So I had typed up this big long post of wah wah wah wah… I ate sorta crappy this weekend and I’m afraid of the scale. Money crap that is probably trivial to 99.9% of the country and world right now. Jealousy and anger towards the evil overlords who make more in one day than I do all year probably, and still have denied us a Christmas break, bonus, and party. Lack of any sort of creativity in my job right now. Being a little mad at myself for being hypocritical – I’m mad that I can’t make progress anywhere in my life, but when I start losing a little weight again, I overstuff my belly all weekend. I want to be ok with just maintaining what I’m doing and accepting life will be how it is for a while, but I still want more.
However, I’m doing well in the overall scheme of things, and instead of posting the 1000+ words of whining I had typed up, I’m going to take a cue from 100 days in bed and list 7 things about my life that make me happy.
1. I have the most wonderful partner in crime and love of my life for 9 years who has stuck by me in rich times and poor times, fat time and thin times, workaholic times and slacker times, and has definitely experienced the best and worst of me without barely a complaint. I feel loved.
2. Even through these tough economic times (drink now if you’re playing the drinking game), we can still make the mortage, the car payment, and all the bills without draining savings. We’ve made voluntary cutbacks to our lifestyle and consider the cost of something a bit more before buying it, but haven’t felt strapped for cash or poor even with less income. I feel financially independent.
3. I’ve lost over 100 freaking pounds since last January. I am no longer obese, out of shape, frail, weak, out of breath. I no longer snore or have sleep apnea. My back problems magically disappeared. I sleep better, longer, and earlier. I feel healthy.
4. Going further with that, I’m in the best shape of my adult life. I would not be embarassed with how my body looks if someone caught me in my undergarments (the boy short kind at least). I constantly check myself out in the mirror thinking “hello, gorgeous” with disbelief sometimes that it’s me, and that’s all of me that’s left. I feel sexy.
5. Having this new body, I can do so many things I never imagined possible. I can run 5 miles. I can lift 20 lb weights. I can almostalmostalmost do a pullup unassisted. I can rock climb. I can ice skate. I can do just about anything, and keep up with just about anyone. I feel strong.
6. I have a great group of friends here who I can be myself and silly and weird and let my guard down and they still think I’m fun to hang around. Or at least they tolerate me, which is just as good! I feel social.
7. I’m 29, and there are many years ahead of me. I’m already in a job title where the average age is well over 30, so it’s not as if I’m running out of time to climb the corporate ladder if that’s what I want to do. And maybe it’s not. I’ve got plenty of time to figure it out even if right now, holding on to what I have and staying stable is what I need to do. I feel competent.
So much better that what I was going to post. Off to drive in the fuh fuh fuh-rezing cold to go get my sweat on and hopefully not get caught in an ice storm on the way home.