Adjusted Reality

“Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.” – Mark Twain

It’s A Nice Day For A Island Wedding…

So, I think we have established that I am not a wedding person.  My Zliten has been the most wonderful fiance ever and taken on a lot of the work and been involved with just about everything.  Most dudes just want to get down on one knee and the show up at the wedding.  A lot of girls want that too.  Not me.  I have never been in a wedding.  During the period where all my friends were getting married I was working 100 hour weeks.  I did not grow up dreaming about a wedding.  My parents were married at a courthouse.  I just don’t have much experience with wedding-ness.  I have been to weddings but mostly showed up for the free booze to celebrate and didn’t really pay much attention to all the intricacies of it.

That being said, I think we’re mucking our way through it quite well.  First, we picked an island/polenysian/tropical theme so it’s not a black tie affair.  Then, we decided on a Sunday afternoon – it’s cheaper, and also propigates the casual nature.  Then, we booked here:

Here’s what it looks like inside without fancy lighting:

It wouldn’t be much of a tropical wedding in a stuffy chapel, would it?  I don’t have a picture of the inside reception area, but I am assured they have all the decorations necessary to make it a tropical paradise.  So booking it that way took care of everything from the flowers to the food to the cake to the open bar…which is huge for us.  I don’t want to micromanage all that crap.  I want to tell someone that I want orange, teal, and violet as my colors and tell them to make it so.

That still leaves a lot of things for me to think about.  First order of business after booking the event itself was invites and dresses.  We ended up with this:

Sadly, they screwed up the envelopes and sent ones that didn’t match, so I sent those back and they are plain white.  Whatever.  It’s the invites and they don’t have to be PERFECT.  Instead of an RSVP card, we’re doing this:

Ignore the crazy stuff, it’s the front of the POSTCARD we’re sending out to be mailed back to us.  Cheaper postage, cheaper to have made (it was 35 bucks for 100 double sided shipped, and the cheapest I found those damn RSVP cards for was about 100 bucks before shipping!), and fits the theme much better.

Next, the dresses.  Finally settled on these for the bridesmaid dresses:

And, that’s it for now!  Next step is actually getting the invites printed, addressed and off in the mail this weekend, and then at the end of the month when my maid of honor gets back into town, we start playing with hair and makeup and  hair flowers and shoes and veil/no veil and finding me some damn spanxs since I’m going braless (so no “holdmein” action (I found what I want online but want to try it on locally) and perhaps some embellishment for the front of the dress and…


Why didn’t we elope to hawaii again?  Sigh…

Oh, you want to know about my dress?  Well, I finally purchased it last night.  Want pics?  Well, you will have to wait and see for the big day…. I know the suspense MUST be killing you.  I will say that I went with a traditional (not white but very close) dress and didn’t go island crazy.  And apparently one doesn’t usually wait until 2.5 months before to buy the dress as they whisked me away immediately to the alteration room and had the seamstress do her pinning magic.  The alterations cost almost as much as the dress!  Sheesh.  Wish I knew how to sew *grumblegrumble*.

I will however give up the list of the top 5 dresses I *didn’t* pick.

#5 Impregnated with Joy

It is as if I am saying in this picture, “HOW far along does this dress make me look?”  This one was eliminated from the running instantly.  It was gorgeous on the rack, but those thin little straps and the super high waist did NOT work for me.

#4 – Enchantment Under The Sea

I dunno, the top reminded me of seashells covering my boobs.  My consultant Marie was holding back about 2 yards of fabric here in the back because they only had the dress in a 16 or a 4.  I thought it was pretty but knew it would probably be too fancy.  I also wasn’t hot on the color.  I did love the fit, and for another wedding it would have worked, but it too was eliminated immediately.

#3 Sideboob Dress

I loved this one from the front.  It was cute, it showed some nice cleavage, it was on sale, it was sorta tropically, it was on sale, did I mention it was on sale?  It also fit like a dream.  Or so I thought until I reviewed the pictures.

Woah, hello there sideboob!  Aren’t you just a good little sideboob, yes you are.  Oh yes you are.  Anyhoo, immediate disqualification.  No sideboobs allowed at MY wedding.  All sideboobs will be escorted from the premisis.  I think there were 2 dresses very much alike (both on sale, both rife with sideboobage) so I’ll lump them here together.

#2 Can I Change The Theme Of My Wedding (and get plastic surgery rq?)

If the answer was yes to both, then I might have been rocking something like this.  I loved it so from the back.  I am a sucker for corsets.  It even took 2 people to lace me up.

Is it just me or do I have some kick ass back muscles?  Just me?  Darn.  The problem came when I had to face that fact that it was a) not tropical at all and b) strapless.  I had many people assure me that my hulk shoulders and hefty top half would not disqualify me for a strapless dress, so I went ahead and tried it.  I’m glad I got pictures from the back.  The front however was forgettable.

Ignore the runners tan, as I have been informed I am being dragged into a spray tan session a week or so before.  There is just too much shoulder and these odd skin folds between my arms and boobs.  They’ve gotten much better but they still exist.  Also, I haven’t worn a strapless dress in oh, forever, so I’d be constantly pulling it up.  So after much honest dialogue with myself, this one was disqualified.

#1 – Anchor’s Away!

The stripes kinda look sailor-y, don’t they?  No matter.  I went in yesterday to try on this one and the dress I purchased.  It was between the two.  I actually think this one flatters my figure a BIT more than the one I picked, but I think I can fix that with a little spanx.  And a little salad with lite italian skip the fries perhaps.

So that’s it for Quix’s edition of Wedding Spew.  I’d ask for feedback, but since everything is purchased all I want to hear is how awesome it is and other praise lavished on me.  Anyone do a theme wedding before?  Did YOU allow sideboob at your wedding?  Inquiring minds want to know…


My Head Is In The Game


Self Indulgent Navel Gazing Numbers Frenzy


  1. AHAHAHAH Quix, you crack me up! Um, I didn’t know you were getting married! I am a bad blog reader! gah! CONGRATS! I love the bridesmaid dresses and love that you’re not a bridezilla! Will you be mad if I say I actually really liked dress #5 impregnated with joy (and not just because you called it “impregnated with joy” lol).
    You’re quite gorgeous Quix! Congrats again!

  2. cat

    So exciting! I actually liked #5 in the dresses. I can’t wait to see the winner!

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