Diaries of a madwoman – day 1 of #projectraceweight

I know things will fall into place soon.  I know it gets easier…  routine, inertia, and all those types of things.  But the first few days of trying to limit calories are always ridiculously horrible and hilarious.  So, I present to you… the day 1 chronicles of #projectraceweight.

Spaceship!!! I mean raceweight!!!!

Upon waking: yeah! Time to start #projectraceweight, I’ve only been thinking about this for months.  LETS GET IT ON!

Morning – hey, I’m too busy to do anything but eat this 100 calorie greek yogurt (with a 5 day old spoon from my last yogurt that’s still sitting at my desk, yeah, I know, I’m gross).  That’s probably a good start, right?

Mid-morning: why am I biting people’s heads off and feeling irrationally angry at things?  Oh, right, I only had a 100 calorie yogurt for breakfast.

noon-thirty: turkey sandwich is LIFE.  Veggie pasta salad is EVERYTHING.  I’m sorry for the things I thought when I was hungry.  I love eating food.

Sadly, not publix.  But like, kinda the same.  With sprouted grain bread instead of magic bread.  And no magical pickles.  Ok, not the same at all. 🙁

2pm: well, fuck, why am I hungry already?  Well, knew this was going to happen for a few days.  Let’s get some decaf chai.  Yummmm.

3pm: gum is good gum is good gum is good gum is good gum is good gum is good.

4pm: why did i eat the stupid cheese on my sandwich?  That’s 70 calories, like half the can of soup I’m staring at wishing I could put in my mouth.  I wonder how many calories are in tin?

4:30pm: I ate a healthy breakfast and lunch.  Why aren’t I skinny yet?  119 days and 1 dinner to go.  Sigh…

This is the appropriate sized salad for me right now…

5pm: gum is good gum is good gum is good… fuck, it’s getting stale. *pleh*

5:14pm, 5:21pm, 5:22pm, 5:22:30pm, etc: is it time to go yeeeeeeeeet?

5:25pm: break down and grab my blackberries.  Some of them taste like they’re about to turn bad.  Wonder if a stomach bug would help me get to race weight quicker.  Decide to pick around the obviously bad ones as a compromise.

5:45pm: whyyyyyy do I have to do an errand after work?  I want to eat dinner noaaaaw.  Who’s idea was it to give up snacks?  (sigh, ME)

6pm: if the bike guy takes any longer I might go lick someone’s tires.

6:30pm: this is the best chicken I’ve ever tasted in my life.  This yogurt caesar isn’t so bad either.  I love food.  I love food so much.  This is one thing I have going for me, I love healthy food so at least I don’t hate what I’m eating.  That would be horrible!

6:45pm: I have more calories, and I’m still hungry, so another chicken patty and 10 (count them) tater tots as a treat.  Besides needing a dash more fiber, my macros are spot on without explicitly trying *throws the rockstar horns*.

7pm: ok, 1250 calories.  Done for the day.  I’ll put some lemon and stevia in this water and pretend it’s vodka and I’m sipping it on a beach somewhere, already done with this.

Yep.  Totally the same, except on my couch, from a water bottle, no booze, and no ocean to play in.  Totally the same.  (Not the same at all)

8:30pm: fuck it, let’s go to bed so I can’t see the kitchen anymore.

8:45pm: proudly put two stars on the calendar, one for me, one for Zliten, signifying that we made it through #projectraceweight day one, successfully

Today, I’m here with coffee in hand and a slightly bigger breakfast, and I’m back to the start.  1 day + 1 meal down, 118 and 2 meals to go.  Let’s get it on, day 2!