If We Had (Decaf) Coffee

Whew!  This week is nearing closer to a big deadline at work, one more big marathon training week before shutting it down, and some social/fun stuff going on.  All good stuff, but peeps, I’m super busy-cakes and focus is at a premium right now (isn’t it always?).

I like Carla’s “if we sat down to have (decaf) coffee” (the decaf is my addition) posts, so I’m going to borrow the format.

I’d tell you that due to schedules and weather, we ran 15 miles on the treadmill on Saturday morning/afternoon. 

This was wayyyy harder mentally than physically.  Running is running is running, right?  But staring at the same window or same space on the wall or same bad TV just makes it HARDER. By the end it was MSNBC with a special on some judge filmed for beating his kids – NOT what I want to see at mile 13, thank you!  I prefer cartoons or food network so I can dream about what I’m going to eat after, thxuverymuch.

But, I did it, I did it decently fast, I got faster as I went along, I was able to get on with the rest of my day instead of postponing, and hopefully it will be a +1 increase to my mental toughness Nov 29th.

I’d tell you that HOLY CRAP Nov 29th is coming too fast and can’t come fast enough at the same time.

I’m feeling a little crispy with work and 4 months (minus 2 weeks) being ON specific race prep training all the time.  I’m ready to go out and run 26.2 miles as a yardstick to see where I’m at in Florida.  I also (always in the fall) fight that 6-8 weeks is not enough time to prep for a marathon from 70.3 fitness to rock it, but it’s enough to complete it.  So here we are.

I’d tell you, speaking of work, it’s been a stressful but successful year.

As things are sort of winding down for a bit (please for the love of all that’s dear and fluffy), I’m getting news that the year has gone really well.  I started the year with a new promotion (yay!) more games to focus on (yay!) but let’ say… creative staffing solutions to get the work done (boo!).

There were two choices – allow the staffing changes to affect the projects by being less productive, or kicking ass and being creative, and MacGyvering our way through the year doing way more than expected at the cost of some chaos and stress and stretching and learning and growing.

Because it’s me, I took route 2 because it’s not in my nature to let things wither if I can help it.  All signs are pointing to things having gone pretty swimmingly, and that good deeds will be rewarded.  We shall see.

I would tell you that I’m both ready for the season to change and not at the same time.

I love running in (Austin’s version of) the cold.  I love running in the rain.  I love running under grey skies.  I love the simplicity of this time of year… do I run or do I not (there is no tri)?  I like being able to do a lunch run and then not shower (sorry/not sorry) because I am barely glistening.

But… leaving work every day when it’s dark sucks.  I’m learning to embrace my headlamp and doing lots of night runs, and getting out for walks during the day, but the early nights still just happen all of a sudden and kind of sucks.  Running in the cold is awesome, but getting myself out and going in the cold is kind of rough.  The grey makes it hard to get going.

There’s not a whole lot of awesome going on in terms of playing outside.  No waterpark, no lake (ok, I’m taking an OWS this weekend but ONLY to test a new wetsuit and I don’t expect to last too long), no summer happy fun times.  Though… maybe that’s ok.  It may be time to hibernate for a while.

I’d tell you that I am unhappy with my body right now.

Let’s not get this twisted.  I am thrilled with the feats my body can accomplish.  I’m not in some self-destructive depressive mood over it.

However, I don’t look like me.  It’s rare that I get ready for work or going out and go “damn, I look cute today”.  It ranges from “ugh, whatever I guess I have to wear clothes” to “I guess this doesn’t look TOO horrible today” lately.  I’m dreading holiday parties this year because I LOVE getting dressed up and this year nothing will look good.

While I have run endurance for days (and my speed ain’t too shabby), I feel incredibly sluggish in daily life lately.  I can’t ignore that this might have something to do with the 10-14 extra lbs I’m carrying that came on like ALL OF A SUDDEN.  I mean, marathon training and all, but bleh.

My gums got ALL puffy this dental check like all of a sudden too.  The only thing that really changed in the last 6 months has been my diet and weight.  Hmmm.  Inflammation?

This week, my mid-section is doing this puffy, irritated, sore, water balloon thing where I wake up in the middle of the night and need to either ice it or ibuprofen it to get back to sleep.  This might be compounding the sluggish.  I’m not sure if this is related to doing the dozen for the first time in 2 weeks and just being a whole bag of DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness), or more manifestations of this new eating regiment (or maybe just *something* I ate?).

So, thus continues the attempt to figure out how the fuck to be an endurance athlete and have a happy body and not be 2000000 lbs, which somehow everyone else in the world has figured out besides me.

I don’t need any encouragement here.  I know I look different (in the wrong direction) from how I looked a few months ago and it’s on me for jumping on an experiment that didn’t really work out.  I don’t need anyone saying “but you look FINE” or “10 lbs doesn’t matter”.  I don’t need anyone to come sit with me in my tent of feeling super schlumpy.  I’ll figure it out and emerge eventually.  This is just where I am right now.

I’d tell you I’m a *little* worried about my iguana.

She ripped off a toenail and was bleeding everywhere two weeks ago.  She was fine and spent some time on painkillers and is not eating much (’tis the season for it, but not quite THIS little) and is being very nomadic all over the house.  That in and of itself is not bad, but she is supposed to get certain types of light for 6-8 hours a day, and if she doesn’t go to them… sigh.

Pretty sure she just needs some iguana ex-lax and to get over herself.

I’d tell you I’m plotting and scheming for all things 2016.

At work for our next milestones.  At home for resolutions, race schedules, and vacation plans.  I don’t have a lot of concrete answers for the first 3, but I think this will be next year’s trip.

I’ve been to Roatan twice on a cruise, and have always wanted to go back for a longer vacation.  The snorkeling has been divine, I’ve been told the diving is top notch, and I’m pretty sure I won’t want to leave there either.

I’d tell you that one recent morning, bleary-eyed, I mistook the Ben Gay for the toothpaste, and almost made a HORRIBLE mistake.

I lost a toothbrush over it, not my teeth, so there’s that.  And that’s pretty much where I’m at lately.

Now, your turn.  If we were having coffee, what would you tell me?