Adjusted Reality

“Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.” – Mark Twain

Category: Uncategorized Page 178 of 211

Things on my head, things in my head…

Things In My Head:

So normally every Monday I post this mathematically anal and precise summary of what I did last week and what I am going to do this week.  There are calories in, and calories out.  To be honest, Friday it started to drive me crazy.  I’m not making the progress I want anyway.  4 day workout weeks were interesting, but just not working for me as well as they used to.  I’m still hanging out in that silly little 153-155 (ignoring the scale today because it is mean and way outside the norm) range I can’t shake, no matter how much the numbers say I should be moseying away from it.

So I’m going to, for at least this week, do it a little more organically.  I am going to eat (mindfully) what I goddamn feel like, and focus on what my body is trying to tell me it needs.  Focus on good whole foods and fruits and veggies and good proteins and fats and the like.  I took the entire weekend off working out (Friday, Saturday, Sunday) minus walking pretty close to 1000 miles shopping (ok, so maybe only about 8 or so but still).  When your friend asks for his birthday present to relax and not workout, you oblige.  I am adopting a workout plan for this week, but only because I am racing (just a little local unofficial one) on Saturday morning.

Today: 5k easy run, weights

Tues: 5k for pace (26 minutes plzplz?) and yoga

Wednesday: DDR and weights

Thursday: 5k run with timed mile #2 (7:10 plzplz?) and yoga

Friday: Rest

Saturday: Race!

Still a pretty kick ass week, but spread out a little more, and no long run.  Will resume distance next week because I really enjoy that long run, but this week it’s all about trying to prep for a PR!

Still things in my head:

So we’re in a all wedding, all the time stage of the game here at La Tete de Quix, considering in 2 weeks and 4 days I’ll be on a plane to Vegas.  We are making huge strides in finalizing everything, but I still have these main things to deal with:

  • The reception details.  The coordinator is just impossible to get ahold of and we have a lot of questions.   I think it will be a pretty quick phone call because we have all the main stuff dealt with, but I feel a little ill at ease not having some of the stuff like decorations, dance floor, audio setup, and cake stuff dealt with.
  • Final touches on my ensemble.  I need to finish figuring out my makeup and do some more trial runs.  The first run I loved at first but then realized it was a little too dark for a day tropical wedding.  Also, I’ve been researching how to get my hair to do what I want (beachy waves, mostly down, maybe some braids, flowers, etc).  My maid of honor was going to do my hair and makeup, but she said she was nervous about getting it right, so I’m looking into doing it myself, or at least knowing EXACTLY what I want so I can enlist help getting the curling iron around the back of my head and such.   Also, still kinda want some sort of tropical flower brooch possibly to go on the front of the dress.   I think though… that’s it!
  • Reception timeline and playlist.  We’re not going with a DJ or band – we’re bringing the mp3 player loaded with a playlist and getting a friend to sorta be “master of ceremonies”.  So that being that, we need to spend a bunch of time downloading songs and figuring out what of the traditional things we want to do and when.

Geez, I think that’s about it.  After all the things still outstanding last week, I feel much better about everything.

Finally, things ON my head:

So after doing a bunch of hair research (did I really just say hair research?  heh) I found a freaking awesome little tool on the In Style site.  Seriously, make sure you have an hour or two to waste and give it a click.  Some highlights:

This one is actually one of my favorites.  I don’t necessarily want this cut for the wedding, but it’s pretty close to that “I’ll have this look someday” picture in my head with the dark hair with red highlights, bangs, and a little longer than shoulder length.  I’ll have to make sure that this one doesn’t make me look horrid if I do my normal bedhead hairdo (which, perhaps, if I looked that nice with some effort, might happen less often but let’s be honest, priority #1 in the morning is my workout, not the curling iron), but I might go for it later this year.  The nice thing about hair – it grows back (and mine grows fast).

Ok, enough of that, onto wedding ideas…

Here are some of the styles that are just about almost right.  The far left has braids like I was playing with, but I think I want a little more of my hair up.  Middle – I can ALMOST get my hair to do that, but I can’t quite get the volume and it just doesn’t look as nice.  That one would be fun too because I could probably get away with an extra flower in back.  Also, if this could be my natural color, I might possibly give my left arm.  Right, I like the waves at the bottom better than the one before it, but I like the top part of the other one better. Bottom – I like the curls but it needs something else to it.

I went ahead and tried their makeup generator too, and it left me looking about 10 years older.  Do please ignore that part of it, but I think the flower will work.  I wanted them all over my hair but I think that more than one flower/clump will be overkill.  I think I want more of a “half up” type style more than what’s going on here, but I like the wispy, fresh from the beach style that’s there.  For some reason, this picture screams glamour shots.  Remember those?  I never got them but I was always jealous of the girls who did…

Anywhoo, here’s more fun!  Man, I wish I could be as cute as Zooey in her do (fourth), but I’m actually amazed I can pull of Charlize’s (third) as well as am there.   Enjoy, but don’t tell your bosses where you got the idea.  In fact, don’t tell mine.   Have a great Monday – how’s your hair today?  Should I go for that first cut?  How’s your hair?  What would you do with it if you could just have a stylist appear?

Am I Normal? Part 1 – Eating Habits

This picture has nothing to do with the topic. But it made me LOL heartily. So deal!

There were some really awesome blog posts about the fitbloggosphere about getting one’s ass up and workouting even though you might totally not be into it.  At all.  Like doing the dishes sounds way funner.  And Zliten knows how much I LOVE and keep up with doing dishes.  I must have missed the day they handed out the gene where funny smells in the kitchen bothered me.  Same with the day they handed out the  skinny gene.  What was I saying?  Oh – yeah.  Some great posts.  I needed them a lot and wanted to first say thank you thank you thank  you.  Instead of skipping my cardio goodness last night I went for a wonderful run outside because the weather was fantastic and said “hello” to the cute yellow house with the red door and saw that the tiny public pool is empty again (never got to go, sadface), and the school and the churches and all the beautiful trees.

But that’s not the posts that really got in my head this week.  There’s been a lot of “what’s normal” posts.  It’s got me wondering – what’s “normal” (health and fitness-wise) and where do my habits fall?  Well, let’s go frolic around google and see what it has to say…

What Is Normal Eating?:

First, a sparkpeople article had this quiz (Correct answer in bold, my comments in italics.):

1. (True) or False: It is normal to eat when you are hungry and stop when you feel satisfied.

Easier said than done, at least at the beginning of a change in lifestyle.  I can now trust myself to listen to my body most of the time to maintain my weight, but 2 years ago?  I had no idea what satisfied meant.  My satisfied then was stuffed.  I didn’t know that it was normal to stop eating until you could barely stand.

2. (True) or False: People should trust their food preferences to guide them in making healthy food choices.

Obviously – just like Atkins was a big fail for me, because I’m not a huge meat eater to begin with, you won’t succeed being restricted to all but a few things you hate.

3. True or (False): To lose weight, you must adhere to strict goals for daily calorie intake and exercise.

The comments here are about having one “bad” day and having to make up for it.  I think that it’s true that you’re not going to blow it FOREVER by overeating one day, but if you don’t adhere to your goals most of the time you’ll be in trouble.  Think this one is a little misleading.

4. True or (False): It is abnormal to eat for any reason other than meeting your body’s nutrition and energy needs.

It’s nice that sparkpeople recognizes that having dinner with friends or going out for margaritas or whatnot as a normal part of life.  One of my big stipulations on starting to remove the fluffy layers was that it could not make me socially retarded and unable to eat/drink in public with friends.   All those no alcohol no white food no carb no fun diets are perhaps great for the more dedicated, but that’s just not me.

5. True or (False): “Good” foods should be eaten regularly and “bad” foods should be avoided as much as possible.

I do like that they don’t vilify any food and make the comment that a healthy body has the ability to use and process just about anything – just in small amounts.  There are just “always” foods and “sometimes” foods and “special occasion” foods.  And that can change.  Peanut butter used to be a “special occasion” food, but now that I can control myself around it, it’s now a “sometimes” food.

6. True or (False): Since you have to eat fewer calories than you burn to lose weight, you should expect to be a little hungry most of the time.

I feel hungry at certain points of the day.  Generally, an hour before lunch, I begin to feel peckish and then hungry and sometime before I begin to nibble on my desk, I head to lunch.  I get peckish in the afternoon and sometimes my fruit is enough and sometimes it isn’t.   However,  I rarely eat a full meal though and not feel full though, so I’m pretty much in agreement with this one.  I think it’s normal to get hungries.  I used to be terrified of hungries so I’d overeat at meals.  It’s silly – I mean, OMG I worked in an office with a vending machine and had snacks in my drawer, WHAT WOULD I DO if, dear fluffy lord, I felt HUNGRY?  Now I know that I don’t really need to worry about it.   Hunger isn’t the end of the world.  And if I’m REALLY HUNGRY there is a rare time that something healthy-ish to nosh on isn’t within my reach.

This was my next stop and it was a doozy.  Some good quotes quoted by the author.  My comments still in italics.

Ellyn Satter writes (EDIT: and I think I recognize this being quote on Feed Me I’m Cranky – in fact I think she got to this very topic a few weeks ago.  Sorry for the yoink and thanks for the idea…):

“Normal eating is going to the table hungry and eating until you are satisfied. It is being able to choose food you like and eat it and truly get enough of it—not just stop eating because you think you should.

I am not normal in this respect.  I have to impose some sort of mental idea of how much food I can eat or I WAY overeat.  My brain is trained to recognize a serving size now, but if someone held a gun to my head and said “eat until you feel full”, it would be MUCH MUCH more.  I eat fast, and it takes me an extra long time for the fullness to kick in.  So yeah, I have to stop eating because I think I should or I’ll be 2000 lbs again.

Normal eating is being able to give some thought to your food selection so you get nutritious food, but not being so wary and restrictive that you miss out on enjoyable food.

Yes, yes, this is good.  I am normal here.  I trend towards good healthy stuff that makes my body feel good, but don’t skip out on yummy, not so healthy food of which I can enjoy a small portion (delicious homemade birthday cake last week, for example).

Normal eating is giving yourself permission to eat sometimes because you are happy, sad or bored, or just because it feels good.

Slippery slope here.  Not sure I agree that it should be normal to emotionally eat.  I’ve worked very, very hard to not eat because I have nothing better to do or have had a bad day at work and I “deserve” a burger and fries.  If this is normal, I’m that weird cousin at the party looking creepily on as everyone laughs and jokes.

Normal eating is mostly three meals a day, or four or five, or it can be choosing to munch along the way.

Eating how YOU feel comfortable eating.  Not just set breakfast lunch and dinner, or in 6 little meals because someone tells you it’s the right thing to do.  Like it.  Feel it.

It is leaving some cookies on the plate because you know you can have some again tomorrow, or it is eating more now because they taste so wonderful.

Um, how about “having a small portion of the cookie and savoring it, but knowing that cookies are probably not something you should eat every day”?  No?  Ok… then not normal.

Normal eating is overeating at times, feeling stuffed and uncomfortable. And it can be undereating at times and wishing you had more.

Hate them both now.  They both make me feel poopy.  I definitely try to stay between satiated and mildly hungry as the extremes don’t do anything beneficial for me.

Normal eating is trusting your body to make up for your mistakes in eating. Normal eating takes up some of your time and attention, but keeps its place as only one important area of your life.

Well, I see this now, just lately.  I overate, and then I was so full of energy I*JUST*HAD*TO*WORKOUT unlike most people/me before, where I’d just food coma on the couch.  When I workout too much and don’t eat enough, I get SUPER FATIGUED and C-C-COLD which tells me to rest and chow on something, dummy.  Eating, however, does take a lot of my time and attention.  I plan my meals for the week, make a grocery list, go shopping, and then do my best to stick to the plan and track what I eat.  I know this is not normal.  Eventually I will give up the tracking.  I just think that I’ll never really be able to go without a meal plan.  It’s just convenient to know what I’m going to eat, so it takes the hemming and hawing out of what to do each day.

In short, normal eating is flexible. It varies in response to your hunger, your schedule, your proximity to food and your feelings.”

Karly Randolph Pitman writes:

I eat foods that make me feel good. I like a steak every now and then. A pizza is a favorite treat. I love colorful salads. Risotto is my idea of heaven. These things make me feel good, so I eat them. Sugar makes me depressed and wacks me out. Fried eggs give me the willies. Too many fake foods—think lots of processing and packaging—make me feel icky. So I usually abstain.

Yay!  I have found that even some not-so-healthy things like a good quality burger and fries or a slice or two of deep dish pizza or a mexican combo plate, in conjunction with the rest of the day balancing it out with nice healthy food, make me feel good.  Some things like a morning donut or fast food or certain chinese buffets make me feel icky, so I skip them.

I eat what I really want. What I want to eat today may be different tomorrow. What I want in the winter may be different than what I crave in the summer. How nice that I can choose; that I don’t have to eat the same four things from a “good foods” list over and over again. Right now I’m in a raw fruit and vegetable phase, stemming from the heat wave we’re currently experiencing. But as the weather cools I crave warm, cooked vegetables and hearty soups. A few weeks ago, when my baby was going through a growth spurt (I’m a nursing mother), I had a hankering for nuts and nut butter. I followed my craving, got a spoon, and dove into the almond butter, without any guilt, shame, remorse or thoughts of calories.

Sorry, not normal here.  I almost was down with it and then the “thoughts of calories” thing came up.  If I dove into the nut butter with a spoon (or more likely my fingers) like that, I’d not be happy with the results.  I suppose if I was in a “raw fruits and vegetable phase” I wouldn’t really have any issues, but I fully expect to keep my figure for the rest of my life, I will have to have some conscious idea of how many calories I am consuming even if I am not specifically tracking each bite.

I enjoy my food. I love food. I always have. And I’ve come to glory in that, rather than feel ashamed by it. Who started the lie, anyway, that women shouldn’t have an appetite? I’ve always had a hearty appetite, especially when I’m exercising regularly and nursing, as I am now. I have no qualms about getting a second helping, rather than undereating to be socially acceptable.

Totally.  I have an appetite.  I eat like I workout – attacking my prey (whether it be the treadmill or that plate of food).  Just like I missed the skinny gene, or the kitchen smelly gene, I missed the “eat daintily” boat too.  Food is to be eaten, not played with.

To sum it up:  I am not normal but I’m getting there.  I have 2 years of practicing how to be a normal, healthy eater under my belt and have had success maintaining a healthy lifestyle when I take the training wheels off for a while and intuitively eat, I don’t do too badly.  It still takes some thought though, and that’s apparently NOT normal.  I’m well aware that normal eating doesn’t involve running to a web page to enter food every time you eat, but I think it should involve mindfully thinking: is this good for my body?  If it’s not, then do I really want it?  If I do, then will it fit in my day (maybe I’m craving a milkshake, but if I ate pizza earlier, it probably needs to wait for a different day)?

Maybe normal eating means that happens naturally.  I’m getting there, but it’s still conscious.  How about you?  Do you eat normally?  What do you consider normal eating?


So Much To Say…

…but it’s not flowing.  So it’s a FIVE RANDOM THINGS day and a short one at that.

1.  I haven’t taken my measurements since July, and apparently gaining some weight also meant losing an INCH on my waist and half an inch on my bicep (which I am still deciding if that’s a good thing or a bad thing).  So crazy.  So even though I’m up a bit, I am still making some progress.  I may not be in the normal BMI category, but I am now in the low risk hip to waist ratio (by .01!  Take that, inverted triangle body!)

2.  I did my best mile ever again on Monday afternoon – 7:18.  If you’ll remember, my best mile time before about a month ago was 7:50 – a record I set in 8th grade.  I beat that and have been whittling the time down each week – 7:35, then 7:27… now I just have 19 seconds to shave off to beat my goal of a mile under 7 minutes.  I want to try to do it by the end of September.  What’s NOT going as well is whittling down my 5k time.  I wanted to get under 25 minute but the best I’ve run so far is 26:40.  I just haven’t been able to really find the right pacing so I don’t die by the end.  I’m targetting a little unofficial 5k in a week and a half so I can put myself to the test then.

3.  Three weeks from tomorrow I will be getting on the plane to head to Vegas, and three weeks from Sunday we get married.  It feels like there is so much left to do, but I think it’s just me freaking out.  There’s not that much left to do.  I mean, we just have to finalize the guest count and finalize the flowers/decorations/ceremony/music and make a playlist for the reception and get Zliten his shirt and order the favors and…geez, this isn’t making me feel better AT ALL.  Moving along…

4.  Work is going well so far with the new and crazy.  Still a lot of unknowns but I’m feeling less like my brain is moving at the speed of molasses and operating at 2 year old level.  Sad to say that I can’t talk specifics for a LONG time, but I’m really looking forward to the day when I can.  I do have my hand in 3 different projects right now but I like rolling like that.

5.  This week and the rest of the weekend stand to be pretty mellow, but Friday night is both the next Yelp Elite party (this time, it’s a cocktail contest!) and a good friend’s birthday.  We are heading to Fogo De Chao.  Yeah, that’s unlimited meat on swords you see there.  I am still debating between splurging it up good or just ordering the salad/sides bar which looks super yummy too.

5b.  I’d talk about my bachelorette party but I don’t have any pictures yet!  Most of the pictures were taken on disposable cameras so waiting for someone to develop and scan them might take a while.  Let it be known though that it was a blast!  There was dancing and drinking and penis cake and lingerie gifts and great times with great girls.  Oddly enough, I felt just fine the next day and I think everyone else was more hung over than I was (lots of water between shots and dancing the liquor out = ok next day).

Happy hump day!  Tell me something random about your week!

Happy Labor Day!

ROFLMAO!!!

ROFLMAO!!!

Since it’s a day off work, I will make this quick.  Have to fit a lot of workouting/errands in before a bbq later today.  This week was a 4 day workout  week, and I did the workouts as planned EXCEPT I ditched out on the yoga both days in  favor of stretching in front of the TV.  Not great for me to do, but I guess when the workouts can last up to 2 hours, it makes sense that I want to BE DONE ALREADY.  The actual workouts themselves have been awesome, but I forgot about this part of long workouts – I dread them.  It’s much easier to get myself up off the couch to do 30 mins of *something* and I usually end up doing more.  Right now, I’m sitting here trying to talk myself into the whole “it’s a holiday, so give yourself a break” mentality because a 5k, 15 mins on the arc trainer, and a full set of weights sounds like a hell of a lot of LABOR.

The great part is the 3 days off per week.  I felt stronger in the gym when I was lifting on Thursday because Wednesday I did nothing.  I had actually gone over 2 weeks without a full day off and my body was getting tired.  I relished the ability to take Friday and Sunday off guilt free!  So, it’s a tradeoff.  I think it’s one I like, so I am going to stick with it again this week.  But first, last week’s numbers:

Calories in: 1842 per day average (1742+100 for error)

Calories out: 535 per day average

Calories total:  1307

Total average deficit per day: 717

Heighest weight last week: 155.6

Lowest weight last week: 154.2

So yet another week where it appears that I’m at a huge (but still sane) deficit and have lost no weight.  Boo.  However, I think I’ve made peace that I’m at the size I’m going to be for my wedding.  I’m not all of a sudden going to start losing weight.  There is something my body needs to work through and we will figure it out in due time.  The only arbitrary date I had that I wanted to skinnify for was the big day.  That was actually a huge factor in my weight loss starting – I didn’t want to be a fat bride and wasn’t going to get married until I took care of the problem.  I think getting about 90% of the way there is good enough for me to be happy about and will still shock the hell out of my extended family when they see me.

This week’s plan for workouts is (essentially) the same as last week’s:

Today: 5k run, 15 mins arc trainer, full weights

Tomorrow: 6 mile run, yoga

Thursday: 5k run, 15 mins arc trainer, full weights

Saturday: 60 mins DDR, full weights, yoga

Now, off to start today’s workout!  I may be dreading it, but that’s no excuse to skip it…

On Self Sabatoge

Imagine your dream.  No, not the delicious turkey sandwich you’re dreaming of for lunch, but something that has been a long term, professional and/or personal dream.  Maybe you just got handed a publishing contract for your new book.  Maybe you finally qualified for the Boston Marathon.  Maybe you found the perfect love of your life.  What’s the last thing you’d expect your reaction would be?  That’s right, running away and screaming.

So why is that my first instinct everytime I get the opportunity for something cool?

On my super exciting news I won’t be able to talk about for years and years, I was rightfully super excited the first day after I found out, and then after – I realized I felt lost and very self-doubting.  Zliten was pretty incredulous how blah I was being about it.  I spent a while berating myself about it.  When did I become the kind of person that was more comfortable being mediocre?  When did I become the kind of person that is afraid of success?  At what point in my life did I stop wanting to reach for the stars?  Then there was the frustration at how long it was taking me to think things through.  When did I become so rusty?  Am I just too old to be a rockstar?  Is this not really what I want anymore?

All of a sudden, it dawned on me.  It’s just like when I hit the gym after a looooong hiatus 2 years ago.  When I got back on the eliptical for the first time, it was FRUSTRATING as hell that something that once came so easy to me was now like trudging through mud.  Running my first mile took almost a year and I just about collapsed dead after.  Doing a pushup from my toes took over a year and I certainly wasn’t just busting out 3 sets of 25 like I am now.  All things I’ve done before.  All things I am better at now than I was before ever in my life.  I was just out of practice and it took time.

One I realized this, I felt much, much better and was able to make some progress.  I’m still feeling very slow but it’s ok.  It’s not a switch I can flip, and I don’t think my bosses expect that.  I have some time to get my head where it needs to be.  Just as I don’t expect perfection (though I strive for it) in my eating and exercising habits, I don’t need to hold myself to an unreasonable standard in other aspects of life.

Now, I’m excited and optimistic, as I should be.  Still have a little bit of the butterflies but those will clear away once things get settled.  And that’s an awesome way to go into a three day weekend.  What other areas of your life can YOU apply the lessons you’ve learned in forging your way into a healthy lifestyle?  Anyone got super awesome plans for the long weekend?

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