it’s not giving up to be the weight I am now. I mean, it’s kinda nice to not have to buy a new wardrobe each season because nothing fits. It would be nice to feel as if I’m there. I know it’s just a head shift. But it’s frightening to allow myself to feel good, to feel accomplished, to feel done. Because that stupid voice in the back of my head keeps telling me that’s quitter talk.

I have some more thinking to do. Perhaps I even have some experimenting to do. But something just keeps telling me there is a lesson here that I’m not letting through. Maybe I just need to realize that Vienna waits for me, and I just need to make the decision to go there. I don’t want to look back on this time of my life as the period where I was amazing, but I didn’t give myself credit for it. If I’m so damn smart, why am I so afraid? I can’t be everything I want to be before my time (thought I want to so very badly). I’ve got my passion and pride (in spades) – and my crazy side is saying only fools are satisfied.

Oh, Billy Joel. Are you telling me that I can take my phone off the hook for 2010 and disappear from my crazy for a while? It’s alright? I can afford to lose a year or two to the pursuit of something besides a perfect figure? Will Vienna still wait for me?

Less navel gazing next week. Have a lovely weekend!

Chasing my Shannon…

By Quix

On December 9, 2009

In Uncategorized

I have to have this conversation with myself once every few months lately, so you get to get in on this one. Lucky you.

1995 - right before I quit gymnastics

So it’s been another 2 months since the wedding, and just like every vacation this year, I was able to quickly drop the “bloat weight”, and then seeing the scale go down starts to get me excited. If I can drop the 3-5 lbs to get me right back around that 153-154 that I’ve been hovering at, maybe this is the time. Maybe this is finally that month where my body is going to start cooperating and we’ll see some low low 150’s, and then that magical day I’ve been dreaming of – when I step on the scale and see 149.something. And I’m not leaning on the counter.

And every time, I am doing great, I see a low 153, maybe even a 152, and then I GET STUCK. Here I am now, bouncing around in the low/mid 150s. Where I have been since about April. To give reference and numbers because I love that stuff, I am 5’5″ and 150 is the tippy top of normal range for me via BMI. However, when I was a serious gymnast at age 14ish, I was only about 30 lbs lighter and I was a muscle beast. The only difference in my body now (besides the extra weight which I am convinced is ALL in my tummy) is I’m a D cup instead of a B, which all in all, ain’t so bad. My

1997 - Diving Senior Year (what is my penchant for sports wearing almost nothing?)

back then go-to size was 7. My now go-to size is 8 (which we all know is bigger because average sizes are bigger but still). I have once again become a muscle beast. I am a capable athlete. While I wouldn’t dream of being able to do a straddle press to a handstand, girlfriend back then wouldn’t dream of being able to run 13 miles.

So why isn’t that enough? Why is it absolutely imperative that I get down to some number that I’ve set for myself? What wonders is life going to hold 20 lbs from now? I’ve already had the reality check that life still sometimes SUCKS some days even when you are a healthy weight and for all intents and purposes financially comfortable. Removing those two worries from life does not guarantee happily ever after. Will I be able to run faster? Probably a little but I highly doubt I’ll be rocking 5 minute marathon miles. Will I finally love and accept my body wholly and completely and nary once look in the mirror ever and go, “ugh, that stomach is NOT hawt” and suck in my cheeks and wish my face looked more like that? Probably not. At about 120 and 10% body fat at 14 (you couldn’t pinch an inch anywhere, I had a 6-pack, the only fat in my body was in my boobs), I was still not thin enough as a gymnast compared to my 80 lb teammates. But without doing something drastic, it just wasn’t going any lower.

Fall 2007 - Yes, that is me, not Violet turning into a blueberry. 30 lbs down, believe it or not

It’s not that I don’t appreciate where I’m at. I’m not discounting the work I put in to lose 110+ lbs. I appreciate how life changing and wonderful that is. The thing is – I got the ball rolling Sept 2007 with a 8 lb loss that month, and never stopped losing each week EVER until about a year later. So while it was effort, I already had the inertia. I knew in my head that it was going to be hard to get going again so I just kept doing it. I was very right.

I also don’t discount the work I put in within the last 20 lbs lost going from huffing and puffing through a 5k at around 11-12 minute miles, to now cutting that time to 8:30 miles and being able to go over 4x that distance. My body looks and feels and handles completely differently in the last year. Clothes that fit last winter 10-15 lbs ago hang off me. Every pair of pants I own fits, even the “skinny jeans” I bought myself this spring that didn’t quite work when I weighed a few lbs less.

Jan 2008 -200. Starting to feel strong.

But the scale just keeps taunting me. I’ve tried eating less, I’ve tried eating more, I’ve tried intuitive eating, I’ve tried strict calorie counting, I’ve tried rest weeks, I’ve tried everything that doesn’t involve giving up food groups or foods of one color, ie, things that to me feel like sane, reasonable eating I can do for the rest of my life. I’ve posted a week of my intake, and the comments were somewhere between “yum” and “I’m getting hungry just reading, eat more”. Sadly, the best progress weight-wise I seem to make are rest weeks from the gym where I barely do any working out and I restrict my calories down super low (1300). When I start working out more and thus eating more (even if the calories I take in are way less than the extra calories expended), I go back to 154.

July 2008 -175 - muscles starting to peek out...

It’s to the point where I need to make a decision – spend the few months between the next half marathon and when I start marathon training going back to baby workouts and a 1200 calorie diet to see if I can take off the last 20, or just take a stand and say this is it. I don’t know what else there is. My thyroid and all other tests came out fine. The numbers show I should be making progress. I’ve just resigned myself to the fact that I cannot eat as much as any of you out there and lose weight.

Jan 2009 - 160 - First mini in public that wasn't a costume since college!

Option one sounds painful (I am so addicted to exercise I actually don’t feel right in the head after rest weeks), but so does option two, because it feels like giving up. I still have a dress I can’t fit in. I’m still “overweight” BMI-wise. My tummy still poofs out all funny under the belly button. I still have something I’m pursuing in my head and I’m not there yet. It’s not just a number. I just want to get to that point in my life where I don’t get up every morning wishing I was smaller. The sad thing is I have never been there, so I can’t say when it will be. I have always been the Merry Lou Retton in a world of Shannon Millers. Stocky, muscular, and powerful looking at our best. But you gotta wonder, did she ever just wish she had that typical, emaciated gymnast body? My theory is that at some weight, I have to lose the “stockiness” about me and just look badass. But how far do I have to go to do it?

June 2009 - Around 155, right before starting my half marathon

It’s just part of my insatiable mega-manic personality. I always thought the line, “somehow I feel like I was destined to be more” seemed cheesy, because don’t we ALL feel destined to be more? I’m trying to think of a way to say this that doesn’t make me sound like a horrible, self-deprecating person, but every day that I am not extraordinary, I am a failure to myself. Can I add to that “in a good way”? Like, the drive in me to be more, do more, be something amazing pulls me along by the nose.

That’s the quirk that had me in the gym 4-7 hours per day 6 days a week, or got me mostly straight As in school, or had me working 100 hour weeks without prodding, or now that has me working towards running 26.2 miles. It hit me recently that no, not everyone feels “destined for more”. Some people are just continent to be themselves and live their lives and are genuinely happy. Sometimes I really am jealous of them. Most times, I cannot imagine not having this crazy drive to do and to be more.

Oct 2009 - 155ish - getting married and looking pretty hawt doing it

But I have this crazy bail button that keeps me from completely fulfilling my evil genius tendencies. I cannot give myself over completely to the crazy. Too close to the flames and I start feeling the burn. Once I start getting too far gone I pull the crazy-chute. I quit gymnastics and spent the last 2 years of high school being normal (if you can call normal honor roll, various clubs and activities, varsity diving, and two part time jobs). I quit the crazy job and now work a 40 hour week unless I am required to work more. NaNoWriMo made me throw a tantrum and I haven’t opened up the document since.

That’s one reason I’m trying to take the running at a safe and sane pace – I want to continue for a long time. The 3 runs a week program is feeding both my mega-crazy side (I am positively shredded after each workout) and my eject button side (I never run 2 days in a row), and the time commitment is less insane than last time. So that is mucho bueno.

And the most recent - still around 155 - about to Turkey Trot!

So in summary – I’m just feeling a little bummed about what the scale is saying to me, realizing it’s the last month of 2009, where I was damn sure I was going to find my goal weight and stick with it because I was impossibly close. I have surely found A WEIGHT to stick with, but not the one I was hoping for. I just need to figure out what to do without triggering the crazy – if 1200 calories is good then 1000 calories is better and 750 calories IS BEST and fainting while running means I’m working hard, right? (I’m not there at all, believe me, but I acknowledge that I can get stupid focused to the point of losing my perspective sometimes.) I also don’t want to trigger my eject – the fuck it, I am done with this healthy living bullshit, I am going to do something completely different. I don’t want to go back to stuffing my face and not leaving my apartment unless forced.

Thank you for allowing me to lay on the proverbial couch here and vent. Now, I wanna hear from you. What’s working for you right now? How do you know (or will you know) that you’re at your proper and happy weight? Has there been a time in your life where you were utterly and completely satisfied? Any advice? Since I am broke and can’t afford a nutritionist, life coach, head shrinker, or the like, I turn to you – internetties!

Rainbows and sunshine next post, I promise!

Second Half Marathon Training: Week 3

By Quix

On December 7, 2009

In Half Marathon Training

Again, I loathe to call this week 2. Why? Because I got my dumb bunny butt sick last Sunday and have been recovering, so it’s week 2 out of 2 I haven’t done the proper training on the proper schedule. However, considering the half is 10 weeks away whether I do it or not, here we go.

Last week’s plan went to crap so let’s just examine what I did:

Monday – sick. Barely made it through work. Was in no condition to do anything but lay on the couch and go to sleep around 9pm.

Tuesday – still sick, but not quite as much. I needed to move around so I did about 80% intensity DDR for about 30 mins.

Wednesday- felt better, but was snotty and coughy, so I stayed out of the gym for the sake of other people. If it wasn’t freezy outside I would have run but I didn’t want to aggravate the cold. Did 30 mins full intensity DDR instead.

Thursday – felt good enough to gym. Did 4 miles, allowed myself to go as slow as I wanted even though it was supposed to be my tempo. Got bored going supah slow and ended up around 10:20 pace. Could have gone faster too, but I didn’t have a rest day between runs so I took it as easy as I would let myself without going insane.

Friday- felt good and did my 6 mile long run for the week. Came in at a 10 min/mile pace. I’m supposed to be long running at around 9:40 so considering I still had the phlegm going on, I won’t complain.

Weekend – fail. Was supposed to do a 4×800 sprint session, or at least put in the miles, but I just rested.

So, considering I came down with the funk and sounded mostly like a dying narwhal all week, I feel like I did ok. I still have some congestion going on, but feel 100% healthy, so it’s time to pick up the pace. So, I present to you, Week 3!

Monday: warmup, 3×1600 @ 8:25 pace, cooldown.

Tuesday: DDR circuits (weights, I has missed you!)

Wednesday: 5 mile tempo @ 8:55 per mile (eeep – I didn’t even race this fast)

Thursday: DDR circuits (or equivalent gym type activities)

Friday: 7 mile run @ 9:40 per mile (yipes. Just…yipes)

Weekend: rest

Yoga shall be done twice this week. Whenever I can fit it in.

To be quite honest, the paces scare the crap out of me. But I figure the next few weeks I’m going to slog through them and see how close I can get (since I have a day of not-running after each), and then later, if my body still doesn’t wanna move so fast, adjust my expectations for my half time. This is the first week that *should* go as planned so cross your fingers for me! The weather is not cooperating well with my happy fun outside time, but considering I continually feel BETTER and FASTER when I get to run outside than when I get on a treaddy, I think it’s less key this time around than when I had barely ever run outside.

Other Things of Thingeeness:

-After my diatribe on smoking, I went 7 full days without one, and didn’t feel so crave-y until the alcohol came out Saturday. I think I was fairly responsible and didn’t have too many, and haven’t had one since. The cold weather helps. I think the goal will continue to be no smokes during non party times unless I’m crazy for one, and if I am, I should examine why (is it habit, stress, trying to suppress appetite, etc). During party time, keep it to one smoke per drink, max (and not use that as an excuse to start chugging drinks).

-I haven’t touched my book. I’m feeling burnt out in general, but definitely in terms of writing. I’m giving myself a little leeway here this month but it’s definitely one of my resolutions.

-We hung our Christmas lights on Saturday! Along with our tree, and old timey holiday music going all day, my little bah humbug heart grew at least 2 sizes.

-It really hit me Friday how gosh darn broke we are this month. Two weeks forced unpaid leave for Zliten at the end of the month, 6 months of car insurance coming due the 22nd (high time we get a better deal on car insurance), other bills, some dental work, gifts, etc etc. Considering we DO have 2 weeks off together for the first time in forever, we don’t want to just sit at home. So for the next 2 weeks, it’s cook/hang out at home palooza (a positive spin on something otherwise known as eating out/drinking out = banned)! We really sat down and looked for yummy recipes we’re excited about. Some are a little heartier and higher calorie, but these are the sacrifices I make so Zliten doesn’t pout too badly. Luckily, we’ve got a work party and 2 friend parties so we’re not going to feel *too* antisocial. We have some really cool plans for our time off and don’t want to have to cancel them!

-Also in that vein, I have given up clothes shopping for the month of December. I originally said that I would give up clothes for the month (which got a “woohoo” from Zliten), but that would be cold. So unless my only pair of nude nylons gets a run or somehow I am in need of something for running I cannot live without, no fashion related purchases until 2010. I know, I’m crying a little on the inside too.

-Oh, if anyone’s curious about my weight (yeah, didn’t think so), I’m still hanging out right around that 154 range. As always, I’m making the effort to eat healthily the majority of the time, and y’all know my workouts are hardcore, but my body just doesn’t want to budge. I counted my calories last week just as practice, but it’s reinforcing what I knew I would be at – about 1400 during the week, about 1800-2000 weekends. Which I think is reasonable and think that it seems like cruel and unusual torture to drop below. I’ve been doing some thought on that but I’ll save it for another navel gazing day.

I think that just about wraps it up. Everyone have a good weekend? What’s your #1 on your holiday wishlist from Santa?

Adjusted Reality

“Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.” – Mark Twain

Author: Quix Page 171 of 217

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