Adjusted Reality

Fish, rice, and veggies is typically a once a week staple in our house.  This is one of the newer versions we made, because, well, this kind of fish tastes great baked in the oven, whereas most versions tastes best on the BBQ, and when we made it, it was cold!

It is so freshly out of the oven, it’s still steaming in the picture.

As for the recipes, Zliten actually entered them on the spark site, so let me direct you there.  I think the only other thing, which may be a “duh” to most people – but make sure the fish is thawed.

The fish, which is delish…

The rice, which is very nice…

Add to the plate a good smattering of veggies, and you have a super great fantastic healthy meal – about 500 calories for a big slab of tilapia, a cup of rice, and the rest of the plate full of veggies.  Although as a pisces it almost seems cannibalistic to eat fish and enjoy it so much, I think I’ll get over it.

p.s.  Yes, it has white rice in the picture.  If you’re anti-white stuff, just sub brown rice.  I know some people tout brown rice as awesome for you and white rice horrible-terrible-no good, but I believe the only difference is the fiber count.  And it flips some people’s “eat everything carby in the house” switch, but I guess I don’t have that.  And I get quite enough fiber, thank you!  I dunno, I know in my heart of hearts it’s better for me, and I actually quite like it, but Zliten doesn’t – so we alternate.  And variety is the spice of life, so it’s good.

Besides being one of the best David Bowie songs ever, it’s what we did last night, said hallo to the spaceboy Richard Garriot.  We headed to the imax theatre downtown for a night of all things astronaut-y.  First, we watched a 3-d movie filmed shortly before he went up to the space station.

Wow.  Just wow.

I spent the whole movie feeling like I was 10 years old, alternating between my mouth being agape, and a shit-eating grin on my face.  Zliten is a space nut, we used to fall asleep watching the Nasa channel in San Diego, any space documentary, he’d just be glued to it.  Of course, I think space is cool as hell and I’d love if in my lifetime there was commercial flights to the moon.  But seeing it in 3-d (and wow, 3-d has gotten better since I was a kid) was just… awe inspiring.  Words just cannot describe how cool that was, so I’ll just stop babbling about it.

Then, Richard gave a presentation on his background, his involvement in the privatization of space travel, and his experience training for and going up to the space station.  I knew his father was a cosmonaut, I knew he invested in it, but I didn’t know he was one of the founders of the x prize, and I didn’t know how dedicated he had been to wanting to be an astronaut all his life.  I knew a lot about his video game history, but it was pretty cool to hear more about the space part of his life.  Ya know.  Someone I’ve met.  Someone Zliten has actually worked with.  Someone that I’ve done a dive off his second floor balcony jump spot into his pool at a party has also gone into space.  Somehow, the millions he’s made in video games didn’t really starstrike me the way this did.

I guess what I could take away from this is – if this guy had the dream of going into space, and found out that he couldn’t do it in the capacity that many could because of his eyesight, he just kept trying to create another way.  He could have just been accepting of his fate, but he wasn’t.  Someone closed a door, he just kept knocking on all the rest of them.  Sure, he came from a cosmonaut-artist-scientist family, but he’s obviously not just a trust fund kid.  He was making a company in his parents basement in college selling his video game in college when I was getting myself into debt drinking and partying.

I sometimes – not regret because I love where I’ve ended up – but wonder where I would have ended up if I would have taken some different roads.  I could have gotten into some really good schools with my grades and scores, but I couldn’t decide where to go so I just stayed in town and went to the state school in Reno.  I could have continued on with gymnastics and seen where it took me, same with diving – I was actually offered a small diving scholarship and spot on a college team which I turned down for various reasons.  I wonder what would have happened if I would have stayed on with SOE and in San Diego (just a little, that’s one decision I’m pretty sure I made correctly just for health reasons).  If only I had a “what if” machine…

However, it really hit home last night that a lot of doors I’ve always thought were closed to me at the ripe old age of 29 – well, they’re only because I think they are.  I’m probably not going to try to take up gymnastics again pushing 30, but nothing is stopping me heading to a pool and getting back on the diving board.  Maybe I could even be the one to start an adult diving league here in Austin.  Same with all the other fun/active things I used to do before I left college, became a sedentary blob, and packed on weight.

It’s a really good feeling to be going into my 30’s (my birthday is March 3rd by the way) lighter and fitter than at any other time in my life since I quit gymnastics.  I actually think I might be stronger in different areas, I surely have never been able to run 5+ miles before in my life.  As my resolutions definitely enforce, I just need to figure out what I’m going to tackle, and focus!

And hey, maybe one day I’ll go to space too.  I hear that you lose weight up there.  Bonus!

So, as this week has been incredibly busy, I’m going to bust out some of the best, funny, or insightful things I wrote elsewhere over the last few years.  Enjoy!

Seriously, I’m stretching today.  First, you got the awesome rah-rah go me post, then some workaholic memories, then my rant (sometimes, I miss the capability to get so angry and coherent at the same time, tee he), and today, I’m just spent.  So in the vein of my 5 random things, here is 10 random things about me, from last year, February 28th to be exact.

10 Random Things About Me…

Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 random things, facts, goals, or habits about yourself.  There was some crap here about being tagged, but I deleted it! If you want to share 10 interesting things about yourself in the comments, go for it!  If you want to steal it as blog fodder, be my guest!  Ok, here we go, random things about me…..:

10 – Elevators make me a little uneasy.  I’ll use them without a problem, but I am always thinking in the back of my head if it’s been serviced properly.
9 – I employ proper hygene simple as a courtesy to others, not because I really care about it.
8 – If I am leaving the house, I feel naked without a choker, hoop earrings, lipstick, and either my glasses or sunglasses (of course, along with the obligitory clothing).  Everything else is optional.
7 – I would probably be just as happy never driving my own car again if I could afford a driver.
6 – I am meticulous about the laundry being done and put away properly, but pretty much anything else in the house can go to shit for weeks without me caring.
5 – I have a hard time breaking into take my turn in a conversation, so occasionally I’ll say things that made sense 5 minutes ago with really chatty people and they will think I’m weird.
4 – I start picking up chat mannerisms very quickly after hanging out with people on a frequent basis, and it’s very, very involuntary.  I’m very impressionable I guess.
3 – I used to do it when I was younger and just started again…I pick out my clothes and lay them out by my bed or it takes me forever to get ready in the morning.
2 – I wear my fruit stickers like a badge of honor.  For instance, today I am a granny smith apple 4139!
1 – I am often curious about what people think about me, but really don’t care as long as I’m happy with myself.

Next week, I hope to get back to normal with some new topics.  Have a great weekend, interwebs!

So, as this week is looking to be incredibly busy, I’m going to bust out some of the best, funny, or insightful things I wrote elsewhere over the last few years.  Enjoy!

***Warning – flagrant use of foul language ahead.  More than the usual.  So if something like “fuck-faced cock sucking whore” just offended you, ya might just turn back now and come back later for the usual, more inspirational fare.***

Anywhoo, now that I got that out of the way, this was a post I made to my LiveJournal after a really rough day at work.  I had someone, to my face, tell me essentially my project was worthless.  Being that I’m public about where I was working and what I was working on at that time, I don’t want to say more than that.  However, three and a half years later, I can surely post the rant.  I’m simply impressed with the utter rage I was able to channel.  I’m normally a very happy person.  Only very very occasionally do I run faster on the treadmill simply because I’m imagining someone special’s face underneath each footstep (and the more I run, the more I can kick them in the face!).  Enjoy – and remember what happens when you get on my bad side…

Wednesday, July 6th, 2005
7:56 pm

Fuck you.
No, Really.  Fuck you.

You know who you are. Who the fuck do you think you are? I know who you are, but WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO BE SUCH AN UNABASHED ASSHAT WITH NO REMORSE?

Who do you think you are to invalidate anything that doesn’t facilitate you snorting coke from a hooker’s back and drinking the piss of Gods. I mean, if you piss 1/3 of my salary like you so eliquently said today, it must be high quality piss for sure. I mean, you should bottle that shit and sell it like Evian. Perhaps then you won’t have to worry about this petty thing called your fucking job, or anything called common decency, tact, respect.. You’re a fucking GOLDEN GOD, asshole.

God forbid you look beyond the narrow scope of your ivory tower and see what the fuck is going on with the world. How dare you make a mockery of what I stand for? Perhaps your shit decisions helped us get in this boat? Is your distaste of passion because you don’t have the courage to do anything useful? Do you go home at night and cry because your life is so empty and alone? Have you fully perfected ignoring your concience? Have you convinced yourself that the laws of karma do not apply to you?

Fuck you for ruining my morning. Fuck you for ruining my ideals that people are generally good. Fuck you, you cock sucking souless shadow of a human being, for distracting my thoughts all day.

Thank you for making me that much more motivated to prove you wrong and show you that I will not be ignored and go quietly into oblivion like you want me to. Thank you for the fire and the vengance I need to show the world just how your brethern can’t keep us down. I’ll do it because you do not have the power to ruin something beautiful. You do not rule over me, if you stand in my way, I’ll find an alternate route. I have the patience, the drive, and the desire to persevere and, indirectly show you just how fucking wrong your money grubbing ass is. Someday, you will be remorseful that you showed me such disrespect and decided today was the day to pick a fight with someone.

Fuck you for illiciting such rage and hatred from me. You must be fucking talented to be able to strike such a discord in me that makes me feel this way. It doesn’t happen very often. You won the fucking lotto. Hooray for you!

Eat shit and die. Your blatant disregard for the little guy shows just how shallow you are. In a short amount time you will be but a speck in my memory. A little bit of fuel for that evil side of the fire that drives me. I hope you’re happy that you looked like a fucking crybaby asshat in front of your peers today. I know I’m not your “peer” yet, but the others were. I hope your fucking satisfied solidifying the fact that you are a complete and utter stain on the human race.

I will drink away the disdain I feel about this and let it out, and return tomorrow to a semblance of normalcy. You will have to deal with that feeling in the back of your head forever that makes you wonder where you went wrong. While you may try, you cannot stifle the creative spirit and the love of the people who want to create something wonderful.

I’m out. This is not healthy for my soul. I’m done thinking about you and your inadequacies. I hope that you enjoy that corporate grave that you’re digging yourself.

So, as this week is looking to be incredibly busy, I’m going to bust out some of the best, funny, or insightful things I wrote elsewhere over the last few years.  Enjoy!

I talk a lot about my workaholic days and I just recently backed up my LiveJournal and was sifting through entries and found some gems from some of my worst moments.  On one hand, I don’t even remember being that flavor of crazy anymore, and on the other hand, it’s like it was yesterday.  On one hand, I regret nothing and love my semi-balanced kinda life much more now, and on the other, I miss being so dedicated to something with every fibre of my being – I feel so… mundane now somehow.  For better or worse, here it is!

The first three excerpts were from super late nights, the fourth just made me laugh, and the fifth was pretty much an example of every time I traveled – I would book early morning flights and work all night the night before so I could keep caught up.

Thursday, July 21st, 2005
1:45 am
I’ve only been home from work for less that two hours…

I know I should go to bed but dammit I want some time to myself and for enjoyment. Gawd I’m going to hate myself tomorrow. Specially cause I have to do two interviews. I haven’t been on THIS side of it since I was 18. Its going to be weird. Hiring people, I’ve determined, sucks when you have a bunch of talented people that apply, and I’ll be glad when its over.

I shouldn’t have just poured myself my 4th drink. I should be in bed. I should be getting a jump on the very, very rushed day tomorrow if I am going to stay up. If anything, I should be working on the big document I’m supposed to be preparing. Instead I’m drinking. Way to be responsible woman!

I feel myself gaining more confidence. I feel it starting to click. I think that all this happened for a reason and will be ultimately awesome. But right now, I just want it all to go away for a few days, I want to play hookey and go swimming, play some fucking video games, see charlie and the chocolate factory, hit the pub until I’m throwing up outside, and veg on the couch and watch bad tv. Joel watched a WHOLE ANIME SERIES in the time that I’ve either been working late or working from home in the last week. I can count the hours on one hand that I’ve been awake in the last 7 days and not been working in some shape or form.

Is this wrong? Am I crazy? Is it coincidence that every time I just think “fuck it I’m done caring so much” something happens to light the fire under my ass to be megamanical Quix again to get through what I need to get through? Will it ever fall into a rhythm again? I joke so often lately about losing it, am I really going looney? Where does the fine line between batshit crazy and just motivated lie?

Fuck it. I’ll drink whiskey and smoke camels and be irresponsible tonight until I’ve had my fill and let red bull and tylenol be my savior tomorrow. I long for the weekend-full of the fulfillment of things accomplished and time for recreation. Not time stolen from sleep like tonight.

Thursday, December 7th, 2006
10:10 pm
Grrrrrrrrrrr
Just fucking grrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Think I’m going to skip the holiday party this year. Not in the mood to pretend I’m not completely stressed, burnt, and don’t want to go postal on everyone. I am not feeling it, open bar or not.

The one thing I really trusted someone else to do is completely fucked up, and I just found out literally an hour ago. I don’t know how it wasn’t caught, but it’s about a days worth of work, and its way to close to lauch to eat an entire day of mine. I also have to decide how much of it was my fault for not having my nose in it constantly. Oh well, lesson learned. No more missus nice gal for me.

I am ready for launching this puppy, dying for a little while, and re-emerging as the non-frazzled version of the Quix. Too bad it is not that time yet. Soon though. Not soon enough but soon.

Monday, December 4th, 2006
1:13 am
I swear to the purple haze…
1. That I will not work this many hours in a weekend again unless I am releasing an expansion.
2. That I will not forget to take a vacation next year. Hell, I will not forget to take at least TWO non-family visiting vacations totaling at least 3 weeks not counting xmas or comp time after.
3. That I will not back myself into a corner where I cannot ask anyone for help because it would take me longer to explain what I need done than just burn myself out and do it.

And I must remember when I’m busting my chops later for anything that goes wrong, that I did the best damn job I could in the time I had, with the resources I had.

As much as it pains me to say this at 2:10 am on a Sunday night, back to work. Can’t wait for Zliten to get home from Colorado so he can talk some sense into my dumb ass. 😛

Sunday, September 10th, 2006
11:20 pm
Ohhhhh….
I wish I were an oscar meyer weiner
For that is what I’d really like to be
Cuz if I were an oscar meyer weiner
I WOULDNT HAVE TO WORK ALL FUCKING WEEKEND!!!

Sunday, March 26th, 2006
3:43 am
12 hours of sleep last nignt and none tonight = 6 hours per night
So I should be ok. At least in straight math terms :P. We leave in 15 minutes to head to the airport for Reno. I had too much to do today and actually just got work/packing/shopping/etc done with a few minutes ago, so it’s a good think I hadn’t planned on sleeping. I had a hope for a little nap but the realist in me didn’t figure that would happen.

So work has most of the loose ends tied up and I don’t feel COMPLETELY awful and like I’m going to come back to a shitstorm when I get back, but I know worrying about it does no good from hundreds of miles away.