Adjusted Reality

Hello, world.  Nice to meet you.  I like riding bikes, if you didn’t know that already.

Bluebonnets and cheese…

However, I like riding bikes a lot less when it’s really cold and windy.  I’ve done plenty of that riding training for Ironman Texas, and I have no issues heading out on my bike into the cold, or into the wind, but both at the same time kind of sucks.

Last year, hardening the eff up was kind of a point of pride and helped me make the jump to the Ironman distance on the bike (which was the discipline I needed the most work on, endurance-wise).  Honestly, it also helped me when Ironman day came and we had 20-30 mph winds on an exposed toll road.  However, this year, I’m training for sprint triathlons, which translates to racing for approximately 40 minutes (vs 7 hours) on my time trial bike.  Then, later this year, I will be training for an approximately 3 hour ride in hot and humid conditions.

So, there was nothing that riding 43 miles in the feels-like-30s and super windy conditions would benefit me, besides the excuse to eat some junk food along the way at aid stations and after (which would probably sabotage my weight loss efforts – I can negate that calorie burn in one aid station full of cookies and PB pretzels).  So, instead of doing any of that, we stayed home.  This is my third DNS over the last 9 years, and the other two were because my knee was so injured I could barely walk.  There was no choice in the matter for the previous two.  On first blush, I figured I should woman the eff up and go.

However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized I should probably miss the start line for things more often than I have.  In this case, for very little gain, I would be subjecting myself to illness (cold and windy riding for hours) and injury (always the risk of it riding outside, but in a group of thousands of other riders it amplifies).  When I signed up, I was super looking forward to it IN SPITE of it not being specific training, and was ok taking a break from hammering the bike to go have a beautiful morning riding outside and supporting the Rosedale school.  When the enjoyment part was removed with the crappy weather, I realized I was still supporting the school with my entry fee and decided that a trainer ride in my living room would be a much better idea.  And that was that.

We don’t want to get here.  We want to keep a reserve of give-a-crap.

I hate giving up, but I had to put it in perspective.  Seven days previous to that would-be ride, my body and mind produced a PR and a first place.  Four days after that, my body and mind ran 8:58 pace (30 seconds better than I raced at) off a challenging bike.  These breakthroughs are coming around for a few reasons, I believe:

1.  My body (and mind) are strong enough, finally.  Those two months of weighted squats and throwing kettlebells and working the posterior chain and my upper body finally feeling stable enough to be comfortable in aero position and my arms and hips gaining enough flexibility to start approximating a runners stride instead of the marathon shuffle -these things are starting to pay off.  And, I’ll give credit to a little bit of mental work as well.  Figuring out how to get out of my own way and let my body do what it can do without judgement or limitations has been a 2018 focus.
2. My body (and mind) are RESTED enough to do this kind of thing.  I have learned in life that for me to be successful, I have to walk the line between “we are what we repeatedly do” and “I have a finite-amount-of-give-a-crap”.  If I ask myself to HTFU constantly, and for things that don’t matter, I end up becoming the girl who cried wolf and I won’t show up when the chips are down.  If I give myself a pass on the things that don’t matter, I’m more likely to show up to the things that are more important.  Then again, if I shy away from HTFU moments entirely, I tend to continue to avoid them.  Like I said, it’s about walking that line.

Go ahead and pretend this is a selfie of me in the cold and wind riding outside.  I won’t tell anyone if you won’t.

So, I skipped a charity ride (apparently a lot of other folks went outside at 7am, said NOPE, and did the same as well) and life went on.  I had a nice relaxing weekend at home and then in my sleep on Sunday morning, I decided to shove one side of my ribs two inches higher and spent the day spasming in pain.  That was super fun.

I’m all fixed now (chiro put me back the next morning and now I’m feeling reasonably fine), but that was the universe shouting to BACK THE EFF OFF for a day.  I couldn’t run or bike or swim (was actually planning on doing a short session of each that day).  I could barely help with chores – which sounds conveeeeeenient, but I set off a spasm attack by putting a sweatshirt on. 😛 Yeah, it sucked. But, I watched about eight movies this weekend and got reacquainted with my couch and feel like I had some nice, lazy downtime and I’m ready to attack this week.

Workouts last week:

• ~1 hour lifting Monday/Friday
• 90 min bike commute Tuesday
• 1k swim and 60 min team BSS brick Wednesday
• planned day off Thursday
• 1 hour trainer ride with 3×5 min race power and 3×1 min 200+ power Saturday
• Trying not to anger the rib dieties by looking at anything funny (off) Sunday

And that’s it. 6 hours of training (I missed a short run, bike, and swim, 1.5 hours total).  I’m aiming to do a little this week and the week after (but not too too much) and then a rest week to prepare for Texasman.  This week’s plan:

• 3 runs: two speedy (2-3 miles) off the bike (Wed/Sat) and one easier 4 miler (done!)
• 3 bikes: 40 min trainer ride- 3x (5 min hill (~200W at low cadence)/2 min easy) (done!), two 45-60 min brick rides (Wed/Sat) with some spice as well.
• 2 swims: probably both in the pool, around 1k meters, maybe up to 1.5k if I get enough time one morning… (Wed/Fri)
• 2 weights sessions: kettlebells (done!), lifting (Thurs), maybe a bonus core session (Sat) if I can.

Looks like a lot, but it comes out to around 7 hours, give or take, because a lot of these sessions are 20-30 minutes.  I also slacked a little last week, so I’m recommitting to hit my shoulder and ankle exercises AT LEAST 5x this week and either a stretch or roll every day if not both.

I run (and bike and swim) on chicken and potatoes.

On the body composition facet of project #getfaster – I’m actually seeing some results on the scale, and weirdly enough, without affecting my training efforts.  Unicorn status: reached.  I know this is ONLY the case because I am not training all that much, this dive would be a much harder degree of difficulty if I was attempting this while training for something longer, but it’s… like… working!  I’m doing the things I am supposed to do and my body is responding.  This is revolutionary, y’all!

• Last week’s average calories: 1659
• Last week’s average daily burn: 2214
• Average deficit: 555
• Average diet quality: 21
• Average weight: 181.8

My weight graph is going the right way as well.  This week officially gets me back to the weight I raced Austin 70.3 at in October 2016.  Referencing my progress HERE, its nice to note that I have lost 4 lbs in two weeks.  I’ve also dipped into the 170s a few times in the last week, which happened last in October 2016 (and like, twice before I ate my way through the holidays/offseason and gained almost 10 lbs).

If I can keep with the rate of loss here, I may be able to be in the low 170s, maybe even high 160s by vacation… and that’s a place I haven’t been in many, many years.  So, I just need to keep doing what I’m doing.  Can do.  It’s challenging but not impossible.  Progress breeds inspiration for me, so it’s been a little easier to keep going this time.

Things get created here.  And not just dust.

In other news, I have a hit another huge milestone – I have officially, as of Saturday, April 7th, finished the first draft of my book.  Now it’s done and ready to publish, right?

Totally kidding.  I know I’ve got a long way to go.

My next steps are:

1. Take a first editing pass on each chapter to clean it up a little so it doesn’t hurt the eyeballs to read.  However, I know I’ll want to canoodle with this forever if I don’t set a time limit, so I will start with that in mind.  I’m not sure what that is yet, but I don’t want to still be doing a first pass on this in December.

2. Read it myself.  Like, laying in bed, on my kindle, like I read other books.  Trying to distance myself from the fact that *I* actually wrote the thing and see how it reads overall.

3.  Read The Essential Guide to Getting Your Book Published.  And maybe do some internet research and poking some of my author friends as well on learning all the things about getting published.

I’m hoping to complete all these steps within the next month or so.  Then… my first beta reader (my husband).  Eeep!

I have lots of other video and painting plans to tackle later this month, but I’m happy to have knocked out my April writing goal on the 7th.  Take that, procrastination!

I love March – Spring finally springs, the trees get green, things actually seem to start for the year (January and February are warmups, really), and there’s a lot to celebrate.

Celebrating another strength workout down with Black Betty.

If only just the fact that I tend to, this month, get older than I have ever been.

Lifting heavy has been fun, but my body decided about a week earlier than planned to be done with it.  I’m hoping to be a little more successful at it next go around, if I maintain my once-a-week work in the weightroom with the same lifts, but my body just did not appreciate lifting heavy things at low reps that many weeks in a row.  OR it might be that I didn’t take the rest week as prescribed.  Nah, can’t be that.  I’ll heed that advice next time I go into a lift-all-the-things block.

I hit 100# on my bench press, 90# on my incline bench, 145# on my squat, and 155# on my deadlifts successfully at 3×4 reps.  I now own a 40# kettlebell that I can do swings with, and if I can borrow the 55# one from a coworker, I can squat and deadlift that no problem.  I am both rowing and overhead pressing 60# for 3×8 right now.

It makes sense in hindsight, because every other sport I have done required daily strength work, but it took a long time for me to connect the dots that lifting heavy things + actually getting to a RESTED state for one = being a better triathlete.  I have seen the payoff with an increased ability to produce watts on the bike and leg strength and proper stride on my run.  I’m just starting to test the waters now, and I look forward to digging into the pain cave this spring, because I like what I see so far.  Swimming, like the poor red-headed stepchild it is right now, is what it is.  We’ll get there now that 70-80 degree days are more of a thing and I’m actually trying to triathlete again.

But, I got to stand on top of a podium, so there is that. 🙂

April will be a fairly balanced month.  Training SOLELY for sprints (not sprints and a half marathon or sprints and a century ride or sprints AND anything) affords me the opportunity to stick with the weights, and keep all the runs, bikes, and swims short for the most part.  If I’m not killing myself with volume, I can do that hurt-so-good speedwork and concentrate on drills and form and pre-hab and stretching and for the love of god actually get back to run warmups if I’m not running directly off the bike.

Work, yes, but obviously there will still be some time for playing bikes on beautiful days chasing sunsets and twinning our #wattagecottage socks because that is necessary for survival.

What it will look like, for the most part:

Swimming: twice a week. If I want my swim to stop sucking, I need to do it, even if it’s the least convenient sport on the planet.

• 20-30 min swim focusing on drills and form and longer efforts (300-500m at race pace, etc).
• 20-30 min swim focusing on speedwork (25-100m repeats).

When it stops being super chilly, I will try to take one of these per week into the lake.

Biking: three times a week.  I really want to PLAY bikes right now, but I need to limit that and actually WORK on building watts and stuff with harder, more focused, melt your face off rides.  But not too many, I want to still love bikes and also not get burnt out. So, I’ll split it up as such each week.

• One happy fun longer play bikes with the group with the group type ride.
• One brick workout with the speed circles in the middle (or similar if we don’t make the team brick).
• Split the difference on the third ride – maybe a commute with some harder intervals on the way to work, or a trainer ride with some spicy stuff in it, or maybe even endurance cycle class.

Also, I must be on my tri bike once a week, preferably outside if at all possible.

Running: two to three per week.

• Brick workout – typically a few miles all out off the bike.
• Longer and easier (maybe work up to an hour or so…)
• Then if I get a chance to do the third one… it will probably vary by week depending on whatever else is on the docket.  I’d love to work some track work back into my life but due to convenience it will probably be more running off the bike.

Weights: hoping to keep the three sessions per week but shorten them.

• One medium-heavy session in the gym with the typical lifts I’ve been doing (squats, deadlifts, bench, rows, presses, woodchoppers, etc, at the weight I can do 8-10 reps).  The priority here are lifts I can’t do elsewhere.
• Lunchtime kettlebell routine/core workout I’ve done twice and liked (kb squats, swings, deadlifts, side rocks, pushups, planks, etc) OR another gym session if I can make it.
• The Oiselle Dozen or something similar, very short, mainly focused on core and another excuse to stretch after.

It sounds like a lot but each session is actually pretty short, and I want to combine them when possible.  If I’m going to the gym for lifting, I’ll can warm up with some running or cool down with a swim if I have time.  I can probably do a short run at lunch AND that kettlebell workout in an hour if I hustle.  Bricks are great efficient workouts that knock out two sports and I run best off the bike because I’m already warmed up.  And it creates less laundry.  Win, win, win.

Yes, this is all super healthy food (almond crusted chicken and turnip mash with collard greens).  I love me the heck out of some Snap Kitchen.

I’ve talked a ton and a half already about nutrition, so let me just say that the scale is going the correct way, and I think I’ll probably continue with these goals through April:

• 1500 calories, good diet quality.  In that order.
• Batch cook 1-2 meals that are approximately 300-400 calories per serving, and supplement the rest of the week with Snap Kitchen foods.  I was balking at the cost and then I realized I’ve not gone out to eat except grabbing a turkey sandwich on the way to the race and splitting a chopped beef sandwich on the way back (under 25$) and on a good week before I’d spend at least 100$ (if not more) on takeout or restaurant food.
• I’m just not doing desserts except on extreme special occasions (read: family member made it and maybe a few times on vacation).  Once I detox my food intake a little, I find I don’t really need to be eating cake or cookies or sugary crap.  I do not gain anything but a headache and regret when I eat a slice of cake.  However, most every evening, I do have dark chocolate, either via split a piece of Sees Candy with my husband or a square from a good chocolate bar.  I will cut you if you get between me and my half piece of chocolate. ><
• Really, what I need to do is limit my indulgences to my two nights a week where I get to drink some whiskey.  I’ve learned that at the bottom of it all, I can totally cut out everything else and this is the last thing to go.

This month, I will need to navigate:

• Two game days (bringing a veggie tray. and trying not to cry too loudly in front of any potato chips that may or may not be there that I WILL NOT EAT)
• Not eating like a complete asshole after a 40 mile bike ride + brick (planning an acceptable amount of calories for lunch and probably Snap Kitchen for dinner).
• A birthday/Easter family celebration (though *we* are cooking this one so I will have lots of lean protein and veggies available and I’ll probably just cook myself a healthy dessert so I can have something to do with my hands while the rest of the family goes into sugar overload)
• Another race camping trip (with the same issue of finishing a sprint at 9am and then not just commencing with the eating junk food and drinking beer until I pass out)
• Possibly another birthday shindig, monthly cake day and cheese day at work, and whatever else life wants to throw at me.

So, I just need to remember all the reasons I’d like to take some weight off and that if I really focus for a few months it will save me years of half assing it and being disappointed with my results.  That’s worth ten orders of fries and an ice cream sundae.

On the general life stuff front – I’ll give myself an A+ on the fun stuff, D on the adulting.  That’s about par for the course.

Creative/fun/learny stuff –

Reference here.   Also, it’s incredibly hard to photograph canvas well.

I painted a thing, see?  I’m actually super happy with it, which is an outcome I didn’t expect when I started.  My art-ing muscle is a little weak and atrophied, but I’m looking forward to flexing it a little more to strengthen it.  The process is fun!

To keep from freezing up choosing a subject, my husband is picking them.  So, next up, I have a snorkeling picture from Roatan featuring some very curious Sergeant Majors.  I’d love to do one painting a month, so that’s my goal for April.

I read two books, Angel and You Do You.

Angel gave me a really great insight into Angel investing, which is something I either would love to do or might be on the receiving end of someday.  While I feel like I learned a lot, I probably need to focus my attention elsewhere because I am neither rich enough to really jump in with both feet (minimum requirement to be accredited is 200k annual salary) nor ready to launch anything that would need Angel investors for a minute.

You Do You was a really fun anti-self help book that had me nodding my head with it and laughing.  She talks about how to take risks, stop worrying about what Judgy Mcjudgersons are thinking or saying about you, and basically own your own quirks and let your freak flag fly.  I wouldn’t say it’s life changing for me, but I’m the kid that roller skated down the block with a refrigerator box on my head pretending to be a robot who really never gave that kind of shit up.

In April, I have Operation Ironman and The Essential Guide to Getting Your Book Published on the docket.  I might have already finished the first one but I’ll save my discussion for later.

I wrote a chapter (chapter 10).  I’m growing increasingly unhappy with my writing, which means I’m probably on the right track and getting close to wrapping things up.  I’m torn.  I really am super excited that April will see my last book chapter done and I’ll have, for the first time in my life, completed a book, all 80k or so words of it.  However, then, holy shit, it’s real, and I need to actually do something with it and, ulp, maybe someday someone will actually read the thing?  Why didn’t I go into writing pulpy sci fi instead of non-fiction about myself?  Ack!

I made three more videos!  I’ve been having a lot of fun with it, and I’ve been learning a lot about the process.  For some reason, I have to constantly remind myself that I don’t need to be AWESOME at it right now, because again, like the painting, I’m having fun working on getting better by practicing. 🙂

I have notes written out for at least two more (part 1 and part 2), and I’ll make it a goal to do at least one additional video by the end of April on *something*.

Adulting –

We need some bodies to help us with the cabinet (we will have a captive audience on April 14 and will do it then), and then the garage will be done in a few minutes after that.  I’m ignoring that corner of the world until then.

My pantry will survive in it’s current state until I actually give a fig about doing it, which is obviously not any time soon.  I think I have to face facts that I used up about two years of give-a-shit doing my kitchen and there’s no way I’m going to be able to bring myself to be on a diet and in training and also domestic AF and I’m okay with that.

I’ll just continue to revel in the fact that I have a renovated kitchen and ignore all the other crap outside of it for another few years.  I think that’s a sound plan.

I feel slightly bad that I’m doing a fairly craptastic job at the adulting list, but it seems that 2018 has been about flexing my creative muscles again, and manifesting some progress on some long time goals I’ve wanted to achieve.  I’ll give up all the organized spaces in my house to make that happen.